Ryder's POV
The student union wasn't as packed as I thought it would be. There were still a few empty round tables and the ones that were occupied only had about three students sitting around them. I guess it is a bit early to start having study groups, after all some classes were still in session. My classes on the other hand were basically over; all I had left was one math test before my finals.
I can't wait until I get my test over with because after that all I have to do is show up. Unfortunately, I know that I'll have to spend most of my days locked in my room cramming as much material as I can into my brain, especially history. History has always been my struggle. It's really annoying that I hold such hatred towards history and I have to take two classes on this subject. One for culture and the other for art.
Luckily, I don't have to worry so much on my literature class. My final essay is on Shakespeare and I know 'Romeo and Juliet' like the back of my hand.
"Hey, Emelia!" I hear Gavin happily call out to me. I roll my eyes placing my blue pen down on my notebook.
"Gavin." I sigh. "Why do you always insist on using my middle name?" I ask as he came to a stop behind the black chair beside me.
"Because you hate it." He shrugs, placing his back pack on the table before taking a seat.
"How's studying going?" Gavin asks, briefly glancing down at my notebook filled with math notes.
"Fine." I reply. "But to be honest I can't seem to focus on it."
"Why not?" Gavin asks, a small frown displaying on his face.
"My brother's engagement party is tonight." I trail.
"Oh, yeah! I remember you told me." Gavin exclaims, his face slowly breaking open, recalling the memory.
"Yeah, and unfortunately Katie can't join me because she is visiting her parents for the weekend."
"Well you know I would join you, to make it easier on you but I have an early class tomorrow."
"Yeah, I know. It's okay." I say, the right side of my mouth pulling up into a tiny smile.
"How did your project go? Did Mr. And Mrs. Flynn like the pictures?"
"Yes!" I smile. "Thank you so much for helping me."
"You're welcome." Gavin chuckles.
"Wait, what time is it?" I ask Gavin, staring at him with wide eyes. He leans back in his chair pulling out his cellphone out of his pocket.
"Half past four." He answers before glancing up at me, shoving his phone away.
"I have to go." I say shaking my head quickly shutting my notebook and textbook. "Shawn is picking me up soon. We are heading to London." I add, standing up from my chair.
"I'll see you later, Gavin." I say leaning down, kissing his cheek before turning on my heel, clutching my textbook against my chest.
"I really do not want to go." I grumble to Shawn as he stood waiting for me by my bedroom door, while I made final adjustments to my attire in the mirror.
"Come on, it'll be fun." Shawn replies, straightening his black tie. "Besides, we had a deal."
"I know." I say rolling my eyes walking over to the bed to grab my purse.
"Is my extra pair of clothes in your car?" I ask, double checking that I had everything.
"Yup." Shawn replies.
"Okay, let's go." I sigh reluctantly following Shawn out the door.
Come on, this is for Shawn. He's been there for you now it's time for you to be there for him.
"Quite, fidgeting Ry." Shawn complains with chuckle beside as we both walk towards the entrance of the hotel.
"Well I'm sorry but considering that I'm going to be rebuked all night, it has me a bit nervous." I say as we walk up the steps towards the shiny, polished double doors already held open for us.
"Come on, don't worry about that. Dad promised to be on his best behavior."
"Yeah." I scoff, rolling my eyes.
"Just please try to have some fun, Ryder. It is my engagement party after all." Shawn says as we stepped into the lobby.
"I'll try."
Harry's POV
"Evening, mate." I hear Louis voice echo through the silence in my garage. I glance up from the side of my motorcycle, seeing him step around to the front of my car.
"Hey." I reply, before going back to tightening a loose bolt. "It's evening already?"
"Yup."
"Hmph." I hum carelessly tossing the wrench into the tool box beside me. "I could have sworn it was the afternoon."
"Have you been working on your motorcycle all day?" Louis asks as he walked over casually observing the polished Harley.
"No, I had an early shift at work. There wasn't that much to do so I got the rest of the day off." I reply, clearing my throat as I stood up, cleaning the oil off my hands on a red torn up rag.
"Speaking of work." Louis trails suggestively. "Niall told us about what happened the other night."
