How do you tell your boyfriend that you're leaving him? Not because you want to, but because you have to. How do you tell your parents that you've lost your scholarship to one of the best schools in the country? Not because you were arrested or weren't smart enough, but because you neglected your work and became careless. How do you even come to terms with it your fucking self? Brendon had no idea.
He walked into that office a confused student. And he walked out of it a distraught guest. He'd fucked up and he fucked up bad. He couldn't even blame Ryan for it. It was all his fault. He didn't have to stay home with him, or leave school to get pampered or shop or eat with him. And he damn sure could have declined a few parties and stayed in to do his assignments. This was all his doing. He should have tried saying no once in a while. But he hasn't. And now he was here.
Ryan took the news about as well as Brendon expected. He flipped the fuck out. Running back into the dean's office and threatening him with everything he could. He insulted him and even threw a few things around. But none of that helped. Because it wasn't the college's decision. It was the scholarship committee who made the choices. And even the privileged Ryan Ross had no say so over them.
When Ryan finally calmed down enough to stop destroying the Dean's office, they left the school. Ryan didn't want to be there anyway and Brendon had no reason to go back to class. They sped all the way to Ryan's place in silence. But Brendon could feel the anger radiating off of the deadly silent man. He just didn't know who he was angry at. As soon as they got in the house, Ryan was on his phone.
"Who are you calling?" Brandon asked worriedly.
"Hello, mother?" Well that answered that question. "Yeah, good to speak to you too. I'm fine."
"Put it on speaker." Brendon whispered. He didn't like hearing just half of the conversation.
"Are you sure you're fine, dear? You sound a little upset. And you don't usually call us." His mother's dull voice filled the room. "Have you overdone another credit card?"
"No, mother. Not yet."
"So you don't need more money?"
"Not exactly."
"Please be direct, George. I can't read your mind and you're starting to worry me."
"It's Ryan, mother."
"I know what I named you. And your first name is George."
"It's Ryan, damn it!" He snapped. "Listen, I didn't call to have this debate with you."
"Then why did you call, George?" She must be where Ryan got his stubbornness from.
"It's about my boyfriend."
"Brendon? How is he?"
"He's not doing too well. His scholarship is being taken from him. He's being kicked out of school."
"Oh my, that's horrible."
"Can't you do something? Call someone like the mayor or something?"
"That won't help bring his scholarship back, George. Once it's gone. It's gone."
"Fine. Then can you guys just pay his tuition for a while? Until he finds a new job or something?"
She laughed condescendingly. "George, we are not paying your boyfriend's tuition. That's a ridiculous amount of money."
"But you can afford it!"
"We have enough money to buy a small state, doesn't mean we're going to."
"Mom!"
"I'm sorry, George, but it's a no." Her voice softened.
"I hate you."
"I know you're upset right now. But it won't last forever. I know you. Boyfriends come and go -especially for you - but that money would be gone forever."
"Fuck you, you don't know me!"
"George-"
"I fucking hate you both. I swear to God."
He threw the phone against the wall. The screen shattered on impact.
**********
"Fuck that college." Ryan randomly muttered the next morning.
They were lying in his bed after waking up. Well, they'd each been awake for a couple of hours now. Both of them just refused to get up or speak. Ryan decided to finally break the silence with those three words. Brendon shifted in the bed so that he was facing him. He flipped on his side. His elbow digging into the pillow and supporting his head. Ryan was lying flat on his back staring up at the ceiling.
"What?" Brendon's brows furrowed.
"I said fuck that college. You don't need to go there. You can just live here with me. I'll buy your clothes and food. And stay home with you four days out of the school week."
"My parents would not appreciate that at all." He laughed even though he wanted to cry.
Telling his parents was the hardest part. His dad was furious. He screamed lectures about responsibility and laziness. He yelled questions about what was distracting him and how this could have happened. Brendon gave cliche answers. Not wanting to tell them he was gay or that he spent all his time his his boyfriend. He didn't want them blaming Ryan for something that was his fault. His mother was even worse. She didn't scream or yell. She didn't even seem angry. She was just sad. She told him she understood he would grow and make mistakes and how she hoped he learned from them. She said she loved him and that that wasn't the only scholarship or school he would ever have. She called him smart and resourceful. And then she told him she wasn't mad at him, she was just a little disappointed in his choices. Which of course made Brendon cry.
