T R O Y E
It felt weird. Knowing your friend was sleeping on the same bed with you. But odd enough, I still enjoyed it.
It was night, when I allowed myself to think about Tyler. I hadn't heard from him in what felt like forever. I remember, the look on his face when I caught them.
"T-Troye? It's not what it looks like!" He looked terrified.
The guy he was with, looked confused. I assumed he didn't tell him about me. My eyes filled with tears at the memory of it.
"Tilly? What- but I-I..why?" I was a mess, tears streaming down my face. I had caught Tyler, my Tyler, making out with some other guy.
At that point in our relationship, we had been dating for three months. I don't know what made him do it, and I might never. He tried explaining to me, but I wouldn't take it.
"I, Just let me explain! Please, Troye." His voice cracked, but it didn't stop me from saying exactly what came to my mind at that moment.
"Fuck you, Tyler." In that moment, I didn't feel sad, just pure anger, towards him. The guy I once thought I loved. I left his house the way I came in, but slamming the door as hard as I could in the progress.
Even now, I don't regret my choice of words. He did deserve it. I remember, his face. His expression, sad and broken. But he had no right to be sad. He had done it. He had ended us.
I felt Connor shift next to me, forcing me to wipe the tears that fell from my now bloodshot eyes. He didn't wake, just continued snoring.
Every night for the past week and a half, had been sleepless. My mind to occupied with the thought of Tyler.
Why had he done it?
Was I just some toy to him?
Was any of it true? The late night talks. Secrets shared. Tears shed in front of each other.
Did he even love me?
It was a cycle. I would think of these thoughts, cry, think even more, then cry some more. I was lucky Connor hadn't heard me from nights before. But now that he was literally right next to me, it was harder to keep in all my feelings.
I don't know how long I've been awake for. Listening to the soft snores coming from the boy next to me. I was to afraid of sleeping. After that nightmare I had the other night, I didn't trust myself with sleep. I didn't deserve sleep. I felt a new wave of tears pouring from my eyes. I let out a quiet sob, hoping Connor didn't hear me. But at the same time, not caring if he heard, this was the only time I could let it out. I sobbed for some more before I heard Connor shifting next to me.
"Troye? Are you.. crying?" I could only see the outline of his face, but his eye. Those I saw perfectly. When he asked that question, I only seemed to cry more. The green eyed boy next to me sighed, and opened his arms.
"I'm s-sorry f-for keeping y-you up, C-con." I sniffed
"Shh, its okay, Troye. Anything for you." He rubbed my back as I layed my head on his chest. After I had calmed myself, I pulled myself away from him.
"Thanks Con, your a great friend." I went to lay down, my back facing him, when he stopped me.
"No, Troye, sleep with me. I want to make sure you'll be okay the rest of the night." He pulled me back into his arms, I simply nodded my head, placing it in the crook of his neck and draping my arm over his waist. There was a warm feeling in my chest, but I didn't think much of it. Just happy to have someone who cares for me.
And for the first time in days, I fell asleep in peace.
~~~
I woke up to giggles at the front of my bedroom, and strong arms around me. I didn't want to wake up from the first good sleep I had in days, so I snuggled deeper into the crook of Con's neck. I was guessing Connor was also still asleep because I felt his arms tighten protectively around me. I smiled, happy to know he cares of my well being.
"You two are the cutest things I've ever seen." i heard Zoe say, but I also heard a giggle at the same time, which meant someone else was with her. I opened my eyes, not liking how bright it was in here. I looked to the door, and saw Zoe recording with her phone, and- Sage.
"What are you doing?" I asked them, my lips slightly brushing Con's neck.
"Oh, just making memories!" Zoe continued recording, and I heard Sage taking pictures next to her, the two laughing. I gave them a questioning look before closing my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. But that was impossible when two girls were taking pictures/videos of you.
"What-ugh. Zoe?" I heard Connor wake up and ask Zoe what she was doing, only to be given the same response I got.
"I hate you both." He said before slowly getting up from bed. I whimpered, not wanting him to get up, because now I had to get up.
I opened my eyes, only to quicky close them because of the light.
"So..You and Troye aye Con?" I heard Sage say to Connor.
"What? Never! And be quiet,he's sleeping." He went out, probably to use the bathroom, and I was going to get up, but then Sage started to speak again.
"Huh, it's a shame Con's straight. He and Troye would make a lovley couple."It sounded as she was about to leave, but Zoe interrupted.
"Um, Sage? If I tell you something, will you promise to keep it a secret?" I was now interested, but still showed no sighs of moving.
"Well, when we went out the other night," She took a breath before continuing."I think I saw Connor..kiss a man from the bar." She sounded unsure of herself.
"What?" I could imagine the look on Sage's face now. I stayed silent, in case Zoe continued. I know its ease-dropping, but hey, wouldn't you do the same?
