"I'm tired" James complains, dragging his feet behind me as I walk into another store.
I sigh angrily and abruptly stop walking, turning around and glaring evilly at the annoying prick.
"Why did you even come with me anyway?!" I snap, placing my hands on my hips, looking at his pained expression.
"Because Ryder forced me too."
I scream in frustration and storm off into the store. I just wanted one day to myself! Is that to much to ask?! Will the world fall apart if I do?!
You see, the rest of the week went back to normal-well normal as it gets, and soon enough it was Saturday. And being the feminine, classy, women I am, I wanted to go shopping.
But nooooo, of course Mr Black would not approve of his girlfriend to have any fun in anyway possible.
I huff and blow some hair from my face. Asshole.
Anyway, being me I obviously argued and managed to convince him to let me go, but under one condition.
I had to bring James fucking Lake.
James! James! The most horny, annoying guy on this planet! Can you read my frustration?
And since we've arrived at the mall he's been driving me crazy! Well more than usual.
I hear his fast pace of footsteps behind me and soon he had caught up and was standing right next to me.
"Why do you need to go shopping anyway" he starts, an annoyed expression on his face. "I've seen your closet. It's like Narnia in there."
I try my best to ignore him and i search through the racks, eyeing everything in the store.
"You can never have too many clothes" I retort, grabbing a shirt and looking at it.
Men.
I purse my lips and tilt my head to the side. Why couldn't Ryder come with me instead? He's been so busy lately with the gang and finding Lucinda, we haven't really spent any quality time together since my the night we went out and ate.
Okay fine. I might miss him a little bit.
I pout and get pulled out of my thoughts when I see James flirting with the overly fake tanned cashier.
God she was orange! And I mean like a Doritos orange. All you need is some salsa and you've got your typical Friday night with Katrina.
Mhm Doritos. Man I was hungry.
I scrunch my face in disgust as James leans in closer to the girls face and whispers something into her ear.
The cashier giggles ferociously and her cheeks turn crimson red.
I blankly look at them and tilt my head up, towards the ceiling.
God help me.
"I'm not beautiful, look at me" the cashier giggles, hiding behind her bleached blond hair and her cheap hair extensions.
Gross.
I listen in some more, curious of how the Casanova would play this one off. Is he going to go for the cheesy pick up line? Or go straight to the pants?
"Sweetheart I would, but people say if you stare at something that bright, you might lose your sight" he says, smoothly, placing a finger on her cheek.
Cheesy pick up line it is.
I scoff and shake my head disapprovingly. Does he have no standards? I think he just really needs to get laid.
I hear the flirty laughter and whispers of the two and almost puke when they start talking dirty.
I quickly run out of the store and try to erase the memory out of my brain.
Why did I have to witness that? I rub my head vigorously and cuss under my breath.
After my little melt down I fix my bags and hair and start walking towards the food court, but before I could walk even two steps I'm lightly shoved from the side.
"Hey I'm walking here-
My words are stuck in my throat when I realise who had just bumped me and how we've met exactly in this position before.
"Maria?" I ask, looking over at the beautiful women in front of me.
Her hair which strongly resembled something very familiar but I couldn't figure out where I had seen that exact colour before, was curled to perfection and her makeup was flawless. Basically she was stunning. She lifts her head up and gives me a million dollar smile.
"Katrina?" She wraps her arms around me and gives me a tight squeeze.
I just stand there, not knowing what to do or act but luckily she soon lets go and takes a step back.
"I haven't seen you in so long. How you been?" She asks excitedly, her brown eyes twinkling.
"Uh-" I clear my throat, "good."
I've literally met this women once and now she's acting like were bestfriend's. Chelsea better not here about this or i'll get accused of being a friend whore. Again.
"Isn't funny how we keep bumping into each other like this? It's almost like its fate" she giggles.
I awkwardly chuckle and fiddle with my watch on my wrist. She did seem warm and kind but there was something off about her.
How she was always happy and just over the top with things. Like an act, a cover up for something. Maybe I'm just over reacting but I can't help but get that vibe from her.
"Katrina!"
I turn around and see James frantically looking around. When his hazel eyes meet mine he automatically runs towards me with a worried expression.
"Where have you been?! I was scared shitless that something happened to you!" He yells, scolding me.
"Calm down, I was just talking with-" I look behind me but see an empty space.
I furrow my eyebrows and gape "what?! She was just there.." I trail off.
"Who?" James asks, looking behind me, his face still tense.
I scratch the back of my head and look around.
Where did she go? She was just there? I don't understand. How can a women disappear that quickly?
"We don't have time for this" He says grabbing my bags and dragging me out of the mall. "Ryder just called. I think we found out if Lucinda is really alive."
My breath hitches in my throat and I pick up the pace.
"How did he sound? Did he sound mad?" I ask hesitantly.
He briefly glances at me and that was enough to know that whatever was waiting for us back at the mansion wasn't good.
