Told you I'd be updating this regularly. Back with part 30...can't say that Bronwyn, Doc or Harlan dies but just wait on it, they've got something coming, I promise. On another note, you'll see a new character. Anyway, Dick Wolf owns, enjoy.
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*chapter contains rape*
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"I'm on my way back now" Elliot said to Nick as he drove carefully through New Jersey. The rain of the last two days hadn't let up and was coming down even harder in this part of town and it was all he could do to not crash the car he was driving. "How's she doing?"
"She slept for a while but the doctor's examining her now, the contractions have all but stopped so that's good." He looked down the hall and saw Brian coming towards the nurses station; flowers in hand. "Elliot, I'll see you when you get here." He said and hung up but before he could go to meet Brian halfway down the hall, the doctor appeared from Olivia's room and caught his attention.
"Is she...?"
"She's doing fine; the medicine seems to be doing its job, so that's a good thing." The doctor said.
"What about the contractions? I mean they're comin every 45 minutes or so but they're still comin."
"Down from every 30 minutes; they'll get further apart and they'll stop completely, in the meantime just keep her calm and let the medicine do its job. I'll be back to check on her in an hour."
"Thanks doc." she smiled as she left and Brian reached him. "What are you doing here?" Nick was still angry from Brian leaving to undercover and now here he was just showing up!
"I came to see Liv, she awake?" Nick just looked at him. "Hello? ...to hell with this" Brian said as he went past Nick to go to Olivia. Nick stopped him as his hand touched the door.
"Wait...I'll see if she wants you here!" He said before he went inside the dimly lit room, looking back at Brian as the door closed.
***
"Nick, would you give me a cup of water please?" Olivia called quietly from the bed where she sat up, the many monitors still attached to her and the baby.
"Sure" he said as he poured a cup from the pitcher on the night table and handed it to her. She took a couple sips and handed him the cup that he put back on the night table beside the pitcher.
"Thanks" she said, placing her hands back across her tiny exposed bump to feel her baby.
"Still there?" Nick joked as he sat beside her.
"So far" she joked back, quickly losing the moment and instead shifting to get comfortable.
"So uh... Cassidy's outside"
"Brian?"
"Yeah, he wants to see you and I wanna know that that's okay with you, cuz if not...I don't want him upsetting you." She sat in thought for a brief moment, running her hand over her baby. "Liv?"
"It's okay, you can...it's okay."
"You sure?"
"I am" although she wasn't, but she had to start somewhere.
"Okay; I'll be right outside." He said and got up to leave. "Go on in." He told Brian who in turn gave a snicker as he went in.
"Hey!" He greeted when he was well inside. Olivia looked up at him and momentarily wished that she could run away somewhere, just as long as she wasn't in this place right now. "How're you doin?" he was greeted by the sound of the baby's heartbeat filling the room although he didn't know what he was hearing.
"Better I suppose" She said. He sat the flowers down on the blanket and took a seat beside her bed.
"I got these for you; I figured...I don't know; you'd like some color. Only I got to the apartment and you weren't there..." he didn't miss the monitors that were attached to her, or her bump that she was caressing and suddenly the sound he'd heard became clear and he had to fight to contain himself, getting up and pacing the room.
"I had a little emergency but..."
"You're pregnant!" Olivia suddenly went quiet for a moment and kept her eyes on her belly.
"Yeah..." She said in almost a whisper, feeling some shame at the situation and she ran her hand nervously over her bump. Brian forced himself to sit again at her bedside and took a deep breath, still unable to look at her.
"I didn't know; I didn't... Why didn't you tell me?" He finally looked up at her with tears in his eyes.
"I didn't tell anyone but Fin; I couldn't...I was asha... I couldn't." Her voice was barely heard.
"What are you gonna do?"
"...I didn't know at first but now I do...I'm going to keep her." She said chewing her lip so hard that it started to bleed.
"And what if that's a mistake? Having his baby; Liv you don't wanna bring that kind of..."
"You mean like me?"
