"What do you want?" I asked without raising my head, my voice was raspy from the days without water or talking.
"Not much. Just making sure you were still alive, you haven't moved in days apparently." Cyrus shrugged plainly
"I don't have reason to. I may be reckless at times but I know when I'm stuck." I sighed. Why would he care anyway?
"Smart girl."
I just sighed again and waited for him to leave. Which he didn't, how annoying can people be at the worst of times?
"What am I doing here? From what you just said you don't want me dead so why am I here?" I asked still not raising my head or opening my eyes.
Damn it. I hate being weak in front of him. I mean, it's Cyrus of all people.
Cyrus was quiet. "I don't want you getting in my way, therefore easier just to keep you here."
I sighed once more. "I don't think that's the whole story. What's keeping you from just killing me then? It would be along easier on your part." I felt myself twitch slightly. I knew Cyrus didn't have any intention in killing me, he would have already or at least toyed with me at this point but until now I'd just sat here in the cold, talking to Night most the time but I didn't know if he knew I could talk to her in my mind.
Cyrus didn't answer me for a moment. "Are you complaining?"
"Not particularly. Just trying to keep my mind off the fact that, oh you know, I haven't had anything to eat or drink in days and at this point I'm most likely to die of dehydration or starvation in a few days time anyway." I said simply but with a hint of drama. I don't really think that a guilt trip would work on Cyrus but I was bored and starving so don't judge, it was worth a shot anyway... Wow Emma, never been this desperate before.
Cyrus snorted. "Are you hungry?" He taunted.
"Do I even have to answer that?" I replied sarcastically.
No, no I'm not hungry. I'm just like any human and can go weeks without food or water. Of course I'm fucking hungry!!!
Cyrus pulled out a walky-talky thingy and ordered a grunt or something to bring some food. I was only half bothering to pay attention.
I raised my head for the first time and looked at Cyrus in confusion.
He just chuckled at my expression. "It's rude to stare."
"I wasn't staring... I'm just confused. Why would you care what happens to me?" I was actually really surprised by his actions.
Cyrus just shrugged.
What the hell was that meant to mean!? Shrug- I don't care. Shrug- I'm not gonna say. Shrug- I'm gonna let you think I've changed then throw you off a cliff. Shrug- I don't give a damn. I am really over thinking this aren't I?
I just shook my head and leaned it back against the wall, closing my eyes again. "Not that it matters. What happened, happened and I cannot change that nor can anyone." I said more to myself. "What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger."
There was an awkward silent for a moment.
"I didn't mean for that to happen you know." Cyrus said finally breaking the silence.
"Whatever." I sighed. "I don't really give a crap anymore."
"Do you at least want to hear what I have to say?"
"Nope, but you're probably going to tell me anyway so I might as well get it over and done with while I wait for my 'knight-in-shining-armour' to rescue me."
"No one's going to find you here."
"A girl can dream can't she? It worked when I was seven, when child services rescued me from your little hell hole." I said simply.
Cyrus was silent for a few seconds. "I have a question for you if you don't mind?"
"What would that be?" I asked.
"Why do you keep fighting? You're obviously trying to prove something but what and why? Why do you keep fighting after you should have been broken?"
I thought for a moment before I sighed. "I spent two years trying to be good enough. Trying to figure out what it was about me that made you abuse me. No matter how hard I tried, I was never good enough for you. I gave my best at being an 'obedient little girl' for you. But that still wasn't good enough. I came when you called. I let you hit me, hurt me, practically beat me to death. But you still were to blind in your own self pitty to see how much I was trying to be good enough." I balled my hands into fists as tears started to form, but I held them back. "And that habit stuck. Every day I try and be good enough for everyone. I went on my entire journey because I felt like I had something to prove. I kept on becoming stronger with my Pokémon to prove that I wasn't weak. That I could fight back. But I was not only trying to prove to everyone around me, but to myself. Even to today I try to prove to myself that I'm good enough but no matter how hard I try I can't... and that's because of you continuously telling me that I wasn't good enough. That I was a mistake." I took a deep breath in, still forcing myself not to cry, not go be weak like I always have."All I've wanted was to be good enough for the world and now I'm having to be a good enough Voice of Purity when really everyone knows that I am anything but pure. But I deal with it, I can't get rid of it. It's part of me so I don't argue with but deal with and all the fucked up shit that comes with it."
Again it was silent for a moment. "I have a question for you now, did you know? That I was going to be the Voice of Purity?" I looked up, this was a question that I'd been wondering for a while and since this as close to a civil conversation as Cyrus and I would get I may as well ask.
