Ryder's POV
After explaining the depth of my adoration of Romeo and Juliet to Harry on the phone last night, along with why I chose photography to be part of my major, I noticed that we both have similar thoughts.
We both agree that Romeo and Juliet is the most beautiful yet tragic love story ever told, which is what everyone else in the world also thinks; along with the idea that it's also the most cliché. However, Harry and I don't see it that way.
Others see that Romeo is just a boy with raging hormones that fell in love with a beautiful girl until he saw a better looking one. What Harry and I think is different. We look past all of that, we see the pain and running they had to deal with by the hatred between two families. We see that they wanted their love to be as real as anyone else's despite only knowing each other for a brief time because that is what love is. Love is fighting against everything, sacrificing things for one another no matter the odds.
I twirl my pen in my hand, gazing down at my textbook with Harry sitting across from me at the wooden table in the large, quiet campus library. My eyes move upward fixating on Harry, who was scowling in concentration flipping through a textbook.
"Hey, Harry?" I mutter.
"Hmm." He hums in reply, flicking his green eyes up to me.
"When we were talking last night," I began. "You spoke as if you knew what it's like." I pause. "Have you ever been so in love with someone that you had to run?"
Harry's face falls a little, his eyes moving down to the table and it makes me realize that I have overstepped but he relieves my anxiety by speaking.
"Um, no. Not technically." He says shaking his head. "It just didn't...end well."
Harry's POV
"But it's been a few years so," I shrug. "I'm over it." I lie, giving her a small smile.
"No you're not." She says shaking her head. I frown, removing my gaze from the textbook in my hand.
"Why do you say that?" I ask, perplexed.
"Because I can tell, when you spoke it's like you were trailing off somewhere."
"I just don't like rehashing the subject." I shrug. Ryder narrows her eyes at me.
"Don't blame yourself for it. I'm pretty sure it wasn't your fault."
"How can you say that? You don't know me." I say, sounding a bit defensive and I think my sudden change in tone might make her sink back in her chair and close the subject but I'm proven wrong.
"I may not know every detail about you but I can tell you're not a bad man." She shakes her head. "You're just a man that has had bad things happen to."
I blink at her.
Suddenly, it's like her soft warm brown eyes can see right through me. It's like Ryder can see every secret that I have tried so hard to conceal and strangely it doesn't scare me like it should. But the fact that it doesn't worry me...does scare me.
"Right, well, I'm going to go look for another textbook." I mutter closing the one that I was reading setting it aside before standing up from my chair. "I'll be right back."
Ryder's POV
I bite my lower lip, seeing Harry turning around walking away from me before stepping into an isle of book shelves.
Great Ryder, now you made him upset.
My determination to go and apologize to Harry was quickly put to the side when my eyes shifted to the entrance of the library seeing Evan striding in wearing his usual dark attire.
Normally, Evan being here would come as such a sweet surprise but not today.
"Hey baby, I've been looking for you everywhere." He smiles coming to a stand beside me.
"Funny, I've been avoiding you everywhere." I reply, glancing down at my notebook. "Now, leave me alone I'm busy."
Harry's POV
I felt an unsettling feeling in the deep part of my stomach by Ryder's statement and it wasn't because I was mad that she had asked such a question. It's the fact that for some reason she sees good in me even though she has no idea who I am or what I was; not that I want her to know who I am.
What is even odder is that a very small part of me secretly hopes for that if Ryder knew who I was she would still think the same way about me, regardless of the darkness of my past, but deep down I also know that it's pointless to believe that it could happen.
I shake my head, finally picking up the textbook I was eyeing on the shelf after a few minutes of just standing around trying to clear my head. Holding the book in my hand, I walk out the same way I came and just when I was about to walk out of the isle, I glance up seeing Ryder still sitting at our table. I frown as my eyes divert to the person next to her.
Her so called ass of a fucking boyfriend.
