Nicole Fontanilla
Kumalas sa pagkakayakap ko si Mike at bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga sa kama.
"What's wrong?" takang tanong ko.
"Nothing. I just need to go," sagot ni Mike.
Matalim na tiningnan ko siya at tumawa ng mapait kaya biglang napatingin siya sa akin.
"Am I really a shitty lay?" tanong ko ng mahina at tiningnan siya ng diretso sa mga mata.
"W-what?" gulat na tanong ni Mike. I can clearly see the guilt in his eyes that he was trying so hard to hide.
Too bad, I can see right through him.
"Because if you haven't noticed, you're treating me like your personal whore," I continued trying to be nonchalant even though I'm feeling really shitty and cheap.
Not that it's anyone's fault but mine.
"No accusations, I just want to know. Every fucking time we have sex, you can't wait to get away from me. I mean, we're friends right? We can talk like normal adults after a satisfying sex. What's the rush?"
Mike gaped at me.
His mouth formed an 'O' but no sound came out. He tried to open his mouth to talk but all that came out was "um .."
I chuckled bitterly.
"It's alright, Mike. No need to feel guilty. I can take care of myself. But if that's how you want this to play then fine, I get it."
Mike was still standing at the bottom of the bed, gaping at me. He was frozen. He looks like a dick to be honest.
Napailing na lang ako at humiga ulit sa kama. Pinikit ko mga mata ko hanggang sa marinig ko ang pagsara mg pinto ng kuwarto.
Hindi ko pa din idinilat ang mga mata ko kahit alam kong ako na lang mag isa. Why do I feel so alone and lonely? I don't love him, right? This is just sex, right? I'm not allowed to have feelings to my bestfriend's ex boyfriend. The guy who's still fucking in love with my bestfriend.
I can have sex with him. But I'm not allowed to have feelings for him. Just no. This is foolishness. This is so fucking stupid.
You're so fucking stupid Nicky.
••••••
Dylan Ella Young
"What's fucking wrong with you?" bulyaw ni Axl sa akin.
Kakatapos lang namin mag-lunch sa cafeteria at pagalit na hinila ako ni Axl dito sa school grounds para bulyawan at pagalitan.
Na para bang may karapatan siya.
Kanina sa cafeteria, ni hindi man lang ako matingnan ni Max. Tsk. What a fucking coward. Dalawang linggo na kaming nag-iiwasan, hindi nag uusap at sa totoo lang nauubos na ang pasensya ko.
Kaunting-kaunti na lang talaga.
Tinaasan ko ng kilay si Axl.
"You're really asking me that?"
"Stop being sarcastic and answer me! Ikaw ang may kasalanan dito, Ella! Hindi ako! Tapos ikaw pa ang may ganang umarte ng ganiyan?" naglalabasan na ang mga litid ni Axl sa sobrang gigil sa akin.
Mabuti na lang malayo kami sa mga estudyante at walang nakakarinig sa amin. Or kung meron man, I don't give a fuck.
In all honesty, we haven't spoken since the incident at the condo. I refused to speak to her and she was too angry to talk to me so .. this is the first time that we really dared to talk about what's really happening.
"My fault?" tanong ko sa kaniya.
"Pray tell me, Axl. Which was my fault? That I was sleeping with Max, your friend? And that I kept that secret from you? Because as far as I know, my sex life is none of your fucking business!"
Axl's eyes were wide and her face was so red with anger.
"I specifically told you not to touch my friends and vice versa! I told them not to lay a finger on you and look what happened! You've been fucking each other behind my back for god knows how long!" She was throwing her hands in the air to express her point but I just rolled my eyes.
"You can't tell me shit, Axl. You cannot tell me who to fuck and not to fuck. I never asked you anything and I never dared to tell you that you can't fuck someone so I would appreciate it if you gave me the same courtesy," my voice was cold and detached and I'm just so tired of this.
"I was just trying to protect you, Ella." Axl's voice turned soft and somehow, it made me angrier and more bitter because I can sense her pity.
"I don't want to see you get hurt. We both know how Max is. She's a player. She won't commit herself to anyone. She fucked you and also fucked the whole female population in this school. How can you let yourself be treated like that? Like a wh-" she cut herself off but I know what she was about to say.
Like a whore.
"If that's the case, then you're a slut." I turned around to face her.
"At least I'm only sleeping with one person, unlike you. And I'm fucking the person I love. I am no whore, Axl. We both know that. I cannot say the same for you."
That was harsh and I can immediately see the hurt in my twin's eyes. But I'm tired of giving a fuck about her feelings when she obviously doesn't care about mine.
Before I turned around to leave, I looked at my twin in the eye.
"Next time, do not intervene with my sex life or I will fuck with yours, too. And you will not like it, kambal."
Hindi ko na hinintay ang reaksyon niya at tumalikod na ako. May kakaibang pakiramdam kapag sinaktan mo ang kapatid mo pero mas mabigat kapag kakambal dahil doble ang dating.
I didn't bother to attend my classes that day.
For the first time in history, I skipped my classes and headed straight to a bar.
I will get wasted tonight.
Max who?
She doesn't give a fuck about me.
That fucking coward.
I don't care anymore.
I don't.
Maybe if I keep telling myself that, it will be true. Because right now, it hurts so fucking much.
My tears run down my face as I downed the shot of vodka down my throat. I drank and drank until I can barely see straight.
Fuck you, Max. Fuck you to hell and back.
••••••
MM
"Where are you going again?" tanong ko kay KC.
"Not sure, but somewhere far from here," sagot ni KC pero hindi siya tumitingin sa akin.
Hindi ko mapin-point pero ramdam kong may nagbago na sa amin. Hindi ko alam kung bakit at paano pero nagbago na si KC.
She's acting so strange. The anger outbursts. The way she stares at me.
Not that I can't sleep at night thinking about her.
No. Of course not.
I held her hand and kissed it. With KC, I don't need to think so hard about touching her or kissing her hand, cheek, or shoulder. I just do it.
I felt her stiffen beside me. See, this is what I'm talking about. She's changed. Do I make her feel uncomfortable? Does it make her feel weird?
But she kissed me on the lips last time though.
It's not as if I kept thinking about that all day, everyday. It just crossed my mind is all.
I looked at her. "Case, why are you acting so strange? Do I make you feel uncomfortable?"
I tried to keep the insecurity from my voice but KC sensed it.
She held my hand tighter. "You will never make me feel uncomfortable. I am the most comfortable when I'm with you. You know that, babe."
She tried to smile at me but it looks strained. I frowned.
"You're keeping something from me," I said matter of factly.
She tried to denied it but I cut her off.
"It's okay, Case. I can wait until you're ready to tell me," I assured her but she's no longer looking at me.
I followed her eyes and saw Madison. My kind-of-date.
"Baby!" Madison squeaked loudly. "I've been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?" she asked.
I shrugged because I don't feel like explaining.
Madison decided to sit on my lap and kissed me. I felt KC forcefully stood up and let go of my hand.
I frowned. I don't like it.
"Case --" But she was already storming out. I sighed.
"What the fuck is her deal?" I heard Madison asked me.
"Hell if I know," I said as I stared at KC's retreating back.
"What do you say about going to mine after class?" Madison teasingly offered.
I grinned.
"I don't see why not," I said and kissed her again.
•••••••