We stand at easy distance, both Zayn and I glaring at Devon.
Devon's grin hasn't left his face since he's asked that question and my skin is crawling with fear and anticipation. I can almost feel Zayns anger growing by the second. Devon continues to walks closer, slow and unpredictable. How does he know?!
"You like what I did with the car?" Devon smiles, gesturing to the now trashed tires. "No hard feelings right? I mean, you can afford fixing her shit. You'd probably get her a new car instead of fixing the stupid tires itself. Is your toilet paper hundred dollar bills?" He laughs at his own jokes causing an affect of sending unwanted chills down my spine.
"Why are you here?" Zayn questions softly but there is a gravelly edge to it.
"Oh, he speaks." Devon's eyes widen sardonically. "Why am I here? Thanks to you, Mr. Fuck up Devon's life, I can't get a job." He smiles but it's forced and unsettling. It makes my skin crawl. "Since you've fucked up my life, it's only simple for me to fuck up yours."
"This isn't the time and place to speak about this type of subject." Zayn's tone is in the careful business persona but I can tell it's a struggle.
"Oh for fucks sake, I couldn't give two fucks even if I had it." Devon shakes his head in disappointment and leans on the boot of my car.
"This is a nice ride if I do say so myself. Too bad I had to slash the tires so you couldn't go anywhere." Devon says, gaze focused on me as I swallow down my pride.
"What do you want Devon?!" I ask this time and he raises an eyebrow at me. Zayns grip tightens around my arm.
"Let me go." I mutter quietly to Zayn.
"No."
"Let me go."
"No!"
"Zayn. Please. I need my phone." I mutter.
"I'll get it."
"Ahh hello?" Devon butts in like the annoying piece of shit he is.
He waves gently. "I'm right here. Are you done being all rainbows and ponies and shit? I'd love to talk to Tori."
"Over my dead body, Anderson." Zayn spits through gritted teeth.
"Oh, Mr Malik is getting defensive." Devon smiles wickedly. "2 is company Zayn, 3 is just crashing the party and if you so ever bring Mark into this, the consequences will be met with Tori." He waves to someone behind us, a fake smile plastered on his face.
I turn curiously behind me, but Zayns eyes are solemnly focused on Devon. Mark appears around the corner, slowly walking towards us on high alerts.
"If he comes any closer-"
"What do you want, Devon?! What's your game?!" I blanch as the adrenaline kicks in.
He spreads his arms out, that same cocky smirk printed on his face. He starts to walk closer, a heavy gaze of scowls cross his face and I step back.
"Reunion, Tori. Wouldn't it be nice if we could relive the best night of your life."
"I think you should stay away." Zayn says, voice completely calm. He pulls me behind him and I hear Devon sigh.
"Now, now. Sharing is caring."
"She wants nothing to do with you. I'm sure I made myself clear when I fired your screwed up ass."
Devon chuckles. "Screwed up? Which guy are you talking about here Zayn. Me or you? If I do say so myself— having a contract to have sex with Tori, is pretty screwed up. Do you have trust issues?"
Zayn steps forward, closing the distance between Devon and him and I'm suddenly finding it hard to breath. My heart beat is thumping in my ears.
"Are you trying to blackmail me, because you don't know half the shit I have on you. Watch yourself. I understand you found that contract through Victoria's email. How stupid of me."
"Yes, I do agree, it was a very appalling move to do. Such a shame. I'd hate to see your business go down the drain."
"It's legal, do your research." Zayn bites back.
"Oh I did, look where it got me." Devon smirks.
"Exactly, look where it got you. I don't have time for you or your twisted ways. Leave with peace or forever be on my death list."
Devon gasps sarcastically and clutches his chest. "Are you threatening me?" He whines.
"No. I'm warning you." Zayn grabs his shirt collar and pins him against the car.
I jump suddenly, not expecting any retaliation from Zayn. "How many chances do I have to give you before you fuck me off? Stay the fuck away from her." Zayn warns as Devon smirks and attempts to shove Zayns hands away. He's completely messed up in the head.
Mark is at my side and slowly reaches for Zayn.
"Sir, I got this. Be the CEO." Mark says, but he knows Zayns going to push him away.
"Yeah Zayn, be the CEO. The Leader." Devon probes. "Oh sir, You're sexy when you're angry. Punish me for being a bad boy."
