Chapter 8
Luke managed to get a few names out of him - family members that had records of abuse that could help including her mother and even himself; we just had to look deeper. As of now, that wasn't a concern of mine.
Five minutes into driving in that car with him after leaving, I couldn't take it anymore. "Pull over," I said in a shaky voice. I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to be away from him, the suffocating air between us because with everything I just found out, the last thing I needed was that tension between Luke and I in that stuffy car.
He didn't question me on it. Luke understood what just happened and how it was affecting me - mainly because it also affected him. Out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but snowy cornfields around us, Luke pulled the cop car over on the shoulder of the vacant road. Vacant. Nothing around us. That's the best thing I could have asked for.
Once he stopped, I threw open my door and got out. "Just give me a minute," I said to his worried expression before slamming the door behind me, welcoming the fresh cold air around me. Holding my coat to me more, I took a few steps along the shoulder and leaned against the side of the car.
Breathing a sigh of relief at being alone out in the open, that tension was no gone - the awkwardness between Luke and I, I mean - I looked out across the country. It was a weight lifted and now, I had space, even if just for a minute.
I knew I had to get over my personal issues with what Martin told us. Honestly, it was scary and it freaked me out. I mean, I know I'm strong and could try to shake that nasty little tradition our family has. But the more I think about it, the more realistic that future could be for me. Because Clare tried. She tried not to be like them and it didn't work. And now, she harassed and abused me worse than anyone else in the family has. She was the worst to me; so how could I shake that?
Having kids were off the table. It was a sad fact. I mean, I never planned on having kids in the first place because with my position in society, who would want a crazy girl for a wife? Who would want to have kids with me? But even still, I always liked the idea of having children. Now, that idea was shifting to where I would be too scared to have kids if ever given the chance. It seemed like too big of a risk, even if I thought I could break the cycle. That's what Clare thought. She thought she could break the cycle but she didn't. She made it much worse. I didn't want to risk that.
But even if I don't have kids, would that still stop me from becoming like Clare? I had no idea and that idea would haunt me until one day, I would find out.
My eyes were closed, my breaths were heavy, and my head was pounding now. I didn't want to get back in the car, no matter how cold it was outside, no matter how long I have been leaning here against the car.
Opening my eyes, I looked out across the fields of snow, a highway in the distance, and a stop sign to my left where the road was. I bit my lip, looking down as my thoughts continued to spiral out of control; with 'what ifs' and different ideas where I might end up.
I don't know how long I was leaning against the car for. Probably a while when I heard Luke's door open from behind me and I knew he was getting out to check on me. I appreciated the fact that he gave me time to myself for a bit. But now, I knew he needed to make sure I was okay. Either that or we needed to leave.
Eyes finding him as he walked around the car to where I was standing, I gave him a small smile even though it was forced. Stopping next to me, he leaned against the car next to me. His hands buried in the pockets of his coat, I felt him sigh from next to me, his shoulder pressing into mine. As he stood there next to me, looking out into the empty field from the side of the road, I could feel that tension evaporate, even with him right next to me.
"You wont be like her," he said.
Glancing up to him, I saw his lips were pursed and his eyes stretched over the land. Looking down to me, he sighed before he looked back up.
"You don't know that," I said.
"Yes I do," he said immediately after, his voice quiet.
I sighed. "This has been happening for hundreds of years. Just because I know it's wrong doesn't mean it wouldn't happen to me. Clare was good, tried to resist it but couldn't. I got it worse than anybody yet and you think I'll be fine, normal?"
"There is something you have that Clare doesn't. It's something that tells me that wont happen to you."
I scoffed, looking out across the snowy fields, not wanting to look at him. "Like what?"
Finally though, I could feel his eyes fall to me when he tilted his head to look at me. Finding his eyes, sincerity filled them along with absolute power behind what he was said.
"Heart. You have heart whereas she did not."
I pursed my lips, looking down. "She was strong though, and good at--"
"She was strong and trying to be a good person. But she didn't have the heart you have, the will to not make it happen. You do. I know because I can see it in you. I believe in you. Plus, you have me," he whispered in such an intimate tone.
I swallowed before looking back up to my side to him. What he said was sweet and it made me feel better over all. But how could he be sure? Especially with that last part. I didn't want to bring up what I did for the fact that it scared me and it's been on my mind for a while. Because eventually, it was something I'd have to face: our future.
"How do I know? Hmm? Tell me something, what's going to happen after all this is over? Where are you going to be and where will I be?" I didn't know and it killed me. Mainly because I knew that where I'd be wouldn't be with him.
