Harry
"Stop!"
Her voice radiates through the whole room in the early hours of the morning startling me awake. I lean over and look down at the once peaceful sleeper next to me. Her skin is glistening with sweat, shaking uncontrollably.
"Please don't!"
She yells again, crying in her sleep. The sound of her cries rip through me like sledgehammer aimed right to my gut. It is honestly the worst sound I've ever heard and I feel utterly helpless as I hear her yell again.
"Dad! No!"
I sit up with a jolt at her words. Did I really hear her right? I couldn't bare to think of what that might mean now, feeling her words in my entire body, anger and terror for this beautiful girl next to me. This demon of hers is tormenting her and I can't do anything to help her.
Leaning over to her I try to pull her close against me, wrapping my arms around her torso, trying but failing to still her. She's nearly unbelievably strong in her sleep, fighting against my embrace, trying to throw her arms against me.
"Please, no!" She begs once again, her eyes still screwed shut trying to turn her body around against my embrace.
"Emma, it's ok" I plead with her, pressing my palms down into her shoulders trying to gently force her against the mattress to calm her down, hovering over her.
"Em...Emma wake up. Please" I am pleading with her knowing she still can't hear a single word I'm saying. This is too much. No matter how hard I try to wake her up, shaking her her shoulders, trying to coax her awake, her once heartbreaking screams now just a loud whimper.
"Emma...baby, please!" I nearly yell at her, reaching the end of my rope. I know it is probably not the best tactic with a sleeping girl having a terrifying nightmare but I can't keep putting her through this. Luckily my less than gentle move seems to have worked. She begins to still as if she can hear, slowly coming from her terrified sleep. Her breathing begins to steady,
"Em open your eyes" I whisper, hovering over her.
Slowly, warily her eyes open and stare up at me. It is only now, with her big blue eyes staring up at me that I finally notice that I have positioned myself on top of her, straddling her waist, one of my knees on either side of her hips, ankles tucked over her legs and my hands pressed down against her shoulders.
It's like we realize our position at the same moment, my body begins to tense and the calm that once covered her face being replaced with earth shattering fear. This breaks my heart.
"Get off of me" she says steadily, after taking a deep breath.
I am shocked by her reaction. After what she had just gone through. She is honestly the strongest person I know. I don't know the specifics but it's obvious that something has happened and with her dad no less. My mind goes wild with thoughts of what could have happened. I feel nauseous just at the thought but I can't think about the possibility, she's scared here and now and I need to try and fix her.
"What was that?" not moving from position on top of her, hands pressing down on her shoulders, only realizing that I am trying to coax her to answer me until after I've done it.
She's scared, it is written all over her face but is it from her nightmare or from me, please don't let it be me.
"Harry get off" my fears realized by her less than calm but breathless request, fear spreading across her face, the normal wonder in her eyes fading. When I don't move right away she begins to shiver and shift beneath me. I scramble off of her as she retreats off the bed quickly to her window never taking her eyes off me.
"Em, I'm sorry" reaching my arm to her but not moving from my position on her bed.
She takes a moment, sitting down on her window seat and pulling her knees against her chest before she answers.
"It's fine, just forget about it" now staring down to the floor.
"Emma what was that? What were you drea–"
"It was nothing, honestly."
"Don't try and pull that bullshit on me Em!"
"Haz it's not bullshit! I don't–"
"On come on, you were thrashing around like you were being attacked or something"
"Oh stop it wasn't that bad. Anyway what would you call being on top of me? That's the real question here" she tries to derail this argument away from her but I am not having it.
"No Emma, don't try and turn it around on me, what was your dream?"
"Why were you on top of me?" Her voice fearful but still steady and sturn, not looking up into my eyes.
"Because you were shaking and screaming your head off. I was scared you might hurt yourself or something. I didn't know how to stop you. Honestly I didn't even realize the position we... um I was in until you were calmed down."
She seems to calm down and take my words. I just need one hint, one glimpse into what she is thinking, what the terrified her so much, what the ghosts behind her eyes are so I can make it ok. We sit in silence, a whole room away from each other for too long. I can't take it any more striding over to her taking a seat by the window next to where she is is still clutching her knees tight against her chest.
"Em" my voice gentle as I hold her cheeks "come on, you can tell me, it's ok?"
I tilt her face to look at me. Her eyes are soft on mine as I feel her lean into my hands as if she is gonna let go and tell me everything. Please, please tell me, help me understand I say to myself. I knew she had a rough time after I was gone. Her dad was always drunk and her mother didn't know how to defend herself so it all fell on Emma, my Emma.
Her eyes stare into the two of mine, looking from one to the other. She debating with herself, I know it, pulled between two extremes–telling me her dream and pushing it aside like she always does and staying quiet. The weight of whatever she is holding onto is evident in her face and her tense shoulders. Tears forming in her beautiful blue eyes. It's all too much. The emotion in the air between us is palpable as I shift my gaze down to lips, longing for them, for her.