Holy shit! He just won't stop will he?
"It's not a bad idea. But you're not worth it." Zayn says through gritted teeth. He slowly lets go of Devon's shirt and steps away from him, but stops and looks at Devon with a cunning smirk. "How's the sex tape? Is it selling out like you thought it would?"
What.
Devon's smirk falls away and he glares at Zayn. "How do you know about that?!"
"I have my sources, you obviously have yours. Let's just say mine are a lot better. They're paid right and they do their job right."
"Don't play me at my own game Zayn, I'm one step ahead of you."
"Are you Devon, are you sure about that? I'm calling your bluff. I'd love to stay and chat about your troubled ways, but unlike you, we have places to be, you know, a company to run."
"You won't be having a company once I'm done with you."
"I'm not the humoured type, so quit with the jokes." Zayn mutters and turns his back on Devon and nods towards Mark.
"I'm not finished with you." Devon screeches.
"I'll get your phone later." Zayn whispers to me and ignores Devon as he protests. When I look into Zayns eyes, he looks completely preoccupied and lost. I hope Devon didn't get through his head.
"He's behind you." I whisper breathlessly.
"I know. But he's pissed off, and I don't want you to be here right now."
I stare at Zayn, frowning, mind racing through a million thoughts at once. "What do you mean?!"
"Mark." Zayn exhales slowly and I see Mark reaching for my arm, pulling me away from both Devon and Zayn. "Breathe baby."
What's going on?! Why isn't Zayn coming with me?! I tug my hand free, but Mark is quick enough to pull me back.
"Re, relax." Mark mutters.
"What's going on?!" I question anxiously as he drags me along, I try to look behind me but Marks in the way, but as we turn around the corner, I have a glimpse of Devon, punching Zayn square in the jaw.
I gasp and at least try to stop but Mark is way too strong.
"Let me go please!" I plead with urgency, hot tears almost forming in my eyes. No! They're fighting. My hearts racing in my chest, holy shit! This is because of me! I can't let this happen.
"I'm doing my job, Victoria. I'm sorry."
"Mark, please! You have to stop them."
He stops and bends down so we're face to face. "I can't. Okay."
"Please." I whisper.
My stomach knots in fear as I hear groans from Zayn or Devon. "Please Mark, he could lose his job. You know what Zayns capable of."
Mark frowns and I can see I'm getting through to him.
"Please!" I continue to plead.
"He won't stop, you know that. He has a fighting history."
I frown momentarily confused. What?
"But— You're his bodyguard. You have to stop him." I inhale sharply as Mark pierces his lips together. "You could lose your job too."
He sighs quietly and frowns.
"Just pull Devon away if you can't get through to Zayn."
"Okay." He breathes. "Only for you." He swallows and turns. "Wait here." He says voice completely stern and hard.
I'm not waiting here!
I follow behind Mark and he frowns when he turns and sees me but refuses to say anything. As we turn the corner, Devon is pinned against the car and Zayns fist is meeting his face with such force, it's almost as if Devon's head could go through the car window. My feet feel heavy as we come closer to Zayn and the bloody mess on his fist. Devon looks likes he's been drugged, completely gone and in another world, but he's responsive. He attempts to shove Zayn away, but he's too sloppy.
When he finally grows enough power to push Zayn to the ground, he pins him down and donates sloppy and semi powerful punches.
"Stay away." Mark warns, but I don't listen.
I never listen. As Mark grabs Devon, I see how badly bruised and bloody his face is. Oh my god. I cover my mouth as I suppress myself from gasping.
Zayn did this to him.
I stand there, immobilised and unable to move and Zayn is standing there, completely ignoring my existence. I don't even think he knows I'm here.
The determination and intimidation mixed in one on Zayn is terrifying. Mark traps Devon behind him but it doesn't stop Zayn at all. He's like a different person.
"Mark, get out." Zayn says jaw clenched.
Mark doesn't move though. I swallow hard. I hope he doesn't lose his job because of me. "I think you should stop."
"Don't push my patience. Get out, of the fucking way."
"Zayn— please." I whimper.
"You shouldn't be here." Zayn whispers in a raspy tone, facing me with an etched look of anger and irritation. He's breathing heavily, a few grazes and bruises on his face, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, hands covered in blood and small cuts. This is a whole different person I didn't anticipate. I should have anticipated this type of guy actually.
