April 29, 2014
My heart is tired of being broken and my breath reeks of smoke.
I lost him.
My heart broke more than I thought it could. I hate writing in this journal but it's the only way I can express my feelings as I don't have anyone I can trust.
He left me.
It was a terrible feeling. He left me for someone else. Even after everything we went through.
"We need to talk," Kian said as we walked into my house. We made our way up to my room. I knew this wasn't going to be good news just by the way he was acting.
"We should break up," he said avoiding eye contact with me. My breath hitched.
"Why?" My voice cracked. I didn't want to lose him.
He took a deep breath. "I found someone else."
I felt tears well up in my eyes as my hands shook.
"Who is it?" I asked quietly.
"It doesn't matter," he answered swiftly.
"It does though. I want to know who you love more than me. Why you're leaving me," I whispered letting my tears fall freely.
"You don't know her."
I laughed coldly. "You promised me. You promised me you wouldn't leave me." He stayed silent, not showing much emotion.
"You know what? Forget it. I don't care anymore," I shook my head, pointing towards the door signaling him to leave, which he did without even saying goodbye.
I was a mess. There were too many feelings. He left me and I couldn't do anything about it.
But that's what happens. Right? Everything ends. No forever. Everybody ends up stabbing you in the back.
Everything and everyone changes. Even I have changed without realizing it.
That's why I'm sitting in my room, my fifteenth cigarette hanging from my mouth, my door locked, music loud, writing in this crappy journal, with worried parents downstairs.
Play the music louder so you don't hear my breaking heart.
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School stresses me out and I apologize it has been a little while. But here is a new update.
If you don't mind you should go check out my Dolan Twin Preferences book :))
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Thanks for reading loves