"I just meant-"
She turned her head to the side, towards the window so he wouldn't see her tears, but they fell so fast and hard down her face that it was impossible to hide them. "You don't understand" she said quietly; holding her bump with both hands while the tears continued.
"Then Liv..." He said somewhat harsher than he meant to. "make me understand; cuz I'm trying but I can't see for the life of me why you'd wanna..."
"I can't do this right now!" Her breathing had become agitated and the baby's heart rate was slowly increasing.
"I only meant that-"
"Brian please..." When she felt a familiar pain in her abdomen when one had come just 20 minutes before, she pressed the call button just as Nick came in.
"Liv, you okay?" He asked as the nurse came in.
"I'm having a contract-" She cried out.
"Contraction?" Brian started
"Everybody, out!" The nurse ordered.
"Look, that's only 20 minutes since the last one, you gotta do..." Nick said.
"And we will but right now I need you both out!" She said as she paged the doctor. "Olivia honey you'll be alright!"
***
In the hall...
"What the hell did you do!?" Nick screamed at Brian as he grabbed him by the collar and pushed him against the wall.
"I just talked to her you ass!" He said, pushing Nick off of him and straightening his shirt and leather jacket. "Nice going, btw, telling me she's pregnant; what the fuck man?!"
"I called to tell you the day you left town but you couldn't be bothered!" Nick shouted, his finger pointed in Brian's face. He quickly realized how loud he was being and stepped back a couple of feet as he looked around.
"What?"
"I called you, three weeks ago" he said now keeping his voice down. "to tell you that she was in trouble!"
"What do you mean trouble?"
Nick got quiet for a second. "She had a nervous breakdown; that's what I called you for. I found her, in her apartment; she was out of it and when I took her to her room that's when I noticed but you, you sonofabitch, you weren't interested!" Brian suddenly grew quiet, not having realized that Olivia was so bad off and he sat down in his shock.
"You know, whether or not you realize it cuz you're so busy acting like an ass, Liv loves you. She maybe can't show it right now but she does and she deserves better than you givin her hell because she can't; grow up!" The nurse came fro the room and approached them.
"Mr. Amaro, she's asking for you." Nick looked back at Brian before he walked away to Olivia's room. Once he was gone, Brian looked back at the room before he got up and left.
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The next day at the precinct, Amanda walked in and was surprised when she saw someone sitting at one of the previously unoccupied desks and she stopped a minute.
Shit! The new guy...uh Carson, no Carrington; that was the last detective, shit! (Though the most recent detective was named Kelly, but he quit after 3 weeks on the job!)
She was so busy thinking that she didn't notice him come over to her. "Hi... Rollins, right?" and he put out his hand.
"You must be Collins." Amanda said, suddenly remembering his name and shook his hand.
"Darrell Collins; nice to meet you."
"So you're the new detective, huh?" She said, I sure hope you stick around a lot longer than the guy before you"
"Guy before me? Here, let me take that" he offered and took her bag as they walked to her desk. Amanda couldn't help notice detective Collins' clean cut features; short, neat locks, a nicely trimmed soul patch and beautiful chocolate skin- he was suddenly nice to look at!
"Yeah, he sorta quit after 3 weeks... couldn't handle what he saw!"
"That's rough" Collins said as he sat her bag down on her desk.
"That's SVU...hope you got the stomach." She couldn't help looking at him which she scolded herself for but Jesus! A girl was only human; 6'2 with such gorgeous... Everything!
"Nah, worked SVU for three years back in DC, I'm straight."
"DC boy?" She smiled.
"Born and raised, what about you? Is that...Georgia I hear?"
She was impressed.
"Good ear"
"Talent I picked up at Georgetown" He said,sitting comfortably on the edge of her desk and checking her out with as much intensity as she was him, reminding himself that his mother would kill him for looking at white girl but damn, she had a beautiful smile and eyes to match! While they were busy staring at each other, Amaro walked into the bullpen.
"Nick, how's Olivia?" Amanda said.
"She's gonna be fine, thank god. Who's this?" Nick said, referring to Collins.
