New Year's Eve morning, I woke up and noticed I had awful dark circles under my eyes, so I tried to cover it with concealer but nothing could make me look better no matter how much I piled on my face. I went into the infirmary about my hand once my adrenaline had calmed down and told the nurse that I smashed my hand in a door (she clearly didn't believe me but didn't really question me) and luckily I hadn't broken anything, it was only bruised and would be fine within a couple weeks. I trudged to Professor Hemmings' classroom for a tutoring session that Headmistress Morris had insisted on and he was already sitting at his desk, probably preparing some shitty lesson for us to have the day we get back from our break.
"Good morning, Miss Williams," he smiled at me, and I tried to smile back but managed to not roll my eyes for once. It definitely was not a good morning but if that's what he wanted to believe then I wasn't going to be the one to spoil it for him. I didn't have the energy to make some sarcastic remark.
"How has your break been?" he asked me as I set my notebook and textbook on the desk, eyeing my wrapped up hand that I was trying to hide from him.
"Fine," I shrugged. "Yours?"
"It has been well," he said, sitting down next to me and flipping my book open to some practice lesson in the back that he never used in class but always used for these dumb tutoring sessions. I ripped out a piece of notebook paper to write on; this had become a regular routine for these tutoring sessions.
I tried to focus on the lesson and what he was trying to explain to me, but I had to reread things over and over again because I couldn't get the image out of my mind of Alex lip-locked with that bitch while I sat crying over him ignoring me all week. And the fact that he went so long without telling me, hiding it from me and pretending that nothing happened. I wondered how long he had actually been lying to me. He probably was lying about it being the only time, too. He was probably cheating on me for so long.
"He has distaste in the idea of the death penalty," I said, trying to sound like I understood the passage that I'd just read about 20 times but still had no idea what it said.
Professor Hemmings sighed, taking off his glasses and resting his hands against his face. I am hopeless. (Not that I cared that I was stressing him out.)
"Okay," he said. "Let's start with a shorter and more simple passage instead."
Thank god.
He turned a few more pages and I stared at the paragraph long passage that was in front of me. I could read this and interpret it with no problem.
The very first sentence of the paragraph talked about these trees and a forest and I immediately thought back to a time over the summer when Alex took me hiking through this wooded park and we jumped off a waterfall and went swimming, then took me for a drive through all these back roads on the way home, listening to some dumb Indie music that I wasn't actually into but seemed perfect at the time. The night ended in me going home to my parents to tell them I was home but as soon as I was in my bedroom, sneaking Alex through the window and making out, which led to other things that hurt to think about. He probably did those other things with that skanky bitch that was all over him at the Autumn Dance and then with the girl that he was making out with over that week that we weren't talking to each other.
I got through the end of the paragraph and realized I hadn't been paying attention to anything I was actually reading.
"Have you finished reading it?" Professor Hemmings asked me.
"Yes." I read it, but I didn't absorb any of it.
"Okay, what is the author comparing the tree to throughout the entire paragraph?" he asked.
"Um..." I put my hand on my forehead and tried to quickly skim over the paragraph in hopes of finding some bullshit answer that would work. "His first love?"
"Okay." He reached forward and shut the book, folding his hands on the table and sighing.
"I was right?" I asked, turning to him hopefully.
"Daisy, what's going on?" he asked.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, something is wrong," he said. "You are never this unfocused. Please tell me."
"It's none of your business," I snapped, but I burst into tears halfway through my sentence.
I dropped my head down onto the desk, my tears seeming to just pour out of my eyes. Why am I crying in front of Hemmings? This is the most pathetic thing I have ever done. I have officially hit rock bottom.
I felt a warm hand against my back, rubbing my shoulder as I folded my arms around my head, not allowing him to see me in such a vulnerable state. I was supposed to express my dominance over him and there I was crying all over my work like a little bitch.
"What happened, Daisy?" he asked me.
"Alex cheated on me," I sobbed against the paper that was now covered in my snot and tears, my voice probably completely muffled. I didn't even care anymore that I looked like a little wimp, it hurt too much for me to care.
He pulled me up so I was sitting up, reaching over to his desk and handing me a box of tissues. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose, explaining the whole situation to Hemmings, how I went to breakfast with Alex and the girl that was taunting him and how he admitted to making out with some other girl and even my theory about it not being the only time because he had been lying to me for that long then there was probably so much more that he was lying to me about.
"Daisy, you deserve so much better than that," he said quietly as I leaned against his shoulder and cried more, not caring how pathetic I seemed to him at all anymore. He held me against him as I cried, and for the first time I realized how nice he smelled, like a clean cologne but not too overpowering, and it made me even more sad because I hated him and he smelled nice too, he doesn't have the right to that.
Hemmings held me and even rocked me back and forth a little while I cried, calming me down a little in his tight embrace. I eventually stopped crying and closed my eyes, letting myself be comfortable with him for a few minutes, somehow knowing that after this we would probably be at each other's throats again.
"I don't expect you to finish the lesson today," he said quietly, letting me pull away from his embrace as I looked down at my tear-soiled paper.
I sighed, feeling exhausted even though it was hardly noon and stared at the nearly untouched work in front of me.
"I suggest you go spend some time with Eleanor for New Year's Eve and try to get Alex off of your mind," he said. "I know you two are very close and she would do well at putting you in a better mood."
I nodded, knowing he was right (for once). Eleanor was supposed to be back today, and I honestly couldn't wait to see her.
"You are excused," he said, standing and taking my paper to throw away as I put my books into my bag and thanked him quietly before leaving his classroom and heading back to my dorm.
I walked in and Eleanor was already in there, her face bright with a smile when she saw me but immediately fell when she saw I'd been crying.
"Daisy!" she said, running over to me. "Jesus Christ, what happened to you?! What happened to your hand?!"
I sat on my bed next to Eleanor and explained to her everything that happened, excluding what had just gone on during my tutoring session with Professor Hemmings. She listened carefully the entire time, hugging me and telling me it was going to be okay when I finished.
"What a fucking prick," she said, shaking her head as she stood and walked with me to the bathroom to help me clean my makeup-ruined face. "Here I was thinking he was a great guy and he was cheating on you!"
"Whatever," I said. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. I want to spend New Year's Eve with you and the girls and not make it about Alex."
"I understand," she said, nodding as she took a cotton ball and put some makeup remover on it and gently wiped my face with it. "When Eileen gets here I'll tell her to do your makeup for you and we're going to have a swell time tonight without He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."
"Voldemort?" I said, chuckling a little.
"Yes, exactly," she laughed with me, helping to make light of the situation and I was so grateful for that.
"You don't need him in your life anyways," she said. "You are perfectly fine without him."
I nodded, trying to tell myself the exact things she was telling me in her pep-talk. Before long, all of my makeup was gone and sure enough, Eleanor had me laughing again. Eileen and Blair showed up around noon and met with us for lunch, and Eileen immediately agreed to doing my makeup for New Year's Eve.
I let myself have a good time with the girls that night, trying to forget about Alex and focus on the future instead.
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A/N: I'm angry at Alex tbh
I made him so sweet in the beginning how could I lead everyone on like that
also, just to keep everyone in the loop I have changed the update schedule to every Thursday and Monday instead. I felt that once a week wasn't often enough and it was too big of a gap between Monday and Friday so I changed the update schedule, I hope that's ok!!
thank you so much for all the reads so far, it means so much <3!!
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