Chapter 14
I was being shaken awake again. Only this time, it was in a much more panicked manner.
"Get up!" he hissed down at me and in the next second, my eyelids flew open at being shook and yelled at. Looking up into him, all I could see was the outline of him leaning down over me from where he stood besides the bed. His arms stretched out over me, grabbing me and shaking me.
I had no clue what to think. I was half asleep so to be honest, not much was going through my head at the moment. However I was somewhat stunned at whatever the hell this was. I looked around to see what the 'emergency' was. When I found the rest of my bedroom in peace, and the clock that read 2:37, I was already half asleep when he woke me so I was in no hurry over anything.
"What the hell?" I moaned, blinking and trying to adjust better to the darkness as I looked up at him. "I'm sleeping, dumb-ass." Not in the mood, you could say. However, waking up more and seeing his hands still gripping my shoulders hard, I started to get a weird feeling this was actually kind of serious. I couldn't see his eyes but I could hear his rough breath, trembling in the air and I didn't like it.
He didn't wait to try to convince me to get up. Luke gripped my arm and sat me up, hauling my body forward from where my weight fought to stay down on the bed. Moaning, I could feel his hands reposition themselves, one on my back and one on my arm still, shaking me a little more.
More worried over what his problem was and not that he was bruising my arm most likely, I watched his figure was already in motion before I could get my thoughts straight. "You need to hide right now!" he said, and this time, he fully pulled me through the darkness and by the time he forced me to stand up, he didn't stop. Forced to manage my own weight and wake up to the point of having the ability to walk, he pulled me through the bedroom door before I even knew what was happening. I could feel the fear enter me at seeing how shook up he was. After all, it wasn't everyday the dude wakes up in the middle of the night to drag me out of bed and through the house.
"What's going on?" I asked, stumbling behind him as he dragged me into the bathroom down the hall, shutting the door behind us in the darkness with a rough slam.
There was no time for silence between us. He didn't turn the lights on either, which was kind of unsettling because by this point, I felt the need to see his eyes. I needed to see his face to read him, to see what the hell he was feeling, to see the degree to which he was in of being shook up. I never did get to though. The second that door slammed behind us and we were standing before each other in the bathroom, his hands still tight on me, he didn't hesitate to explain.
"They are here. I got the call from the station, I saw the cameras. There is a car parked outside across our driveway and I saw some people get out, heading towards the house. It's them. Stay here," he said in a hurry and before I could even register his words, I felt him press something hard against my open palm at my side. It was as if it came out of nowhere since I didn't see anything occupying his grasp besides me. Making me wrap my fingers around it, I realized what it was with a gasp.
He was giving me a gun.
We knew this was coming. Soon. We knew this was going to happen. Yet there was a part of my brain that just hadn't fully accepted it. I came to the realization that I just waved off everything - the precautions, the seriousness, and how dangerous this was. Because I figured, no matter what their plan was, something would happen. Whether they chicken out, or the cops get them before they even show up... I was wrong to expect something along those lines. Unlike me though, Luke was ready - he was always ready and prepared. Saying those words though, it sent shock waves over me.
He was going to leave me here. Fight them on his own. That was the plan, after all but I didn't realize how that would impact me, the thought of him going down there and fighting them off. They wouldn't be getting arrested in my mind. They came here to kill me, something that was in their heart to do. They wouldn't stop fighting. They would try to kill Luke and in return, he would shoot them down, no doubt. Either way, people were about to die tonight.
"Wait, wait," I said, in a breath that just seemed knocked out of me. Grabbing his arm as I felt him turn away and let me go, about to leave the door, he couldn't go yet. "You can't go! I need to go with you!"
"No!" he said in a rough voice. "Stay here. Only use this gun if they come in here. Don't leave this bathroom, no matter what you hear."
Everything he said was running in my head on a wheel, over and over and I felt as if I was going to be sick. Too much, too fast, add a gun, and I was ready to pass out. My breath was out of control by now. Because the reality of the situation hit me. Whether I was ready for that reality or not, this was happening now.
They were here. Right now. He could die tonight. And if he dies or they get around him somehow, they could find me. That's why Luke was giving me this gun now. In case something went wrong, I needed to be prepared. But the fear that was pulsing in me now had nothing to do with them finding me. It had to do with the knowledge that Luke was going out there to face them! And he didn't even know how many of them were there.
