three days till yoongi's (my beautiful sweet handsome caring muffin) birthday!
I'm so excited!! it's been a long time since I've seen yoongi so happy and so ethereal! I just want to make it the best day ever for him!!!
after all, even through ups and downs, those moments still make us who we are today, which is really why this is the most beautiful moment in life.
I got way too deep there but whatever!!!!!
I love yoongi so so sos o much
I will always be there to support him and I will not just leave him feeling like shit ever again
-jimin, the happiest boy alive
—
"holy shit, I'm so hot." namjoon whispers to himself. it's sudden. but this is normal, everyday life. Seokjin realizes he has to get used to this...unfortunately. he's making two bowls of cheap ramyeon for the two of them. it's 12 am in the morning, the ass crack of dawn.
and this—my friends—is what we call a date.
"okay," Seokjin chirps, bringing two steaming bowls to Namjoon who's sitting on a table outside the convenience store. "time to eat." he smiles at Namjoon, placing his bowl is front of him, giving him a pair of chopsticks.
"amazing," Namjoon mutters to himself. "can i say something?"
"of course, baby." says Seokjin.
"who knew we'd end up like this?" Namjoon says, "who knew we would be so happy?"
Seokjin laughs at that. "we'll always be happy, idiot. it may feel like you've been sad forever, but really things will look up soon. happiness comes early or late for all of us. just trust yourself that you'll be happy soon." Seokjin reaches out to hold namjoon's hand. "soon." he whispers.
"i love you." Namjoon replies.
"and i, you." Seokjin whispers.
they kiss under the ass crack of dawn—stars barely lighting up the sky. the smell of cheap noodles comfort them.
—
two days left!!!! I CANT WAIT!!!
i've bought a lot of party stuff!! like cute hats...KUMAMON hats.....Yoongi will look so cute in it
ive also been thinking of having a cherry blossom date with Yoongi once it's spring? the cherry blossoms wil be so beautiful. just like Yoongi
he dyed his hair!! it's black!! it looks so cute on him. i sometimes tease him that he looks like a small emo child. but he glares at me and calls me a kid.
can you believe it? i can't believe we've come this far.
sometimes i cant believe i ever thought i liked Jeongguk
well, actually, i did like him
maybe for just his looks... or maybe it was because i just thought he was cute. i don't know. that was the me a year ago! ive changed. ive changed so so sosososososo much and im SO thankful
and guess what? im so glad i got to love him
im so happy that he loves me back
im so, so happy. so glad
-by Jimin, who is flawed
—
Jeongguk and Taehyung happened.
the only words coursing through taehyung's mind is yikes.
he is not here with Jeongguk at the theme park. he does not think Jeongguk looks adorable in that fake minnie mouse headband. and he definitely is not blushing so badly because they're holding hands and because Jeongguk is smiling at him really, really sweetly like some cute marshmallow—just no.
"let's go on the carousel," and Jeongguk is glowing right now, trench coat over a light knitted sweater with his signature ripped jeans. "let's go, hyung."
and for some reason, Taehyung feels really weak under jeongguk's voice, his touch, his everything.
"fine." Taehyung gives up. "as long as you bring me to the washroom if i throw up and call me cute."
they end up going on the carousel.
Taehyung doesn't stay on one of the horses—he stays in the teacup that doesn't move. Jeongguk doesn't go on one of the horses either, even if he was clearly gazing at big, jet black stallion with a white and gold seat—with gold pedals. his eyes were glazed when he was looking at it. Taehyung swore he would fucking fight that goddamn horse.
but that doesn't really matter now because Jeongguk is sitting opposite of him in this small teacup, looking like the most happiest and gorgeous boy alive. Taehyung doesn't know if he'll really, really start to like Jeongguk after all the shit he's done, but it's a start.
the only thing he sees now is Jeongguk's soft skin illuminated by the bright lights of this spinning carousel. the pale blues hit his dark brown hair and he's just smiling so widely right now Taehyung wonders just how he's keeping a poker face right now.
Jeongguk just looks so happy.
it makes Taehyung wonder how he never even thought about him before.
"hey, hyung," says Jeongguk, voice muffled by the loud noises of the carneval music, "you okay? sorry if you didn't want to go on. i just thought you'd be happy if we came here."
fuck.
