Will and JJ's wedding was beautiful. She had been so surprised at her mother being there. Tears swelled in my eyes as we all stood there, watching her walk down the aisle. Her dress was simple, but elegant, just like her. I had always dreamed of having a beautiful wedding. There was nothing quite like it. I had it all planned out in my head, minus the guy. Little Henry looked so cute in his little tuxedo standing between JJ and Will. I smiled and wiped a tear that had fallen.
After the ceremony, we all stepped up to congratulate them, and I pulled JJ in for a huge hug. "I am so happy for you and Will. You look so beautiful!" I exclaimed, holding her at arm's length. Will stepped up, finally breaking away from the crowd of people. "And you," I started, feigning a stern look, "if you ever hurt her, I will make your death look like an accident." He laughed, pulling JJ into his arms. "I wouldn't put it past you."
The music had started and they had shared their first dance together. Wine, champagne, and other beverages were being passed out, and I grabbed a champagne off of the table as I went to stand by Rossi. He was standing on the sidelines of the dance floor that had a tent over it. I didn't say anything when I finally got over to him, but I saw him glance at me. "Why aren't you dancing, kiddo?" He asked, taking a swig of his...well, I assumed it was scotch. "Gotta have a few drinks first, I suppose," I said, chuckling.
My eyes swept over the dance floor, until I found what I was looking for. I found it alright, but my heart dropped. Aaron had brought his girlfriend, Beth. I swallowed back the feelings that erupted within me, and drank more of my champagne. Rossi raised an eyebrow at me, and followed my gaze. "Ah," he said. I looked over at him, knowing I'd been caught. "What?" I said, pretending like I didn't know. I hadn't really admitted my feelings about Hotch, except to JJ, but I had a feeling that most of the team knew. Except maybe Reid, but the poor boy was clueless when it came to stuff like that.
"I see what you're looking at, and I wish I could help. But everything happens for a reason, you know," He said, turning to me. "I...I know...but I'm fine, Rossi, really." He gave me a look and I rolled my eyes. "I'm a big girl, I can handle it." He chuckled, and put his glass down on the table behind us, and took mine with it. "Hey, I need that," I whined. He grabbed my hand and led me onto the dance floor. "Later," he said, putting his hand around my waist, and taking my hand in his. We swayed back and forth, dangerously close to Aaron and Beth, and he spoke up. "See? This isn't so bad." I smiled softly at him. "No, but it doesn't mean that it's good, either." He knew I wasn't talking about the dancing, just as I knew he wasn't talking about it, either.
He twirled me around and I couldn't help but laugh. The song finally came to an end, just as another one began. My heart about exploded, because I immediately recognized the song. "So Close" by Jon McLaughlin. Ironically, it explained the relationship between Aaron and me perfectly. Rossi went up to Beth with a mischievous gleam in his eye. "You wouldn't mind dancing with an old man for one song, would you?" He said, as she laughed and agreed. I went to turn back to the sidelines, as I felt a hand grasp my wrist. I turned to see Aaron attached to said hand. "It appears I've lost my partner for a while. Would you care to dance?" He said, smiling down at me.
How could I resist that face? That smile that he so rarely gave out? I realized I'd been standing there, probably with my mouth hanging open, and I still hadn't said anything. "Oh, um...of course." I stammered, as he took me back onto the floor. His arm encircled my waist and his hand found mine. It fit in mine perfectly, and I couldn't even begin to describe how it made me feel. One part of me wanted to jump for joy, as I was finally so close (no pun intended) to him, but another part of me wanted to curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of eternity.
You're in my arms, and all the world is calm,
The music playing on for only two.
So close, together.
And when I'm with you
So close, to feeling alive.
And how true that was, I thought, looking up into his eyes. They met mine, and I almost couldn't look away...
A life goes by,
Romantic dreams must die.
So I bid my goodbye
And never knew.
So close, was waiting,
Waiting here with you.
And now, forever, I know
All that I wanted
to hold you so close.
It truly was all that I wanted. "Are you alright?" He asked, leaning down to my ear. His cheek was pressed up against mine, and I felt the team looking at us. "I'm fine, Aaron." But I wasn't.
So close to reaching
That famous happy end.
Almost believing
This one's not pretend.
And now you're beside me,
And look how far we've come.
So far we are. So close...
The music started into a waltz-like phase, and we were both following along with the music, across the dance floor. It slowed back down and we were a lot closer to each other than when we had first started out.
Oh how could I face the faceless days
If I should lose you now?
"I don't believe you..." He said, speaking low. My heart was slowly breaking.
We're so close to reaching
that famous happy end,
And almost believing,
this one's not pretend.
Let's go on dreaming
for we know we are...
so close, so close
and still so far...
The song came to a close, and so did my emotions. I blocked everything out, focusing on absolutely nothing. I couldn't let this take over. I couldn't let him take over. I smiled weakly up at him, and saw nothing but worry and concern in his eyes. "Thank you for the dance, Hotch," I said, not realizing that I called him Hotch instead of Aaron. But he noticed. He took a step closer to me, and I backed away.