"Don't move," he said sternly one more time and before I could protest anymore, I heard him open up the bathroom door and swiftly make his way out as he shut the door behind him. I heard him lock it from the inside so they wouldn't be able to get in as easily.
I stood there, frozen and stunned, blinking in the darkness of the bathroom. My heart pounded, my stomach rolled, and my legs felt shaky, as if with the weight of the gun that was resting in my hand was too heavy.
This was it. Gunshots would go off. That could have been the last time I see him, I thought.
I shook my head the instant I thought such a thing, a soft and vulnerable moan escaping me that I didn't expect from the pit of my stomach. No, no. He wouldn't. He wouldn't go down. Like he said before, he was a trained cop and not at all worried. He knew how to handle situations like this.
I kept saying those words in my head, repeating them. But it was only because I didn't want to face what could happen, what might happen. I took deep breaths. Looking down at where I knew the gun to be in my hand, I swallowed and leaned against the door as my thoughts ran wild and the impulse filled me to go out there and find him, help him.
Terrified and listening, my ear against the door and straining to get even a sliver of a noise at what could be happening, I could barely stand it. The only thing I heard was Jack barking and I couldn't have been more thankful that he was in his cage tonight. He knew something was going on but as long as he is in his cage, I was relieved even if just the slightest bit.
I didn't want to be in here. I didn't want this. I felt weak, I felt sick being the one needing protection. And the worst part was that the man I love just went out there to fight for me, willing to die.
That was the absolute worst thought. Because when it registered he could die for me, I couldn't handle it. Clenching my teeth in absolute fear for him, all I wanted in the world then was swing the door open and go after him, help him. I can't let him die for me. I couldn't have that over my head, couldn't let him give it up for me when I would give my life for him.
I wanted the roles to be switched. They came for me, I should be the one to fight back, to fight for my life and not him. Eyes closing tightly shut, I felt my hand grasp the side of the sink; it was all that was keeping me there. Because that's what Luke said. He said to stay put and in his mind, that's what counted. But in my mind, that was a sissy's game and a risk for him to die.
Clenching my teeth, taking even breaths as best as I could, I came to the realization then: I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I let him die out there alone for me.
The muscles in my hand holding onto the counter of the sink died then and flew to the doorknob. I unlocked the door and after another breath, I clenched the gun in my hand tighter, and swung the door open.
I stood there, still and silent in the darkness of the house. I didn't know where Luke was; he was probably waiting for the right time. They should be at the house by now, I would have thought. They weren't in the house yet was all I knew.
I moved towards the stairs and though I knew they weren't in the house yet, I wasn't risking being cautious. However, by the time I was on my first step down, the silent night erupted and the suspicious peace was unmasked as I heard a loud noise: a gunshot and with it, the sound of a loud crash that hit my delicate ears.
It was the door, I realized after a moment of trying to place what that crash could have been. They just busted the door open and with that gunshot, this was it. This was real and it was happening.
After that first gunshot was nothing but the echo. Then another shot rang through the air and another until all that was going through my head was whether Luke was okay. I heard someone yell loudly in a low voice after that third shot, "What the fuck?!"
Another shot rang through the air and following it was the sound of people, people running through the floors downstairs and shouting. It hurt my heart; because those were a lot of footsteps making a noise. There were more than one or two people and when I heard them move, I swallowed everything going through my head and slowly inched down the next step, getting closer to the point where I could see the downstairs.
I was hidden in the shadows on the stairs and I knew it. Slowly, I made my way down and everything was silent again. I was close to the point where I could see through the railing enough to see them. Then I heard a voice, one across the room aimed at someone else in what was a whisper. "Find her, and I got whoever this lunatic is firing back...."
Heart beating faster than ever before, I knew I needed to help, do it now. I moved down one more step and with it, I leaned down, looking out into the living room. With the door busted down and the moonlight shining in, flooding the whole living room, my eyes searched the entire place, all directions my sight could reach.
My eyes were attracted to the first movement I saw and that was of a figure standing off near the entrance of the kitchen and slowly beginning to move towards the hall towards the back of the house. I knew it wasn't Luke; I could see his face well enough. He actually looked very familiar but I couldn't place it because it was still quite dark.