I scowl, as brief flashes of the vulgar things that were said to her at the restaurant comes back to mind. I continue to watch intently as Ryder speaks to him clearly shaking her head, refusing to do something. I swallow, my eyes taking in her demeanor noticing that she is sitting all the way back in her chair rather than leaning away from the back rest, hovering over the table, like she was before. In her hands Ryder held one of her textbooks, her small fingers nervously clutching around the sides while her lilac painted nails picked at the sharp edges of its pages.
I have to step in.
I glance down at the small book in my hand, a slow smirk tugging on the right side of my lips as an idea quickly came to mind.
These are the moments I do not regret all of the years I had to think on the spot.
Determinedly, I turn back around randomly setting the book down on the shelf before quickly making my way to the door; exiting the library. After running my hand through my hair and adjusting my jacket on my shoulders I take in a deep breath opening one of the double doors, walking back inside.
Ryder's POV
"Come on, love. You still cannot be mad at me." Evan whines, towering over me. I ignore him glancing down at my book.
"I'm sorry okay?" Evan says leaning down trying to get into my field of vision. I scowl jerking my head back, looking up at him disapprovingly. "I was drunk and I-"
"Hello love." I hear Harry's voice interject diverting my eyes up to him, seeing him making his way towards us. I blink, slightly confused, noticing that the direction he was walking from came from the entrance rather than the isle of book shelves where he went off to before.
"Are you ready to go?" Harry asks with a smile, coming to a stand beside me opposite of Evan.
I shake my head. "I-"
"Who the fuck are you?" Evan interrupts, glaring at Harry.
"Oh, I'm Harry Styles." He replies, extending his hand out to shake Evan's.
"I'm also the guy that almost kicked your drunk ass the other day at the restaurant." Harry adds coolly with a smirk releasing Evan's hand, practically making my mouth drop open.
What? Why is he saying that?
A scowl slowly starts to form on Evan's face with Harry's words.
"If you don't remember I'd be glad to give you a demonstration." Harry continues, proudly.
I watch him completely at a loss by his sudden change in mood. I'm glad Harry stepped in, Evan was taking no for an answer but I'm confused as to why he would want to pick a fight.
Had I been wrong about him? Am I being to lenient on giving him the benefit of the doubt? Cause Harry did have a point, there are many things I don't know.
"Excuse me?" Evan scoffs.
"You're excused." Harry nods before turning his attention back onto me. "Now let's go Ry, we don't want to be late for our dinner reservations."
I nod standing up from my chair going along with whatever he is doing.
I just want to get away from Evan.
"Wait a minute!" Evan says, reaching over grabbing my wrist, as I was about to step away from the table, pulling me to his side. I wince.
"Who the fuck are you to be taking my girlfriend from me?" Evan scowls.
"The same guy who will have you knocked out on the floor if you don't let her go." Harry threatens, taking a step closer. I swallow my eyes widening at Harry's notion,feeling my heart starting to beat anxiously in my chest.
"Evan just let me go. I have studying to do." I mutter. "We can talk-"
"Shut up." He orders in a quiet yet hard tone.
"Now, who do you think you are that you can order me around?" Evan challenges, tilting his head to the side. Harry narrows his eyes clenching his jaw.
No, please. Not here at the library too.
I bit my lip nervously turning my head spotting a few students looking our way. Luckily, the librarian is on the other side of the room because the last thing I need is to be sent to the headmaster's office for being involved in a silly yet prejudice altercation before I finish school or, even worse, get kicked out.
"Really, again? Do you have Alzheimers? Or are you just stupid?" Harry hisses. "I'm her friend."
"Yeah? Well I'm the boyfriend." Evan smirks letting my wrist go before placing his arm around my shoulders pulling me into his side. "I think I have better rights to her than you."
"Ryder, isn't some real estate property. You don't own her." Harry snaps, his lips pressing into a firm line. "I'm sick of bastards like you thinking they can boss women around. I swear to God if you don't let her go-"
"Evan please." I whine, interrupting Harry's anger filled threat, shoving Evan away. "Leave me alone. I don't want to be around you right now. "
"Ryder wait." Evan says as I take a step to grab my stuff from the table. Evan tries to reach for me me again but I pull my hand away as Harry takes a step glowering at him.