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out. I'm left incoherent.
"For the love of god Mark will you take her away, for her safety?" Zayn says scowling at him.
"No let her watch and witness the real Zayn." Devon smirks, voice raspy and croaky.
Mark swallows and looks at me apologetically before letting Devon out in the open for Zayn to target.
"Devon and I have some unfinished business and I'm sure you're aware of that."
Mark nods as if he's overcome realisation. "Yes sir." He walks towards me and I shake my head. No. No!
"I'm sorry." He mutters before taking my hand.
"Don't let him do this." I whisper. "Please."
He doesn't listen to me this time and I see Zayn walking towards Devon, who's using the car behind him to stand against. Before Mark can grab my hand, I step around him and run behind Zayn, who's too focused on Devon to notice how close I am too him. I understand how dangerous this is, how much control he's lost because of his anger, but it's a risk I'm willing to take.
I grab his shoulder and his whole body tenses under my grip. Swallowing hard, I see Mark quickly grab Devon and all too fast, Zayn turns and faces me, pinning me against the car and I wince. My fear slightly heightens due to natural reflexes. He stares at me but all I see is anger. All signs of happiness, control, lust anything, it's all gone and all I see is a cold, angry, disturbed man ready for revenge.
"I told you not to be here!" He glares at me through scorching dark eyes and I shiver under his stare.
"You're taking it a bit too far." I mumble— a stuttering mess.
"Too far?!" He scowls.
"You're hurting me." I whisper quietly and his tight grip around my arms, loosens immediately.
He swallows as the anger drains through his face, very, very slowly and his breathing becomes wavy. Carefully and delicately, with one hand, he lets go of my arm and strokes my cheek as regret and worry falls in his eyes. The crease between his eyebrows becomes more prominent as he see's how I'm reacting to his touch. I exhale slowly as if I was scared, as if breathing was the hardest thing to do.
"I won't hurt you." He whispers. "Don't be scared of me."
"I'd be pretty- fucking scared if I were you Tori." Devon slurs and rewards a kick in the groin from Mark.
Devon groans in pain and clutches for dare life on his manhood.
I close my eyes, trying to ignore whats happening behind Zayn. I let out a small breath and stare up at Zayn's gaze.
His left eye is slightly bruised and the cut on the top of his lip has swelled up a bit. His cheekbones is cut up and looks painful. He doesn't even look like he's been in a fist fight, but when I look down at his soft hands, they're still covered up in dry blood, Devon's blood.
I grasp his bloody hand and he tenses, pulling his hand free from my grip. He steps back and closes his eyes, lipping the numbers, 3, 2, 1. And he opens his eyes and looks at me.
"Don't." Slowly, Zayn turns to face Devon and Mark. "Let him go. We're leaving, now."
"Oh, but the parties just began." Devon strains.
Mark rolls his eyes and throws him to the ground and leaves to go somewhere.
Zayn takes his blazer off and slips his hands in my pocket. My body tenses but he ignores it this time. He grabs my keys, unlocks my car and grabs my phone and gives it to me before I can say anything to him.
I walk towards Devon, slowly as he rolls on the floor, coughing, looking terrible and bloody. The bile in my throat continues to grow and he looks up at me and slowly smirks.
"Help a friend out?"
I shake my head in pity. "Helping you is the last thing I'll ever do."
"Come on Tori, you're not a fighter."
"And neither are you. Look where you are. As much as I hate seeing you like this, I will never forgive you for what you did to me." I swallow as tears threatened to spill. "Just leave me alone, leave Zayn alone— just leave everyone that I care about, alone. Including, Elena."
"There's no time for water works now sweetheart." He mumbles, trying to sit up.
"God damn it Devon! You're completely insane. You're lying on the ground and all you can do is talk complete shit. You're delusional."
Devon stands and Zayn slowly walks to my side, grasping my arm softly.
"Ta-da. I'm off the ground." He says, wiping the blood from his nose.
I cringe at the site Zayn has put him in.
Don't feel guilty Re, he deserves this.
"It worries me how fucked in the head you are." I whisper.
Devon steps closer towards me and throws up his hands in defensive as he flicks his gaze at Zayn.
"Zayn is just as fucked up as I am." Devon says. "So don't try and point the fucked up finger at me."
