Author's POV:
It's been a few days since the incident in the room. It's been days since Jimin read the notes and remembered everything. It's been days since Jungkook felt like dying. It's been days since the last time they talked to each other.
The other members also became gloomy, as the atmosphere in the house. If before, after the accident, the members became noisier and more active, now, people are barely talking. Namjoon and Tae are busy comforting the two. Jungkook is staying in Namjoon's room, never coming out, not to eat, not to drink, not to talk. Never coming out, just lying on the bed, if not sleeping, crying. Jimin is also not very different from what he was just a few days ago. Jimin is just in his room, existing, confined in by the four walls and the ceiling of the room. He would sleep, eat, look out the window, and do it all over again.
They became lifeless.
Namjoon carried a tray of food from the kitchen, up to his room. He opened the door to see Jungkook still wrapped in the sheet. Namjoon set the tray of food down on the bed and sat beside Jungkook.
"Jungkook, here's your food. It's chicken; Jin-hyung cooked it for you." Namjoon said to Jungkook, in the hope of catching the interest of the younger, because everyone knows how he loves chicken. Namjoon noticed how the younger's body was still, but frequently jerking due to hiccups. It's been days since this kid stopped crying. Namjoon said to himself. He held Jungkook's shoulder and helped him sit up. He almost flinched when he saw Jungkook's face. His eyes were bloodshot; with eye bags so big they could practice their routine on it. His nose was red, and his lips were dry.
"Jungkook, just eat, ok?" Namjoon said as he lifted the tray to Jungkook's lap. Jungkook wiped his tears with the back of his hand and started eating. Namjoon watched carefully as the maknae lifted the spoon of food to his lips and chewed it slowly. Somehow, it made him happy, but seeing how little the food that Jungkook carried on the spoon was also depressing, because Jungkook was the one in the group that would try eating everything in just one gulp. After five of six spoons of food, Jungkook pushed the tray away from him and turned again to lie on the bed. Namjoon just sighed.
"Jungkook, how long are you going to starve yourself?" Namjoon asked Jungkook as he put the tray to the floor. "Jungkook, look at yourself. Jungkook you're not like that." Namjoon said as he held Jungkook's shoulder. "Jungkook you can't just lie here for the rest of your life. You need to live. You need to learn how to live again." Namjoon said to him. Jungkook turned to face Namjoon, and lifted himself up from the mattress to hug Namjoon. Namjoon felt his shirt getting wet from Jungkook's tears, as the younger burst into a sob again. There's not a single day that Jungkook spent without crying uncontrollably. The open wound in his heart was still fresh, bleeding, and it was killing Jungkook. Even after days after Jimin remembered everything, he still felt like it was happening again right in front of him. Jimin's words and hurt face is still haunting him.
"It will be alright, I promise. Everything can be fixed." Namjoon said comfortingly to Jungkook, rubbing his back to comfort him.
Jimin was lying on his bed on his back, staring at the ceiling like it was the most fascinating thing in the world. He just looked straight. His mind was being boggled by a lot of questions and thought, but he couldn't concentrate on any one. What am I feeling? Jimin asked himself. Am I hurt? Am I sad? Am I happy? Am I excited? Jimin was finding it very hard to know what he was exactly feeling. Sure, there was that pain in his chest, but it wasn't just that. He doesn't know what to think – he even welcomed the idea that he is happy is desperation to know what he really was feeling. His been in deep thought a few days now, and he can't leave his room. He was just staring at anything inside the room. He looked so tired, with eye bags hanging below his eyes that are red with excessive staring and crying.
"Hyung?" Tae asked as he slowly opened the door to Jimin's room, which used to be his shared room with Jungkook. Jimin didn't move. He just continued staring at the ceiling. Tae moved closer and closed the door behind him. He sat down beside Jimin and took a deep breath before talking. "How are you doing?" He asked.
As he expected, Jimin didn't answer. He just continued staring, like as if he completely missed Tae's question. Tae sighed and moved closer to Jimin. "Hyung, we are getting worried about your physical well-being." Tae began talking. "You should consider going out sometimes, or just walking around the house or the neighborhood." Tae added. Jimin diverted his gaze to the boy sitting beside him.
"Tae... I don't want to stand up. And I couldn't. I am feeling too weak to stand or walk around like you said." Jimin answered to Tae. His voice was hoarse, like he hadn't been talking for a long time, or he talked too much that he used up all his voice.
"Hyung, it's ok for you to take your time, and no one's pressuring you to rush through this whole process of analyzing your feelings." Tae said as he moved closer to hold Jimin's shoulder. "But, Jimin-hyung, you are killing yourself in here. Hyung, you are way stronger than this. And you know that. Jungkook rejected you three times in a row in the past, and three times you held your head up high and went on living." Tae said to Jimin, invoking tears from Jimin and himself. "Hyung, please, don't let yourself rot in this room. Hyung, LIVE." Tae said to Jimin, patting his back. Jimin sat up and hugged Tae.
