*DEAN'S POV*
Its been about a month since the whole thing with Miguel went down. The story of his death was covered up pretty easily since everyone who was basically under his command hated his guts. One of his men approached me three days after his death and told me that I was next in line to lead them.. I looked at him like he was crazy. I never wanted anything to do with the damn gang in the first place, why the hell would I want to lead them? So of course I told him no and to never bother me again. I haven't heard anything from them since then and they've all been pretty quiet lately too, waiting for their next move I guess.
As for Mia.. Well, I haven't heard from or seen her this entire month. That same night we came home and she packed some of her things and left. We didn't argue, we didn't fight, hell we didn't even speak.. She just packed up and left, and I didn't chase her. I figured she just wanted her space, which I can completely understand. I just didn't think she was going to leave me for this long... She's been staying at Jess's house. That, i'm grateful for.. At least she's not in some dark apartment by herself. She has Jess to keep her company. Jess has also been keeping tabs on her and reporting back to me. She's been avoiding me at any costs so Jess just let's me know how she's doing..
I blame myself for everything that happened. I can't believe I let things get this bad. I lost control of the whole situation.. I was ready, I was ready to take Miguel's life! I was ready for his blood to be on my hands! I never wanted this for her! I ruined her.. I know she'll never forgive me for this. She's never going to want anything to do with me, and i can't blame her.
"Aww look who's down in the dumps" I heard a male voice say.
I looked up squinting my eyes because of the sun. "Not that I really care.. But where you been? You've been missing for months.q.."
"Eh," Adam shrugged. "Here and there"
I just stared at him. He just had that kind of face that looked so punchable. I wanted nothing more than to take all of my anger and frustration out on him, but even I knew that that would be stupid and pointless. Kicking his ass wouldn't bring Mia back to me. Kicking his ass wouldn't fix this entire mess that I made.. So what's the point?..
"I dropped out" he said as he sat down next to me on the bench. "That's why it seems like I just fell of the face of the earth"
I nodded understandingly. "Why?"
He sighed and sat back. "I was kind of a dick"
I gave him a flat look. "Kinda?"
"Okay, I was a dick"
I nodded agreeing with him. "A major one"
"Right. And because of that people started not to like me.. My friends turned their backs on me, my girlfriend left me and my family didn't want anything to do with me. I lost everyone... So I left. Went from place to place, met some really amazing people and learned a thing or two about life and how to treat people"
"So while you were out soul searching, did you happen to find a heart?" I asked seriously.
He glanced at me for a second and nodded. "Yea, I did.."
The urge to punch him in the face was weakening and I'll be honest, it felt weird as fuck!
"So what now?" I asked.
He shrugged. "I've written my wrongs.. I've changed for the better. Now all I can do is hope that everyone will forgive me"
"Just like that?" He arched his eyebrow at me. "You think you can screw up that badly and people are just going to forgive you? It doesn't work like that.."
He shrugged. "You might be right.. But I can't just not try to make things right. If there's one thing that I've learned it's that everyone is capable of forgiveness, and that you'll never be able to really move on and heal until you have forgiven or have been forgiven. I guess it's easier said than done though.. Everyone heals at their own pace. i won't give up"
I thought about that for a minute, instantly thinking of Mia. I should try to talk to her..
"Hmm.." I slightly nodded my head. "I guess I shouldn't either"
He stared at me for a moment. "Something wrong?"
"Nothing I can't handle"
I think he could tell that I was lying.
"Trouble in paradise?"
I rubbed my beard. "No offense, but I'm not gonna talk about me and my ex girlfriends problems to her ex boyfriend"
He chuckled and nodded understandingly. "Fair enough"
"Dean" I heard a familiar voice say.
"Jess" I sighed. "Took you long enough"
She didn't say anything, she just glared at Adam. Things just got awkward..
Adam cleared his throat. "Well, listen" he stood up. "I gotta go.. I'm sorry for everything. I'll see you around bro"
"Alright" was all I said.
"Jessica" he nodded towards her.
"Adam.." Her voice was thick and full of hatred for him.
Without another word he walked off and Jess immediately took his stop on the bench.
"What the hell was that!?"
I sighed and rolled my eyes. "It was nothing"
"That was not nothing! He treats everybody like shit, falls off the face of the earth and then randomly comes and thinks he can be friends with you!?" She stared me. "Cause that's what he's doing right? He wants to be friends with you again?"
"He says that he isn't a dick anymore. He dropped out and left, went no where specific.. Guess he did some major soul searching"
"Ugh I can't stand him.. Why would you drop out of high school your senior year? That's dumb"
I shrugged. "I don't know, it doesn't sound too bad.. Leave here and go travel.."
That actually sound perfect.. Maybe that's just what I need, to get out of here for while.
"Your not seriously saying that right now.." She narrowed her eyes at me. "Your talking crazy. Just because your depressed doesn't mean you have to run away from your problems"
"I'm not running away from my problems.."
"Then what do you call leaving? We graduate next month. Why would you just want to quit when your so close?.."
I shrugged. Honestly school was the last thing on my mind. Everyone left for their senior trip to Disney world. So for the next week and a half seniors were excused from school.
"I Dont know Jess" I shrugged. "Why'd you ask to meet me?"
She sighed. "I need your help with something"
"Care to elaborate?"
"I need your help with Mia"
I sighed and flooded my arms.
"Just hear me out before you catch a attitude, okay?"
"Fine"
"Try to go see her. Maybe you guys can finally talk things out"
I shook my head. "Its not gonna happen"
"So that's it? Your not even gonna try to fix things with her? Your just gonna let her go?"
"She doesn't want to be kept Jess! I don't know what to do! She's not the only one falling apart here!" I yelled getting aggravated.
"Well I'm sick of seeing my best friend fall apart! She won't come out of her room! She barley gets out of bed! She doesn't speak! And at night she has nightmares and she's always crying!" She yelled at me, a tear or two ran down her face. "She needs you now more than ever Dean"
That hit me so hard. I did this to her and just let her run away from me..
"You didn't tell me she was having nightmares"
"Well she is.." She stared into my eyes. "Its not healthy for her to be going through this Dean"
In was confused. "What do you mean by its not healthy?"
She looked down at her hands sighing. "I can't say"
Now I was getting worried. "Jess is something wrong with her?!"
"No she's-"
"-Jess don't lie to me!"
"I'm not!" She stood up. "Its not my place to tell you. I have to go meet Damon.. Here's my house key. Go see her. Whether she wants to admit or not, she needs you Dean. Especially now"
I wish she would stop dropping hints and tell me what the fuck is going on. Just by the way she said "especially now" had me feeling all nervous.
Especially now.. Rang in my head as I went home and ate, showed and dressed in the outfit Mia loves to see me in.
I can't just let her go.. She's not getting away from me that easily.