Part 23 : I Don't Wear Suits.
*. April 2nd .*
"You don't wear suits do you?" Ian asked me as we all were getting measured by slick and skinny men that worked at the shop. I shook my head and erupted in a laugh. "Don't worry, man." He laughed. "It won't be long and Taylor Jean would appreciate you in a suit as much as you want her in a dress."
"I'm not that fancy." I answered as the workers left to go find some suits for us to wear. I felt strange being apart of a wedding that I didn't know anyone besides my lovely girlfriend, the girl I loved, head to toe. There was nothing I didn't love about her, maybe not the fact that she is known by many people and many guys look at her like I would have looked at her before.
"I can't believe that I'm getting married." He said smiling to himself. I looked at him as he kept smiling as it got wider and wider. I couldn't tell if he was nervous at all. "I'm gonna tell you something." He said before rolling up his sleeves. "When you're in love you gotta do everything you can. Don't make mistakes. If you think about another girl you better leave before you start to get more in a deeper relationship. It hurts less."
"I've built myself up to protect myself from the pain that other people have inflicted on me in the past. How does one person change all that? How did she sneak by my defenses?" I asked him. He chuckled and set a large hand on my shoulder.
"That's the power that she has, same with her mother. Don't worry, Johnny will find a girl that does that to him too." He chuckled.
I got seperated from him after he said that as we all go to a different dressing room. I pulled my clothing off and put on the more fancier clothing. I felt nicer and I didn't feel dirty like I did all the time. I felt like I belonged with Taylor Jean, in her lifestyle. But I wasn't apart of her lifestyle.
"Jackson? Does it fit?" The man asked knocking on the door. I unlocked it and stepped out. Ian was other there with the others and winked when I stepped out. "Well, don't you look pulchritudinous." The man smiled as he squealed from excitement.
I didn't feel 'pulchritudinous', whatever that meant. I was hoping it wasn't 'daveshing' or 'good-looking'. Somehow, ever since I met Taylor Jean, my confidence went down the drain. I wasn't myself. I was something else, all because of her.
"Looks like you aren't the only one thinking it's your wedding." Johnny said handing me his phone. I look and I almost drop it from the sight that I saw.
Taylor Jean was in a white wedding dress. It looked like it was perfectly measured for her. She was just looking in the mirror at herself, oblivious to the fact that she was getting her photo taken. The beauty she had made the world go round.
"Gotcha." I heard Johnny said. He was using his fingers to tap on his phone and I wondered what he just did then it hit me. He took a photo of me and sent it to her. I was getting nervous. Maybe she thought I didn't look good enough to be in this suit while she was in that dress and looked like a goddess.
*.*.*.*
"No, I'm paying." Taylor Jean insisted to the large party we had as we got out of our cars and met at the restaurant. "I have money that I don't need. You guys are already spending a lot on your wedding, it's my treat."
"Fine." Her mother said as she kissed her daughter's forehead and we all walked inside the mildly crowed restaurant. Taylor Jean's hand was played lightly in mine until she'd feel the emptiness and squeeze harder making me move closer to her.
We got seated quite fast and I was again afraid on what to do. This was like the first time Taylor Jean and I had dinner together at a restaurant where she had to reassure me that it was okay to say what I wanted.
The family shared memories and I somehow felt like I shouldn't belong there. It was a time where the family saw each other again and caught up, not learn about the new people that were in their lives, but maybe Ian felt like that.
"Jackson," Her mother, who goes by Liz, said to me giving me a gentle smile. "I would like to know a little more about you." She said reading my mind. I took a deep breath. "Do you go to school with Taylor?"
"No." I said. "I work for her family with my uncle where we do some construction for their backyard and help with other things like serving when they have parties."
"So, you're kind of like a pet of there's?" Her sister, Vicky, said with a cold tone. Something said that her sister wasn't a big fan of Liz's first husband. I shook my head and a warm hand found it way on my thigh. I knew it was Taylor Jean as she tried to find my hand but then accidentally hit the wrong part of my body making me jump. She jumped too and turned away to hide the redness of her face.
"I don't think he's a pet." Taylor Jean defended. Her mother gave her soft eyes but her sister just stayed with cold eyes thinking of Liz's ex.
"Jackson, how did you find the nickname Taylor Jean?" Her mother asked. "I don't think she was ever a fan of her middle name.. not until you seem to come into her life." Her mother gave her daughter a sleek smile. I bit my lip and laughed as Taylor Jean put her hands on the table and folded them together holding the urge to try to find my hands again.
"I once read a book," I answered. Her eyes went to me and I noticed that sudden pop in her eyes when she learned something new. She probably believed that I wouldn't have even touched a book besides one from the book store that I hid it. "The boy this girl met asked her what her full name was and it was Hazel Grace Lancaster.
"I thought it would be interesting to finally ask someone what their full name was and see if it fit better than just their first name. So, I asked her what her middle name was and it kind of fit better. Taylor Jean." I said taking a deep breath. Her mother seemed to see something that I didn't neither did Taylor Jean.
Taylor Jean looked so shocked. It was like she knew exactly what book I was talking about. As if it was what she always wished that would happen. She'd have a relationship like Augustus and Hazel - beside the fact that he died and they both had cancer. Her eyes looked at me widely. A small smile happened to be appearing on her lips.
This time, I grabbed her hand that finally found it's way onto her lap.
*.*.*.*
"I collect the words you say to me and wear them on a string around my neck, close to the pulse in my throat, the thump of my heart." I whisper to Taylor Jean as she lays on her side. I was on the side of her like the first time we 'slept' together.
"You never told me you read 'The Fault In Our Stars.'" She said. I could see her smiling as she said. I kissed her jawline and rubbed her arm and I saw chills rise on her arm. She turned and looked at me in the eyes. She set her hand on my cheek and looked at me. "I love books. I like that the moment you open on and sink into it you can escape from the world, into a story that's way more interesting than yours will ever be."
"Is it bad to say that I cried?" I winked. She hit my arm and laughed. "Do you not believe me?" I asked laughing. I never remembered how it felt to laugh. I knew how it felt to cry. And sometimes I would laugh then cry.
"You didn't cry." She laughed and smiled. "I cried reading that book. I'd laugh then cry." She read my mind. How did she do that all the time? How did everyone do that? "I hate sad stuff." She said as her smile faded.
I touched her cheek and went above her more to kiss her forehead. I let my lips linger to her nose as her eyelids fluttered down. I put my hand on her chest as I feel her heartbeat. Thump, thump, thump. It fasten by the touch of my hand with the warmth from her skin.
"Why is your heart beating so fast?" I asked her. Her eyes fluttered opened and she smiled. She shook her head and she laughed. "I heard a song." I said as she flutters her eyes down again. "I think I might have inhaled you. I could feel you behind my eyes. You've gotten in my bloodstream. I could feel you floating in me." She smiles widely and without opening her eyes she reaches my lips with her with hers.
"You really know what to tell a girl, don't you Foster?" She said pulling away and opening her brown eyes. She looks over and sees the time. She sighs and then speaks. "I think we should go to sleep." She suggested.
I shake my head before kissing her lips. Her body heated up every time she got touched by me. Even the time we first encountered each other in the kitchen. Her body was freezing but when I touched she was on fire. I felt the same. She made me want to just grab her and make us both one, instead of two.
We pulled away and I laughed as she smiled. She laughed and I said to her before we went to sleep. "Once upon a time there was a boy who loved a girl, and her laughter was a question he wanted to spend his whole life answering."