She's so pretty.
Taylor's entire face is hot and she's not really sure as to why. She's drunk, and has been for about an hour, but it's been pretty tame so far. She's only cried on Selena's shoulder twice and forgotten where she is once. All in all, it's been a pretty good night. But now there's a super pretty waitress lady looking down at them and all Taylor can think about is how super pretty she is. Like, she could seriously be a model.
Oh my god she's looking at me. Why are her eyes so green? Why is that allowed?
It's no secret that Taylor's a sucker for green eyes, and this girl's eyes are like slates of jade. Taylor wishes she could get a closer look at them. She doesn't have a name tag like the other waitress had, and Taylor pouts a little because she wants to know her name so badly. Taylor's so lost in her thoughts that she doesn't even notice when the waitress walks away. She looks up and sees that she and her friends are alone once again, and the disappointment blooms in her chest before she can stop it. She knows it's irrational, but that doesn't keep the sullen pout off of her face.
"She's hot." Selena muses as she sips at the last of her margarita. It's her fourth one, and it's amazing that Cara and Selena can even formulate words. Then again, they've always been a lot better at holding their liquor than Taylor could ever hope to be. She still gets drunk off of too much wine.
"I liked the other girl better." Cara mumbles, looking dejected. Cara has been flirting with their waitress all night, and Taylor would bet money that the girl had finally gotten fed up and begged her coworker to take the table for her to avoid hearing any more awful pickup lines.
"Too bad she didn't like you." Selena snorts into her glass and then nudges Taylor, nodding towards the spot where the pretty waitress lady had just been standing. "She was hot, right Tay?"
Taylor wonders why Selena is asking for her input. She's the only one at this table who hasn't dabbled with the fairer sex. That doesn't mean she can't spot a beautiful woman, though, and that waitress was undoubtedly stunning.
"She was okay." Taylor shrugs her shoulders sluggishly, trying to play it cool.
"You were eye fucking her." Cara's voice is louder than Taylor would normally appreciate, but she's so drunk that she doesn't even tell her friend to quiet down.
"She was okay." Taylor repeats stubbornly. "You guys know I'm straight."
"Yeah, okay. She was totally your type! Tall as hell and green eyes." Selena presses, looking oddly determined to get Taylor to admit her attraction.
Taylor wants to point out that she looks for more in a person than how tall they are and what color their eyes are, but she knows it's just a headache waiting to happen. So instead, she purses her lips and just gives in, hoping it'll make her friends drop the subject. "She was pretty." Taylor relents.
Selena and Cara look triumphant but the conversation abruptly ends when the unnamed waitress returns. She's balancing three bottles of chilled water on a tray, along with a small bowl filled with pretzels. Apparently her friends have decided that it's time to start sobering up, and Taylor is relieved. The amount of tequila they've consumed is mind boggling, and Taylor's surprised that she hasn't thrown up yet. She's been taking it slower than her friends but she's still very, very drunk.
"I don't know how fresh the pretzels are but they're not expired so, yeah." The tall brunette lets out a little laugh as she sits the tray down and hands out the water bottles. Taylor gets hers last, and she can finally make out more details of the waitress's eyes. There's a ring of blue-green around her pupils, and Taylor swears she sees flecks of grey mixed in with the jade green. There's a smattering of freckles to the right of an adorable button nose, laid out like a constellation that Taylor wants to trace with her fingers. Her lips are thin and inviting, looking soft to the touch, and the natural arch of her eyebrows makes her stare that much more electrifying. Is it even legal to be that pretty? Taylor doesn't know if she wants to be her or be on top of her, and the thought makes her stiffen.
"This is probably lame but I'm such a big fan." The waitress straightens up, looking completely unaffected by the dilation of Taylor's pupils and her blatant staring. When Taylor says nothing, Selena nudges her sharply in the ribs. She jumps and lets out a surprised little yelp, banging her knee against the underside of the table. Her face gets even redder when she sees a little grin spread across the waitress's face. Taylor reminds herself to kill Selena when they get home. Maybe Cara will help her dispose of the body.
