Chapter twenty nine.
(AN – PLEASE VOTE AND COMMENT)
HARRY’S POV:
I lay there just watching her, watching her chest rise and fall as she breaths softly in her sleep. It’s such a simple thing but it looks so beautiful.
She looks peaceful, happy and innocent.
All the things she isn’t, she’s loud that’s for sure constantly speaking her mind and trying to do things her way. She’s not happy I know she isn’t, I wish she was but I don’t know how to help her. She’s not innocent either some of the things she’s done prove that for certain and I probably don’t even know half the things she’s done either.
Yesterday was pretty messed up, I messed it up.
Emma was sick and I took care of her that was the nice part. The part where I did what I should do, not because I’m her husband or her boyfriend because that’s not what I am. I should have done it because I’m her friend, friends are there for each other and take care of each other.
Just because we sleep together doesn’t mean all my duties as a friend go flying out of the window.
But then I had to go and fuck it all up, like I always do.
I left to go shopping with the intention of pleasing Emma bringing her back take out and snacks to make her feel better.
Emma being the annoying presumptuous person she is came up with her own theory and though I’d just fucked off and left her, when that wasn’t the case at all. I was being nice.
Seeing Emma mad at me really pissed be off because I was trying to be good to her, I didn’t deserve her anger.
So of course I kicked off at her too and I said some things I probably shouldn’t, just like I did a few days ago I hurt her feeling again.
This time I was different she didn’t seem hurt instead she just kissed me, the kiss was full of anger it wasn’t a kiss of passion just pure anger. But I loved it.
Then I made things all about her, I pleased her. She fucking loved it, hearing her scream it was like the most perfect sound ever.
After when she fell asleep smiling, clearly happy I just lay there feeling like a dick and hating myself for how I acted.
You see Emma’s damaged, there’s no need to tiptoe around that, she is.
All I did yesterday was break her even more without her even knowing it, she doesn’t need this. She needs emotions which is something I just can’t give her.
All I give her is sex and fun, which of course is great for me and she’s enjoying it too.
But Emma doesn’t need this, all this will do is break her more so, she needs love and care she needs fixing. I can’t give her this because I don’t do feelings, feelings will just fuck me up.
With Emma it’s the opposite no feelings will fuck her up.
‘’Harry’’ Emma mumbles sleepily sitting up.
‘’Morning’’
Emma leans in a plants a kiss on my lips.
I pull away a few seconds later ‘’ feeling better?’’ I ask.
‘’Yeah much better’’ she beams.
‘’Well I’m going to shower’’ I announce slipping out of bed, I need to get away from her right now and figure out what I’m meant to do.
EMMA’S POV:
Almost as soon as I wake up Harry leaves to go shower, so I get up deciding I’ll cook us breakfast for once.
Climbing out of bed I search around for something to wear, I pick up Harrys t-shirt from the floor pulling it over my head and grabbing a pair of my panties from the draw.
As I walk to the kitchen I pull my hair up into a messy bun to keep it off my face, my hairs long and messy so unless I’ve styled it right it falls across my face.
Hunting through the cupboards I can’t seem to find anything I can actually cook. I can’t cook a proper breakfast like Harry makes I’d probably end up giving us food poisoning.
Eventually I find a box of pop tarts, prefect. Setting the on the counter I put the kettle on to make us some coffee as well.
Once I hear the shower turn off I put the pop tarts in the toaster so they will be ready just in time.
I pour the coffee as well and then find plates for us.
‘’What’s this your cooking?’’ Harry asks chuckling.
‘’Yep’’
The pop tarts are easy so I put the on plates and sit down with Harry.
‘’Ooh five star meal we’ve got here’’ he teases.
‘’shut up it’s the best I can do’’ I say punching him playfully.
‘’Well these are the best pop tarts I’ve ever tasted he says kissing my nose softly.
Harry’s so confusing it like yesterday we were all about anger and force and now he’s being all soft and gentle. Talk about head fuck.
Harry seems a little zoned out he’s just staring down at his plate a confused look painted across his face.
‘’Harry? What’s up?’’ I ask but I don’t get a reply.
HARRY’S POV:
Emma is just being perfect as usual cooking for me, well can you call a pop tart cooking? It’s the thought that counts I suppose.
I’m still not sure what I’m meant to do, I thought about it the whole time I was in the shower but I still don’t have a solution.