"Yeah?" I hesitantly say looking up at him.
Where is he going with this?
"Yeah. We are very happy to hear you haven't lost your edge."
"Okay, just because I don't use a gun on a daily basis or run a con doesn't mean I lost the ability on how to do it right." I say leaning down picking up the tool I was using before and begin whipping it clean with the rag.
"Yeah, well..." Louis mutters, lifting one of his legs up to swing it over the motorcycle seat, until he was straddling it. "To be honest, we were a bit worried that you might have lost your edge due to... what happened."
I frown and my hands immediately stop there cleaning as my eyes snap up at him.
"What do you mean?" I ask, furrowing my brows.
"Look man, before you go and cut my head off you should know it's not just me that thinks this." Louis says shaking his head, holding his hands up towards me in defense. "It's just that ever since Em-"
"Don't." I warn, stopping him mid-sentence.
Don't you dare bring it up.
"I'm sorry. It's just that ever since... then... you've lost focus on yourself and on your life." Louis shrugs and I stare at him, saying nothing; his words slowly registering as I carefully listen.
"I know it's hard, trust me. I get it." He nods.
No you don't.
"But you're only human, Harry, you're not superman."
"Shut up, Louis." I say sternly, my voice quiet but hard.
Stop talking.
"Sorry, but it's the truth." Louis presses making me clench my jaw.
Shut. Up.
"I know you don't like for us to talk about it and I don't mean to make you upset but maybe if we talk about it then-"
"No." I scowl.
"Come on, Harry." Louis pleas while climbing off the motorcycle. "Just please listen to me."
"Louis..." I warn, trying my best to reel in the anger that is quickly starting to build inside me.
Leave it alone.
"Harry, we are worried about you." Louis frowns stepping closer to me. "Can't you see that?"
Can't you see I don't want to talk?
"Louis, please be quiet." I mutter, my hand clenching tightly around the tool in my hand at my side as I stare at Louis trying to make him stop.
"What Niall told you the other night was true. You hardly socialize with us anymore." Louis explains clearly ignoring my request. "You always hide away in your house."
Fuck. I wonder why..
"I mean yes, you do go out but only for work. I mean is that really living?"
Do I have a purpose for living now?
"I get that you're trying to stay out of trouble but I'm not saying you have to go out and rob a museum or something." Louis shakes his head.
"We want you to be happy. We want you to understand that we are just trying to help you."
"And I want you to understand that I want to be alone." I retort.
"Look, I'm not saying that you have to go out and find a girlfriend." Louis says shaking his head, feeling a sudden pang in my chest at the word, eyeing Louis carefully as he eased himself off the motorcycle.
"We just want you to stop isolating yourself. It's not healthy." He says shaking his head.
"And what is considered healthy to you, Louis? Going out, getting wasted and fucking every girl that walks by?" I question, sounding annoyed and bitter.
"Look, I'm fine." I add. "Now, let's just stop with this conversation." I say turning around heading towards the counter by the white door that lead into the house.
I shake my head, looking down at the old rusty bolts I took off the motorcycle. I place the wrench down by the other tools I left out earlier before gathering the bolts in my hand.
"No, Harry. We are not ending the conversation." Louis says, disagreeing behind me and I could hear the irritation in his voice.
Well, he isn't the only one that is fucking pissed. How would he feel if everyone else kept on meddling into his life?
"See what I mean? You are pushing me away to then go hide in a corner."
I scoff, tossing the useless bolts into the trash. "Now, why would I hide in a corner when I have a sweet, warm bed upstairs?"
"Harry, this isn't funny." Louis scolds.
"No, Louis, you know what isn't funny?" I ask turning around scowling at him. "That five grown men can't comprehend that I want to be fucking alone. Do you guys find my pain amusing?"
"Of course not." Louis frowns. "We want to help you. We want the old Harry back."
"Yeah, well he is long gone so get fucking used to it." I snap turning around to clear up my tools.