"Oh, um." Taylor tries to collect herself, formulating her words sluggishly thanks to how much tequila she's consumed. "Thanks for saying that! Quick, favorite song?"
"Love Story." Her answer is almost automatic, and Taylor grins widely.
"I've actually been thinking of doing a little revival of Love Story! Keep that on the down low though, it's a secret."
"My lips are sealed."
Taylor's eyes dart down to the waitress's lips. She only looks for a second but it's long enough to make all kinds of confusing thoughts run through her head.
"What's your name?" Selena is the one to ask, and she doesn't even attempt to hide the smirk that's plastered across her face.
"Karlie."
Selena nudges Taylor again, silently urging her to continue engaging the waitress in trivial conversation. For once, Taylor can think of nothing to say. You'd think being a world renowned songwriter and having her fair number of romantic encounters would prepare her for this kind of thing, but she is at a loss. It's disconcerting.
Seeing that her friend is drowning, Selena sighs and takes matters into her own hands once again. "So Karlie, do ya like girls?"
Taylor viciously shoots her leg out to kick Selena. She doesn't have the best aim while drunk – it's even questionable when she's sober – so her foot connects with Cara's shin instead. The model almost jumps out of her seat, a look of pain marring her face.
"Bloody hell! What the fuck?!" She hisses as she glares between Selena and Taylor, wondering who did it. Taylor whispers a panicked 'sorry!' hoping that Karlie doesn't pay the odd exchange much mind. When Taylor looks back up at Karlie, she can tell that the waitress is fighting a smile.
"So?" Selena presses, eyeing Karlie curiously.
"I like women."
The pointed correction isn't lost on Taylor. Does that mean she likes them older or something? And if so, how old? Betty White old or Sandra Bullock old? Taylor is neither of those things, and she feels the little sliver of hope in her chest wither away.
Why do I care anyway?
"Are we talking about cougars?" Cara raises an inquisitive eyebrow, still rubbing at her shin underneath the table. Karlie lets out a peal of laughter, and the sound pulls at Taylor's heartstrings. This girl is literal perfection. Even her laugh is cute.
"It's not really an age requirement, it's a maturity thing."
"Well Taylor here is super mature. Like, she's literally twenty-four going on fifty." Selena is not subtle at all. Karlie flashes Taylor a little smile, her green eyes twinkling. Taylor wishes the floor would open up and swallow her whole, because all she can do is flush red and give an awkward grin back. She knew she should've just had a nice, tame night in. She could be curled up on the couch watching Law and Order with a cup of tea and her cats lying at her feet. Instead, she's sitting in a dingy bar while her friends mercilessly embarrass her.
"Yeah, so you should totally give her your number." Cara adds.
Taylor's entire world comes crashing down around her. She lets out an indignant noise but her friends ignore her, not even glancing in her direction. As if they're not trying to set her up with some bar waitress! A beautiful bar waitress, but a bar waitress!
"Okay." Karlie takes a pen out of one of the little pockets on her apron, and starts to scribble on her notepad. When she's finished, she rips the paper off of the notepad and bites her lip as she hands it to Taylor.
No way.
Taylor takes it, her eyes wide and disbelieving as she gazes at the ten digits. Karlie has even written her name on it, as if Taylor would forget who the number belonged to. As if Taylor wouldn't remember those jade green eyes and those incredible cheekbones for the rest of her life.
"Just try not to lose that while you're here. The guys around here are pretty dedicated when it comes to asking me out, I'd have to shut off my phone." Karlie looks so nonchalant, and it actually unnerves Taylor a little.
Karlie leaves after that, needing to get back to her job. Taylor sits there and stares down at the paper while Selena and Cara congratulate themselves on a job well done.
