Chapter forty one.
(AN – PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT)
HARRY’S POV:
Turning on the kettle I move towards the stove quickly turning over the pieces of bacon. I decide to cook Emma breakfast in bed today, today is going to be really difficult for her as it’s her grandma’s funeral.
I know me cooking breakfast won’t fix things but maybe it will make things a little easier, I don’t know. I just figured it was a nice thing to do.
Emma’s still sleeping right now, I hate leaving her and not being by her side.
I quickly plate up the breakfast and grab a tray to put the plate on alongside a massive mug of coffee, she’s going to need it for sure.
Entering the bedroom I look up to see Emma is already awake, she must of woken up whilst I was cooking. She’s sat up with hair covering some of her perfect face up staring into space.
‘’Morning love’’ I say smiling slightly.
‘’Umm’’ Emma mumbles blinking a little.
‘’ I made breakfast’’ I tell her placing the tray on the bed.
‘’I can’t’’ she whispers.
‘’Please baby you need to eat’’ I tell her pushing the tray closer to her.
She immediately grabs the coffee and drinks it all straight away.
‘’How about eating?’’
She looks up at me slowly as her eyes flick between me and the plate of food, I give her a reassuring smile before she reaches towards the plate cutting it into tiny little pieces.
She doesn’t eat very much, not even half, but at least she ate.
‘’Its 10:30 now and the funeral starts at 1:00. Its going to take about an hour to get there so you have about two hours to get ready’’ I tell her sitting beside her on the bed.
Emma slowly nods her head.
‘’I don’t think I can Harry’’ she says just above a whisper.
‘’You can, you’re strong. You can do it love’’
‘’I’m not strong’’ she sighs a small tear slips from her eye.
Quickly I reach forward and wipe the tear away with her thumb.
‘’Yes you are! It doesn’t matter anyways, I’m here and everything will be ok’’
‘’No it won’t’’
‘’I know, but… well you’ve got me’’ I sigh, not that I’m much to offer.
‘’Make it all go away Harry! Please just make it go away’’ she says her voice shaky as if she’s fighting off the tears.
‘’ I will baby, I promise I’m going to fix it, I’ll make it go away’’ I whisper as I pull her into a hug carefully kissing her neck.
******
EMMA’S POV:
I wish I could just stay in this shower forever, not have to face today but I can’t.
I take as much time as possible washing my body, shaving and washing my hair.
Once I’m done I turn off the water wrapping a big fluffy towel around myself as I switch on the hair dryer and proceed to dry my hair.
Next I curl it into neat even curls that fall into perfect ringlets, but I don’t like my hair like this perfect doesn’t suit me, so instead I grab a teasing comb and backcomb up the curls before adding some texture spray and scrunching it in.
Once I’m done I mist my hair with hairspray so it stays in place throughout the day.
For my makeup I apply foundation to even out my completion before adding a little peach blush to my cheeks. I love this colour it suits my skin tone so well, thinking about it my grandma bought this for me. My grandma… I really can’t do this I can’t.
‘’Harry’’ I call out, not very loudly though my voice won’t allow it.
‘’Yes baby’’ he say appearing at the bathroom door.
‘’I can’t’’ I whisper desperately trying not to cry.
‘’Yes you can’’ he tells me his hands resting on my shoulders as he stairs deeply into my eyes.
I shake my head. ‘’You can’’ he whispers as he kisses me forehead.
‘’What do you need to do now?’’ he asks studying my appearance carefully.
‘’My eye makeup’’ I tell him shrugging slightly.
‘’Ok well I’m going to go get dressed I’ll be back in a minute he tells me squeezing my hand before leaving the room.
I pick up my mascara and run it through my lashes several times until I’ve got them to my desired length and thickness, which is really long and really thick.
I then apply a nude eye shadow all over the lid before adding a golden brown into the crease. Next I add my cat eye with black eyeliner.
Now all I need to do is fill in my brows once they’re done I pick out a nude lipstick and apply it to my lips.
Time to pick an outfit… I probably should have gone shopping for something to wear but I haven’t left the house in four days so I couldn’t.
Fuck knows what I’m going to wear.
After scouring my closet for about 20 minutes I finally pick out my outfit. I decided on a black skater dress with a chiffon skirt part and a sweetheart neckline. I add a pair of small heels because I don’t want my feet to hurt, I hurt enough emotionally already.
I choose a black clutch bag put a few essentials in it.
‘’You look beautiful love’’ Harry says as he enters the room.
‘’You ready to go?’’ He asks walking towards me.
‘’I just need jewellery’’
Moving towards my jewellery box I proceed to rake though the millions of items I own, not managing to find any that I want to wear. That’s until I come across the perfect necklace, it’s a gold cross.
My grandma gave it to me years ago, apparently it was her mothers. I’m not religious and neither was grandma but that doesn’t matter, she gave me it and now I’m going to finally wear it.