He didn't say anything for a bit as he stared out in space and I knew it was a hard question for him to answer - because neither of us knew where we would be. But I wanted to know where he thought he would be, what he planned to do after, and where he wanted to see me be.
He took in a deep breath, thinking it over. The silence only grew between us before he finally managed to answer me. "I don't know where we will be. I just know that my job to myself is to give you the life you deserve. And I will do anything to do that for you. That means staying with you and helping you as a friend to ensure it. I know you would be strong enough to handle things on your own; I have that much faith in you. I'm just saying that if you don't think so, then I will be right here, right at your side to help you. Do you understand?"
I could feel my body slowly start to relax at his reassuring and calming words. Exhaling a gust of pure relief at his words, I knew that he would help me no matter where we are in life. Whether he goes his own way and I go mine, he will still be there for me, to make sure I'm okay. That was all I could ask for now.
I nodded and glanced back up into his bright green eyes. They lit up the world around me in the cold, making it warm as our hair blew around us in the wind. "Tell me something though. Do you feel sorry for Clare?" I asked.
He shook his head, his eyebrows dipping in thought. "No. She made her choices based on selfishness. She couldn't handle the thought of her children having it better than her. It was such a selfish choice. And though what she went through as a kid was... terrible, I can't let myself feel sorry for her too. Because I can't stand the thought of being weak again because of her; I will never get over what she did to you and never forgive myself for letting it go on. And it was because I was weak so I wont feel sympathy again over her. Do you feel sorry for her?"
I groaned. "A little. But that doesn't change anything. Like you said, she made her choice and that was to ruin me."
"And we will ruin her," he said, scowling. Staring deeply into my eyes, I could see how dedicated he was to that now. For me. "I promise you, we will take her down no matter how hard it will be."
***
We stopped at Clare's old house, where she grew up, and where the new owners now occupied. That visit was very brief though. The house was worn down, old, and not welcoming. Just like the new owners who gave us dirty annoyed looks. They wanted to be left alone; that was clear enough. You figure a man in a police uniform would make people cooperative but not these people. The only thing we managed to get out of them was that the people that use to live there were very nice. Ha. The ability to lie like a professional ran in the family too if they could fool these people that they were good and nice.
By the time we got back home, we noticed we were quite early for what we expected. It was only 2:00 in the afternoon when we opened the front door and walked in. We had a few hours until she was home so that was good. She wouldn't have a clue. As far as she would be concerned, Luke got out of work early to go home.
Kicking off my boots and taking off my coat, I headed upstairs instantly at hearing Jack barking from my room. Because Jack wasn't potty trained yet, he wasn't allowed to roam the house freely the whole day while we were gone. So he was restricted to just my room. Even though it seemed bad to me, I guess it was better than him being locked in his cage all day. A dog like Jack wasn't meant to get locked up. He was a big furry ball of energy. My room was just enough room for him to roam. Of course, it could mean he would go to the bathroom up there too, which I hope wouldn't happen. Clare was enough of an animal to handle. Lord knows how many accidents she had before she was trained.
Smiling when I got to my closed door, I could hear him on the other side, scratching at my door to get out since he heard us get home. Laughing, I flung open my bedroom door and Jack was a my legs a second later, happy to be free of my room and excited I was home.
Jumping up against me for attention, I bent over and petted him, rubbing his ears as I said hello to him. "Well hello to you too," I chuckled as he licked my face repeatedly, wagging his tail as he jumped up to reach me.
After I had to go downstairs with him, I escorted him outside to do his business. When he came back in the house, full of snow, he ran past Luke who was sitting on the chair in the living room (resting after driving for so long) and zipped upstairs like a spaz. His little paws were pounding on the steps as he made his way up towards my room. Laughing, we watched as he sped back down the stairs again a few seconds later and this time, he was carrying one of his toys - a fuzzy orange dog bone.
Sitting down on the couch, Jack jumped up next to me with his toy and I took it from him, waving it around as he jumped for it and climbed all over me. Laying back, I sighed as Jack ripped the bone from my hand and whipped it around by shaking his head back and forth.
"What do you want for lunch?" Luke asked after a minute of us just sitting there and me teasing the playful little dog. "We haven't ate since this morning."
I was starving and planned to eat soon enough anyway. "I don't care. As long as it's good."
He smiled slightly and as he got to making lunch, I continued to fool around with Jack. It was a pretty laid back afternoon. We just relaxed, ate lunch, played with Jack, watched TV.... It was nice. And though we just had Christmas for a break, this was what a real break felt like because though Christmas was great, it put a lot of pressure on my shoulders. Even for a few hours as it was after we got home, it was nice doing just nothing.