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"I tell you to go right, you go left. I say go up, and you go down." Derek is fuming, pacing while he speaks. "What the fuck were you thinkin' Karls? Wait, never mind! You weren't thinking! If you had been thinking, you would've stayed a hundred feet away from Taylor Swift!"
Karlie rolls her eyes at his dramatics and continues to wipe down the bar with the rag in her hand. She doesn't think she did anything bad. It could've been a lot worst. It's not like she had bent Taylor over a table or something. Derek has no idea how agonizing it was to just give the girl her number and walk away. It's like putting a bag of heroin in front of an addict, giving him a little taste, and then taking it away from him.
"Her friends were just trying to get her out of her shell, she's not going to call me."
"It's not even about that! I gave you an order and you went against it."
Jourdan suddenly distances herself from the bar, shuffling away awkwardly with the broom in her hand as Karlie sets blazing green eyes on her boss.
"I don't take orders from anyone, Derek. If I wanted to be treated like a child I'd have stayed with my family. Nothing happened."
Derek continues to silently fume but says nothing. Karlie goes back to cleaning but now she's angry and it shows on her face. She's so sick of everyone treating her like some kind of porcelain doll. Her parents, Doctor Bennett, Derek. Only Jourdan understands. She treats her like she's a normal human being, and not some sex craved deviant. Everyone else tries to control her, tries to put her in a box that she'll never fit in.
"I didn't mean to flip out, Karls." Derek says slowly, breaking the awkward and tense silence.
"Whatever. I don't know what the big deal is, anyway. Taylor Swift is the poster girl for heteronormativity. Her friends were just fucking with her."
Derek nods but there's still a cloud of uncertainty weighing down his shoulders. He goes into the back, probably to gather his things for the drive home, and Karlie sighs as she rests her forehead against the bar. Jourdan rests a hand on her head, giving her a sympathetic pat.
"He's an asshole sometimes. I'm proud of you for resisting, babe. I know it was hard."
Karlie's heart warms a little. That's all she's ever wanted in life, for her friends and family to look at her and say 'I'm proud of you for trying'. Jourdan's the only one who says that. She's the only one who gets it.
"Thanks Jour."
After closing up the bar for the night, Karlie and Jourdan walk home together. They share a small two bedroom apartment not too far from the bar. It's ridiculously expensive, like everything else in the city, but they get by. Jourdan works a second job during the day at a nice restaurant in lower Manhattan and Karlie gets monetary assistance from her family in exchange for putting up with therapy. Between the two of them, they manage to scrape together the rent and have just enough left over for food, electricity, and a shared Netflix subscription. It's not easy but anything's better than the hell Karlie escaped from.
They eat the leftovers that they managed to snag from the bar, sitting on the worn out brown couch in the living room. Karlie washes the food down with a beer because she thinks she's earned it after the night she's had.
Jourdan goes to bed first, and gives Karlie a tight hug before shuffling into her bedroom. Karlie sits there for a long while, sipping at her now flat beer and mulling over the weird night she has had. She eventually retires to her room as well, stripping out of her clothes the second her bedroom door closes behind her. Telling herself she'll shower in the morning, Karlie falls face first onto her bed. Sleep claims her almost immediately.
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A week has gone by, and Karlie's almost completely forgotten about Taylor Swift and the fact that the popstar somehow ended up in her place of work. She's currently jogging around the affluent neighborhood of Tribeca. She's about a mile and a half into her Sunday run and still has half a mile to go before she can turn around and head back to her apartment for a shower. Her steady pace comes to an abrupt stop when she sees how congested the street she's just turned on is. The sidewalk is completely blocked by a wall of bodies. She sees camera flashes and hears the distant sound of loud, excited voices.
Karlie assumes it's some celebrity walking around, especially since Tribeca's known to have some pretty famous residents. She sighs and decides to cross the street. It disrupts her entire jog because she has to wait at the crosswalk until the traffic light turns red. She finds herself silently cursing whoever's attracting the paparazzi, and her mood sours as the mass of bodies get closer. All of the photographers are walking backwards, stumbling over themselves as they try to scream questions, take pictures and walk at the same time. The traffic light turns yellow, and Karlie prepares to cross.
