Ch. 26: Dashed Dignity
"So what's the big deal?" I asked, looking from Jenna to Lana. "Everyone just has conjoined studying today... That's pretty cool, I have to admit." I shouldered my books as we fourth-year Gryffindors stepped into the Great Hall.
My only guess was that Hogwarts held a study period before exams so you can cram as much into your brain as humanly possible before you took all the tests.
Lana shrugged as we approached an empty portion of tables. "I just can't wait until break. No school for three weeks!" Lana moaned happily, stretching her arms out wide as if she was embracing the thought. "It's going to be heaven."
Jenna threw her books down on the Gryffindor table, where everyone was pretty much already studying, and groaned in reply. "Yeah, but first we just have to get through today's exams."
I sat across from Harry, Hermione, Ron, Fred, and George with a smile and opened my DADA book. It was the only class I was really struggling in, that and Transfiguration. My Divination skills could be worked on, but I figured that the exam for that class would just be drinking tea and giving false futures.
It was around here that my day began to go south.
Staring down at the information-loaded pages, I couldn't focus. There was anxious, happy chattering all around. The school was a-buzz with the coming dance, and the Christmas Break was right around the corner.
I snuck a couple of glances toward Fred. He and his twin were animatedly chattering amongst themselves cracking jokes and dodging the attentions of the Professors are they roamed our Study Hall, ensuring that we were all remaining on task.
I smirked into my text, thinking it was sorta cute that Fred was upset. He thought I was going with Oliver Wood. Really, I hadn't even considered taking anyone at all. But, the more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea of going with him. He was funny and charming, and well -- I blushed at the thought.
'Maybe I'll just tell Fred that I'm not going to the Ball with Oliver... if he's going to make such a big deal out of it,' I thought as I gave him a side glance, blushing as his eyes met mine. I skimmed through my Defense book and smiled shyly. Maybe I would even ask him to the Yule Ball. That would be a twist, huh?
"This is pathetic..." Ron whined as he looked up from his book, desperately whispering to Harry while Snape was gone. "We both don't have dates, and the Ball is next week."
Harry nodded slightly as Snape gave them a glare, but whispered back to Ron. "Yeah, it's a lot harder to ask someone than I had thought, why do they have to travel in packs?"
"And how do you get one alone?" Ron complained, as if girls were so hard to figure out. Hermione and I both rolled our eyes at the same time, boys. Snape scowled and shoved their heads towards their books, telling them that it was study time, not talking time.
I sent a smile to Fred, but he just shot it down with a blank stare. He had been this way for the past few days and I hadn't talked to him since Quidditch practice.
Fred quickly scribbled something down on a scrap of paper, balled it up, and then tossed it at Ron, hitting him in the head. Muttering curses under his breath, Ron opened the letter and read it quietly. "Better act quick before all the good ones are gone?" Ron frowned and glared at his brother, "Well who are you taking, then?"
Fred's eyes swept over to me, causing my heart to sputter, but only for a second before passing by and landing on a sixth-year girl farther down the table who was reading a Transfiguration book, twirling her dark hair between her charcoal-coloured fingers. Angelina Johnson. Shrugging, Fred balled up another piece of paper and tossed it at her, causing her to give him a scowl of annoyance.
"What?" She mouthed, glaring up from her book.
Fred motioned with his hands so Snape wouldn't yell at him. "Will you go to the dance with me?" I was dumb-struck, what? If he was going to ask Angelina why put me through so much hell to do so? Asshole...my heart sunk low in my chest and my eyes prickled a little, but I just chuckled it off, shoving my distraught facing in my book.
"Yeah!" I could hear her giggle as she twirled another piece of hair around her finger.
I kept my gaze on the book that I was holding directly in front of my face so no one could see how much I was actually hurting. See? I told you, I hate dances. Everyone gets their hearts messed with. I could feel five pairs of eyes boring into my head but I ignored them and watched the words dance on the pages of my book, blurred by the emotions bubbling up in my eyes.
Clearing my throat, I chuckled some more and forced them down with a hard swallow. I lifted my book in the air to cover my expression, sure that I was openly upset.
"Dude, what the fuck," Lana muttered beside me so that only I could hear. "You okay, Elle?"
I scratched at the side of my face, side-glancing at her. "Yup."
But, my hormones would have said otherwise. I felt like curling into a melodramatic ball and sobbing my eyes out. And, it wasn't even like I liked Fred that much... or, at least, ... I swallowed hard again. Maybe I did.
Jenna grabbed my hand and squeezed, not needing to say anything.
After a few moments of silence, and my wiping my face with my sleeve behind the cover of my book just to be sure I wasn't actually crying, Ron cleared his throat and turned to Hermione. "Ehh, Hermione -- you're a girl..." I rolled my eyes and peered over the top of the book to see Hermione glaring at Ron, not wanting him to finish the words he was planning on saying. "You want to go to the ball with me?"