"At least he has permission to have sex with an innocent." I swallow and Devon slowly smirks, his eye is swollen, his nose looks as if he's broken it, all thanks to Zayn.
"You know what my bet is, you'll sign the contract, because you're that far up his ass, you'd do anything to stay with him." He glares up at Zayn and the intimidation between the both of them fleets under my skin. "Be careful who you consult your contract too. They may have mutuals that will become your enemy." Devon winks and slowly steps back, decreasing the distance between us. "Until next time, Tori." Devon spits on the ground and smirks before limping away.
I let out a shaky breath and I feel as if I'm about to hyperventilate. My heart hasn't stopped beating at a rapid pace since I started confronting Devon.
"Are we- are- are we just gonna let him- w- walk away." I stutter as anxiety starts to build up in me.
Zayn turns me around so I'm facing him, but I can't move, my eyes are in a daze, cast on his chest but focused on the events of earlier. They were fighting, they were actually fighting.
"Calm down. Breathe."
I squeeze my eyes shut in hopes of disappearing from this crazy world. No! This is just a dream! Nothing happened. Nothing happened. But I'm pulled in an embrace of Zayns scent. I relax but only slightly. He hushes me, soothing me softly but my mind will never stop running. I can't stop thinking about what I saw. What I witnessed! What his anger is if he's not capable of keeping it under control.
"Marks here." He whispers quietly.
I don't realise how long we've been standing here in this long hug but when he pulls away, I feel like crying. But I don't, I suppress myself from crying because tears show weakness. I keep my head cast down low as we walk towards the SUV and get in the back seat of the car.
Before I scoot over to the other side, Zayn grabs my hand and pulls me to his chest as he closes the door. He leaves a kiss against my forehead and sighs softly as his hand strokes through my hair. I feel my exhaustion take the best of me as my eyes start to close down and before I drift into a troubled dreamworld, Zayn whispers the words. "I'm sorry."
My body jolts as I awaken from a nightmare. My heart beat is erratic, my breathing almost matches it and a cold sweat is falling from my headline. It's dark and the only thing that's helping me to see is the moonlight peeping in between the drapes. Immediately, I feel a hand on my shoulder and I jump.
Hands grab me this time and the light flicks on, I'm met with Amber's alerted gaze and I relax instantly.
"Are you okay?! You scared me!"
I close my eyes. "I thought- you- I- I'm sorry." I whimper and she almost looks like she's going to cry herself. She pulls me into a deep hug.
"Zayn wanted me to keep an eye on you." She whispers apologetically.
"Why?"
"Zayn told me what happened, with Devon." She whispers, tone waving around. "He's here."
I push away from her. "Who?!"
"Zayn! Not Devon." I relax again and she looks at me with concern. "I don't like seeing you like this Re. It's scaring me!"
"I'm okay."
"Really? Zayn could have killed Devon."
"But he didn't." I whisper.
"He was close. He even admits it, and that's coming from the horse's mouth."
I frown.
"Devon um- Devon tried going after one of his sisters." Amber bites her lip, trying to gauge my reaction.
"What!?" I gape.
I don't know what to say. What?! Oh my god.
"Zayn wouldn't have gone so far if Devon didn't try to make a pass on his sister."
Oh.
"Where is he? Downstairs?"
She nods.
I push all the blankets off me and notice I'm wearing the same clothes that I went out in. That's the last thing I care about right now.
Making my way down stairs, I look through the lounge, the kitchen and finally find him in the dining room. His eyes are focused on his grazed knuckles. He flexes them slowly and closes them into fists, causing them to click. I wince at the sound and so does he.
"Did you have trouble sleeping?" He questions.
I jump slightly and he finally looks up at me. He looks poker faced as usual, but his eyes are completely dazed, gone and destroyed. My heart wrenches.
I nod slowly and take a seat beside him at the dining room table.
His posture stiffens and he takes in a deep breath.
"How's your sister?" I question quietly.
"She's okay, but how are you feeling?" He tilts his head at me.
"Preoccupied." I bite my lip. "I'm sorry about your sister."
"I don't need pity right now." He grumbles, sounding completely irritated.
I frown for a split second but he grabs my hand and stops me from getting up.
"Don't leave. I'm worried about you and I'm not familiar with these types of emotions."
