It seems as if time goes by so slow. The hours drag by and I only leave my cell to go to the bathroom or eat something. No one comes to see me, and I don’t feel like seeing them.
Right now, I’m sitting in my corner like I do so often, picking at a loose thread on the floor. The one good things about padded cells is that they can unravel… I think.
After a few more minutes of pulling at the string, I give up and sigh. Staying in the same spot, I lean my head back against the wall and pull my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. Staring up at the ceiling that looks so far away, I think of what it would be like to be out of here, able to see the sky whenever I wanted, feel the clean air brush against my skin. Smell all of the different scents associated with being outside.
But of course that will never happen. I’ll stay in this place for the rest of my life and never get out. My life will wither away into nothing, I’ll be an old lady and still be in this hell hole. No friends, no family I know of, nothing.
For some reason though, that doesn’t bother me. I’ve never really had anyone, just doctors and nurses, and counselors. And all of those people were just out to fix me, make me be the way they want me to be. It’s all about them, the way they want things. What he wants. What she wants. Not what I want.
I want to be left alone. Just knowing the fact that there is no hope for me, makes me want to be myself even more. I am who I am and there’s no changing that.
Standing up from my position in the corner, I stretch and then stand still for a minute, staring at the door. I know that it’s locked and I can’t get out, but anyone could come in.
That’s the scary part. I could be sleeping in the middle of the night and someone could come in and kill me in my sleep. The camera I broke is still there, no one’s come to fix it.
While staring at the door, I slip into a daze, letting my mind roam freely. As I’m doing this, I don’t see the door open, I don’t see Cade and Dallas enter, I don’t see them stand in front of me, and I don’t see them pull out a syringe and stick it in my arm. My eyes saw, but I really didn’t.
So when the blackness closes in and I can see no more, you could say it surprised me.
_____
The instant that I wake up, I start scanning my surroundings. I have no idea where I am. I’m not in an operating room, nor in a counselor’s office.
Then where the heck could I be?
Struggling to sit up, I see that I can’t because I’m bound by ropes around my wrists. Almost hyperventilating now, my eyes grow wide and I struggle even harder to move.
Merinthophobia – fear of being bound or tied up
The words echo in my head, from that first meeting with Griffin, Cade and Dallas. My subconscious whispers something to me, and I latch on to the wisp of a thought and bring it to the front of my mind.
Dallas and Cade were the ones that captured me.
Why would they do that? Why! Clenching my eyes tightly shut, I try not to think of what might happen to me, I only think of good things.
But what good things are in my life?
My family was massacred.
I don’t talk.
I can’t be touched.
Everyone despises me.
I’m. A. Freak.