"no, it's okay." Taehyung says. "it's fun. thanks, Jeongguk."
the way Jeongguk brightens up at that melts taehyung's heart.
"really?" says Jeongguk eagerly.
"really." Taehyung replies.
it takes Jeongguk a second to reply, looking at his knees.
he ends up not replying.
and Taehyung realizes he probably looks like an idiot. he's dressed like an idiot. sunglasses perched on the back of his neck, mask hanging from his chin, blue patterned dress shirt under a black blazer with light-wash blue cuffed jeans.
the ride is over, and they get off the carousel.
Jeongguk is still holding taehyung's hands, and Taehyung's his.
it's kind of awkward—just like this. it hasn't been long since they started dating. they're a fresh new couple. taehyung's feelings towards Hoseok had delayed these other flowering feelings for Jeongguk, and he basically trapped himself (or dug himself) in his own hole. thinking about it is embarrassing—because just a few days ago he'd slammed his door right in jeongguk's face and told him to fuck off.
just a few days ago, Jeongguk probably felt like shit.
and just a few days ago—Taehyung started to wonder, what if? what if he was in love with Jeongguk—but he never knew it? Hoseok is like the straightest person Taehyung has ever known and for the love of god, jung Hoseok jokes around a lot. he probably wouldn't mind being with a guy. it's just that Taehyung wonders what if jung Hoseok isn't just for him? what if they weren't meant to be? what if they aren't meant to be?
so, Taehyung will let this slide. he'll date Jeongguk, sure.
and he's sure that he'll have feelings, flowery feelings, like butterflies are floating around in his stomach, for Jeongguk in no time.
"Jeongguk." Taehyung says suddenly. jeongguk's hands flinch against his.
Jeongguk looks up. his lips curl into a smile.
"i love you." he says.
in no time, Taehyung repeats to himself.
—
one. more. day.
IVE GOT EVERYTHING READY!!
soon
oh my god i have to chill right now
im just so excited
i remember Yoongi being so bitter all the time and i remember when i used to always walk with him to college—i remember looking up into the bittersweet sky thinking i love Jeongguk—but really? i dont think i did
i think it was just a small crush
i remember seeing Yoongi there when i confessed to him
i remember crying about it
i remember crying even harder because Yoongi almost killed himself
he almost killed himself
and i was the cause
because he thought i didn't love him back. he was just so miserable. he had a terrible eating disorder and — it just hurts to think he was hurting so so fucking much and i wasn't EVER there to help him—to hold him, to tell him everything was going to be okay for fucks sake
i realized too late the feelings id hidden so deep in my heart
but its okay
see where we are now?
Yoongi gets to celebrate one more year of living
if i hadnt came
he wouldve bled to death
and i would never forgive myself for that.
-Jimin, who contemplates the past
—
Hoseok spends most of his days lazing around in his apartment, getting stuff at the nearby convenience store, and binge watching multiple tv shows ever since he got netflix premium.
for his next essay—his professor's left his students to write about whatever they feel to write.
We are Young forever
Jung Hoseok
Hoseok writes about Yoongi, Jimin, Taehyung, Jeongguk, Namjoon, and Seokjin.
he doesn't leave himself out, of course. as a matter of fact—he plays a very strong role in his essay.
he writes about the ups and downs of youth. he writes about how all these things are connected by fate, destiny—whatever. you can only contemplate about a path you could've chosen, but you will never be able to live it. he writes about that. and he writes so goddamn hard about it.
if he hadn't told Jimin to go over to yoongi's? Yoongi would've bled to death.
if he had loved Taehyung?
Taehyung wouldn't be happy.
Hoseok is sure about this, and he thinks Taehyung had thought about this as well.
what if they dated?
it just wasn't meant to be, Hoseok writes.
it was fate, he continues.
why? he asks.
because, forever we are young. he ends.
~
honestly i kind of get really sentimental thinking abt this book
i was writing this whole chapter with young forever on repeat so excuse the references
i just wanted to wrap this story up properly
so, the next chapter is the last
and i hope it will be a satisfying one
thank you for supporting this book. thank you for 30k. thank you for 2k. this is almost goodbye, my friends.