This chapter didn't actually turn out that bad. Or at least, that's what I think~
Enjoy!
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The zombie pig pack leader held a flaming sword to Johnny's throat, snorting some type of threat towards him.
Not understanding a word of what it said, a pink-faced Toast tried to look around and see how he could get out of the madness. He turned his head and part of his neck popped out a bit, causing the burning blade to poke at his skin; He only saw a glimpse of the lava pool below the cliff he sat on before he squeaked at the pinch.
Johnny searched for Gertrude by turning his head slightly this time. All he saw was pig-men to his left and then... a pair of legs. He looked up and saw Gertrude about to wring the creature's neck with her crowbar.
Pigman caught the glance and found Gertrude.
She locked a worried stare with it for a split second before it took its free hoof and clashed with her abdomen, forcibly pushing her backwards.
"Oof!" Gertrude grunted when she hit the ground. The rock around her hands began to react to the body temperature. It started to melt her hands further into the molten rock.
The alpha piggy was distracted by Gertrude.
It was Johnny's only chance; he took one more uncomfortable glimpse at the lava below before leaping up off of one hand. His palm print was left in the ground. Toast picked up the knife-sword that lay beside it.
Mama pulled her hands from the lava-esque landscape, grunting pained whispers to herself as she stared at the redness of the palms. She snatched her crowbar off the ground, which felt a lot cooler.
She felt Toast zip past her, although his more tender ankle caused him to stagger a bit. A few feet ahead of her was Johnny, stabbing a zombie pig. It made an ear-piercing squeal and picked up a rock the size of a golf ball.
Johnny's face became whiter. "Oh, dear."
That was Gertrude's trigger to help. She moved closer to him and stuck out her crowbar while the rock was in mid air.
The stone hit the tip on the side of the weapon and struck Toast in the shoulder at a slower speed. It ripped a hole into the sleeve of his white undershirt and clashed with his skin. It began to fizzle into nothing.
"Why is it always me?" Toast mumbled, holding his stinging shoulder.
Gertrude finished the ugly farm animal by smashing it over the head with the rusty crowbar.
Another pig came behind her from the back. She spun around, yelling a word at every bang of the crowbar. "Don't. Mess. With. Mama!"
The second pig's head was split open. It fell to the ground in defeat. Johnny watched with awe.
Well, until the infuriated leader stormed over to him, squealing war. It held its fiery sword pointed at Toast.
The alpha creature clashed blades with Johnny. The paranormal investigator smirked. "And now we can fight fire with fire."
His sword, unfortunately, began to melt on its own. Toast frowned. He caught the smug look of the leader pig, so he quickly moved to the side and removed his sword from the pig's.
"Fine, then." He glared. He dug through his pocket, but couldn't find his gun.
It was leaning towards the edge of the cliff.
"Gertrude!" He called out.
Mama had already finished off the last of the pack that was still willing to fight. The rest had run off. The leader seemed worried at this. She unintentionally gave Johnny a fearsome look, to which his own glare softened a bit.
"I... need my gun?" He said a little more quietly, gesturing to the cliff.
After a moment of silence, she said with her eyes glinting bright red, "You're lucky I'm crazy."
He gave her an uncomfortable half smile, but it faded when he had to duck under the leaping pig.
It had enough luck to dodge past a large rock embedded into the ground.
"Why is the bad guy never struck by Karma?!" Johnny complained.
The leader must've realized how much less important the P.I.E. employee was at the moment, because after giving him an angry glance, it sprinted towards Gertrude with its 'iconic' blade. It accidentally bumped into Gertrude, who was crouched over trying to get the gun.
"Oh!" She fell over the cliff, but clutched onto the edge as much as she could handle. "Oh my gosh, John! Heelp!" The piggy walked over her with a determined look to kill. Tears were starting to form in her eyes.
Toast's eyes significantly widened, then narrowed with rage. "Stay away from her!"
He managed to get close to Gertrude, but Pigman slashed a very thin cut across his abdomen, right under the wound Jimmy tore through. It burned like crazy (likely because of the fire), but Johnny tried his best to ignore it, even with the frustrated tears threatening to fall from his eyes.
"Johnny!" Gertrude squeaked as the weaker rocks she held onto began to crack.
Toast picked up Gertrude's fallen crowbar and smashed the pig's head in. It collapsed, but it was not yet dead.
He threw the weapon back a little so he could swiftly help Mama up. His arm veins popped out and his shoulder felt like it was going to snap off.
Seeing that the rock they sat upon was about to plunge into the abyss of fire, Toast basically threw her alongside her weapon to assure her safety.
He heard her grunt in pain, but at least she was okay.
Now that she was fine, he still had himself to worry about. Johnny grabbed his gun and tried to run, but his weight caused the rock to collapse below him. He was only able to half finish one word. "Wha--" He slipped off the side of the precipice, with only his torso to his head showing to Gertrude.
She hurried over to him and lifted him up.
Johnny coughed out a few drops of blood; he looked terrible.
"Oh, dear, John." Gertrude said. "You'll be fine when we get back, I promise!"
"If we get back." Johnny said with a somewhat solemn expression.
While this went on, the leader of the zombie pig pack that was long gone was waking up. It struggled to a standing position, dragging its sword with the strength it still had.
Johnny also staggered off of his knees.
"I would have given you a chance to live. I don't like exterminating things that aren't quite ghosts." He lifted up his gun and pointed it at the pig.
"We did nothing to you, but you attacked." He moved back the gun's hammer.
"Sorry, sir." He pulled the trigger and shot.