"Our new detective. Darrell Collins this is Nick Amaro. Nick, Darrell!"
"Nice to meet you!" Nick said as they shook hands.
"Same here."
"Rollins and Collins; sounds like a team." Nick joked.
"I was just givin Darrell some pointers." Rollins said as she blushed horribly and Collins looked away, smiling.
"Uh huh..." Nick uttered while trying to keep in the laugh that wanted to erupt. Rollins had a crush and he thought it was the cutest thing. Rollins and Collins were both relieved when Murphy entered from the office.
"I see you've both met our newest detective."
"We have" Rollins said anxiously then, realizing her overzealousness she piped down as Nick looked over at her grinning.
"Why don't you take Collins with you over to Central Park West, Amaro, I wanna talk to you in my office."
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Out in the Hamptons at the Freed estate, Bronwyn was tending to feeding Harlan his first real breakfast since he went in that coma; watery porridge. It fell from his mouth as she fed him, drool as well but his swallowing instinct was present and so she continued to shovel it in.
"This reminds me of the time that you cut Olivia's leg with that wire cutter; do you remember that? She bled so much and I had to feed her..."
But Harlan didn't care about that. Scars and such were not his pleasure the moment. No; what Harlan was concerned about was how it felt whenever he got inside of Olivia, how she felt like pure heaven each time. That day he'd cut her leg was particularly good.
"I wanna see you play; get yourself off!" He said to her as he grabbed her neck but she just lay there.
"Please...I can't." She begged.
"Aw, see that's too damn bad!"
"Harlan please..." It was the first time she'd used his name and it made him hard just hearing it roll off her lips.
"Get up!" And she tried to but the minute she got to her feet, she quickly doubled over and threw up all over his shoes and collapsed into a heap on the bed. She knew she would get it.
"I'm sorry... I'm not..." she began dry heaving from the stench of the vomit and Harlan was so mad that he grabbed her by the neck, once again as she sat crying and threw her down, right into the vomit.
"You fuckin bitch! You clean it, every damn drop with your mouth!"
"I'm sorr-" but before she could finish or get another word out, he kicked her in the face with his boots and sent her flying on her back and she lay there sobbing.
"Get up!" He screamed but she couldn't. "I said, GET UP!" He emphasized with another much angrier kick, this time to her stomach. He knocked the wind out of her and she lay writhing on the floor in an immense amount of pain, holding her stomach and trying to force air into her lungs while she cried.
"I'll teach ya, damn lazy cunt and he pulled her up, she was still in so much pain but he didn't care. He slammed her on the bed, holding her by the back of the neck and pushing her nightgown up around her waist; he held her head in the mattress as she tried her best to throw him off but he quickly pinned her arms behind her back with his other hand after he loosed himself from his pants and took her amidst her cries for what felt like hours. God she was just amazing!
When he was done he turned her over and did her, then made her take him in her mouth which was like heaven, threatening that if she threw up on his dick she'd pay but she was so sick, she did twice and after he'd forced her to swallow both times, he left to go get something, not even bothering to lock the door and reemerged seconds later holding with it.
"I told you you'd pay!" He said, revealing a smile along with the wire cutters...
"...there you go, all done my sweet Harlan. Who's a big boy eating all of his food?"
This bitch is nuts! He thought.
"You know what I think?" She asked, removing the tray from the bed and untying her robe.
God no!
"The doctor said it would be a good idea to exercise your sucking reflexes..." She dropped trow. "And since pregnancy has me all extra hot for you, I know some ways we can get started!" She said suggestively and spread herself across his lap, facing him.
What the hell is she-
"Open up, my love!" She said before pushing her breast in between his dry, parted lips.
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"...just you wait darlin...when I come, you won't even see it till it's too late!"
She awoke so suddenly that she scared Elliot when she jumped and her breath caught.
"Liv...it's okay, you're safe!" He said as he rose up to comfort her. She looked around the room, shaking. "You're safe, I promise!" He said softly as she threw herself into his arms.
