"Craig!" I called, squirming through groups of people who went to Paul's funeral.
'Where the hell is he?' I thought to myself.
"Have you seen Craig?" I asked Jim, who was standing right next to Mick.
"Uhm, I think he went that way." He replied, pointing towards a river not far from where I was standing.
Without hesitation, I bolted out running to where he was.
Once I was there, I looked around. There was no sign of him whatsoever.
"Craig!" I called again. But there was no answer.
"C'mon Craig, where the he'll are you?" I muttered as I walked along the river.
It was quite peaceful, actually. Walking along the river, listening to the sound of the water traveling in one direction.
But I didn't think much of it. The river was the least of my worried at that moment. It was Craig I needed to worry about.
"Craig!" I called a third time, hoping to get some response.
But I didn't.
I let out an exhasperated sigh and trudged on.
And then, I felt another wave of sadness hit me.
I fell onto the wet grass below me. I gripped my stomach, and screamed.
"WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU?! YOU DIDN'T DESERVE TO DIE!" I screamed, my tears falling freely as I yelled at nothing at all.
He couldn't hear me.
How could he? He's dead. Far away from this place.
I was waisting my breath yelling at the sky. But I still did it anyway.
"Paul...why did it have to be you?" I whispered, gripping the wet grass from under me.
"It should've been me." I repeated over and over as I lay on the soaking wet ground.
I didn't care anymore. I didn't care that my clothes were starting to get wet because I was laying on the ground, I didn't care about the numbness that covered every inch of my body, due to the lack of clothing and my emotions. I didn't care about Corey and his new baby, or his girlfriend Stephanie, who took him away. I didn't care about the guys and what they thought of me now. I didn't care about what Marissa and her grandma are probably thinking right now. I didn't even care about my own life at this point.
Whats the point? I keep asking myself.
What's my objective in life now?
Just because Corey had hugged me earlier, didn't mean he wanted me to come back into his life.
"This is all my fault." I whimpered, curling up into a ball.
I began to cry, softly this time.
I was so sick of feeling like this.
"I'm so sorry Paul."
But then, the weirdest thing happened.
I began to feel someone's presence. And it wasn't a bad thing. No, their presence felt welcoming.
And just moments later, I felt a hand on my shoulder. And I instantly felt a wave of relief wash through me.
'Who is holding my shoulder right now?' I asked myself.
But I didn't fret over it too much, because I began to feel tired.
I began to shake because of the cold too.
I shut my eyes, and let the mysterious person lull me to sleep.
And then, the person placed their lips on my forehead. "It wasn't your fault." The person whispered. But it was barely audible.
Now I knew that it wasn't human.
It was some kind of spirit, or ghost.
I felt the ghost smile as it brushed the hair away from my face.
"I love you Raven." He said softly.
I smiled slightly. Now, my cold, numb body felt warm.
The hope that I had lost long ago, was slowly crawling back to me now.
And hopefully it would stay with me forever.
"I love you too Paul." I whispered back, as I fell into a dreamless sleep.