It didn't matter though, I told myself. They were here to kill me. And though I've never killed anyone before, despite the countless rumors, this might happen. I accepted that. Because I needed to fight back and if they were willing to come in and kill me, I need to be willing to do the same. Did I want to kill? No, not at all. But Luke was here somewhere and I just knew I needed to do something to help, even if it meant doing a gruesome deed that he would have to do.
I raised the gun out before me at an angle, pointing it towards the man that began walking towards the hall and would soon be out of my sight since I could only see so much. And without hesitating, I prepared to shoot. I aimed and I fired.
The loud ring burst in the air and it buzzed through my ears. After that, everything seemed to happen very quickly. My eyes searched for the man I just shot at desperately, needing to see if I hit him. My heart pounding so deeply in my chest to my stomach, I felt everything crash down at seeing him still standing there, backing up quickly when he looked towards me. He saw me too after I missed him. He saw I tried to shoot him and since I missed, it gave me away to the man.
"There's the bitch!" I heard someone else yell. But the mans eyes finding mine, wide and surprised to see a second person firing and missed him, I figured he would come after me next. But when another shot rang out, this time attracting my eyes towards where it was coming from, the kitchen, I knew that he wouldn't take another step in his life. Witnessing all this within a second of when each movement happened, my eyes drew towards the kitchen where the fire had come from out in the room.
My eyes found him. Luke fired that shot as he was behind the wall of the kitchen and I could see a sliver of him from where I was. Clearly though, he had a good shot at the guy from where he was because in the next fast second, the guy I tried to shoot at and missed terribly was now on the ground. Eyes wide and staring at Luke, he emerged from the kitchen out in the open and before I knew it, he swiftly raised his gun up and aimed it to a spot just below me on the ground floor. Not a few feet under me and at a man heading towards the stairs, I didn't even realize.
Gasping, I saw that man hit the ground from where Luke shot him too. Shocked at how close he was, that a man just dropped dead not a few feet away, my head jerked back to where Luke was and as if this were so simple to him, he spun towards the hall and shot again, shooting at someone that I couldn't see. And you can bet after that shot, I heard someone else hit the floor.
Fear was pumping through me at a steady rate but after that third person hit the floor down the hall where I couldn't see, everything was strictly silent in the house again. Nothing. No more gun shots, no more men in Luke's sight, there was nothing left, just stillness of the night. Even Jack stopped barking a while ago, probably scared at hearing those gun shots. But it ended just as quickly as it had begun. And after those quick moments, the seconds ahead stretched with the silence and I knew as I just stood there, looking down at a still Luke, that this was over. They were dead and we were alive.
Seconds. All before my eyes in a flash, it happened so fast after I shot at that man and missed. The next second after I did that, Luke came out of the kitchen and shot all three guys in literally three seconds. The one I tried shooting, one down the hall, and one that was coming up by the stairs only feet from me. I felt absolutely ashamed of myself, thinking he needed help when he managed to take those asshole down without another thought. And what did I do? I shot at an intruder and missed. Yeah, some help I was.
However, those thoughts only registered after the shock of what happened. I was shaking in place, letting the effect hit me from what just happened. Three men dead in my house in three seconds, one shot within a couple feet from me. Chills ran across my body, up my arms and to my neck. It surprisingly didn't last long. I was calm and okay, breathing steadily after forcing it to stay even. I was fine, Luke was fine, and call me selfish but that's all I could care about, not that he just killed three men. That didn't mean I wasn't shaking though like I said.
I felt the gun in my inexperienced hand feel so much more advanced for me now. I hated it. Even after it was all done, I felt the shame in knowing I did nothing. I did nothing that helped Luke. I probably even made it worse, disrupting whatever it was Luke was planning to do. Nonetheless he did it but I still felt stupid for thinking he would need my help. My thoughts on the matter remained stern though, stupid or not, and that was I didn't want him to die for me.
Slowly, I moved down the rest of the stairs before I was now in the living room, staring at Luke dazed from across the room. And his eyes didn't hold back, staring down into mine. The moonlight flooding in lit his features clearly since he was closer to where the door use to be. That wasn't such a good thing in my book because since I was able to see his expression, chills went up my body just from that.