‘’Here’’ Harry says taking it from my hand, he slowly moves my hair aside and clips the necklace around my neck. He then leans down pressing a soft kiss on my neck.
‘’let’s go’’ I say taking his hand and leading him out of the apartment.
******
The car journey was nowhere near long enough, but then again no amount of time would have prepared me for this.
‘’You ready?’’ Harry asks as he unclips his seat belt.
I nod slowly before opening the door and stepping out of the car.
Harry rushes around to my side before swiftly wrapping an arm around my waist, gripping onto me tightly.
As we make our way across the car park I see my Dad, I haven’t seen him or spoken to him since the hospital. I don’t know if I can either… he’s going to cry and I can’t stand seeing him upset it literally shatters my heart into a million pieces, and well my hearts already pretty broken.
Harry senses my nervousness and grips tighter to my waist, as if he’s assuring me he’s here for me. Which he is, that’s the incredible thing about Harry and he’s here supporting me when he doesn’t need to. He isn’t my husband for real, he isn’t my boyfriend. We’ve both treated each other like shit yet we seem to care about each other limitlessly. I feel more than care for Harry… I love him.
‘’Sweetheart’’ my dad says giving me a weak smile.
‘’Dad’’ I whisper instantly unlatching myself from Harry and falling into my father’s arms.
‘’I love you so much’’ he whispered into my hair.
‘’I love you too dad’’ I reply before kissing his cheek.
‘’ You should know I…umm… I said you’d do a speech’’ Dad stuttered.
‘’What?’’
‘’Well I couldn’t do it, I just can’t Em, I’ll cry too much’’ He continued explaining.
‘’And you think I won’t?’’ I say trying my best not to get angry with him. Neither of us need that right now.
‘’No, I know you’re not as strong as you seem but… well it makes sense for you to do it, you meant the world to grandma’’ He says his eyes glossed over with tears.
‘’Ok’’ I whisper.
‘’ I should go inside’’ I continued stepping backwards grabbing onto Harrys hand as we make our way inside the church.
‘’You don’t have to do that speech if you don’t want to you know?’’ Harry tells me quietly as we walk to the front of the church.
‘’Yes I do’’
Harry sighs because he knows there isn’t really much point trying to convincing me otherwise.
‘’Emma darling’’
I look up to see it was Anne who just spoke, I’d totally forgot she’d be here.
‘’How are you holding up?’’ she asks her voice filled with pity. I hate it when people pity me.
‘’I’m fine’’ I mumble whilst playing about with mine and Harrys intertwined fingers.
‘’Really?’’ she questions, clearly she doesn’t believe me.
‘’Leave it Mum’’ Harry hisses.
Anne nods understandingly before patting my shoulder as we walk past her.
Within a couple of minutes the ceremony has started and the tears rapidly begin to fall from my eyes.
‘’Now its time for a couple of words from Valerie’s granddaughter, Emma’’ The pastor says.
Everyone’s eyes turn towards me… this is it.
Slowly I rise from my seat walking up to begin my speech.
‘’Honestly no-body told me I was doing this until I arrived so it isn’t planned… But well my grandma was probably the most important and inspiration person I’ve ever met, and I doubt I’ll meet anybody better either. My mother left when I was very young so my Dad and I lived with my grandma for a couple of years. She became my mother, and to this day she still is. When we moved away I saw her less and less but that didn’t matter because I still loved her and she still loved me. When grandma first got sick I remember how much that literally shattered me, but it didn’t break her. She kept going, fighting and honestly she didn’t let it affect her life much. She was still up for a party, and still my amazing grandmother. A couple of months back she told me I was going to get married, she’d always told me this and well apparently this year was when it had to happen. When grandma introduced me to Harry, I hated him. But… I was wrong, he’s probably the second most important person to me now, because like I said no one will ever beat grandma. I’m glad I married when I did because grandma got to meet Harry, and she got to make her own dream come true, seeing me happy. I love you Grandma’’
Throughout the speech there was several moments where my voice was shaky or I had to pause to wipe away the tear. I sort of planned to say all that stuff about Harry for show and also because well maybe if grandma could hear me then well that’s what she’d want to hear. But actually it ended up being true.
As the speech finished the music began to play and a carefully walked towards Harry holding my hand out for him as we made our way out of the church, my dad and I stood at the doors while people came over offering us hugs and sympathy.
‘’Will you come back to grandma’s house please?’’ Dad asks
‘’Why?’’
‘’Well some family and friends are coming back, it’s sort of a wake. And well we need to sort the will out as well’’ He explained.
‘’Ok fine’’ I mumbled, I don’t really want to. Today’s been enough already, all I want to do is sleep.
I made my way over to Harry who quickly pulled me into a tight hug.
‘’I’m so proud of you baby’’ he whispered kissing the top of my head.
‘’ I love you’’ He continued.
Authors note ----- thank you all so much for reading, I love you all.
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