May 19, 2014
Back to square one. Right back to feeling alone. No memories being created or forgotten. The memories I want to forget, I can't.
I hate him.
I hate me.
If I could, I would say I hate my friends, but I still love them. I still even love him. But I don't love myself. I never have. I just keep coming across things that I don't like about me.
Does everyone go through this pain?
I wish I could go back and change things, but I can't.
People leave. Why? I have no clue. It's just what they do.
I'm spending more time in the library. Books are now one of my getaways.
They don't leave.
My mom caught me smoking for the first time and demanded me to go see a therapist. She's noticed my lack of motivation. I want the help but I also don't.
I prefer writing private. If my mom found this and read it, she would flip. Finding out the reason why I smoke and have been unmotivated because of a boy.
I gave everything to him, for nothing in return.
That's love isn't it? Hurts like hell no matter what.
"Do you still love him?" My therapist asked after actually listening to me. I shook my head no, but I knew I was lying. Pretty sure my therapist did too.
"Are you sure?" She asked again. I nodded as she wrote down more notes on her paper.
I wanted to believe that I didn't love him anymore, but I need more time to heal.
I just hope I'll actually be able to heal this time.
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Another update. :))
There is still at least 10 more chapters :)
Comment and vote if you want to
Thanks for reading loves.