"What it is that was so complicated to understand in the words 'stay here?' What was so difficult to understand in those two words, hmm?" He said it slowly, in a threatening way almost. It was clear he was angry with what I did.
"Well I--"
"Later," he shook his head, scowling. His whole body was noticeably shaking too but I had a feeling it wasn't from just shooting three guys. With his tight words, I knew this wasn't the time to yell at me or talk about what happened. No, three men were laying dead around the house. That was the first priority, not the stupid idiot of the year leaving the bathroom expecting to actually maybe do something helpful.
What happened after occurred in a blur. We went upstairs to get Clare, who Luke apparently sent to hide in their bathroom. She followed his directions to hide where I didn't. That was probably the only time she did something right. Of course though, she'd be the last one to come out and fight if her husband was in danger.
The cops came soon after and everything was flashing red and blue lights, cleaning up the bodies, and talking to us. With the lights on now, I could clearly see who the cops were zipping up in a bag. Gage was among them, one of the guys that came by and beat me up on behalf of Mark months ago. A man, the one I tried to shoot, was a guy by the name of Tristan Deleroy. I stole from him too and even before that, we didn't get along. In fact, he hated me quite a bit to where he was one of the many people that beat me up. He was still apart of the group though, which was peachy. Now, he lays dead on the living room floor. The other man that was shot was one I never saw before.
They spoke to us individually on that matter and we had to tell them what happened. Of course, I wasn't dumb enough to confess to my idiotic move. Nobody needed to know that the crazy girl had a gun and tried to use it tonight, regardless of who it was aimed at. It would also look bad on Luke's part. Nobody needed to know that a cop, one of their own, taught his insane stepdaughter how to shoot a gun. Clare didn't even know.
Clare was the first one done then me soon after. Luke though had a long night ahead of him, talking it all out to his fellow officers. Of course, he wasn't on duty right now so he had to clearly point out he was forced to shoot them. No doubt there would be paperwork on this for him when he goes back into work.
In the officer's eyes, everything went smoothly thanks to Luke. They entered the home and he took then down (which he did essentially do). However, Luke knew it went less than smooth because of my stupid move.
Clare went up to sleep after she was done speaking with the officers at about 4:00. Sure shows how shook up she was over three dead bodies and her husband being the one that shot them. Even though she wasn't involved, you figure she would have stayed up and 'supported' her daughter. She always was bad at showing others she cared. It could come and backfire on her since we were getting evidence to lock her ass up.
Unlike her, I couldn't fall asleep - which maybe was okay for a change. I went up to my room at 4:50 while Luke was still talking to the officers downstairs. I felt bad when I saw Jack in his cage. He was sitting up, shaking pretty badly when he saw me enter the room.
"It's okay now, buddy," I said, kneeling down towards the cage on the floor besides my bed and where Luke's was on the floor. Unlatching the cage, I reached in and picked him up, setting him down on my bed as I laid down myself, Jack coming up to me with his tail down and I started to gently pet him, hoping he would calm down soon enough at my touch.
Though I was laying down in bed, I didn't want to fall back asleep. I just stared out into the early morning after opening my blinds and through the bars - which Luke could probably take down now. Who knows though, they might come back seeing that I am still alive.
It was something I didn't want to ponder or worry over at the moment. I just laid there, replaying everything that happened in my head. Slowly moving down the stairs, trying to shoot Tristan, then Luke coming in and shooting them all down in three seconds. So fast, three dead... ugh. I needed to remember though that they got what they deserved in my eyes. If only one of them had been Clare, then I would have considered it to be a pretty okay night.
I heard the cops leave after everything was cleaned up and done - which was at the break of daylight entering the early morning sky at 6:48. The small spurt of light that was mingling with the dark moved into my room and lit it just barely enough to see. Streaks of orange light colored my walls and bed, including myself. By that time, Jack was asleep against me as I continued to pet him, glancing out into the early sky from my window.
I knew Luke wanted to talk to me - most likely yell at me. And after the cops left, it wasn't that long until I heard my bedroom door creek open, the sound instantly silencing my hand on Jack. My heart jumping, I knew it was time to get bitched out; I internally sighed.