"Thanks Tae, for being here for me." Jimin said. Tae stood up and left Jimin inside his room to give him more time alone.
Outside, in the living room, Hoseok, Jin, and Yoongi were seated around the TV. They weren't talking. The TV wasn't even on. They just sat there, thinking about the events that have come to pass. Jin looked up to see the stressed faces of the two rappers that were with him in the living room. He cleared his throat and spoke.
"What do you think will happen now?" Jin asked the two.
"I don't know, hyung. I really don't know. After all the hurt that Jimin's been through from loving Jungkook? I really don't know what to expect." Yoongi answered.
"Me too. I don't know what will happen. But what I know is that a person could only take so much. But we all know Jimin. That kid is a fighter." Hoseok said.
"Honestly... I want them to still fix this mess. I want them to be together for real, without anything that would stop them from loving each other. No blocked memories. No accident." Jin said to the two. "I saw it all. When they were acting to be together to get me and Tae know our feelings for each other, I didn't really buy it at first. It just seemed all too sudden for me. But as the days passed, I saw how they showered each other with love. I was convinced that they were finally lovers. Everything was so real – their love for each other is definitely not just for show. They love each other, but they ended up hurting." Jin finished.
"Yeah... I also doubted it at first, when Tae revealed everything to us. But after some time, I was convinced that they really are in love with each other. The way they looked at each other, the way they move, the way they talk. Without knowing it, they already loved each other." Yoongi said to his band mates.
"But I really don't know. You know that I was never a pessimist, but I really don't know about it this time. Jimin got hurt AGAIN, for the nth time in a row. And all of those times, it was because of Jungkook. Jungkook loves Jimin, but he's always ending up hurting his hyung." Hoseok said to the other two. "And we are all aware that not all love end like yours, Jin-hyung" Hoseok added, looking at Jin. "Not all love stories end with a happily ever after." He ended.
"Even though that's what they always say in the stories of my favorite characters, I know that it's not always the case." Jin said. "But I really hope everything end in a good way."
The three sat in the living room and thinking about what might happen when they heard a door open and close.
"Tae and Namjoon just got out of the two's rooms, right?" Jin asked. The other two nodded and watched as Jimin stepped down the flight of stairs slowly, and without acknowledging the them, headed straight to the porch. The three panicked when they realized this.
"Jimin! Whatever that's happening right now, there's no reason for you to give up! Don't jump!" Jin shouted. Jimin turned around to look at them.
"I'm not jumping." Jimin said to the three as he entered the porch. He closed the glass pane door behind him and opened his arms and closed his eyes, feeling the air rush around him. To him, it felt like years since the last time he felt the air like this. It was comforting – it felt like it was taking some of the bitterness with it as it rushed across and past Jimin's skin. Jimin opened his eyes and gave himself time to adjust to the brightness.
It can't go on like this. It can't end like this. There has to be some end to all of this. We can't just lock ourselves away forever. Jimin said to himself as fresh tears rolled down his cheeks. He doesn't stop them this time. He just let everything pour out of him. He just wanted to end this torment, and he thinks that maybe, just maybe, if he let the tears fall as much as they want, maybe he will feel lighter. This has to stop. I don't care anymore what might happen. I don't care anymore if we end up together or not. I'm just tired of everything.
Jungkook was still curled in his sheets, staring at nothing. His whole body was sore. His eyes, his nose, his hands and legs. But one place was feeling nothing. It was his heart. He couldn't feel anything and it scares him. He doesn't even know if his heart was still beating. He felt like right there, in the left side of his chest, was a hole, devoid of anything. All the hurt must've made me numb. Jungkook thought. He lifted his gaze to the curtains. He slowly and painfully helped himself up, and went to the curtains. He opened the curtains and let bright light enter Namjoon's room. He covered his eyes, but immediately put his hands down and let the blinding light fill him. He walked to the window, and opened its glass pane. He leaned forward and felt the light and air hit him. The air was cold for him. He leaned further and stuck his head out of the window. He closed his eyes, and felt the sunlight dry the tears that were rolling down his cheeks. He held onto the window, and cried. He just couldn't stop crying. He couldn't stop crying for one hour straight. Sometimes he just wants to bang his head on the wall to make himself sleep. It is only then he couldn't feel the hurt. It was only in his sleep he stopped crying, or at least didn't know he was still crying.
It's over. Jungkook said to himself as he continued to cry. It's over, and all because of my fault. Because I was stupid. Because I was coward.Jungkook said to himself. Because I loved him too much. Jungkook started shaking because of his crying. But he doesn't stop himself. He just let all the emotions fill him. I don't have the right to expect anything good to happen after this. I don't deserve him. Jungkook continued. And then, he realized, that maybe it's about time to accept everything. Maybe, it's time he learns that there are things in life that has to end, may it be for good, or for bad. That maybe, good things like this falls apart, for better things to fall together. Maybe... just maybe... it's time to accept that there are things that cannot be.
It's over. Jungkook said as he returned to the bed, and for the first time in a long time, fell into a deep sleep at peace.