"I can't," I whispered, weakly. I went back over to the table where my drink was, as I overheard her coming back over to him. "Everything alright, sweetheart?" She asked him. I wanted to puke. "Yes, of course," He responded, but he didn't sound convincing. I wanted to like her, I did. I just couldn't. I was jealous. I was mad. I was...I was broken...broken and pathetic. He was happy. That's all that should matter.
Derek came over to me, after seeing something going on, I'm sure. "Hey mama...you okay?" he said, sounding cautious. "You don't have to walk on eggshells around me, Derek, I won't break," I stated, blankly, separating my emotions from how I wanted to appear. He sighed. "Come on," he said, pulling me with him. "Derek, I don't want to-" I started, when he pulled me onto the floor. "I don't care, shush and dance with me. How can I let such a pretty little thang like yourself stand over there by the side, when I could have you over here by mine?" I chuckled at his little pick up line. "Smooth, Derek Morgan. Very smooth."
I glanced over at Hotch, who had his back to us, as he was dancing with Beth. When his face came back around, I averted my eyes. "You know," Derek started, suppressing a laugh, "I sure wish you two would stop staring at each other behind the other one's back." I looked at him, confused. "Derek, he's probably just worried. It's nothing more than that," I stated, trying to hide my pathetic hope that something would come from it. "Uh huh, sure. Whatever you say, mama," he said, twirling me around.
My shoulder hit something behind me, or rather, someone, and I turned. "Sorry," I began, seeing that it was, in fact, Aaron that I had "accidentally" bumped into. "No, it's fine, I wasn't paying a bit of attention," he said, as Beth started talking to him again. "You did that on purpose!" I hissed at Derek, quietly. He bit his cheek to keep from smiling. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Everyone was getting ready to leave. Will and JJ had already taken off to wherever they were going for the night, and Emily, Derek, Hotch, Beth, and I were the last ones there. We had finished cleaning up the last bit of the decorations up, and were headed out to our cars. My feet were killing me now. I don't know why I had decided to wear heels. I sat down on the front steps to take them off.
Aaron and Beth walked outside at that point and sounded like they were having a quiet disagreement.. I didn't want to seem rude, so I got up. They obviously didn't know I had been sitting there, as they both stopped talking. "Aaron, I'm sorry. I just can't. I'll see you later," she said, as she walked over to her car and left. They drove separately? That's weird, I thought. I figured it wasn't an appropriate time to strike up conversation with him, so I started the long journey back to my car.
I really didn't realize that I had parked so far down the street, but apparently I had. I heard footsteps behind me, and I turned on my heel. "Jeez, you scared the crap out of me. I was about to punch whoever it was creeping up behind me," I said, realizing it was only Aaron. He just stood there, looking at me. "Did...did you need something, or..." I asked, not quite sure of his intentions. "No, I just...wanted to make sure you made it to your car," he stammered. I sighed. "I'm fine, Aaron. Thanks," I said, grabbing my keys and unlocking my car.
"Look, Beth and I..." I cut him off quickly, not wanting to have this conversation right now. "No, Aaron. It's fine. You should probably go and talk to her. She seemed upset," I intervened, getting into my car. He stood there, looking defeated. Though, over what, I have no idea. "Please, just listen to me," he said, coming up to where I was sitting, kneeling down to me. I turned my head, feeling tears in my eyes. "Hey...tell me what's wrong...please. I hate seeing you like this," his voice caressed my ears, and I felt myself losing the will power to continue using a filter. "And I hate seeing you with her, Aaron!" I shouted.
I didn't realize what I had said until it was too late. I leaned my head back against the headrest in defeat. I took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, Aaron, I just-" Before I could finish my sentence, he had pulled me in for a kiss. I turned to him, kissing him back, but I pulled back a bit. "W-what about Beth," I said through the tears I didn't even know had fallen. "That's what I was trying to tell you. I told her I couldn't see her anymore because I was in love with someone else...with you."
That was all it took. I snaked my arms around his neck and tangled my fingers in his hair as I crashed my lips against his. Oh, how I longed for this. He slipped his arms around my waist, pulling me into a standing position instead of sitting in my car. My back was against the door as he leaned into me. The kiss was passionate and strong, not like the cautious kiss that had happened just moments ago. His hand came up to fit around my cheek as he looked into my eyes.
"I'm glad you danced with me," he said, holding me close to him.
A/N: Woah. I really didn't expect this to turn out to be this long. It's 2,000+ words! Holy cow! Anywho, I hope you guys like it! I'm currently on my week long vacation from college until I start back for the summer, and I have nothing better to do than write about the lovely SSA. The lyric video for "So Close" is up top! It's one of my favorites! So, vote, comment, comment, and vote! Love you all!
~A
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