That evening was a completely different story though. After Clare got home, Luke had to put his guard back up and I had to simply endure her. I admit though, now that I know all that stuff about Clare, I looked at her differently. Not with exactly understanding, more just a different take on her. I was disgusted with her at the same time as I felt sorry for her. I knew that if she grew up with a normal family, she wouldn't be like she is now. She wouldn't have had any urge to hurt me, make me suffer, or kill Emily. However, though that influence took her over, she still let it and it was as if I was even more disgusted by her reasons to torture me. Our of pure selfishness and jealousy. With how far she went, I was also quite positive that it was more than making it even. She enjoyed it.
I made dinner since Luke made lunch. However, though the food was good, it wasn't worth the shitty company of my oh so loving mother sitting next to me. Luke and I were sick of her conversation starters because we knew how fake she was being. Tonight started the same as every other.
"So, how was your day Albany?" She asked me politely.
"Just fucking dandy," I muttered. She didn't even bother scolding me, she was use to my negative responses.
"Yours honey?" Clare asked, looking to her husband who was sitting across from us. Glancing to me, he looked back to her and answered.
"Boring. Like I said, strangely it wasn't a busy day so I took off early."
"Good," she said, nodding. You could just feel her begging tone to be asked the same question. It was rather expected at this point, an obligation. That's what happens when you get married, folks. It all goes down hill from there to the need to ask questions that were irrelevant just to ask them. Just to feel as if there was some form of communication there.
"So how was your day?" Luke asked her.
"Great. All the kids were so excited to be back to school. It made my day a little better," she smiled.
Same old boring talk. Of course, we had to watch TV as a family as it got later in the evening. And when Clare got as close to Luke as she could again, I figured I was tired enough to go up for bed. Better than witnessing the guy I love kissing back the bitch from hell.
I could only take so much. But that didn't mean I was all for what he was going through. He was losing his patients with her and he was suffocating, no matter how much he said he was okay and could deal with it. I couldn't imagine being married to a guy that pretends to be normal then is really some psycho killer and then pretend as if I didn't know. That would be pure torture for me to have to continuously lie and act.... I just wished he was free of her, that we both were.
By the time I showered and attempted to keep Jack in his cage - and failed - I got under my covers and tried to go to sleep. Unlike last night, I figured I would be able to. I was pretty tired and though Jack just wanted to play, I was tired. Of course, when Jack finally calmed down and fell asleep next to me on my bed, something else was keeping me awake. The sound of something tapping... at my window.
I didn't want to deal with anything else tonight. The noise demanded my attention no matter how quiet it was. It was a natural sound as I listened to it was when I realized that, the chills ran over me. As I laid there, the first thoughts that came to me after hearing that small knock on my window was that it was them. The people that were planning to come after me for getting Mark killed. Frozen in place for a minute, I knew I couldn't act invisible anymore and be scared when I heard the light and nearly silent knocks again. I was just lucky it didn't wake Jack up since they were very light little taps.
Turning over towards the window to see what it was, facing what was making my heart beat a thousands beats per second, I let out a sigh of relief at seeing the moonlight from outside light up the figure that was kneeling on the outside of my window. His face brightly lit up, he smirked that famous grin when he noticed I saw him.
Groaning, I sat up and crawled back towards my window. Kneeling up myself on my bed to unlatch the locks on my windows, all I could wonder about was how the hell he was able to get up on our roof - in the winter, in the night without much light to see. He sure didn't have a problem using the door in the past so it would be interesting to see his motive for this one.
Jack woke up I noticed as he began to bark at Francis on the other side of the window. "Jack," I hissed, looking down at where he tried to scratch against the window to get at Francis - in either excitement or protection, I didn't know. He was just barking and my first fear was waking Clare up. "Shhh! Jack!" I whispered loudly to him.
By the time I unlocked the window and opened it for him to come in, I attended to Jack. Trying to calm him down, I noticed that was no longer needed when Francis rolled on in on my bed backwards. Before he could shut the window, he took off his snowy boots and left them out on the roof as to not get my bed wet. Once his boots were off, he shut the window from where he was now sitting on my bed and getting a friendly ambush from Jack.
He took his coat off and threw it on the floor after he stood up for a moment. A second later though, he returned to sit before me on the bed, crossing his legs and it reminded me of where Luke and I would talk. He would always sit in front of me like that and demand my eyes to meet his with how close he seemed. Besides that, all I managed to do was continue sitting there in my bed, astonished and not sure what to make of this surprised visit.
