After what turned out to be a busy afternoon I've finally found time to cook myself a nice meal, spaghetti bolognese. Garlic bread cooking, 'Dirty dancing' waiting in the next room, and my pyjamas already on I plated everything up with an ice cold drink. Enjoying a little bit of me time I put my feet up on the couch eying up Patrick Swayze, only seconds later to be disturbed by my phone ringing.
But it's Charlie.
"Hiya," I smiled to myself.
"Hey baby, how are you?" he asked.
"I'm okay, what about you? are you settled in?"
"Im good babe, the place is amazing."
"Yeah, whats the weather like?"
"Hot, its gorgeous, you'd love it."
"I would, I wish I was there."
"Me too, but I'll take you away when I get back, just me and you on a beach somewhere."
"Yeah, maybe. Two weeks will fly won't it?"
"Course," he mumbled. "Two weeks."
"Is everything.." I started to ask before he spoke over me.
"Is Aston alright?"
"Oh, yeah he's fine. Out and about."
"Oh is he?"
"He had a date today, I didn't ask too many questions. Charlie is everything alright?" I asked again.
"Fine, why?"
"I don't know."
Sighing he confirmed something is defiantly wrong.
"Charlie what is it?"
"Babe..I won't..I.." he stuttered. "I dont think I'll be out here for two weeks."
"Oh, will it not take that long?"
"No babe, I mean we're going to be out here longer."
"What? Well how much longer?" I gulped.
"I don't know, as long as it takes. There's new opportunities cropping up."
"But you said one job, how many more are going to crop up?"
He didn't answer.
"Charlie?"
"I don't know babe, It's work."
"So you keep saying, but what about me?"
"You know I'm doing this for you, for us."
"Do I? Are you, really?"
"Baby, come on, I'll be home soon."
"But how soon?" I started to sob.
"Couple of months, maybe three."
"Months?" I spat. "I knew this was coming, those tickets you didn't book."
"No, I thought I would be home."
"Yeah right," I mumbled.
"Don't be like this."
"What did you expect me to be like? 'Okay baby, see you when I see you?!"
Sighing he let me fight back.
"I never see you anymore, you're always jetting off and leaving me at home. This isn't fair, It hurts, you don't think about what I want at all."
"I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt you."
"Come home then," I stupidly pleaded.
"I can't. Not right now."
"No, you never can."
Fighting back the tears down the phone I stopped myself saying anything more, I could scream, I could cry, and I could shout, but what's the use? I knew this was coming, deep down I've always known.
"I don't think I can do this anymore Charlie."
"I know you're in shock, but I'll sort something out."
"But.."
"I have to go babe."
"What?"
"I'll skype you tomorrow, we can chat properly," he promised saying goodbye in record time.
Angrily slamming my phone down I sobbed. I hate the way he treats me, the lies, the soppy words, it's all an act. He's not sorry, this was all planned and he the only place he has to go to tonight is the clubs. I honestly can't do this anymore, and the worst bit is im not at all surprised.
Sitting home alone drowning in my sorrows that I will soon regret, I began to think. Depress myself.
Ever since I left home and moved to London I've wanted a perfect relationship, nothing high maintenance or something you'd see in the movies, just one perfect enough for me. No arguments, no heartache, just someone to love me, and most importantly be by my side. Charlie's starting to be none of that. From day one he's took me to restaurants where you expect to see the likes of Kate moss over your shoulder, brought me random gifts that I'd treasure from my eighteenth to the day I die, and generally treats me like a princess. I might be from Essex but I'm no Amy Childs.
So I ask myself again, why am I with him?
~♥~
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