I frown, grabbing my textbooks off the table an awkward silence stretching between us. I clutch my textbooks against my chest before shrugging my bag over my shoulder.
"Let's go." Harry says turning around to face me. I nod turning around to walk around the table with Harry at a very close proximity behind me.
"Ryder wait," Evan says meeting me at the end of the table, making me stop in my tracks. "Would you just-"
Harry interrupts him by stepping between us, not allowing Evan to step closer to me. Silently and unexpectedly Harry captures my hand in his, gently giving it a tug gesturing me to follow him leaving Evan behind.
Both of us walk down the sidewalk towards Harry's car that was parked towards the left side of the library. Normally the parking spaces were full, but tonight there were only a few cars occupying it's spaces.
I bit my lips together not sure what to say, my brain still trying to fathom what just happened.
Harry walks a few spaces ahead of me, now that he released my hand; his stance was still stiff and authoritative. His pace was a bit faster than usual, each step held a small force, determined to get away as soon as possible as the heels of his boots clicked against the rough pavement.
"Here, get in." Harry orders to me gently, his voice still thick but trying hard to not show it's aggressiveness towards me.
Taking out his car keys from his right side jacket pocket, Harry presses a button making his car beep once before roaring to life. He steps, grasping the handle, opening the passenger door for me while tilting his head gesturing me to get in. I do without saying anything not wanting to upset him even more.
I've never seen him this upset and I have no idea what to do or understand why Harry is so angry. I mean he was fine before. Yes, Evan is a jerk but it seems as if his anger is also towards something else.
"Where are we going?" I bravely mutter, once Harry pulled onto the evening road, stealing a glance over to him.
"Away from here." He replies, his eyes fixed on the road, his brows still furrowed. "Now be quiet." He adds, gripping tightly into the steering wheel.
After driving for about twenty more minutes Harry makes a stop outside of a small cozy restaurant. I have spent almost my whole life in Manchester and I have never been to Mark & Molly's.
"Here are your menus." The hostess mutters, placing a menu in front of us once we sat down at the round table. "I'll have someone come over in a few minutes to take your order."
"Thank you." Harry nods to her before she swiftly turned around leaving us alone.
There was still an awkward tension swirling around us and I have not spoken since I asked him where we were going back in the car. I bit my lip, trying to suppress the tension from my mind picking up the menu off the table with both of my hands. Opening the menu, my eyes start to scan the list of meals that were typed out in swirly black ink contrasting to the white thick paper inside the dark red folder.
"Ryder, I'm sorry." Harry mutters with a small sigh, breaking our silence. My eyes flicker up at him at the sound of his voice, viewing him over the top of my menu.
"I'm sorry for my rude answer and I'm sorry for the way I acted. I should have let you make your own decision on speaking with him or not." Harry continues with a frown. " I'm sorry."
I shrug. "It's okay. I was actually relieved that you stepped in." I admit placing my menu down on the table. "But why did you get so upset all of a sudden?"
Harry's eyes briefly look down onto the table before meeting mine. "Well I-"
"Good evening." A male voice interrupts making both of us turns our heads seeing a brunette boy, dressed in all black holding a notepad and pen in his hands.
"My name is Zac, I'll be your waiter this evening. What would you like to order?" He asks with a small smile looking back and forth between us.
"O-oh um.." I stutter, flustered, my eyes focusing back in the menu quickly scanning for anything good and not so expensive.
"Actually could you give us a bit more time please?" Harry asks to my dismay.
"Of course." Zac nods. "Anything to drink?"
"A sweet tea for me." Harry replies before his soft green eyes focus on me.
"Um, a Diet Coke please." I blush still feeling a bit embarrassed, picking the first thing that popped into my head.
"Okay, I'll bring your drinks in a minute." Zac says before excusing himself.