"Do you honestly think that we don't know what's going on with you?" Louis continues, making me clench my jaw. "Do you think that we can't see that you hardly ever sleep? That you barely eat two meals a day? That you can't write a damn song because it reminds you off her and-"
"Shut up!" I bark, quickly turning around throwing my wrench across the room making it clatter against a few cans of paint that were stocked on a shelf before bouncing onto the floor.
"Louis dammit! Shut the fuck up!" I scowl at him, my hands fisted at my sides, nostrils flaring.
Louis blinks at me, momentarily at a loss.
"Harry, please I'm begging you to have reason." He says taking a step towards me, his eyes soft, a frown on his lips.
"You are angry, you are sad and you have a right to be." He pauses. "But you're letting it take over you and sadly...your life as well."
"Well what do you expect me to do, Louis?" I ask with a shrug, my voice sour.
"Maybe if you stop looking for whoever did it.. just for a while then-"
"No." I interrupt scowling at him.
"Okay, well how about if you forget about that promise you made?"
"No fucking way." I shake my head, glaring at him.
No you can't make me do that.
"Oh come on, mate. It's been years." Louis pleas. "You already have so much resting on your shoulders. Why would you-"
"I'm done with this." I say turning around walking towards the door stepping into the house, slamming the door shut behind me.
Ryder's POV
The whole room was filled with chatter made by adults dressed in fancy attire, mingling amongst themselves drinking champagne with classical music playing in the background. Despite me being dressed appropriately and this event being made in honor of my brother and his beloved Hannah, I felt completely out of place.
I sat next to Hannah while Shawn stood by her talking to one of the writers he was going to publish this year. A small smile tugs on my lips as I watch Shawn passionately talk about their work and how much success it'll bring to his publishing company, S.M Publishing.
"Oh, Ryder, I'm so happy you decided to come." Hannah smiles beside me taking my attention away from Shawn.
"Me too." I reply politely, in a small voice. "So how is work?"
"Oh, it's fantastic." She beams, her hazel eyes sparkling with delight. "I just got promoted to head editor."
"Congratulations!" I smile. "You are literally living my dream. Must be nice working for Vogue Fashion magazine."
"Oh, you will get there." She says reaching out placing her soft manicured hand over mine; that rested on my knee. "Speaking of, how is school going? You're graduating this year right?"
"Yes I am." I nod, casually picking up my champagne flute off the white clothed covered table, taking a sip. "I have one more test, then I go on break and when I return all I have left are my final exams. So fingers crossed, everything will go smoothly."
"It will, you are a very bright talented girl." Hannah smiles at me, her lips coated with a nude lip gloss.
"Anyways, I wanted to tell you something."
"What is it?" I ask.
"I was talking with my boss the other day and-"
"Dad, you made it!" Shawn, exclaims, his voice filled with happiness. I look away from Hannah seeing Shawn walking towards my dad with open arms.
"I couldn't miss my son's important day could I?" My dad replies patting Shawn on the back before stepping out of the hug. I purse my lips together.
What about my birthday?
"Hey, mom." Shawn smiles leaning down kissing the brunette women's cheek. "I'm so glad you two made it."
"Me too." Martha, his mom replies, and a second after, my dad's blue eyes flicker over to me making my heart stop.
"Ryder?" My dad blinks at me, not believing that I'm actually here. "I didn't see you, my darling." He says taking a step towards me as I stood from the chair.
"How are you?" He asks giving me a brief hug.
"I'm fine."
"You look beautiful, sweetheart. You should wear your hair up more often." Martha compliments me. My eyes divert to her as I tangle my hands in front of me.
"Thank you."
"Where is Evan?" My dad asks, his eyes scanning the room.
"Not coming." I reply not wanting to explain further.
Harry's POV
I step into my bedroom slamming the door shut behind me, racking both of my hands through my hair feeling exasperated. Anger coursed through my body making me feel like I'm about to explode.
Why can't they stay out of my business? Yes, I know they mean well but honestly I am not a damn child.
I let out a huff of air through my lips walking over to my desk towards the corner off the room. I grab the small brown chest, that sat on the corner of the desk, before opening up the small black latch in the front; lifting up the lid ignoring the thumbing off my heart as anxiety coursed through me. Bravely, I reach inside to the small pile of Polaroid pictures.