Hermione was pissed.
Angrily, she snapped her book closed and gathered her things, then gave her finished study materials to Snape. As she returned to the table, she yanked her back off her chair and shot Ron a deadly glare. "For your information, Ronald, I have been a girl my whole life. Some have just been too stupid to see it -- and, for your information, someone has already asked me!" She shoved the last of her things in her satchel before stalking off and hissing at him. "And I said yes."
Keeping my red eyes on the table, I felt a heat burn all over my face as I quickly put everything away into my backpack and hoarsely excused myself. "I'm sorry-but I need to go." I cringed inwardly as my voice reached my ears, it sounded broken and rough like I had been crying for days. Quickly I stalked out of the Great Hall and handed Snape my materials, ignoring Jenna and Lana as they called out to me:
"Elle, wait!"
The rest of the day I was taking exams, it was strange. I felt as if I was in my own little bubble. Like, everything was all right as long as my mind was distracted and focused on the exams.
However, once the exams were done, my mind was too busy with melodramatic thoughts about how I was stupid to think he liked me in the first place anyway. I really just wanted to sleep until my chest stopped hurting, so that's what I did.
Skipping lunch, I went straight to the Common Room after Exams and ignored a worried Hermione and the rest of my friends as I stalked up to the fourth-year room. Even Ginny was trying to make me come down to lunch, but I just shoved my large pillow over my ears and threw my body into bed, not caring. School was officially out on break.
Closing my eyes, I felt like I could sleep for years.
3rd Person Pov:
The hours ticked away, yet Hermione still hadn't seen her twin since Elle had stomped up the Common Room stairs, refusing to even acknowledge anyone's presence. That had been well over four hours ago.
"What happened to Elle?" Ginny bit her lip, worried as she cut into her steak. The Great Hall was alive with the chatter of excitement about the end of the exams and the first dinner of break. "I haven't seen her since before lunch, and she didn't eat then."
Jenna frowned and gave a concerned look at Lana, but they didn't say anything. Ginny was Fred's sister, so they both felt it would be awkward if they told her that Elle and Fred were having some issues.
"What's that I hear about Elle?" Ron smacked his lips, chewing a honeyed chicken breast. He looked around the table with a grin, but it faltered a little as he realized that the girl wasn't with them. "Where is she anyway?"
"She hasn't left the Fourth Year Room since exams got out, Ron." Ginny sighed for Hermione, who was refusing to talk to the Weasley for hurting her ego. "I think she may be sick."
"Yeah, sick of the male Weasley's..." Hermione muttered under her breath, picking at a salad. She didn't fully under stand what was going on, but she had pieced together that Elle was upset about Fred asking Angelina Johnson to the Yule Ball, that much was obvious. Any one could see that they had something between them-even if they didn't.
Ginny nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean, if I was Ron's twin? I think I'd have killed myself a long time ago." She smiled, reassuring Hermione.
Ron was mid-chew when he gave her a disgruntled look. "What's that supposed to mean?" Lana rolled her eyes as the siblings began to bicker back and forth. Biting her lip, she looked at Elle's empty seat and sighed. Jenna quickly caught on to the mood as well.
"You know, I really think she actually liked Fred..." Jenna whispered to her closest friend with a morbid look on her face. She pulled her blonde waves to the side and watched Lana with her steely blue eyes filled with concern. "And, that's saying something for Elle, you know?"
"Yeah, I know. She has to be taking this pretty rough...her first heartbreak." Lana snorted, the joke of it all not unfunny to her, but she knew that it really wasn't something to be amusing. "Maybe we should go check on her?" She looked around the table to see a guilty-looking George peeling an apple. "George, come here for a second..."
Slowly, George set down his skinned apple and sat in the empty space where Elle should have been sitting. "Yeah..?" His face burned red and he couldn't help but feel guilty for what happened earlier.
"What do you know?" Lana cocked a brow, giving him an incriminating look. Sighing, George scratched the back of his neck and leaned close so that only Lana, Jenna, and maybe Hermione would be able to hear what he had to say.
"Look, we over heard Elle asking Oliver to the Yule Ball for you, but to Fred and I it sounded as if she was asking him herself." He looked around to make sure no one was listening unwanted. "I asked her about it in the library, she told me what really happened, but I didn't tell Fred- I didn't think he would make such a big deal out of it...." He gave his twin a small frown and turned back to Lana's flickering eyes. "But I guess he did."
Hermione's chest fell a little for her twin, she was probably crying and feeling all kinds of pain in her room right now. It wasn't right. "Someone should tell Fred the truth, to show him how big of an ass he is being..."
Lana, Jenna, and George gave Hermione surprised glances at her choice of language, Jenna was the first to burst out laughing. "Haha! Elle has finally done it! She'll be punching obnoxious boys next!"