"You know you can pick anything you like right?" Harry says with a small chuckle as my eyes still roam the menu trying to make a decision. I look up smiling shyly at him.
"So back to what we were discussing, you haven't answered my question." I point out after we finally ordered what we wanted to eat.
"Right." Harry nods, placing his hands on the table lacing his fingers together. "I just didn't like the way he treats you." He shrugs.
"Being with who I am, I have had to deal with a lot of people like him, some worse than others." Harry explains. "I've seen many things... It just ticked me off. I'm sorry for overstepping."
"You have nothing to apologize for." I shake my head. "It's just that..." I sigh. "Even though I know it's highly impossible, there is a small part of me that hopes that he would somehow change."
"Thank you for dinner, even though I wasn't aware we had reservations." I smile over at Harry as he drove us back to my apartment.
Harry smiles. "We didn't, but I figured it would be the best way to apologize for my behavior. Besides, I couldn't take you home knowing you haven't eaten."
"You know I honestly feel like you are nicer to be than I deserve."
"Why do you say that?" He frowns, turning on the turn signal before turning into the street where my apartment was located.
"Because you have helped me countless times and I have not even returned the favor."
"I can assure you that your company is enough of a payment." He reassures slowly pulling up to the apartment, swiftly parking along the sidewalk.
Harry's POV
I unlock the door stepping into the house shutting the door behind me, quickly wanting to head upstairs to my room before I loose my train of thought.
"Hey Harry." Gemma greets as I walk through the living room towards the stairs. "How did it go?"
"Fine." I answer, not stealing a glance at her as I step onto the staircase. "We just went to the library that's all."
"Okay, well dinner will be ready soon in case-"
"Not hungry, thanks." I say dismissing our conversation quickly jogging up the stairs.
Stepping into my bedroom, I close the door behind me flicking on the lights. Crossing the room, I quickly shrug off my my jacket tossing it on on the bed heading over to my bag on the chair in the corner of the room. Zipping the bag open, I dig through before my eyes meet the leather bound journal. I grasp it in my hand along with a black pen, moving over to the bed sitting on the edge, my fingers quickly flipping to the next available blank page.
Taking in a breath, I firmly grasp the pen in my hand before starting to write.
Dear Journal,
It's been a while since I have written. Wait let me rephrase, it's been a while since I have written that my context will not involve her. Instead, like my previous entry from the one I made on the rainy night at the train station; I will mention a girl named Ryder.
I know I usually don't write, I haven't had inspiration to. The night at the train station I only wrote, not because she gave me inspiration but, because for some reason I found our encounter interesting. Which is why I am writing right now.
Ryder's confession down at the restaurant got me thinking. Her confession of hoping for her stupid boyfriend to change tugged at my heart strings. It truly sickens me that a lovely girl like her, in love with the idea of love, ends up being with someone like him. I mean I'm no angel, heaven knows that, but at least I would never do what he does.
It honestly pisses me off. Ryder is just so sweet, fragile and pure... She thinks I'm annoyed by all of the times I have helped her out but honestly I do not mind.
Down at the library Ryder also made a statement about me and her words terrified me. The way she was looking at me and the honesty that her words held... it was like for one split moment all my walls came crumbling down. For a moment, I felt vulnerable and a bit scared because that has never happened before but at the same time it didn't worry me. Talking to her didn't worry me.
However, I hope to God she never sees the dark taints of my past because then she will see that I am a sad excuse of a man.
I still can't tell if all of this is good or bad but what I can tell is that she needs someone, someone who cares and I'm going to be that someone. Regardless of my own demons I'm going to try my hardest to push them away and be there for her so she can concur her own. I may known her for only a brief time but I told her if she needs me, I'll help her and I'm going to keep my promise.
My thoughts and writing where interrupted by a soft knock on my bedroom door. I glance up as the door clicked open seeing Gemma slowly peeking her head inside.
"Hey, sorry to interrupt." She mutters pushing the door open wider stepping inside.