"No, I didn't until you yourself found out."
"Would it of changed anything? Would you still of abused me and treated me like the piece of shit you did?"
Cyrus was silent. "I don't know."
I snorted and closed my eyes. "Well in a way, I'm glad it happened. If it didn't I would of grown the heiress of Team Galactic. I wouldn't have the Pokemon I have, and you probably would of corrupted the final of the three Voices. So even though my life is shit, at least I'm on the right side. No matter what happened in the past my Pokemon are there for me." I flinched slightly at the mention of my Pokémon, I missed them so much. I wanted them with me so I could hug them and for them to tell me it was going to be alright. Night was near, she was even close enough for me to hear her howl when she got annoyed at the grunts.
Cyrus didn't say anything more until a grunt walk over carrying a tray of food. He slid it through a small hole in the bottom of my cage door, to small for even me to wriggle out of without being shocked by the bars. I stared at the food for several silent moments before deciding I couldn't be bothered getting up, so I simply used my Psychic abilities to pick up the tray and place it in front of me. I carefully inspected the entirety of the tray, despite my rumbling stomach.
What appeared to be a bowl of microwave macaroni and cheese with a bottle of water. I took a small, cautious bite of the cheesy noodles using the cheep plastic fork provided. Nothing seemed to be wrong with with it so I slowly ate the entire bowl, very much aware of Cyrus watching my every move. Normally I would wait until he left but I'd been starved for days to the point I felt I was about to pass out. I also took sips of water between bites, forcing myself to eat and drink slowly to show I was in no real rush to get back to my conversation with Cyrus. Unfortunately, my meal was finished much to soon but what I'd been given had been enough to satisfy me for the time being.
I supply used Psychic to put the empty try back where it had been originally before leaning back against to wall, waiting for Cyrus to either say something or leave.
"You're so much like your mother."
"I don't even remember her but either way, she must of hated me to leave me with you." I replied evenly.
"No, she did love you."
"Well then she is just as much of a back stabbing asshole as you are." I snorted.
Cyrus glared at me. "Don't talk about her like that."
"Why would you care? She left both of us."
"That is none of your concern."
"Despite the fact I hate despise you both, I still am technically, biologically your daughter." I shuddered over drastically. "Though I still am completely disgusted by that fact."
"Watch what you say Emma, you're wandering into dangerous territory there."
I rolled my eyes. "I'd like to see you give me five good reasons why I should even tolerate either of you. Neither you or her give a shit about me and you're just feeling pity for yourself because you could of been in control of one of the most powerful beings in existence but you fucked that up to."
Without saying another word, Cyrus left, steam practically fuming from his ears as he did. Smirking to myself in satisfaction, I leant my head back against the wall. I closed my eyes, sighing slightly in a dreamy kind of way before I started singing. I let the lyrics flow though me as ever word came to mind as easily as the day I wrote the song.
"I held your hand
Tied my shoes
Looked up to you
And did what did
I smiled at your funny faces
Giggled at your jokes
I hugged you close to to my heart
And whispered just how much I loved you
I did what I could to make you smile
I did what I could to make you proud
But you blew it, yeah you blew it.
I'm never going to let you bring me down
You're never gonna break me apart
I will be stronger
I will fight harder
And no matter what,
I will make you proud of me
You pushed me on the swing
Making me sore up high
You caught me as I slipped down the slide,
Picked me up when I fell
Took all my pain away
But all that's gone now, and I'm falling which no one to stand at my side.
I cry in the dark where nobody hears
I wish on the stars when nobody sees
You blew your chance to be in my life
If you want me back then you're just hallucinating
I did what I can to make you smile
I did what I can to make you proud
But you turned and stabbed me in the back
And everything just falling apart now
I'm never going to let you bring me down
You're never gonna break me apart
I will be stronger
I will fight harder
And no matter, I will make you proud
When the sun sets at night and the moon raises high
I look up to the sky with the tears in my eyes
I see the time when we were together
I see the time when I called you my father
I'm lost in the dark and I cannot see
I cannot see why you did that to me
I did what I can to make you smile
I did what I can to make you proud
But it wasn't enough for you
It wasn't enough for you to see
Just how much, I want you to be proud of me"
~*~*~*~*~🌸~*~*~*~*~
Word count: 1994
Hi people, I'm alive... I think.
The song used in this chapter was written by me so I own the song. What do you think? I've been working on it for a while and just finished it a while ago.
Well I'm doing this for free so please support me by voting and commenting. What? You thought I get paid for this? Nope, only by your support.
SMG, out