Rina
“You really like her, don’t you?” She thought aloud as I hung up.
“Problem with that?”
“But what’s the reason? I mean, … what’s the reason?”
“’cause we’re sisters?” I questioned back, without trailing off ‘cause if there’s anyone on this planet not gonna mock me for this, it was Liz.
“How do you even know she’s …,” I didn’t know what she saw on my face but she stopped short of the sentence,” … argh, never mind.”
“What?!”
“Nothing.”
“Elizabeth, say what you were gonna say …”
“Or what? You gonna do what?”
“I’ll … I’ll go home.”
A stupid smirk grew on her lips as she gave me this over-the-top once-over.
“Really? You’re already in my PJs. Your cash book is in my bag. And … ” she beat me to it before I could react, and triumphed, “now, your phone is in my hand.”
I muttered something incoherent even to my own ears and slouched back into the pillowed headboard.
“And what are you doing with that?” Her voice sounding painfully amused, she queried when I picked up the guitar lying beside me. “You can’t even play. Haha, everybody, give it up for Rina, she can’t even ….”
“You little …” I hadn’t even made it off the bed, though, when she fled out of the room giggling like the devil, but not before sticking her tongue out at me. Shaking my head, I collapsed back onto the bed with a smile on my face and a sigh through my lips.
Liz was one of those few who didn’t have a split personality to me.
Even with Nicole, I had two minds. Of course, most of the day, she was my sister: someone for me to protect. But at the rarest of times: especially that one time in the locker when she opened up her thoughts about me and Jen, she felt to me as just another selfish crosspatch. But like I said, just at the rarest of times.
But then, there’s Kim.
I couldn’t say the time we’d spent together was the best part of my life because I’d never forget the memories Mom and Dad gave me. Also because, being ambivalent and indecisive as I always am, I still can’t figure out what it is that she and I had.
And like almost everyone else in my life, there were two versions of her I remembered.
One is she who used to often come into my dreams, who needed me to need her. The one that’d always made me feel like a betrayer.
Then, there is this girl that showed me what it feels like to be truly helpless: who always haunted me: the one I’d tried to shut away in the back of my mind.
And just like that, that part of the past I’d tried to bury along with that side of Kim took me by storm again.
“I leave you alone for three seconds and you’re crying rivers.”
“Huh?” I tilted my head but couldn’t see her clearly through … my tears? Clumsily, I picked myself up, wiping them away. “No, no. Must be something in my eyes.”
“I was just joking.” she dropped down onto the bed beside me, with a frown and a small pout. Her hand reached for my still wet eye probably to wipe it dry but just ended up removing a few strands of hair away. And that gesture, somehow, made me shy away before I recomposed myself.
“I’m not lying. Would probably be dust.”
“Really?”
“Really. What’s that?” I tried to turn her attention away to what she had in her hands and after a second or two, she let me.
“Sinister.”
My transient confusion was cleared when I saw it was a DVD casing she was holding. But another question came up. “A movie? When do I start practicing?”
“Well, tomorrow’s the audition.”
“Which happens to be my point.”
“You need to rest your voice.” She concluded, walking over to the set, and put the disc in the player before jumping into the spot beside me. I also slid backwards till I joined her leaning against the headboard.
And despite my false protests, I too took a pillow and hugged it tight. “That’s for those who’ve trained the whole year. I did what, two days’ singing?”
“One day. But enough.”
“If you say so.” I shrugged and picked up the casing again. “Ethan? This is gonna be good.”
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Nik
“Alright,” I sat the glass down on the table. But it was more like I smashed it. I was mad. Stark mad. “Why were you following me?”
“I wasn’t.”
“This isn’t cute, Chloe. Everything has limits.”
There was no reply for a while but when it finally came, it did with a sigh. “Okay. I’m sorry. It was … an accident.”
“How the f*ck could this be an accident?” The gallantry now gone, I seethed. I didn’t give a damn about the eyes of other people I could feel were on me. Just didn’t. I was really angry. And disappointed. “Because you got caught? I didn’t know you were like this.”
“Look,” And her look changed to frustration? For f*cking real? “I was here for my hand. And like it or not, I thought you were my friend.”
I forced my eyes away from hers and took a glance at her hand. Okay, I admit. The tourniquet did look changed. But my rage refused to die down this easily.
“So I’m sorry that I got worried when I saw you walk in looking like a corpse.”
“You could’ve …,”
She cut me off holding up her hand, “No, I get it. This won’t happen again.”
I watched her get up from her chair, her face wearing an expression I’d never seen before on her: suppressed anger.
“See you, … probably.”
“Are you kidding me? No beer?”
Ah, the joys of hindsight!
“Christ, not even coke!” she stood back up from leaning into the fridge and I had to tear my eyes away from the ‘back of her jeans’ to really start turning on the lights.
“Come on up. I might still have a few drinks left, and then some.”
“Some?” I heard her chuckle and the sounding of her footsteps as I led her upstairs. It was quite nice to hear her laugh around me again. I just didn’t like it when she was mad at me earlier at the hospital. And she apparently didn’t when I was with her, either.
“Here.” Throwing a coke to her as she propped down on my bed, I also took a seat on the night desk.
“Have anything alcoholic?”
“You drunk, walking home alone at this hour? Don’t tempt this town.”
“I didn’t know I was going home.”
We both laughed. But I couldn’t that much. I knew I still hadn’t given her an apology she deserved.
“I’m sorry. For the way I was back at the hospital.”
She examined her drink and looked back at me, her grey eyes somehow shining in the dim light. After a second or two, I got a nod, and a question.
“Can I ask you something?”
I knew what she was gonna ask but somehow nodded.
“I heard that,” she showed a bit of hesitance but continued, “your mom died in the accident.”
“She did, technically.” I needed no looking up to know that she’d be confused, and feeling sorry. “Her brain was damaged for life. I could let them pull the plug but …,”
She got up and pulled me into her, and I let her. It wasn’t really necessary since I wasn’t breaking down into tears. But irony was, only when she held me in her arms, I began to feel prickles behind my eyes. She started rubbing my back like I was a little hurt child. And somehow it felt right: to be dependent on somebody. I hadn’t been for so long.
I looked up still not letting go of her hand when she pulled away.
“I doubt many people get to know this side of you.” Her lips parted again but no words formed for some seconds. “I won’t screw this up.”
“You’d better not.” I threatened playfully and got off the desk. She got out of the way and let out this huge packet of hot air. I realized then she was making for the door.
“Anyways, it’s quite late. I should be going now.”
Uh-uh, you’re not.
I grabbed her hand from behind as she reached for the knob. And as I was expecting, she was pulled easily back into my ready arms, with a knowing smile on her face.
“I might know of some ways to make you reconsider that.”
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