"Oh, you're writing again?" She smiles, her eyes glancing down at the journal on my lap, gesturing towards it with her hand. I shrug, closing the journal keeping my eyes on her.
"What did you need?"
"Oh right, um... I just forgot to let you know that James called." She explains. "He wanted to see how you were doing and I told him you were out. He said to just call him when you can."
"Okay, thank you." I nod. Gemma purses her lips together before turning around grabbing the door knob.
"Are you sure you don't want to eat dinner?" She asks, looking at me quizzically.
"I'm sure, just not hungry." I lie.
I already had dinner with Ryder but if Gemma knew that she would go crazy on me and I am in no mood for her curiosity.
"Okay well I'm going to bed. Night H."
"Night." I reply giving her a smile.
Ryder's POV
"So did you have fun?" Katie asks, from the couch dressed in our pajamas deciding to watch the home videos that Shawn brought over.
I swore I wouldn't watch them but curiosity got the best of me.
"I mean as much fun as the average person can have while studying I suppose." I shrug, placing the disc into the DVD player before standing up walking over to the couch.
Katie hums in response. "How the hell are your legs not cold?" She asks.
I frown, glancing down at my legs, I was only wearing a pair of grey panties and a black shirt that stopped right at my waist.
I shrug. "I don't know. You know me, I hardly wear pajama pants."
Our focus was taken away from each other when voices started to sound through the speaker system. I watch intently as the screen came to life on me as a little girl standing on the edge of the ice skating ring.
"Love you won't learn unless you let go." My dad says behind the camera, placing his hand on my shoulder.
"No, don't touch me!" I gasp, clutching my arms against the wall. My dad let's out a small laugh.
"I thought you wanted to skate with your friends?"
"No." I shake my head, scowling up at him. My dad sighs.
"It'll be fun darling. Just let go, I'm right here if you fall." My dad says reaching over trying to pry my grip from the wall.
"No!" I squeal, tightening my grip.
"Come on, Melody." My dad complains making my heart drop.
Melody. It's been many years since he has called me that.
"Why did your dad call you Melody?" Katie asks beside me.
"Because he used to sing me to sleep every night and I would always sing along with him." I shrug.
"Come on, Emilia." A voice mutters but it wasn't my dad.
My eyes focus back on the screen seeing a little boy standing next to me dressed in a thick black coat and a grey hat over his head covering his ears. He looks a bit older than me and I try to rack my brain to remember who it was but I can't but I think he was our neighbors youngest son.
"No, I'll fall." I frown.
"I'll help you." He smiles reaching over with his gloved hand prying one of mine off the wall. "It'll be okay."
I glance up at my dad, my anxious face showing directly on the screen.
"Go on love." My dad encourages.
Slowly, I release my grip off the wall, reaching over grabbing both hands that belong to the little boy.
"It's not so hard." The little boy says, slowly tugging me into the ice.
A soft knock came from the door, removing my attention from the video making my heart stop.
God, please don't let it be Evan.
I stand as Katie presses pause on the video. I walk over to the door as another knock sounded.
"I'm coming!" I say jogging over before unlocking the deadbolt opening the door.
"Hey, Ryder." Katie says but I ignore her.
"Harry?" I say blinking at him. "Is everything okay?"
Why would he be here so late?
"Hey, no I'm okay." He nods. "I just came-" Harry stops before quickly diverting his eyes away from me, clearing his throat.
"What?" I frown glancing down and gasp realizing I was half dressed.
"Oh God." I breath closing the door, feeling the blood quickly rush to my cheeks. I swallow, leaning my back against the door, horrified.
This can't be happening.
Katie laughs. "I tried to tell you."
"Shut up!" I say leaning away from the door. "Will you please just let him in while I get dressed." I add quickly rushing over to my bedroom.
Flustered, I fumble over to my dresser opening the top drawer digging for my grey pajama shorts. Once I find them I quickly slip my legs through before parting my way back to the living room.