"Karlie?"
Her head whips up at the sound of her name. She almost doesn't hear it because her music is playing on low volume and the paparazzi are now right by her ear. She feels a sense of dread overtake her when she sees Taylor Swift's shining blue eyes trained on her. She's flanked by two bodyguards and another broad shouldered one is walking in front of her, making sure she has room to walk. Karlie feels stupid for not making the connection. She knows that Taylor lives in Tribeca – it was plastered all over the news when the singer moved to New York – and someone of her caliber would draw a large crowd wherever she went.
"Oh hey." Karlie turns so that her back is now facing the crosswalk, trying to ignore the few flashes now directed her way as the paparazzi try to figure out who she is. She pauses her music and flashes Taylor a little grin. "Going for a walk?"
Taylor smiles ruefully at the joke but it falls away quickly when a guy asks her a question about the decision on some lawsuit. It's a little impressive how Taylor can keep her emotions in check. One minute she's smiling and then she's expressionless and unapproachable, almost haughty.
"Sort of. Mind walking with me? I think they're multiplying."
Karlie presses her lips into a hard line, a 'no' about to roll off of her tongue. She's pretty serious about her jogs, and she still has half a mile to go. She ends up agreeing, going against the small voice in her head that's screaming at her to just say goodbye and cross over to the other sidewalk. Nothing good could come out of her spending time with Taylor Swift, especially with no one else around as a buffer.
There's not really any room for conversation. Taylor is able to completely block the paparazzi out but Karlie's nervous green eyes constantly glance at the camera lenses. It's like being in a fish bowl, and she's beginning to feel claustrophobic.
How can she deal with this? It's been two minutes and I'm already stressed.
Karlie wants to tell these guys to fuck off but she knows Taylor wouldn't appreciate it, so she keeps her mouth shut and her head down. They end up ducking into a small restaurant not too far from Karlie's apartment. She's never eaten there because it's ridiculously expensive – like, eleven dollars for a piece of toast – but she's heard good things.
They get a table tucked away in the back left corner, away from the windows and the prying eyes of other customers. Karlie hesitates while Taylor takes her seat. She shouldn't be here, and she knows it. Serving the singer a couple drinks at the bar is a lot different than sitting down and eating with her. They hardly know each other, so wouldn't this be weird? How can Taylor be so nonchalant, as if they're not complete strangers? Karlie sighs and sits in the chair across from Taylor, deciding she might as well get a meal out of this ordeal. She's hungry anyway.
"I'm sorry if this is a little weird. I was coming here anyway and then I saw you and you looked all sweaty and tired and I lost your number so I haven't like, texted you or anything—"
"Okay, whoa." Karlie laughs and holds up her hands. "It's cool. I didn't expect you to actually text me, your friends were just teasing you."
"What? No, it wasn't like that! I was totally gonna text you but then Selena threw up in the car on the ride back and it was all just so crazy. I don't even remember where I put the paper. I swear it was in my purse but I couldn't find it. I looked everywhere." Taylor looks frustrated as she recalls the events. Karlie notices that she gesticulates a lot when she's trying to get a point across. It's cute.
"Oh. Well I just assumed your friends were giving you a hard time."
"They were but I'd still like to talk to you, if that's okay? I don't really have many friends here so we should totally hang out."
This is an odd and foreign experience for Karlie. She doesn't really have friends aside from Jourdan, and sometimes Derek when he's not being an asshole. Plus she's unbelievably attracted to Taylor, and there's nothing friendly about the thoughts running through her head at the moment. All Karlie can do is nod, not trusting her voice. Taylor levels her with a breathtaking smile and picks up her menu.