I hold her face more forcefully and lean into her ever so slowly. Just a few moments ago I couldn't have imagined that I would be in this situation, that moment before the kiss when the butterflies are fluttering in the pit of my stomach and my breathing uneven. All I want is to press my lips to her's but suddenly her breath hitches before I can follow through and her once soft face turns cold and hard, her brows furrowed as she now stares at my face.
"Stop" she nearly begs me, breathless.
"Em–"
"You think you can come here and try to kiss me? Who the hell do you think I am to you?" She suddenly stands pushing me back away from her. "I'm not one of your girls who needs you to protect them"
"Emma that's not what I was doing I just want to help you–"
"Just go harry" she tries to interrupt, I'm not having that.
"I know you are keeping something from me that you are struggling–"
"Harry there's nothing–"
"Obviously there's something and I can't stand the idea of you dealing with whatever this is alone."
"I have nothing to tell you" suddenly taking my shoulders and pushing me.
"Emma come on I'm here for you" she pushes me toward the door
"Harry why would I tell you?" Why? Because i'm here for you! I want to yell at her but know I need to take a less hostile approach.
"Because you're my closest friend and I would do anything for you" I just want to make her understand! Please Em, I'm here, I'll always be here for you!
She just stares at me her face softening fractionally, confused and in that moment I realize that my passionate thoughts had been spoken outloud.
"Haz, I'm fine, I can handle it alone. You just really need to go" a soft smile crosses her face.
Before I can respond she pushes me back until I am outside the door when she speaks again.
"If it was serious I would tell you, I promise but it really wasn't anything, I don't even remember what it was" I know she lying but she looks exhausted, spent from last night, the dream, this fight, and the early hour we woke up.
"Thanks for last night and the ice cream" and with that she leans forward to give me a kiss on the cheek. Her lips are warm on my now stubbly skin. I think she lingers for a moment but I can't be sure because as quickly as it happened she was retreating back into her room and closing the door.
EMMA
It's been years, years since I have had a dream like that, of that night. Of course the one night they come back I have no other than Harry Edward Styles, mister savior of the damsel in distress, nosey bastard, sleeping next to witness it. I know he has only the best intentions but I couldn't tell him. I wanted to tell him, I wanted to tell him so badly when we were by my window just moments ago but I couldn't.
When I felt his hands on the sides of my face and his eyes locked on my lips I knew what he wanted and our whole future together flashed before my eyes and ended in an explosion of incoherent screams, broken glass, and shattered hearts. Yes I want him to kiss me, I honestly want nothing more in this moment but I couldn't let that happen. I know it wasn't fair to push him out of the room and lie to him that I was alright but it would have been a bigger injustice to let him kiss me and break his heart later on, no matter how much I wanted him too.
But I had an even bigger thing on my mind now as I lean against the door allowing my body to slide down to the ground unable to cry for the fear that my dream brought up. My dream was as real, felt as real as that very night. All of a sudden I can't breath, panic hitting me like a brick wall. My chest starts heaving up and down faster than I could take in enough air. I needed to calm down, concentrate on my breathing, in and out, in and out, just like when I was younger.
I need to focus on something grounded, solid even if it was only the cold hard door I am leaning against.
It's not enough though as images of my dream course through my mind...him pinning me against the wall...crushing my already broken shoulder with all this strength...his yells demanding his liquor...the hard thud and mind numbing pain as I hit the floor, falling from his grasp...shards of glass hitting my face and body. It is all real this moment, even sitting on my dorm room floor thinking about this thing that happened so many years ago, but it wasn't years ago anymore. My dream was just moments ago and I felt it all unable to wake.
And then I heard him, Harry, the only thing I had thought about the entire incident. Harry's voice was the one who saved me that night when I thought about him and this morning as he shook me awake.
When I woke up I was so disoriented to see him hovering over me but I can't deny that it felt right. His body pressed against mine, his legs entangled with mine. It was calming and I felt safe, feeling goosebumps cover my skin feeling him against me. That never happens with guys, especially never so deep down in my core. But seeing Harry was all the relief I needed and feeling his skin against mine brought me back to reality.
Finally coming back to the here and now I find myself still shaking, feeling boiling hot but deeply cold all at once. This is not happening, I'm done. I decide, there is so much more in this world to worry about that I can't, no I won't, let him stop me. I have been so afraid and still am honestly but the memory of the incident that night needs to go back in its rightful place, far away on the back of my mind. It's over and I won't ever see my dad again so why dwell on the past.
Slowly pushing myself up off the floor I find my center and get on with my day, I have some residents to wake up. Oh it's 6:30, I nearly cheerful think to myself thinking about how I'm gonna teach all my lovable drunken idiots living him this house.
___
A/N: Finally another update. I really hope you like it. More secrets of what happened with Emma are soon to be revealed don't worry but before that can happen some more stuff is gonna happen between Harry and Emma which I am so excited to write.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE vote/comment/share.
Thanks for reading and hope you like where this story is going. Im hopeful to have another update very soon, I had a few days of work this week so I fell behind my tentative schedule.
Where are you guys from? And if you have any suggestions I'd love to hear them.
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All the love and happy spring!
C