"I'm not leaving. You need to rest." I grip tighter to his hand and he stares at me, trying to figure out what I mean.
I raise my eyebrow unsure.
He stands slowly and I led him upstairs. Amber walks out of my room and smiles gently.
"I'd say I'd be in my room if you need me, but, I'm sure you'll be fine." Amber looks at me sympathetically and gives an uncomfortable smile to Zayn. "Night."
"Night Amber."
"Goodnight Miss Coventry."
Sighing to myself, I make my way to the bedroom and Zayn stands in the doorway, frowning and looking completely lost.
"What's wrong?" I question.
I turn away from him and take my shirt off quickly before putting my over sized shirt on. My jeans come off and I take my bra off without exposing anything. I grab his hand, but he's refusing to walk any further.
He shakes his head. "I can't Victoria. I don't want to hurt you."
"What do you mean?"
"Devon's still fresh in your mind."
Oh.
"Just, lie down with me." I whisper tiredly.
Zayn sighs quietly and nods.
He closes the door behind him and strips off his shirt. My eyes are focused on the purple bruise near his ribs. It's probably bigger than both my hands side by side. I gape as I reach out to touch it and he grabs my face, forcing me to stare up at him. "Your- your ribs."
"I'm okay. It's just a bruise." His eyes darken but he closes them immediately. "I'll be fine."
"Are you su-"
"Yes, Victoria. I'm fine." He says voice stern and cold. "Come on. We need sleep."
You need sleep. Grumpy.
"Okay." I mutter, rolling my eyes.
I bury myself in the duvets as Zayn strips down to his underwear. I could never get use to that. But he stands at the end of the bed, looking lost and out of place.
I don't like him like this.
"Are you okay?" I question, sitting up to face him.
He nods slowly and walks around the other side, eyes burning with passion and regret as I lie back down.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes! Stop asking me." He frowns as he pulls the blanket over his legs. "Will you ever listen to me?" Zayn mutters, sounding as if it wasn't meant to be heard from my ears.
I swallow. "What do you mean?"
"Let's just say, you'll be very hard to train if you were my sex partner."
Oh. He's talking about obedience; he's fucking talking about the contract after what happened today.
"That's the last thing on my mind right now." I murmur.
"Penny, for your thoughts?" I feel the bed dip as he props himself up on his elbow. He winces slightly but composes himself instantly.
"You were so different." I whisper under my voice. "It was like- like you were po-"
"Possessed?" He mutters quietly.
I frown as I catch his cold gaze. "Yeah, possessed."
"I'm a different person when I'm angry." He admits devastatingly.
"You are. I've witnessed your anger Zayn. But that." I shake my head as if I can't comprehend the differences. "I can't even find a word to explain what that was."
"I don't know, Re!" He scowls." I don't know what overcame me. But it's the fact that he attempted to make a pass on my sister. Put yourself in my shoes. I'm her brother, I'd do anything to protect my family and to protect you from that sick fuck. I don't regret anything." His jaw clenches as he frowns.
My eyebrows furrow together in guilt and sympathy. "I know how protective you are. Thank you."
He doesn't say anything, he's too lost in his thoughts, but what takes me by surprise is the sweet determined kiss he leaves against my lips. He deepens it, igniting the electric currents to buzz through me, causing the bad events of today to disappear and making it feel as if I've just had a nightmare. His tongue falls between my lips as his body presses against mine, deepening both of us into the mattress.
His soft lips, travel along my jaw and caresses my neck with his tongue. I groan quietly, keeping in mind that Amber's in the other room. His hands, cold and dry, run along my waist, tickling my skin as he reaches my nipples. Just the touch of his hands against my breast, causes my nipples to erect.
Sitting up, he grabs my arm, pulls me up and easily pulls my top off, leading me shirtless in front of him. I blush slightly and his eyes darken in that familiar lustful way that travels all the way to my groin.
"I don't have any condoms." He mutters annoyed, leaving a kiss at the hem of my knickers.
I frown. "I have the Nexplanon." I show the scar on my arm as he looks up, between my legs. Thats a strange site.
"The Rod— why didn't you tell me you were in birth control?" He tilts his head.
"Well, it didn't really cross my mind till now."
"Point made." He smirks. "Now if you'll excuse me. I have some business to take care of."