"Yeah, I'm almost 100 percent positive. I couldn't see much, but but thats what it looked like. Please don't tell him I know. If he decides to come out, I don't want to embarrass him." I was surprised. Connor might be gay? My memory of that night is a little fuzzy, so I don't remember to much. But I do remember Con speaking with a man. But them kissing? No, he would tell me, right?
"Wow. And you haven't told Troye yet?"
"No. I didn't want to bring it up. It's not my place to tell him." With that, they continued the conversation in the living room.I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling.
Connor might be gay?
Why hasn't he told me?
Why hasn't Zoe told me?
Does he like anyone?
Wait, why would I care about that?
Great, even more things to think about at night.
"Whatcha thinking about, Troye Boy?" Con came in smiling.
"Nothing, just thinking." Of you.
He hummed while picking clothes out of his luggage. I contemplated if I should bring up what Zoe had said. I decide to do it slowly.
"So, the night at the bar was fun, huh?" I tried to casually say.
"Uh, yeah." His back faced me, so I couldn't see his facial expression.
"Who was that guy I saw you talking with?" I saw him freeze.
"Some random guy, he was..nice." Nice?
"Oh, cool." I wanted to ask him wat they taked about, but I felt that would be pushing it.
"Yeah." He mumbled before leaving my room with his clothes in hand to change in the bathroom.
Maybe it was true.
~~~
C O N N O R
Troye was acting..weird. He had asked me about the night at the bar, and about the guy I was with. Maybe he had seen us.
I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror. I had finished changing five minutes ago. I stood , just thinking. What if he had seen, and was waiting for me to tell him myself. I didn't want to come out.
Or he didn't know, and was genuinely interested in how the night at the bar went. Maybe..
My thoughts were cut short when a knock came from the door.
"Hey Zoe." I faked a smile when I opened the door.
"Con? Breakfast is ready!" She was as cheery as ever.
"Why are you so excited?" We started walking back to the living room, when I saw why Zoe had been so happy.
"Alfie!" I called when I saw him, sitting at the table, eating breakfast.
"Connor!" He walked over and gave me a hug. We catched up as we ate the food made by Sage. At some point, Tyde came with Troye trailing not to far behind. We all sat, talking about Alfie's new book deal, which he hasn't even come up with a name for.
"What about.. The Pointless Book!" Zoe had said, after Alfie announced he was clueless when it came to naming.
"I love it." Alfie smiled and squished Zoe in a big hug, causing her to start laughing.
"Alfie-" laugh "stop-" laugh "it!"
And that was how the rest of the morning went.
Because Zoe and I were taking to much space already, Alfie said he had found a hotel near by to stay at, which made Zoe want to stay with him. The went out at around three, leaving Troye and I alone. Sage went out to the mall with friends, while Tyde stayed in his room.
"So, what do you want to do?" There was an awkward silence following Troye's question.
"We can go out." I didn't want to go out.
"I don't know.." I trailed off.
"Con, is there something you need to tell me?" I was surprised by that. Something I needed to tell him? I don't thin- oh. But how does he know that?
"No, why?" I tried to act calm.
"It's just-nevermind." He was going to say something, and I didn't know if I wanted to find out of not.
"What? What is it?" I took the chance.
"You, you remember what happened at the bar?" He either saw me kissing the guy, or crying. Anyway I didn't want to talk about it.
"Yea?"
"Well, I over heard Zoe taking with Sage, saying she had seen.. that she had seen-"
"Troye!? Can you make me some foood?!" Tyde called after Troye from his room. I saw him sigh, before excusing himself to make Tyde a sandwich. I sneeked into the bathroom in the hall.
"Oh shit." I knew exactly what he was going to saw. Zoe must have seen me that night, and Troye must have heard Zoe tell Sage. So now three people know I'm gay, and I haven't come out yet.
Wait, did I admit to being gay?
"I-" I couldn't do it.
"I- I'm" No, Connor. Once it's said, it's true.
"Im g-"I can't do this.
"I'm gay." My voice was a quiet whisper, but enough for myself to hear.
Taking a deep breath, I said it again, a bit more clear." I'm gay."
And again."I'm gay." And then I started crying. Good job, Connor.
After composing myself, and fixing my not to good looking appearance, I walked out to find Troye sitting on the couch, watching a documentary of something.
"Troye?"
"Yes, Con?" He paused the movie, turning his attention to me.
"I need to tell you something."
____________________________________________________________________________________________
HAI!
W O W cliffanger though....
OK HOW WAS YOU DAY? COOL? COOL.
Ew I just finished homework, it was horrible. But I ate Nutella right after #worthit
MORE FREQUENT UPDATES ? Yes? YAY IM FINALLY GETTING SOMEWHERE IN THIS.
Ok, I'll chill now ...sike
SHAMELESS SELF PROMO-
instagram-ilysbb
tumblr-gr00ms-bride-is-a-wh0re
OK DUBAI!
XX
[2051]