This is the kind of thing I need Louis for…
‘’Harry? Harry?’’ Emma says waving her hands in front of my face.
‘’Sorry what?’’
‘’I’ve been trying to get your attention for ages’’ she says throwing her head back in laughter, she looks so cute like this.
‘’Sorry was thinking’’ I mumble taking a sip of my coffee.
‘’ Yeah I could tell, are you okay? You look a bit confused’’ Emma says smiling.
‘’Umm yeah, I have to go meet Louis though I forgot until just now’’ I say standing up from the bar stool.
‘’Oh ok well I’ll just stay here, I’ll see you later I guess’’ Emma says looking a bit hurt, seeing her like this breaks me but if I don’t sort something out I’ll be the one breaking her.
I exit the flat quickly and dial Louis number.
‘’Harry’’ He answers instantly.
‘’Yeah hi’’ I mumble.
‘’What’s up?’’
‘’Can you come meet me now at the Starbucks right near mine?’’ I ask hopefully.
‘’Sure, I’ll be there in five’’ He say cheerily before hanging up.
I soon arrive at Starbucks and order us both drinks and get a table.
‘’Harry’’ Louis screeches catching my attention along with everyone else in the shop, they all glare at us. Honestly I can’t blame them it’s early in the morning and Louis is screaming.
‘’What’s the matter? You seem upset’’ he asks sitting down.
‘’Well… umm… I don’t know what to do about Emma. I know this is what I want and she says she wants this too but this isn’t what she needs. There’s stuff you don’t know about Emma, no one does I’m the only person she’s told and well she needs someone to love and care for her and that can’t be me Lou. As much as I want it to be it can’t’’ I say looking down at the table.
‘’It could be’’ Louis say quietly.
I look up at him confused.
‘’ You always say relationships aren’t your thing but honestly you’ve never tried one’’
‘’And I never will, they fuck things up. People just get hurt’’ I reply.
‘’So why does Emma need one?’’ He asks.
‘’She’s different to me’’
‘’No she isn’t, how can’t you see it. Clearly you both have a past that people don’t know about. I know yours but no one else does. Emma knows yours. You both say you want things when really you want and need this relationship, you’re afraid of getting hurt but this is hurting you more’’
Is Louis right? No he can’t be, relationships aren’t my thing.
What does he know, yeah he knows my secrets but that doesn’t mean he knows what I need.
I need no ties, freedom and someone to fuck. It’s simple really.
Emma needs care, attention, love and someone to stick with her.
All of those things seem horrible to me, I couldn’t stand to be with one person forever.
‘’I can’t do that Lou, I need to end this with Emma’’ I tell him.
‘’How? You live together, you have to see each other every day’’ Louis says.
Well duh! Thanks for the brilliant advice Louis, I already know how fucking complicated it is.
‘’ Maybe just tell her that it’s gone on too long for you, I don’t know’’ he shrugs.
‘’Whatever you say, she’s going to be upset. This won’t end well, I warned Emma about this. I knew it would happen’’ He continues.
I finish my drink and stand up.
‘’I better get back and sort out this mess’’ I say to Louis.
‘’Ok good luck I guess’’ He says hugging me.
‘’You should probably be waiting for a call, Emma’s bound to ring you because you’re the only one who knows about us’’ I tell him before leaving.
He nods.
‘’Oh and Lou, take her side be there for her. She needs you, I don’t I’m not the one getting hurt’’ I say finally walking away.
EMMA’S POV:
I haven’t done much since Harry left, I cleaned the house a little and watched tv.
Hearing the door open I switch off the TV.
‘’Hey’’ I call out.
‘’Hi’’ Harry reply walking towards me.
‘’We need to talk’’ he mumbles running his hand through his hair.
He does this when he’s nervous, wait! Something bad is going to happen isn’t it?
‘’Ok’’ I say uncertainly.
‘’Well… this isn’t easy but well this needs to stop Em. I can’t be with one person for this long, I’m not comfortable with it’’ He mumbles.
What? He’s ending it? I thought we were doing this until the marriage was over.
‘’Can’t you just see other people too?’’ I ask I probably sound desperate but I am. I need him.
‘’No Em, we’re done’’ He says before walking away.
Authors note ------ thank you all so much for reading, I love you all.
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