Chapter forty.
(AN – PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT)
HARRY’S POV:
‘’Do you want a coffee love?’’ I ask Emma.
She’s sat in bed wrapped up in the covers, her face is pale and blank of any expression.
She blinks her eyes a couple of times as if recalling what I’d just said before nodding her head ever so slightly.
‘’ I’ll be back in the minute’’ I tell her before turning towards the kitchen.
This is how things have been for the past three days, we haven’t left the apartment not once.
We haven’t spoken to anyone either, Emma made me turn her phone off because she was sick of Ricky calling her. She won’t let me answer the house phone either, she doesn’t want to deal with anyone or anything right now and of course I completely understand that.
We haven’t really been talking much either, well I have I’m constantly telling her things and trying to coax her into a conversation but as of yet that hasn’t happened.
Her grandmother’s funeral is tomorrow so today I’ve really got to try to make some progress with her otherwise there’s a chance I won’t be able to get her to go to it.
We’ve just been in bed for the past three days cuddling, with the TV on but neither of us have paid any attention to what was on the screen.
I’ve been constantly making her coffee and trying to get her to eat but so far all she’s eaten is some toast, that’s it in three days one slice of toast!
The kettle boils and a quickly pour the boiling water into the mug before carrying the coffee back to the bedroom.
‘’Here you go love’’ I mutter as I pass the cup.
‘’Thank you’’ she whispers, this is literally the first real thing she’s said in three days.
A huge smile spreads across my face ‘’ its nothing’’ I smile before kissing her head and slipping in beside her.
Once she’s finished her coffee I decied now would be a good time to start making progress.
‘’Em do you want a shower?’’ I ask, she hasn’t showerd in the past three days either, I haven’t pushed her to because well that’s when she usually hurts herself… I haven’t let her out of my sight for more than a couple of minutes either.
Emma doesn’t reply instead she continues staring into space.
‘’Em come on baby’’ I say standing up holding my hand out for her, she doesn’t take it.
‘’Come on you’ll feel better, I promise’’
‘’No, nothings better’’ she whispers her voice shaky.
‘’I’ll make it better’’ I tell her, taking her hand in mine.
‘’Here’’ I whisper as I pull her into my arms lifting her off the bed and carrying her into the bathroom.
I place her down on the side while I turn on the shower.
I carefully unbutton the shirt Emma is wearing, my plaid shirt she hasn’t changed either.
I then slip off her panties, it’s funny really how much I’ve wanted her, to touch her to see her body and now none of that matters. She matters.
I lift her up sitting her down in the shower as I begin to wash her, I wash every inch of her body and then I move on to wash her hair.
Once I’m done I grab a towel and lift her out wrapping her up in it before sitting her on the side again.
I take the hair dryer and carefully dry Emma’s hair, my hands running through it as I play about with the hair. Right then Emma’s lips pull a little as if she’s about to smile, she doesn’t but she almost did.
‘’wait here’’ I tell her before heading over to the closet.
I probably didn’t need to tell her that because she hasn’t moved on her own in the past three days.
I look around in the closet for something for her to wear, first I pick out some underwear as much as I want to find the sexiest set and get her to wear it for me now is not the time…
Instead I pick out a simple black lace set, then I grab a pair of leggings and one of my jumpers. I chose my jumper because she likes wearing my stuff, I like her to wear my stuff and its warm and comfy.
I quickly return to the bathroom and begin to dress her once I’m done she climbs down from the side by herself and makes her way back to the bed.
‘’No Em, we’re going in the living room’’ I tell her guiding her towards the sofa.
‘’Now you’ve got to eat’’ I tell her.
She shakes her head slightly.
‘’I’m cooking and you’re going to eat it’’ I tell her before walking into the kitchen to look for something to cook.
EMMA’S POV:
These past few days Harry has been amazing, he probably thinks I don’t appreciate it but I really do.
I just haven’t told him, I haven’t spoken much at all either really.
The fact that he just washed me and dressed with me proves that, honestly I didn’t think Harry was capable of doing something like that and not making it sexual, but I guess I was wrong.
I’m no longer numb but its worse now because I just can’t do anything, I feel too much. Everything hurts.
‘’Here’’ Harry say setting a plate down on the coffee table glancing over I notice its pasta, my favourite.
‘’You don’t have to eat it all’’ he continues as he sits down beside me.
I give him a tiny smile, which is actually the best I can do, before picking up the plate and eating a tiny mouthful.
I continue until I’ve eaten about half then I set it back down on the table.
‘’Full?’’ Harry asks his hand resting gently on my leg.
‘’Yeah’’ I mumble.
His smile widens, probably because I just spoke.
‘’Come here’’ He whispers pulling me into his arms.
‘’Your amazing’’ I whisper half hoping he won’t actually hear me.
‘’No I’m not, you are love’’ Harry replies.
He’s started calling me ‘love’ a lot more recently, I really like it and it sounds amazing in his raspy voice.
We stay like this a while until there is a knock at the door instantly I jump up out of his arms.