"Well hello little Jackie," Francis said petting him. I scowled. What a great threatening watch dog he was as he was getting his stomach and head scratched.
"Francis," I said, harshly. Can you blame me though? I was on edge as it was and I was tired too.
"What?"
"Why are you here?" I asked, more curious now as I let myself realize that it had to be important if he was dropping by like this. His cheeks were rosy, glasses foggy from the weather outside. But I also noticed that his hair was slicked back, looking greasy and his clothes were sloppy and baggy too. That only could mean one thing.
As Jack climbed up Francis more, licking his cold face, he smiled slightly but I could see the truth behind it. He didn't come for a friendly chat. He was here to tell me something serious. Moving Jack back to his side on the bed as he ran his hand over him, his hazel eyes found mine through his clearing frames. And they were radiating enough worry to completely wake me from my tired state; I was on full alert.
"Well," he sighed and looked away. "I don't want to say it yet. So I'll start on a lighter note: that kiss you gave Luke for Christmas.... Damn. I knew I should have asked Santa for something like that," he smirked.
Though I saw how worried he was before, like me, he had trouble showing his softer side a little - which would be required I see to telling me the reason he came. So of course he had to start on a 'lighter note'. The lighter part wasn't working because it all seemed to crash down on my shoulders, the reality of it all.
"Y-You saw... us outside that night at your parents house on Christmas?"
"Oh you bet! Once again, congratulations. I can only imagine what else has been happening between you two. I only caught you guys twice but I know there have been more 'incidences' to--"
I shook my head and said a little too loudly, "That was the second time! You caught us in action the only two times we kissed."
"Good try, Albany. By now, you either banged his brains out, played with his thingy, or kissed him a dozen other times at least. How realistic is it that I just so happen to catch you kissing the only times you ever did?"
I couldn't believe the irony here. Luke and I kissed twice. And of course, Francis had to witness both of those occurrences and by just chance. Eyes wide, trying to defend my case, I saw his amused expression and knew there was no beating it, even though I was telling the truth.
"No really, that was the second--"
He let out a soft laugh, teeth bright with his happiness of giving me a hard time. And yet... it was different from every other time he teased me about Luke and I. As if his heart wasn't in it this time. I knew it had to be because whatever he was about to say, his real reason for coming, would ruin the amusement he was trying to create here now. He wanted to tell me this with a light air to start with. Maybe it was funny for him but if he saw us twice... that only made me paranoid. Who else could have seen possibly?
"Whatever," he put his hands up in surrender. "I just know what I saw. And I saw what you wouldn't admit to me: you love Luke. Love him, sugar!" He nearly shouted and I slapped his leg, needing him to shut up.
"Would you shut up!" I said and could feel a smile come to my lips before I forced it away.
But once the chuckles he belched out started to die, and once I saw his real concern cross his face, I accepted that it was going to be bad, whatever he had to say. Silence filled the room for a moment and though he created a lighter air, it wasn't working anymore. It faded with every second of silence surrounding us. I had to ask the question that I knew would be clearly hard for him to answer if he had to lighten the mood to begin with (which I can disagree with him over; it just made me more paranoid but as long as he was happy...).
"Um... I'm afraid to ask but... why are you really here? I can tell it's bad...."
I saw his face drop as well as his eyes, focusing on Jack's hair and petting him as he just looked down towards him before he answered me. And when he did... that's when I just wished I could just wake up.
"They are coming."
I should have been prepared to hear that... but I wasn't. What came over me right then... was a feeling I don't think I ever experienced before. Probably because there was never anything like this that happened before.
Mark was a different story. He was one individual with a temper and though that was terrifying, though I nearly did die, it didn't hit me as much as it did now. This was now a group of people that were determined to take me down and with how much Francis claimed they have grown, it didn't help my fear that was spreading through me.
"When...?" I asked, afraid of the answer.
I knew it was only a matter of time. Luke, I knew, had to think of something. I didn't know what to expect though. The pounding headache that was slowly coming though shouldn't be a surprise. I should have been ready for this. It was my fault that it hit me hard now. I just didn't think this would happen this soon, not when we were finally getting into finding evidence for Clare! How the hell were we suppose to handle this now at the same time?
"I don't know," he said. "I just know sometime within the next week. I know it's not that specific but that's all I would dare to ask. If I pushed for more, that might have gotten suspicious."
I groaned and could feel the anxiety of the matter start to invade my mind even more. I nodded though. "I understand. Do you know how? Where? Probably here."