"I don't really have any cash with me." Karlie admits as she peruses the menu. The prices are indeed very ridiculous, and she wouldn't waste her money here anyway. It's nice that it's an exclusively vegan place but she could make most of this stuff at home.
"It's on me." Taylor insists airily, not even looking up from her menu.
"I'll pay you back."
"No it's fine! I'm the one who wanted to eat, don't worry about it."
Despite Taylor's generosity, Karlie tries to find the cheapest thing on the menu that appeals to her. Taylor ends up ordering a bunch of different things for them to share, deciding that Karlie needs to try a little bit of everything to get the full experience.
"So are you a vegan?"
"No." Taylor shakes her head, looking extremely amused. "My friend Jaime brought me to this place once and I fell in love with it. You?"
"Sort of. It gets expensive."
She feels a little awkward hinting at financial troubles, especially since Taylor is wearing an outfit that could probably pay Karlie's half of the rent. Taylor just gives her an understanding grin. There's no pity, and Karlie appreciates that.
"So I'm still trying to figure out how you ended up in a dive bar." Karlie attempts to lighten the mood after their food comes out. They've been sitting there in relative silence for a few moments, and it's beginning to get stifling.
"My friends wanted to get me out of my apartment. You guys had a really good ambiance, I was totally feeling it! Until we left and Selena covered my backseat in vomit."
Karlie laughs, shaking her head as she picks at the fruit salad that she and Taylor have been sharing. She looks for another cantaloupe and cheers when she finds one towards the bottom of the bowl. After popping the entire piece into her mouth, she looks back up. She stops chewing when she sees that Taylor is staring at her, and then resumes when the blonde quickly looks away. Interesting.
Karlie likes to think that she's well-versed in deciphering body language, and her intuition has never once failed her. She sees the way Taylor's eyes dilate, and how pink her cheeks have gotten. Karlie continues to chew on her fruit, eyes never straying from Taylor. Maybe she was wrong about the singer being one hundred percent straight.
"You have a freakily intense stare." Taylor laughs shakily. "You could be a model or something."
Karlie gets a laugh out of that. She's been called beautiful before but no one's ever told her she could do something as serious as modeling.
"I don't think I'm cut out for that."
"Shut up, are you serious?! You're not serious. You're like..." Taylor trails off, waving both of her hands in Karlie's direction haphazardly. "Gorgeous."
Karlie smiles and says a quiet thank you, wondering why the compliment makes her feel so good. She's been told the same thing by dozens of people, usually before and during sex, yet hearing it from Taylor is a bit more exhilarating.
"It's actually a little disgusting. Like, what even are your cheekbones? Seriously."
"Okay now you're laying it on thick." Karlie rolls her eyes playfully.
The conversation is easier after that, and Karlie even learns a few things about the popstar. She's currently working on a highly anticipated album, has two insanely cute cats, and she loves to cook. Karlie knew about the cats, since Taylor's animals have their own fan base, but the mention of cooking piques her interest.
"I love to bake." Karlie admits. "Jourdan and I don't really have the kitchen for it though."
Taylor's smile falters for a split second. It's so quick that Karlie wonders if she imagined it.
"Jourdan?" Taylor's voice is now overly cheery, her smile a bit too wide.
"My roommate. She works at the bar with me."
"Oh." Taylor's body visibly relaxes, and her smile is once again genuine. There's a glimmer of relief in the blonde's eyes. "Sometimes I wish I had a roommate."
Karlie doesn't understand the appeal. Sure, she loves Jourdan, but if Karlie didn't have her own room she'd have gone berserk by now. Sometimes she just needs her privacy.
"Does your super lavish penthouse get lonely?" Karlie intends for it to be a joke, but it seems to fall short as Taylor shrugs.
"A little."
Taylor tries to keep her voice light and pleasant, but Karlie can see the sadness in her eyes. It gives Karlie pause, and she finds herself at a lost. Taylor obviously needs to be comforted in some way but that's definitely not Karlie's area. She sits there feeling helpless for a couple minutes, watching as Taylor solemnly looks down at her cashew salad.