Harry stood by the couch with his hands in his jacket pockets and to ease my embarrassment I distract myself by taking in his wardrobe. He was dressed in black skinny jeans, with a loose dark grey sweatshirt underneath his brown jacket. His curls were pushed off his forehead in a messy way that gives me the inclination that he has been running his hands through it various times like he usually does.
"Hey, sorry about that..." I trail, blushing up at Harry. My eyes quickly glance the room seeing that Katie is nowhere to be found.
"It's alright." He chuckles.
"So what did you need?" I ask, pushing my hair behind my ears.
"No nothing um..." He says taking his hands out of his jacket pockets before pulling something out of his back pocket. "You left your phone in my car." He says, extending his hand out towards me.
"Oh." I blink, reaching over taking my phone from him. "Sorry, I guess I've gotten used to not having one."
"I went to go put gas in my car and it started ringing non stop in my passenger seat. " Harry explains. "So I figured I'd stop by and give it to you just in case it was something important."
"Well thank you." I smile.
"You know I feel like those are the only words that I say to you." I giggle making him smile.
He shrugs." It's alright. Well, I better get going."
"Okay. I'll walk you out."
Harry nods turning around as Katie stepped out from the kitchen.
"See you later, Katie." He smiles at her before walking over to the door.
"Come over anytime." She replies politely making my mentally roll my eyes.
"Talk to you later, Ryder." Harry smiles as I open the door.
"Bye." I say as he steps out closing the door before locking it.
After Katie and I finished watching the home video we both headed off to bed. I lay back down in the mattress unlocking my phone seeing various missed calls from Shawn.
Shit.
I tab on my recent calls pressing Shawn's number before raising my phone up to to my ear. I stare at the ceiling waiting for him to answer.
"Ryder." Shawn answers, his voice hard and I know in trouble.
"Hey, Shawney," I trail, biting in my lower lip.
"Don't you Shawney me. Where were you? Why didn't you answer my calls?" He demands.
I roll my eyes. "I'm studying for finals Shawn, you know that. I can't waste time answering your call."
"Well you should at least texted me. I was getting worried."
"Calm down, Shawn." I sigh. "I was with Harry at the library then we went to dinner then he drove me home that's all. I left my phone in his car and Harry just came over about half an hour ago to drop if off."
"Oh okay. I'm sorry." Shawn says in an apologetic tone.
"It's okay." I smile."I'm sorry I worried you."
"So you two went to dinner?" He asks, in disbelief.
"Yes, we went to go eat. He is human too you know?"
"I know that, stupid." Shawn grumbles and I can practically visual him rolling his eyes. "I just meant you two went out together."
"Shawn please, don't make it a big deal." I complain. "It's getting late. I'm tired. Talk to you later okay?"
"Okay Ryder. Goodnight, love you."
"Love you too." I say hanging up the phone.
Author's Note
Hello loves? How are you? Do feel free to tell me in the comments I would like to know about your day.
I'm sorry I have not updated but it is kind of hard when I spend most of my days at work. I have written this a while ago but I kept changing it around because I felt like it wasn't right. I hope you liked this update and it was worth the wait.
I'm so expected to get the story going. I have also taken a while to updated because I was planning out the plot so I don't have to worry about it later. I was just planning the major events so as for right now all I have to do is actually write them.
What do you think of the story so far? What do you think of Harry's and Ryder's character? I did have a few people say that this story was a bit too depressing and annoying with all the POV changes so I would appreciate it if you could all tell me what I can do to change it and make it better for you :) Love you all so much darling!
Ah! I can't believe I have 5k reads in this story already, especially since nothing too major had happened! Also I can't believe 1.06k of you guys are following me, that is crazy! Ugh, I love you all so much!
Also, I would really appreciate it if you guys could leave me song suggestions down below. The songs can be for a specific character or previous chapter or it can even be your favorite song at the moment :) In fact, tell me your favorite song at the moment and also tell me what is the song that you think of when you think of this story :)
Love you! Xoxoxooxoxxo