Francis shook his head with an apologetic expression. "I don't know. I figure they would only send one person, maybe two. And from what I learned tonight, it will--"
The sound of my bedroom door opening interrupted him and when both our eyes turned to see who it was, Luke stood in the doorway. He looked at me then his brother with surprised and wide eyes. After a moment of just staring at his cold brother sitting on my bed, I heard him sigh and mutter under his breath, "Why couldn't this late shit have happened over break when I didn't have to work?" Louder, he spoke up to specifically Francis. "You better have a good reason, Francis, for breaking in."
"Breaking in?" he asked in outrage. "Hey, I knocked. She let me in."
"Through the bedroom window. What's wrong with the front door?" Luke asked him.
"I was being nice. I didn't want to wake you guys up. Especially Clare. I tried the front door, it was locked."
Luke raised his eyebrows and glanced back to me before stepping in the room and shutting the door, staring his brother down. Francis probably should have phrased that differently. "And why wouldn't you want us to know you were stopping by? Hmm?"
I knew what Luke was suggesting and I rolled my eyes despite all the hectic madness erupting inside me. He was accusing Francis of coming over - through my window - just to see me romantically or whatever the hell he was thinking. Luke needed some sense kicked in him.
I turned towards Luke and said as calmly as I could, "He is here because he has new information to tell us. So shut it."
Jack barked quietly, getting in on the action as he wagged his tail at all the people around him so suddenly. Two visitors in less than a few minutes. I'd be excited too if I was Jack. Of course, he didn't understand the circumstances to which this little chat was happening under. Otherwise, he's be panicking inside like I was.
"What do you need to tell us?" Luke asked as he neared us, sitting down as well on my bed.
I answered him. The thought kept running through my head, over and over.... Francis once again repeated it for Luke to hear. "They are coming for her."
I looked down towards the bed, my mind spinning after hearing those words again. I could feel my stomach start to twist and I just wanted everything to be over. How did things get out of hand where people were now coming after me to kill me?
I found Luke's eyes when his searched for mine, growing but he didn't let it faze him - not now at least. Turning back to Francis, he asked him very carefully, "What was it exactly they said?"
Francis exhaled deeply, thinking back. "Well, I casually brought up Albany and how they planned to take her down. All they told me was next week sometime. And that whoever is doing it will be sure to enjoy it."
"As in... whoever did it would find it personal. This is all personal, to everyone isn't it?" Luke asked.
Francis shook his head. "No. There are so many more people involved now...." Francis shook his head in disbelief at the thought of it. "It's one huge gang. And I'm not talking those druggy assholes we hung out with either," he said to me, looking between us. "No, it's more than that. It's a for sure business going on. A deal. For smuggling. Some dude up at the top is running it all with connections to everything. Including trained killers - which I figured was BS but who knows. Besides drugs, they are smuggling in weapons. It's a business and it isn't just personal. For us though, in this case, it's personal to some people and those specific people are handling taking Albany out."
I didn't like the sounds of that but after Luke said what he did next, I felt a little relieved. "But you said before... that whoever plans to kill Albany will enjoy it. Meaning, it's not going to be one of these stiffs from this so called 'business'. It's going to be someone you knew, one of the young druggie assholes. And if that's the case, that's good enough for now. They have no experience and they will be distracted if it's personal and not one of those other guys."
Francis nodded, seeing the positive to that. It was a small positive but it was enough when I felt all hope was lost. It gave me a better chance to live knowing that whoever planned to kill me wasn't an expert and would be someone I use to know. That's a way to lighten up my day; just peachy now! Just as long as it's not some professional killer, then I can get shot and die happy!
I felt my head fall in my hands as I rested my elbows on my crossed legs, inhaling and exhaling as smoothly as I could. Rubbing the back of my neck, I heard silence between them and after I picked up my head and looked between them, I saw that it hit them too. They knew I could die. We didn't know when exactly, or how, where.... All we knew was that it would happen by the end of next week. That is unless we do something. And right now, I didn't know what options we had.
It was too unexpected. All I knew was that Luke was preparing - or at least he said we would. How? I didn't know. Hell, maybe he had everything planned out by now. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't. One thing became very clear now though: it was time to do something now.
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Okay guys, thoughts? A lot for Albany to deal with in one day. So what do you guys figure will happen next? How will they prepare for something like that?
Anyway, I also wanted to know what you guys think about my pacing. Is it too fast - the plot and everything? Hope you liked it and will answer because I'm curious :)