I hesitantly grab the pile, my eyes scanning the first picture and my heart comes crashing down to my stomach seeing the girl that both made my life complete and now is haunting it.
I sigh. "I'm sorry. I know I promised I wouldn't get you involved..." I frown, my thumb tracing over her gorgeous face, her shoulders cascaded with soft blond hair.
"I'm so sorry I broke my promise." I sniff, before quickly flipping through the memories looking for the specific picture I had in mind. Once I find it, I place the rest back into the box.
My eyes scan the picture of a small brunette girl with me by her side; both of us at a much younger age than now. My arm was wrapped around her shoulders hugging her to me both of us smiling at the camera that was held up in my other hand.
I smile a small smile, reaching into the box taking out the silver chain that was once hers. My eyes scan the small starfish shaped charm that hung from it, my mind briefly going back to the moment I bought it for her down by the beach when her father took us to escape the horror of where we used to stay.
I try my best to hide my smile as I walk up behind her, hiding one of my hands behind my back. Her father was standing a few feet away looking at other handmade items that were being sold. I gently tap her left shoulder to bring her attention from the seashells that were being sold on a small wooden table.
"Hi." She mutters, her brown hair blowing back behind her shoulders as the cool wind blew across the pier.
"Hi."
"What's behind your back?" She asks, confused, leaning to the side trying to peek behind me.
"Before I show you," I begin. "Promise you will never take it off."
"I promise." She nods. I smile, slowly bringing my hand out from behind my back raising it in front of her face, so the charm hang in full view.
She lets out a small gasp, gaping at the necklace reaching out to hold it in her hands.
"Harry, it's beautiful!" She exclaims, grinning with joy, her beautiful big brown eyes twinkling with delight.
"Turn around." I smile, taking the necklace out of her hands. She obliges and turns around pushing her hair to the side. I undo the latch gently placing the chain around her neck before clasping it in its place. I take a step back as she turns around, gently holding the silver starfish between her fingertips, looking down at it, her hair falling back on her shoulders.
"I know you're leaving soon so this is my promise to you." I mutter gazing down at her. "That no matter what happens, no matter how far our parents take us away from each other, we will find each other again."
A slow smile, tugs on her pink lips her eyes pooling with tears before she reaches out standing on her toes, wrapping her arms around my neck. "You're my best friend, Harry. I love you."
"I love you too." I nod, grasping my arms tightly around her small figure, holding her as close to me as I possibly could before she leaves my life forever.
"I always will, I promise."
"You meant so much to me. This promise, I will keep." I vow to myself. "Even if it takes years and years for me to find you."
Ryder's POV
"So dad did your boss get upset about asking for the day off?" Shawn asks as Hannah stood up to stand by his side. He smiles, wrapping an arm around her waist focusing back on our dad.
Gosh, they do look so cute together.
Hannah was dressed in a matte red, long sleeve dress. The dress was simple and buttoned around her neck but had a low cut in the front to reveal a bit of cleavage. Her longer blond hair was curled and pinned back into a bun, held by a sparkling barrette, a few strands of hair shaping her face.
The dress suited her; I could never pull anything like that off.
"Ryder?" Shawn says, pulling me out of my thoughts.
"Hmm, what?" I say blinking at him.
"Dad, asked you a question." He frowns.
"I'm sorry, what?" I ask glancing over at my dad.
"How was your birthday?" He asks briefly narrowing my eyes at him.
Is he seriously asking that question?
"Absolute shit. Thank you for asking." I answer, as if I haven't cussed out.
"Ryder." Shawn scolds, disapproving my uncivil bluntness.
"What! Do you want me to lie to him?"
"No but you can at least try to act civil and-"
"Shawn." My dad interrupts, frowning at him, slowly shaking his head. I continue to stare at my dad as he looks down, letting out a sigh.
"Ryder, can we go somewhere and talk?" He asks, his blue eyes flickering back up to me.
"Fine." I shrug.
"I'll be right back." My dad mutters to Martha giving her hand a squeeze before walking my way leading us out of the room. I silently follow closely behind as he leads us down the hallway.