"Well you and I can hang out whenever. I'll put my number in your phone this time, so you won't lose it."
She knows she's said the right thing when Taylor's mood instantly brightens. The giddy smile on her face is breathtaking, and Karlie crosses her legs tightly at the sight. The constant state of being aroused is something that she's used to, but it's still a little mortifying. Taylor obliviously hands over her iPhone so that Karlie can add her number in. She enters her number slowly, silently trying to talk herself down from the ledge she's standing on.
Their fingers brush when Karlie hands back the phone. It sends a frightening jolt down her spine. Taylor doesn't seem to notice the odd look on Karlie's face, and glances down at her phone to add some emojis next to Karlie's name.
"You're definitely the sun emoji." Taylor says, her thumbs moving across her screen.
"Jourdan has me as that purple devil thing." Personally, Karlie thinks that that's a better representation of who she is.
"Nope, you're the sun emoji. This isn't up for debate."
"Because I'm as hot as the sun?"
"Actually it's because you have a really nice smile. You should try showing it more often, it's literal sunshine." Taylor says, looking flustered at Karlie's suggestive question.
No one's ever likened her to anything so positive before. Karlie's been called a lot of things in her life, and 'sunshine' definitely wasn't on the list. A small smile unwittingly forms on her face but she manages to hide it by shoving another piece of fruit into her mouth.
Their early brunch eventually comes to an end, and Karlie finds herself standing awkwardly by the restaurant's exit. The paparazzi outside have doubled in size and Karlie sees a blacked out Lincoln Navigator double parked by the curb. Taylor's security must have deemed it too risky for the popstar to walk back to her apartment. It's almost as if Taylor has her own secret service team.
"We could drop you off at your apartment." Taylor offers, looking up at Karlie with hopeful eyes.
This is where Karlie draws the line. She's already pushed her limits for the day – the week, really – and she can't fathom sharing the backseat of a car with Taylor. She'd rather walk.
"I'll walk, my apartment's close." A fifteen minute walk isn't bad at all, especially if she gets to keep her sanity in return. Or what little's left of it.
"Oh." Taylor visibly deflates. "Okay, I'll talk to you later?"
"Yeah."
Taylor eyes Karlie for a long moment, gnawing at a plump bottom lip. She steps forward for a hug. Karlie remains stiff throughout the entire exchange, not trusting herself in the slightest. She tries to ignore how dejected Taylor looks after she pulls away. The singer offers her another small smile, and Karlie can't help but notice how it doesn't reach her eyes. Taylor ducks outside and braves the sea of camera flashes to reach her waiting car. The paparazzi leave when Taylor does, and Karlie stands there until it's safe enough to start her walk home. She feels awful for saying bye to Taylor the way she did, but it was necessary. Taylor doesn't know what she is, and Karlie wants to keep it that way. Her addiction is something she keeps to herself, with only a select few knowing. It's a struggle that she intends to take to her grave. No one should have to bear her burden with her.
Karlie slips her earbuds back in as she traverses through Tribeca and towards the West Village. Ironically, Taylor's song Sad Beautiful Tragic starts to play on her shuffle. It feels like a bad omen, and Karlie changes it quickly. She breathes a sigh of relief when a Beyoncé song starts to flood through her earbuds. It's a lot safer.
She's waiting at a crosswalk when her phone vibrates in the palm of her hand. Her screen lights up with a text from an unknown number.
I better get a cute emoji, no pressure :)
Karlie lets out a laugh and then glances up to make sure she still has time before the light turns red. She does, so she browses through the emojis list to find one that would perfectly fit Taylor. Karlie settles for the princess emoji. The one with the blonde hair, blue eyes and red lips. Even the crown atop her head seems appropriate.
There are conflicting emotions warring inside Karlie's head. Lust, reluctance, excitement. The most poignant is the sense of doom that washes over her as she saves Taylor's number into her phone.