‘’Should I go get it?’’ Harry asks.
‘’Yeah’’ I mumble, I can’t keep shutting people out.
Harry nods before standing up and making his way to the door.
‘’You shouldn’t be here’’ I hear Harry mumble.
Who is it?
‘’No really, you need to leave’’ he continues his voice sounding pretty angry.
‘’She won’t want to see you right now, go’’ he says his voice getting louder.
Seconds later Ricky comes storming into the room, oh that’s who it is.
‘’What the fuck is up with you? You’ve ignored me for days!’’ Ricky shouts at me.
This is the first time I’ve flinched at him, his anger isn’t even really anger it’s pretty pathetic. But right now I’m fragile and well this is upsetting me.
I feel a tear roll down my face.
‘’You need to leave’’ Harry snaps.
‘’Nothing to do with you mate’’
‘’Fuck off! I’m not your fucking mate and Emma really doesn’t need this right now’’ Harry shouts.
‘’I’m her boyfriend, not you! She’s been ignoring me, so I’ll deal with it however I want to’’ Ricky replies.
‘’You can’t go around ignoring me, and treating me like shit Emma! You’re such a fucking bitch, ignoring me, kicking me out because his mum shows up! You haven’t spoken to me in days and what you’ve been here with him?’’ He shouts at me.
I don’t reply instead tears just continue streaming down my face.
‘’You really are pathetic aren’t you, you’ve known her like two weeks and your obsessive acting like your special. You’re not at all!’’ Harry says glaring at Ricky.
Ricky ignores his comment and continues shouting at me.
‘’You’re fucked up! You’ve got some fake husband, get drunk in the middle of the day, fuck me off in the middle of dates to talk to his friends! Ignore me for days on end! Your so fucked up I don’t know why I’m even bothering with you’’ He screams.
‘’Neither do I’’ I mumble.
‘’What?’’
‘’I don’t fucking know either Ricky! You mean nothing to me! And clearly I mean nothing to you, you haven’t even stopped to think there might be a reason I haven’t spoken to you have you?’’ I say, I don’t scream or shout. I don’t need to the second I spoke everyone just shut up.
‘’Yeah you were probably fucking him’’ He laughs pointing towards Harry.
Harry stiffens a little he looks so angry like he’s about to punch him, his eyes meet mine and a shake my head a little. Getting him to calm down.
‘’No, he was here for me when I needed him. My grandma fucking died ok! I’m falling apart right now, and honestly I’ve been a mess for a while, way before we met’’ I tell him.
He blinks a couple of times before speaking ‘’ I could have been there for you. I’m sorry’’ he says whispering now.
‘’I didn’t want you’’ I mumble not sure if he heard me.
‘’Well now I don’t want you’’ he snaps turning to walk out, guessing he heard me then.
Harry follows him out ‘’ Stay away from her yeah? All you’ve done is hurt her’’ He tells Ricky.
‘’Seems like you’ve fucked up too’’ Ricky laughs.
‘’Yeah… hopefully I can fix it’’ Harry mumbles before slamming the door.
Harry slowly walks back into the living room running his hand through his hair.
I stand from the sofa slowly waking towards him.
I fall into his arms tears slowly running down my face.
‘’He’s gone now, he won’t come back’’ Harry tells me soothingly.
I pull back looking up into his eyes, I take my hand to his face pulling him towards me slightly as I press my lips against his.
The kiss isn’t long but it’s perfect.
I pull away resting my head against his.
‘’What was that?’’ He whispers so quietly it’s barely audible.
‘’ I don’t know… not yet anyways… I need time’’ I whisper moving slightly so my head rests against his chest.
‘’Of course baby’’ He whispers kissing my head.
********
‘’How you feeling about tomorrow’’ Harry asks his face looks worried he’s probably worried that he shouldn’t of asked me about it, tomorrow is grandmas funeral.
‘’Not good, I really don’t want to go Harry’’ I whisper trying my best to keep the tears from falling.
‘’I know baby, but you’d regret it if you didn’t. Your Dad need you there as well’’
‘’I’m sick of being strong for people Harry, I’m sick of holding it together for the sake of everyone else’’
‘’No one’s asking you to love, you cry if you want to cry or don’t. No one’s expecting anything from you’’ He says running a hand through my hair.
‘’Will you come with me?’’
‘’Of course I will’’
‘’You know I don’t just want you there because people expect you to be there right?’’ I ask.
Harry just shrugs in response.
‘’I want you there because I need you, because you mean a lot to me. In fact you mean everything to me’’ I say the last part becoming a whisper.
‘’I want to be there too, I want to be wherever you are, always’’ Harry tells me pulling me closer into his arms.
‘’Sleepy?’’ He asks
‘’Yeah’’ I reply turning to face away from him but making sure he’s still holding me.
Closing my tired eyes I try my best to not think about tomorrow, no matter how bad it is at least I’ll have Harry…
Authors note ----- Thank you so much for reading, I love you all.
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