Continuing to lay there though, facing the window, my back to him, I didn't move to show him I was awake. Maybe he would think I'm asleep and leave me alone. However, I heard him close the door behind him quietly and move towards me more, his footsteps louder by the time he reached the side of my bed. I felt his eyes on me, on my back and burning a hole through the back of my head. My eyes resting now on Jack, waiting for him to leave or do something, there was nothing for what seemed to be the longest second.
Then I felt him slowly sit down on the edge of the bed and I could feel his eyes still on me. I figured that I might as well get this little chat over with. Sighing, I turned over from where I was facing the window to come and see him sitting there, turned towards me. Resting on my other side now, staring up into his eyes, I just waited. He didn't disappoint.
His eyes were tired, his body surely even more so. I saw how deep those lines seemed to run over his face and I could understand he was very tired by this point in the morning of a new day. His lips set in a straight line, his face remained blank for the most part. His eyes gave him away though and I saw the anger that was there earlier, just not as much, enter them at the same time as sympathy too.
"Why did you come out of the bathroom?" he asked in a hard voice.
"It was getting stinky in there," I murmured, looking down and away from his eyes.
"This isn't a joke," he said louder, not happy that I wasn't taking this seriously. What he didn't know was that I was taking it seriously. I just didn't want him knowing the real reason because it was just plain embarrassing considering it didn't have the effect that I wanted - to help him and I didn't.
"I know it isn't," I whispered, looking back up into his eyes. Sighing, I sat up so we were at eye level, propping myself up with my hands, my legs outstretched next to him under the covers. Turning towards me even more from where he sat on the edge of the bed, he waited for some form of a better explanation. I guess I had to give him one so it ought to be part of the truth. "I don't like feeling weak, do you understand?" I asked a little sharply back.
"So your okay with feeling stupid?" he asked, eyebrows lowering in more anger that I didn't like.
I scowled. "Look, it's not like me to sit back and let you do everything when they were there for me. If they are there for me, I should help. Not let you do all the work while I sit back like a coward! You showed me how to use a gun so I might as well put that to use!"
After a silent minute passed between us, he groaned, looking down and took a deep breath. "Albany, do you understand just how dangerous that was for you?" he asked me, looking back up and this time, his eyes were begging. "Do you not know the position you put not only yourself in but me in? I had everything under control. Did you see how quickly I shot those guys; it was simple and over in a second? I thought you understood that it's my job to do this kind of stuff. I only gave you the gun in case something went wrong - which would have been a long shot!" He was nearly yelling now.
I swallowed. "Look, I'm sorry I tried to help you. And yeah, it was an embarrassing favor but its worth risking it than sitting back in a bathroom, angry you have to go and do this for me."
"No it was not worth it! You could have died. Tonight you could have died, don't you get that?" He hissed. "I don't care how you were fucking feeling - whether a coward or not! You could have died.... And the last thing I want is for you to kill someone! I know how it feels, Albany. To kill someone and let me tell you, it was a blessing you missed him because you don't want to have that on your conscious! It kills a part of you, killing, and it's not some game!" He paused, trying to calm down a little. And his words were working. I didn't realize how stupid it was. I didn't want to kill someone. I knew it took it's toll on Luke silently and I was grateful that was one thing I didn't need to face. But he just didn't understand why I really did it but with his next words, he showed he was determined to find out. "You know the value of your life. And you wouldn't risk it over feeling like a coward; I know you wouldn't. It was not anger that made you leave that bathroom. So why don't you tell me the truth because you keep avoiding it. Why did you try to help me?" He read right through me. I hated it, how he could do that. I mean, everything I said was true. He just knew there was more to the reason I was willing to help and risk my life.
I groaned and tried to play it off. "Listen, I'm tired and have had enough for the night. Do you think we could talk more about this tomorrow?"
"No," he said instantly.
I groaned. "Why?"
"Because I want the full answer."
I started to get defensive. "It's not my fault I want to fight my own battles, okay? I'm sorry I don't want you to die for me! I don't need that on my chest, knowing you died for me and it would have been hard enough you dying. But knowing it would have been my fault is just too damn much! I at least needed to try to lower those chances, help you in some way, even if it backfired in my face!" I was sitting forward now, closer so I could shout in his face. I didn't intentionally do it - or intentionally let the full reason slip - but I did and now he knows.
His eyes grew as he stared down at me, shocked by my reason. Gritting my teeth in anger at myself, I crossed my arms and moved back more, resting my back against the head board. Stupid loud-mouth me. Exhaling deeply, I tried keeping up my strong face but knowing him, he could probably see right through it, the smart bastard.