"I saw Harlan...he was there and he said he's coming." She said.
"He's gone; it was just a dream." she nodded through tears as she held on trying to calm down and found his voice to be a big help. "He can't hurt you anymore!"
"A part of me knows that; it's the rest of me that's still there, in that room." She put her hand to her small belly and through her tears she took a deep breath.
"Hey, the doctor said if you get through today without any contractions, you can go home tomorrow. How about we try to make that happen?"
"Okay." She said and took another deep breath that was chased with tears until this look came across her face and she held her stomach as more tears came.
"Liv?"
"I...think the baby just kicked...I don't..."
"Kind of like a...ticklish muscle spasm?"
"There it is again. Exactly like that...oh my god, El, what am I doing? I can't have a baby!" She cried. Most moms would have been over the moon at feeling their baby for the first time but to Olivia it was like a wake-up call. "Brian was right, this is crazy!"
"Liv look at me...I will be by your side whatever you wanna do, but I know that you already know what that is and I'm not saying it to sway your mind in any certain direction but Cassidy is an ass and he shouldn't have said that."
"But what if he is right, Elliot?"
"It has to be your decision...and it was. You love this baby and right now you're scared because this is suddenly becoming real you are not alone. Lean on me as much as you need, I promise I won't let you fall."
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Brian woke up with a hangover and the first thing he did was grab a beer and chase it down with a shot (or two) of Jack.
He'd spent the whole night thinking and when he was tired of thinking, he went out to a bar, found two chicks to get shitface drunk with and then brought them back to his place where he screwed them both until they, all three passed out and now at 10, he was awake and they were still passed out in his bed.
"...things didn't end so well the last time we... but I don't care about any of that, you know? I just want her found and safe. She can push me away, tell me to get lost but I just need to see her again, to know she's alive; I'd give anything!" he said as his eyes filled with tears and he hung his head.
He remembered he'd said those words and then they'd become his reality and suddenly, he couldn't handle it.
"I wanted you!" she sobbed. her arms around his neck where her face was buried.
That day was one of the happiest and saddest of his life. She had been found but she was completely broken...he remembered thinking that he'd give anything just to see her whole again; to see her healed, even if it meant that he couldn't be part of her healing. The hell she'd gone though.
"I wanted you..."
He had a lot to sort through but right now he couldn't. Nick was right, he was acting like a child and maybe he did need to grow up and maybe Olivia did love him but she was having her rapist's child. This man, he raped and tortured her to no end, and she was rewarding his memory by having his child? He didn't know if this was some form of Stockholm syndrome but he couldn't wrap his head around it.
Maybe he'd find some clarity in the arms of, or between the legs of his guests.
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2 ½ months later...
"You look well." Dr. Lindstrom said to Olivia. He wore a gentle smile as she sat down in the chair opposite him in his office and gave a small smile of her own. Being now in the beginning of her seventh month of pregnancy left her moving somewhat slowly and it took her a few seconds to get comfortable in the leather armchair.
"How do you feel?" He asked.
"You ask me that every time I come here." She said quietly.
"And?"
"...and I don't know how I feel. I'm just...I'm concentrating on getting through one day at a time."
"And how is that?" He said and before she could speak "...I know that that's another question I ask often."
"Too often..." Olivia joked "Hard. It's uh...I haven't cracked if that's what you mean." She fidgeted with her hands, unsure of what to do with them and ended up resting them on top of her belly, just as quickly rubbing circles to calm the active child and forgetting where she was. Lindstrom watched her for a moment before he spoke.
"What's on your mind Olivia?"
Without looking at him she spoke as she continued rubbing her belly. "Amongst other things...that soon I'm gonna give birth to my rapist's baby and I don't know what I'm gonna tell her when she asks about her father one day. I'm working so hard to get past what was done to me and it might all be undone one day and I don't think I could handle it" She said with tears in her eyes. "Suddenly I understand what my mom felt like every day of her life and why she drank."
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Shorter, I know but a lot more to come. Review?