"You're a grown man. They don't make your decisions for you anymore."
"But I still want to make them proud, Ry."
"What parent wouldn't be happy with their son marrying someone filthy rich?"
Brendon rolled his eyes at that.
"They wouldn't be happy unless I'm living in a way that didn't waste my smarts and potential."
"What does that mean?"
"I'm not just going to drop out of college."
"You're going to go for a new scholarship and try to register again?" Ryan sat up in the bed excitedly.
"No, Ryan." Brendon sat up slower. "I already have other scholarships that I've neglected. One to a school almost as good as this one. It's just a few states away-"
"A few states?! How the hell am I going to see you daily when you live a few states away?"
"I was thinking, maybe you could switch schools too."
"My parents aren't going to let me switch to some pathetic school when I'm attending the best college in this country."
"You're a grown man. They don't make your decisions for you anymore." He mimicked Ryan's words.
"But they do pay my tuition and bills."
"This isn't going to work, is it?"
"I don't think so." Ryan shook his head sadly. "When do you have to leave?"
"Before the new classes start."
"That's next week! We don't have any time together!"
"We have right now." Brendon leaned over to kiss Ryan. His hands pushed at shoulders. Forcing him to lay back on the bed.
"That's not the same." Ryan whined as Brendon straddled his hips.
"I know."
**********
Long distance relationships didn't work. So Brendon and Ryan decided they weren't even going to try. To be honest, Brendon didn't one hundred percent trust that Ryan could keep it in his pants if they were apart for weeks at a time. So they decided to just part ways. Once Brendon drove off that campus, they would no longer be boyfriends. Just old friends with distant memories.
Brendon put the last of his things in the small box sitting on what used to be his bed. Patrick would probably get a new roommate now. All of his friend were in the room to bid him farewell. Patrick, Joe, Spencer, Pete, Jon, Gee, Andy and even Hayley. And of course Ryan was there. His arms crossed angrily over his chest. Silently moping like a child.
"I can't believe you're really leaving." He heard Patrick mutter. "You just got here."
"I've been here for a whole semester, dude."
"You were supposed to be here for years though."
"Hey, shit happens!" He shrugged easily. Fighting back the tears he knew he would shed as soon as he got in the car.
"I got you something." Gee announced proudly.
"Like gift?"
"No, like a dick." He exhaled loudly. "Of course I got you a gift!"
"You didn't have to do that."
"I know." He smiled. He dug in his bag and pulled out an even smaller bag. He handed it to Brendon. "Here!"
"Thank you." He brought the bright pink bag closer to his face. "What is it?"
"It's a makeup bag." He clapped for himself. "You know, for when you have bags under your eyes or a pimple you need to cover up. Or if you just wanna go full drag."
"How... Thoughtful. Thanks, Gee."
"No problem. Mr. Fluffyass helped me pick it out."
"Please change that cat's name." Joe begged.
"I like it." Andy laughed."
"That says a lot about you." Spencer eyes him warily.
"Fuck you guys! It's a cute name."
"Yeah. Maybe for a bear in the gay porn industry." Pete teased. Hayley laughed.
"Bears do porn?" Jon frowned.
"You're so dumb to be so smart." Gee patted his back.
"I'm going to miss you idiots." Brendon smiled sadly."
"We're going to miss you too." They said in union. Well everyone except Ryan. Who'd refused to speak since he came in.
"Well," Ryan glanced down at the watch on his wrist. "You said you needed to get going around 5:00. It's 4:57."
"If I didn't know any better I would think you're trying to get rid of me." He smiled, his heart dropping at the thought. But he had to keep on a brave face.
"No, just trying to keep you on time."
"I can be a little late." Brendon teased.
"Whatever." Ryan shrugged, looking at the wall past his head.
"Are you okay, Ryan?" Pete asked his best friend.
"I'm fine."
"Oh, scarecrow." Brendon walked over and grabbed Ryan's wrist. Pulling his arms from the stubborn position they'd been set in. He yanked the tall man closer to him. "I think I'm going to miss you most of all."
Everyone in the room laughed. Even Ryan cracked a smile.
"I love you." He whispered but everyone heard it.
"I love you too. I'm going to love you forever." Brendon didn't bother whispering.
"Are you sure?"
"How could I not? You're the Ryan Ross."
Ryan's smile widened as Brendon pulled his face down to his.