I woke up the next morning to the loud rings of my alarm─I would be lying if I said that i set up just one alarm to wake me up and that this wasn't the 15th time I hit the snooze button. I hated waking up for school, but I mean, who didn't?
I might be classified as a 'nerd' because I spend a lot of time studying and i get top grades but even people like me despise going to school and keeping up a perfect attendance.
I always wake up in the worst mood ever because the whole routine of the day consists of me studying my ass off and having countless unpleasant encounters─today was a bit different though. I actually woke up feeling okay, not great but okay.
I wanted to keep feeling like that, it was quite nice actually but unfortunately the most i can do was to savor this mood because even i knew that i can never have a full on good and peaceful day.
Slow wasn't even close to describing how much i took my time to get up and do my everyday morning routine which basically consisted of; peeing, washing my face and brushing my teeth, getting dressed up for school and having a bowl of cereal─and yes i am completely aware of the fact that I'm boring.
After turning the usual 10 minutes i took everyday to get ready to 50 minutes. I was done. Well, almost done since I still had to avoid bumping into my parents since that was something that always made my mood take a 180 degree turn and never for the better too.
I was fully aware of the fact that i was skipping breakfast─it honestly broke my heart since the thought of letting food go to waste was just horrific but i had to make sacrifices, even if it was food and desperate times do call for desperate measures after all.
I successfully tiptoed my way to the door and slowly turned the door handle, breaking out of the house and rendering myself free. Not exactly free since i am going to school, but i wanted to be proud of my semi escape.
I had decided against taking the bus just incase I bump into someone but I wasn't crazy though, I was not going to walk to school. It went against my no exercise protocol.
I was in fact going to use what money I had left on a cab.
I stopped one and told the driver what the location of my school was. He was surprised seeing a student take a cab and by the looks he was giving me, I could tell he thought I was rich which I most definitely wasn't.
He was talking on the phone with someone which didn't bother me at all but what he was saying sure as hell did.
"No offense but his ex-wife was a slut, she slept around with so much men after they divorced its just crazy. I mean who does she think she is?" He ranted before adding the cherry on top. "This is why women should stay at home and cook"
I was fuming that people like that still existed but i wasn't going to fight him. I mean i was a mere high school student after all and i did need a ride to school. I was disappointed at how much of a loser i was and how much i tried to hide my opinions.
The guy had ended his call and just in time i received a call too, it was from the only friend i had actually─i was going to answer it normally but i had a much better idea in mind.
"How's it goin' fam?" I said completely ignoring whatever my friend had to say about how the class was about to start and how i should get there faster.
"Pfft of course i wanna go to a foreign hookup bar today, what kinda question is that?" I continued to ignore my friends' questions about what i was saying and if i was high. I felt a little guilty but the triggered look on the drivers face made my guilt jump out of the window and motivated me to continue.
"What can i say man, I got hoes in different area codes" i said continuing to play along, we were close to the school building and the sexist driver looked beyond triggered and disgusted so i thought it was enough, hanging up on my friend in the process.
I told the driver to halt the car near the school gates─he did of course park in front of a puddle to show how much he disliked me but i couldn't care less if i had to be honest. I jumped over the tiny puddle and moved to the left to give him his money.
I walked inside the school building trying to savor the last few minutes i had of serenity before coming face to face with hell aka my class.
"You're late miss Park but i'll let you off since i have a very exciting announcement to make" mrs Kim said as soon as i opened the door. She had a huge smile plastered on her face so i couldn't help but give her a small smile back as i came in.
As i was walking to my desk at the back, i heard mrs Kim talk about the 'exciting announcement' she had and my mood instantly dropped. I knew where this was going.
"So class, the government picked a few public schools to go on educational trips aboard and these trips are specifically for the senior grades" She said a huge grin drawn on her face.
"Now comes the exciting part! these trips will be funded by the government so you and your home room teachers don't have to pay for the trip and our school gets japan! Isn't that great?" She explained almost squealing the last part.
Everyone had joy filling their eyes and kept talking about how cool this was and how great the trip was going to be. I didn't feel the least bit happy about this so called 'trip' if i had to be honest.
Mrs Kim started handing out the permission slips with the details on them. She eventually gave me one and the first thing i noticed was that the trip was 2 months away so it was going to be during spring break basically.
I decided to brush it off for now though since the due date was in five weeks and I was still persistent on savouring the mood I was in─I didn't take a cab and come late for nothing and I didn't even get detention for being late so it must have been a sign that today wasn't going to be all that bad.
The rest of the day passed peacefully until it was lunch break of course─I was determined on keeping my day the way it was so far and this lead to me instantly marching to the library after the bell rang.
I went inside and took a seat in front of the librarian just in case someone decided to come for me─i sighed and got out some of my books so i can do any portion possible of my homework since i wasn't all that hungry and wanted to pass some time.
I was midway through my chemistry homework when i felt an arm rest around my shoulders. I instantly froze, my face going pale for a few moments thinking that it was one of the people who liked to make my life worse than it already was─that was until i heard the following sentence;
"Guess I'm gonna have to give you my title as 'international playboy' now" Jungkook said laughing a little too loud for the librarians liking.
I instantly relaxed since Jungkook was basically my only friend, i couldn't help but smile just because of how much i like his laugh but i was still a little confused though.
"Why would i take your title as─OH"
"I got hoes in different are codes, Park Yura 2k16" he said letting out yet another laugh which earned him a shush from the librarian.
"What were you even doing?" He said calming down a little.
