When I found her passed out it upset me but now that I know she is ok it pisses me off. We are still in her room. We had sat in silence for a while. I finally say, " Why the fuck did you take enough to pass out?"
" I didn't relies that I had taken so much."
" The first thing to go if we get together are the pills."
" I don't even know if I can stop."
" So what your not even willing to try? Am I really not worth it?"
" I didn't say you aren't worth it. I said that might be to hard and I don't know if I can or not."
" Well anything worth doing in life is hard. If you truly want to be with me then the pills need to stop. Why am I going to wrisk my future if I am going to have to worry about when I'm going to find you passed out because of pills. If you keep doing the pills and we get together then there is a chance that I could lose everything including you. I don't want to fucking lose you."
" I don't want you to lose me also and I don't want to lose you. I will stop doing pills. It may take some time but I will keep trying."
" Like I have said before that is all I can ask of you."
We hug each other and I give her a kiss on the forehead.
****
Class time is starting up. My students pass in their homework. Ugh I just want a teacher planning day so that I can finish the grading I have. It is like as soon as I catch up with grading two days later I am behind. I'm going to have to start taking papers home to grade. I have learned my lesson about not bringing it home. Soon we are going to have to start on this semester final exam. I stand infront of my class and say, " You guys have two more months until this semester is over. I have made a list of things you can do for the final exam for this semester. Please sighn your name next to what you want." After everyone signs their name next to what they want I look at the chart. Nicole has picked the ocean to do her final on. That means she will have to show what lives in the ocean, the food chain, what grows in the ocean, and write a report on the ocean. I tell everyone what they have to do with their final and everyone gets excited. I am glad that they like what they have to do for their finals.
******
I have dinner at my parents house in five minutes. I finish getting ready and walk down to their house. I walk in and abby runs up to me. She gives me a hug and I hug her back. We go into the kitchen. My mom has made my faviort dinner. She has made sweet ribs, crab legs, shrimp mac and chesse (mac and chesse that has little bits of shrimp in it), and biscuits. My mom is the best cook I know. We sit down and pray over our dinner. We start eating. My dad says, " So why isn't Nicole my daughter in law yet?" He says it trying to be funny.
My mom says, " Lewis don't ask it like that hun. However I would like to know why Nicole and you aren't together yet."
" Because she is my student." They are really shocked. Abby acts shocked also but of course she already knew.
My dad says, " Wow that sucks. I'm sorry I know how much you have always liked her. You should still try to be with her." My dad is one of my best friends he has always been on my side no matter what. He has also always had my back no matter what. My mom is a little stricter but she is still awesome.
My mom says, " Lewis don't give her that kind of adive. She could end up losing her teaching license if she starts dating Nicole. Also I thought that Nicole was done with school though."
" She failed a grade."
My mom says, " That does suck but I am proud that you are putting your job before tour feelings."
My dad says, " I think she should put her feelings before her job. She can always get a new job but she probably will never find anyone who she has this much emotions for."
" Well apparently we will never see eye on eye about this. She could always wait until after Nicole gets out of school."
" You are right we will not see eye to eye on this but I do love you still."
" I love you too." We finish dinner and watch a movie as a family.
*****
On Friday night Nicole and I are hanging out at my place. We are sitting in my back yard. A little kitten runs up. It is orang, yellow, and has brown lines along his body. He comes up and starts loving on us. Nicole says, " I wonder who he belongs to."
I check him for any pruff that he has an owner. It doesn't look like he has one and he is really skinny. I say, " I don't think the little guy even has one."
" Omg can you keep him please please please?"
" I guess I could."
She picks up the kitty and loves on it. " You should name him rango."
" Why?"
" Because he looks like he wants to tango. However you should not name him tango because it is to common. Rango rhymes with tango so that should be his name." I laugh at that. She is so cute I swear. My heart fluters just being here with her. I say, " Rango it is. I already have stuff for him so I don't need to go to the store. However I would love to go play pool with you."
" Oh I would love that too." We put Rango inside and leave. We head to the poolhall. No one who is a student or classmate of hers will be there. Wjere we are going they aren't old enough and plus it's a gay bar. We walk in and everyone waives at me. I nod at them and walk up to the bar. The bartender turns to me and gets a smile on her face. She says, " Hey long time no see."
" Yeah whatever. I just saw you last weekend for the football game Jamie."
She rolls her eyes and say, " Yeah but it fells like it was forever ago. You know I miss seeing my bestfriend. Oh and hey Nicole." Jamie has been my bestfriend since I was in 5th grade. She is the first person that I came out to. She was already out and proud about being a lesbian. After I told her we would spend our weekends going out and looking at girls. Nicole says, " Hey Jamie." Then one of the people who I love the most come walking out of the office. James come over to us and looks at me. He says, " Oh Amber why do you insist on detracting my sister while she is on the job?" James is Jamie's very gay drag queen brother. I say, " I wasn't detracting her. I was just trying to get balls from her. He smiles and says, " Oh I thought you didn't like balls. Pluse if you are looking for balls then my sister doesn't have any and you are in the wrong place." He, Jamie, and Nicole laugh. I roll my eyes and say, " Well you know I wasn't talking about those kinds. I want to play some pool. He smiles and says, " I know but as you know I love to mess with you. Here are the balls they are on the house stay as long as you want. Any drinks and food you guys want are on the house also. Hey Nicole."
I say thanks and Nicole nods. Jamie and James have known Nicole almost as long as they have known me. They are kinda like her big sister and brother. They used to always ask me to bring Nicole along whenever we hung out. Jamie says, " What do you guys want to eat and drink?"
I say, " I want a mudslide and 16 bbq wings."
Nicole says, " I want a sprite." She knows better to ask for alchole since Jamie knows she is not old enough and would never serve her. Jamie says, " Amber you know the wings only come in 5, 10, and 15."
" Yeah but since there are two eating it gives us 8 a piece."
" Well since you have Nicole with you then I can bend the rules a little."
Nicole says, " I feel spacial." I role my eyes but want to laugh. It takes all I have not to laugh. Jamie says, " Oh you should feel special." We all laugh. We take the balls and go to a table. I set them up and I go first. I knock a solid in so that means I will be solids. I miss the next. Nicole goes next but acts like she doesn't know how to play. I get up behind her and put my arms around her. I help her make the shot. She makes three with my help but misses the fourth. I start making my shots and I make all but the 8 ball. She goes without my help and does the same. I shot in the 8 ball. When I did that are drinks and food come. We wit and eat. We finish our drinks and start to play again. She wins the next game. James comes out with more drinks for us. He says, " Can I play?"
I say, " The next game because we are tied and I have to beat her."
" Ok I understand." We play our next game and I win. We spend the rest of the night playing pool.