"Look Ryder." My dad mutters, stopping in place once we walk around the corner back into the lobby; turning around to face me. "I get it that you are upset but-"
"Do you?" I ask, glaring up at him. "Because it seems like you don't give a damn about me."
"Of course, I care for you Ryder." My dad scowls. "How can you say that? You are my daughter. I love you. It's just that sometimes things just don't work out the way we want them to." He shrugs. I roll my eyes shaking my head at him.
"I admit, I am not the best father but I am trying my best, Ryder." He adds, placing his hands on my upper arms, giving them a squeeze. My eyes briefly look over at one of his hands at the rare comforting gesture before fixating back up at him.
"You have to believe me. All I want is for you to be happy, to give you everything you need and want."
Oh, really?
"Did I ask you to find another wife?" I mutter, suddenly feeling a wave of anger starting to rush through my body.
"Pardon?" My dad frowns, blinking at me.
"You said that you want me happy and that you want to give me everything I need and want, right?" I shrug. "So did I ask you to replace mom? Did I ask for you to find another woman to try to make us seem like we're a normal, perfect family when we are not."
"Ryder," My dad shakes his head, dropping his hands down by his sides. "Your mother was the one that decided to leave, no one made her."
"You didn't stop her." I retort.
"How could I?" My dad asks sounding defensive. "What kind of man would I be if I forced her to stay? Do you think she would have been happy?"
Do you think I'm happy?
"Did I ask for an older brother?" I question, my voice bitter, completely ignoring what he just said.
I know I shouldn't bring Shawn into this, it's not his fault. He is the best brother anyone can ask for but I'm just so upset right now that I feel like I need to find other people to blame when in reality my unhappiness is my own doing. Well, mostly.
"No, I did not ask for any of those things but you still did them anyway. So don't you dare ask me to be civil tonight because if you can't respect my own wishes then I will not respect yours." I snap before moving to step around him.
"Now wait a second young lady," My dad scolds, gripping onto my upper arm turning me back around to face him. "You have no right to-"
"No, you have no right to tell me what I can and can't do! " I hiss through clenched teeth, pulling my arm out of his grip. My dad blinks at me, completely taken aback.
"I'm not a little girl." I shake my head, my lips pressed into a hard line, gazing back and forth between his eyes. "I am twenty years old, but I guess you don't know that do you? I mean since, you didn't show up to my birthday dinner."
The scowl on my dad's face slowly fades as his lips part at my words. His blue eyes divert down to the polished floor as hurt flashed through them, remaining mute, while chewing on the inside of his cheek.
"I'm leaving. Tell Shawn I'll see him later." I say turning around on my heel quickly stalking towards the hotel entrance.
I let out a deep breath as I climbed into Shawn's car after asking the valet for the keys, slamming the door shut behind me. The rain outside wasn't too bad and normally this kind of weather keeps me at peace but not right now, right now I am beyond irritated.
Does my dad not see that all I want is for him to spend time with me, to actually show that he cares? Actions speak louder than words.
I let out a small groan running my hands over my face before letting them fall on either side of the steering wheel. My eyes suddenly focus on Shawn's cellphone in a small cupboard above the radio and suddenly it's like I just stepped into heaven, my anger no longer subduing me, as a slow smile tugs on my lips.
Well Shawn, looks like this is the time to hold up your end of the deal.
Author's Note
Hello my loves! Its been a while, how are all of my cutie pies doing? I hope you are all doing great.
Sorry I have not posted in such a long time but you know life can be busy. Speaking of life, how is the new year treating you guys so far? How is school going?
The new year is starting off well for me so hopefully it'll stay like that for a while, cause its nice feeling that things are going good for a change.
I also would like to say thank you so much for those who have nominated me and my stories in the fan fiction awards, it means so much to me especially since this is the first time anyone has nominated me for anything. Now voting ends January 30th, so please if you have not made a nomination please do :)
So what did you guys think of the new update? Who do you think Harry is so closed off and angry? What do you think Ryder will do?
Please let me know your thoughts down below, don't be a ghost reader! Where are you reading from? Canada? Europe? I'm curious as to where my readers are from. Also, please don't forget to vote and share. Love you! <3