I giggle timidly as he gives me a site of that beautiful smile I haven't seen since I saw him in America. My heart twists in knots at how beautiful and messed up he is. He grasps my thighs and pulls me closer to him, hooking the back of my knees over his shoulders.
He leaves a bite mark by my hipbone which makes me squirm and with one cold hand, he slips it between my knickers, causing shivers to prickle my skin. That single rigid finger pushed inside of my sex, parting the swollen tissues and I tightened myself around him. He withdrew and lifted his hand to his mouth, licking my flavour from his skin. My hips arched without volition, my body straining toward his.
"Easy baby." Zayn smirks, pulling my knickers off and throwing it over his shoulder.
Sliding down into a prone position, he settled his shoulders beneath my thighs and rimmed the quivering entrance to my body with the tip of his tongue.
Around— and around.
Ignoring my clit and refraining from fucking me even when I begged. My toes begin to curl as I feel myself building, the butterflies in my stomach getting lighter by the second, my thighs becoming weaker, my breathing is erratic.
A fistful of his hair and newly wrinkled bed sheets, I can feel myself reaching, building, higher and higher.
But he stops and I feel myself groaning for any type of friction against my sex. "Please." I mutter, almost dreadful to feel it slowly and painfully fizzing away.
"No." I whine quietly.
I'm breathless, helpless and vulnerable.
He moves fast, pulling his underwear off and leaving me soaked with my own arousal, panting desperately for the feel of any part of him I could get inside me, he crawls over me and settle's between my spread thighs, placing his forearms flat on the bed beside my head.
Zayn held my gaze. The tip of his cock, feverishly hot and hard as stone, lay against the lips of my sex. With a practiced shift of his hips, he rammed deep into me, shoving me up the bed and my eyes widened at the unexpected roughness of the thrust. He pauses, letting me adjust around the thick column of flesh that's possessed me.
"Ah, God," He gasps quietly. "I don't trust myself." He grabs my shoulders and rolls to the side so I'm on top of him. Oh my god! "Take my hands, Victoria. Up and down baby, you're in control tonight."
Holy shit! Me? In control of Zayn?! Fuck yes!
My hands tighten around his as I slowly start to move.
Up and down, up and down. He throws his head back, groaning quietly as his neck vein becomes prominent at the straining of pleasure I'm donating him. He sits up, so we're now nose to nose.
"Nice and deep baby. You're killing me." He whispers, tone raspy and filled with lust. His hand winds around my hair and tugs hard, causing my skull to prickle as his lips continue to lick and suck my chest, my neck and breasts. His lips completely take over me.
"Release baby. Come for me." He whispers, biting down on my earlobe and I release myself around his cock and feel the irresistible pleasure over take my sensitised body. He grabs my face and kisses me, distracting me from his quick thrusts that cause him to climax his warm liquids inside of me.
He presses his forehead against mine and lazily smiles. "You continue to surprise me Victoria."
"A girl can take control." I smile tiredly as lean on my knees. He pulls out of me slowly and I slightly wince as the warm liquids slowly drip from out of my open entrance.
He frowns for a moment. "Sore?"
"Just, a little." I admit timidly.
"Well it's almost been a week without sex." He shrugs and lies down, looking more at peace that he did before the sex.
Yawning to myself, I lay beside him, feeling my eyes drift to a dream world. "What did you mean when you said you couldn't trust yourself?"
Zayn looks at me. "What do you mean?"
"When you- you know."
Zayn blinks, obviously wanting an explanation.
"When you inserted your um- wand into my fairy hole." I blush scarlet and he laughs out freely.
"I knew what you meant Victoria. I just wanted to see how you'd explain it." He shakes his head and all jokes get pushed aside immediately as his face straightens.
"I was still angry— I didn't know how far I'd go with you. How rough I'd take it. I don't want to risk it and bruise you to death." He blinks as if he's finding it hard to say something else.
"I- I don't want you to go."
I inhale sharply. Holy shit.
"I won't. I promise."
"Then please sign the contract." He whispers, sincerely.
"I'll think about it.
He doesn't say anything else; he just stares at me as if he's never seen a human before. It makes me blush like a damn cherry.
"Please don't scare me again like you did today." I whisper.
Zayn's face looks pained and he pulls me to his chest.
"Never again." He sighs deeply and mutters the words to himself again as If it's a reminder. "Never again."