"You were afraid of me dying? And dying for you?" he asked, his voice soft as well as his eyes. I hated it. It was better when he was mad at me.
"Well yeah," I said, pissed still, and not wanting him to see how vulnerable I felt right then.
I saw him purse his lips and look down at the bed. I noticed his eyebrows stitch together, conflicted over this for some reason. Looking back up at me, the silence stretching again, he spoke. "I want you to understand something," he said gently. "There are reasons I do the things I do, risk my life. That is my choice and if I die, that will be on me."
"But what if you die for me? It's going to be my fault," I said biting my bottom lip after hearing my voice crack slightly.
I saw a soft and loving smile come to his face, one of sadness. "There's a reason I'd die for you," he said quietly, looking down and it took him a moment before he continued to speak again, all the while I was hanging on those words. "Not just because I'm a cop but because my life is worth giving up for getting the life you deserve. All I want is for you to be happy because you deserve it after a life of just misery."
I internally kicked all sides of myself for how close I felt to breaking. The thought of him dying... tore me up. Yes we have been in a situation before where he saved my life and risked his when saving me from his truck covered in gasoline. But I never considered the consequences of him really dying - for me. He seemed so perfect that he just couldn't die. I faced reality though and I didn't like it tonight.
"I don't want you to die for me," was all I could say at the moment because his words wouldn't do it. It didn't matter if he would die for a good cause, for me, even if it was his choice. He would still die. And after pausing, that pushed me to say more. "I don't understand how you could give it all up, give your life up for mine... when you have so much. Your family, your future ahead of you, and memories of a good life for the most part. I can't- can't handle you doing that for me. I have enough of a fucking time thanking people for a damn present! I wont accept you doing that for me! You can't die for me! If anything, I'd die for you! You have given me so much and it's suffocating me! Don't give up your life for me too! It's too much!" I said, surprisingly nearly hysterical sounding.
He moved closer to me instantly and I felt him take my hand in his, gripping it tightly while his other arm kept him propped up from where he was sitting. Feeling the warmth spread over me, his grasp somehow helped before he spoke. "Hey, hey," he said, getting hit with all my words at once and wanting me to calm down a bit. Taking a deep breath, I found his eyes staring at me, a new light in them. At the same they remained understanding. "You can't make my choices for me. I will die for you if I want to."
"Well I don't want you too."
He surprised me with his lips slightly tilting up in an amused smile, looking down for a moment before back up to me. "You are so stubborn. You think just because you don't want me to means I wont? You and I have more in common than it would appear. We both do what we want, what we think is best, no matter what I want or what you want. I wanted you to stay put but that didn't stop you. And you can't stop me."
I sighed, running a hand through my loose hair. I didn't like what he said but I understood. If that was his choice, to die for me, sure it would ruin me if he died. But that was his choice and not mine, no matter how crushed I would be. "Then you better not fucking die. Got it? Or I will be very mad at you."
When I saw his sly smirk turn into a beautiful full smile and laugh, I couldn't help but smile back up at him. "Alright, understood," he nodded. Smiling down to me, he searched my face for a moment and though the silence was loud and clear, he just continued to smile and stare at me and embarrassingly enough, I was probably doing the same thing.
Moving his hand back, seeing as I felt better, he moved to stand up from the bed a minute later. Facing me from where he now stood, looking down to me, he continued, happy that whole thing was cleared up. He continued with a different subject that mattered just as much it seemed. "Now, I have no idea if this gang will still be after you or not," he said, more serious now. "Until Francis is able to find out, I need to continue to stick to your side and sleep on floor as we have been."
He has to continue sleeping on my floor. What a shame.
"When do you think Francis will be able to talk with them?"
"Soon. Few days at the most then he will tell us what's going on."
I nodded understanding. I wasn't sure what would happen though. It was a toss up in my opinion. I could understand why they would still be after me because I didn't die and I could understand if they are just sick of bothering with me. Until we found out though, that meant everything will go on as if we are still in lock-down. Hopefully, Francis would talk with them soon though. I wanted to know if another night like this will be repeating any time soon.
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Hope you enjoyed :) I plan to update soon again, hopefully.