Across the Castle of Hogwarts, Elle was walking through the halls, muttering angrily under her breath and debating whether or not she was hungry enough to face her friends.
Elle's Pov:
"Fucking Fred," I muttered as I paced around the empty Common Room in my black tank top and shorts. My barefeet padded on the cobblestoned floors as I turned about the empty room, talking to myself out loud. "I can't believe he made me feel that bad. It's not me, it's him," I didn't care about appearances right now. I didn't care about anything I had seemed to turn off all my emotions. But it felt good, to not feel.
"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness you know..." A portrait on the wall called to me while stroking his white beard. His weathered brows furrowed as he watched me.
"Some of the best people I know are mad..." I argued, thinking of mostly all of my friends.
The portrait looked up at me, shocked and then scoffed. "Sorry, Miss, I wasn't talking to you!" He looked at me as if he was seeing me for the first time and his eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "And a young lady like you should not be showing so much skin in public!"
He reminded me of Fred, fucking Fred... Angrily I stalked over to the portrait and took him off the wall, flipped him over, and hung it back up-so he wouldn't be able to see me anymore. "There-now I'm not in public."
"It's against school rules to move paintings!" The portrait cried, but I ignored it, not wanting to deal with him right now.
Huffing, I grabbed my grey hoodie off the back of the comfy couch and threw it on, lazily not caring to zip it up or anything. I needed to get out of the room, five hours was more than enough time to mope. My cold, bare feet slapped through the empty halls as I passed by the large doors of the Great Hall, but I didn't go in, instead I kept walking- trying to remember the way Fred took me to the kitchens.
After a lot of wandering, I finally found the corridor. "Ah, well if it isn't the Mudblood's twin." A cold voice called out behind me and I sighing, not really caring any more. If he wanted to call me names than I'd let him, something about Malfoy made me want to decipher him, psychology had always been something I was interested in.
"Well if it isn't the pompous Malfoy with more money than sense," I called, turning around and leaning against the cool stone wall beside the portrait. Malfoy scowled and stalked over to me. I quickly noted that he didn't have his goonies with him.
"That's the thing about you Grangers," He sneered as if Granger was a dirty word in his mouth, but I shrugged it off. "I can never tell if you are stupid or complimenting me." His blond hair was slicked back, but he looked tired-I guess exams took a toll on everyone, even pricks with too much money.
"Trust me, Draco-I'm never complimenting you." I rolled my eyes, running hand through my hair. Since my emotions were shut off, I realized that Malfoy wasn't as annoying as I remembered, in fact he was tolerable. I sank closer to the wall, feeling heavy and empty.
I'd realized after the fact that I didn't care enough to call him by his last name. I didn't care at all, really. Not even Malfoy could get under my skin.
Malfoy gave me a half disgusted, half slightly worried look. Maybe he feared I was going crazy. "What's the matter with you, Granger? What, your perfect Mudblood life not as perfect as you'd hoped?" He chuckled, trying to see if that would affect me.
"You know nothing about my perfect" I lifted my hands and made quotes with my fingers. " 'Mudblood life', Draco." I yawned, why was he pestering me anyway? Could he not see that I couldn't give a shit?
He frowned, not understanding why I wouldn't do anything to him for calling me a Mudblood or insulting me so he tried something else. "Why aren't you with your Weasel? I hear you two have gotten very close." He sniggered. "Oh wait, didn't he ask that Angelina Gryffindor to the Yule Ball?" He looked smug, his eyes flashed as if that was his victory, but it slowly faded when I didn't say or do anything.
"Seriously, Mudblood, what is the matter with you? Are you drunk or something?" Malfoy frowned, angry that I wouldn't get angry. I guess he gets off on a good fight.
Grunting, I pushed myself away from the wall and walked over to the portrait, done with this pointless conversation. "Why don't you go play with yourself, Draco-I'm not in the mood."
Draco frowned deeper, a little angry but played it off. "No thanks, I've got Pansy for that."
I stopped in my tracks and gave him a shocked look. Did, did he just make a joke? I snorted then began chuckling. "Ahaha, what?!" It wasn't funny, but it was just so shocking. Malfoy gave me a shocked look too, surprised that he had said that.
"I-I mean, Godric, fuck off, Mudblood." He yelled angrily and stalked off, muttering angry curses under his breath, I just watched him go. I guess Malfoy just acts tough for his friends, but if you got him alone, he couldn't help but crack a little.
What a douche bag... I shook my head at his retreating frame and shrugged it off.
Hiya! *Dramatically covers head-because she knows people are probably throwing computer chairs at her* SSOOORRRRYYY sorry to all of you who thought this would be all romantic and Fred and Elle would be kissing and dating and going to the Yule Ball together-sorry
OH! Hey, how was my 3rd person point of view? I haven't written like that in a while, I may be rusty-was it okay?
A/N 10-Y-R: I had jokes back in the day!