"I was trying to trigger a sexist asshole" i said crossing my arms and pouting which earned me a nudge on the cheek from the taller boy.
"Awh did you turn into one of those triggered feminists?" He cooed pinching my cheeks. I huffed in response and pushed his fingers away so i can defend my actions properly. "No you idiot, that guy was slut shaming some woman so i got pissed"
"Well the real question is, did you actually trigger him?"
"Yes"
"That's my girl" he said ruffling the top of my hair which earned him a scowl from me.
A lot of people were curious about how a guy like Jungkook who was athletic and had girls and guys following around hoping that he'd befriend them or even fuck them in some cases, could end up being bestfriends with a girl like me and the answer was simple really─Jeon Jungkook transferred here a year ago so he got to know me before hearing the rumors.
He actually got by not knowing them for a whole month since our encounters where always at the convenience store near our neighborhood─since we lived in the same neighbourhood we tended to ride the bus together too. We instantly became close friends ─our personalities just clicked together.
When Jungkook found out about the rumours he said something that I've always wanted to hear, something that made him my favourite person;
"Why should I care" he said disregarding the rumours.
Then he, like any boy, kept asking me weird questions about what it felt like and how it worked before I said that it wasn't even true─and now here i am, in the library, being nagged at to go have lunch by my so called 'favorite person'.
I would love to go and have lunch with him actually but the thing is that I don't really want to risk going with Jungkook to a place crowded by people who hate me─Jungkook knows it happens but he's never really seen it and i want to keep it that way─I don't want him to see me being weak. Heck, I don't even want him to see any side of me other than this one, which i don't really know what to call.
It's not that i don't trust Jungkook its more like i want him to remember this side of me rather than the depressed, troubled and insecure one.
I was going to keep the mood I was in no matter what though so I had to decline his offer which made him sigh and tell me that I owed him one.
He then left to go eat leaving me all alone again.
➖
Our last period was french. I absolutely despised french, without a doubt it was my least favourite subject─not that I even had a favorite subject anyway.
I was sat at my desk at the corner of the room, doodling on the worksheet miss Jane gave us. My drawing sucked ass but it was more fun than actually concentrating in this particular class─I was just about to fall sleep when I felt a vibration in my pocket, it was a message from our class group chat.
Jihyun: hey guys the poll results are up!!
Jihyun was what you'd call an 'it girl'. She had flawless hair and skin and could easily be mistaken for an idol.
Every year since 9th grade she made these polls on her blog to vote titles like; the best sense of humor, best fashion sense and best personality─as you can see, they were all nice things since her blog was monitored by the school committee but she still ran it and because of that I was never mentioned.
Besides I didn't want to participate because I didn't believe in labels anyway and i didn't necessarily care for them either. In fact, i thought the biggest problem humanity faced was labeling.
I wasn't going to check them.
That was until something unusual happened though.
Jihyun: [link]
She sent a link for a different website rather than the one, the monitored one, she usually posted the results on.
I clicked on it because I had nothing better to do and the teacher was busy scribbling on the board anyway. When i took that decision though, i only expected a mere website change, but to my dismay jihyun added two new categories.
The one who'll end up as a cheap prostitute: Park Yura
The one who looks like a tractor ran over her face: Park Yura
They both had my name under them along with a sign a golden sign next to it which indicated that most people (more than 90%) voted on it. It also meant that most of the kids at school did indeed hate me.
I did say that i never cared about labels, but i never said that they didn't hurt─i clenched my fists and looked around me to see everyone looking right back at me.
I was laughing at the fact that i actually thought that my day could be okay, not good but just okay. I thought I was pathetic.
Humiliation kicked in followed by the desire to just break down and cry─i really wanted to just scream and yell and sob but no, i can't let them win, i can't let them get what they want.
The teacher was obliviant to the cliche scene of a girl getting bullied by everyone and how every single person in the room except for me and her were giggling, gossiping and pointing.
I didn't have to suck it up for too long since the bell did ring acting as my only savior in this hell hole─i got too weak though, i ran, i just couldn't last in there one more minute. The pain of receiving all the hateful comments being thrown my was excruciating but i couldn't show it, i just wanted to leave.
I bumped into a figure on my way out and i could only assume that it was Jungkook because he was the only one who would genuinely take the time to ask if i was fine─i couldn't look him in the face though so i just ran away.
I kept running with tears threatening to spill. I was so involved in my thoughts and drowning in self pity that I hadn't even notice that i was back home─i didn't notice that i got out of school 25 minutes ago.
I opened up the door a little more aggressively than i intended to and dashed up stairs blocking out all the questions my mum asked.
I didn't care what she had to say, what people in my school had to say or what anyone had to say anymore. I just wanted to lock myself up and cry as much as i wanted to, or was that really hard to obtain?
I got into my room instantaneously closing the door and crawling up the bed expecting myself to just break down and cry till my eyes and throat went dry but i didn't─i just let a few tears slip and did what i always did. I kept it in.
Why is this happening to me though?
What have I done?
These were questions I would always ask but never get an answer to, questions I'd lay sprawled out on my bed for hours trying to figure out─what could I have possibly done to deserve this? I would always end up contemplating my existence and the reasoning behind it─was i merely a punching bag for others?
I glanced at the clock next to me in a haze to find that it was 6:58 pm.
Should I?
I was having really scary thoughts take over my mind─I was lonely and i needed company and help. Even if it was from a perverted stranger.
➖
A/N:: damn this chapter was even longer than the jihope smut i wrote before