*****
I walk into the mansion but to be welcomed by a vase almost knocking me out. I quickly dodge it and watch it smash into the wall.
R.I.P vase.
"Is that how we greet each other now?" I ask sarcastically.
I look to see a seething Ryder and three boys trying to calm him down. I see broken plates, furniture on the floor and cracks in the wall.
Okay I think now is not the time for snarky remarks.
Guess she's really alive then.
Ryder paces around, cussing ferociously and throwing things around, causing them to shatter.
"Find her! Find her now!" His voice booms, making me to flinch.
Even though I had seen a piece of this side of him before, there was a more dominate, scary side to him. And i wasn't sure of how much control that side of him had.
I swallow nervously and watch the boys scatter out of the living room, leaving me and Ryder alone.
I walk closer to him and see his body shake in rage. His veins sticking out of his muscular arms and his neck.
He was really angry.
I hesitatingly place a hand on his back, causing him to jolt in surprise but slowly relax in my touch.
"Breathe" I softly instruct.
He obeys my command as I feel him take in deep breaths.
I slowly walk around him so I was now facing him. He had his eyes closed and he was taking deep breaths, his long eyelashes were softly brushing his cheeks and his plump red lips were in a thin line.
So handsome.
I put my hands on his cheeks and he sinks into them and sighs. His gruff hands meet mine and with his eyes still closed he places a kiss on palm, his teeth grazing it.
My breathing becomes heavy as the urge to jump him becomes stronger. He flutters his eyes open, lust and fire filled with in them.
I step closer and closer until our body's were touching. Ryder trails his lips along my arm, making me shiver in delight.
"Katrina" he murmurs, against my skin.
He places a hand on my waist and pulls me into him, burying his head into my neck. His hot breath making me nervous and very turned on.
"Kiss me."
And so he does.
He smashes his lips onto mine and holds me tight. His sorrow and agony were all into the kiss, his feelings deep down were unleashing.
He was vulnerable.
I twirl his hair with my fingers as he lifts me up and carries me upstairs, our lips never leaving each other's.
Was i ready to go this far with Ryder? Was I ready to go all the way?
My thoughts get cut off when I'm pushed on the bed. I squeak in surprise and pull away, for air. He doesn't stop there though.
He pulls way to take his shirt off, revealing a very delicious sight.
"Enjoying the view?" he smirks.
I feel heat rise in my cheeks and I cough, looking away.
"Shut up."
He chuckles and starts to straddle me, causing me to gulp.
Can i really do this?
He leans in a softly brushes his lips against mine.
Yep I can do it.
I yank him closer so I can attack his lips and pull him under me. I sit on his torso and don't leave my lips from his.
The hot, fiery sexual tension was so strong that I didn't realise I had taken my top off, leaving me in my red, lacy bra.
Thank god I didn't wear my grannie bra . Don't ask.
Ryders scorching gaze doesn't leave me and eyes me lustfully.
"Beautiful" he murmurs, running his fingers down my toned, flat stomach.
"God I l-"
"Ryder!"
I scream, scrambling off of Ryder, quickly covering myself when Nathan flings the door open revealing what dirty deeds we were doing.
"Nathan!" Ryder growls, looking pissed.
His face turns into a dread, horrified expression, looking away quickly.
"Uh-uh sorry. I- uh-" he stutters, "I'll be in the living room" he quickly spits out, running away.
Ryder angrily sighs, flopping back on his back, in closing us in silence.
"I think we scared him" I stifle a laugh and see Ryders lip twitch into a smile, and soon we burst out laughing.
Tears leak from my eyes and Ryders, beautiful, infectious laugh echoes through the bedroom.
After we recompose our selves, I crawl next to Ryder and snuggle into his bare chest.
"We really have to start locking the door".
I chuckle at Ryder's words and yawn tiredly.
"I think we should go down stairs" I mumble, reluctantly getting up and putting my top back on.
Ryder sighs heavily, "but we were having so much fun."
I smile lazily, "come on, up."
"I've really got to book a hotel room or something" he mutters to himself.
I look at him with wide eyes and try not to faint on the very spot. Holy shit. He's that eager? I turn around and try to calm my beating heart.
I mean we have been dating for like five months now and we were practically living together. Its pretty common for couples to do the deed, and it's not like i haven't done it before.
It's just, i've never done it with someone i've loved before. Hell i've never been in actual love before. I'm clearly overthinking this, we have bigger things on our plate right now.
I look back at Ryder and see him rub his eyes groggily. I didn't realise how tired he looked.
I bend down to pick his shirt up and walk towards him. He reaches out towards the shirt but I snatch it away from him.
"I want to do it."
He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "loser."
I smack him playfully and glare at the jerk.
"Close your eyes" I snap.
He sighs but closes his eyes nevertheless.
"Good boy" I tease.
"What am I? Seven?" He grumbles.
I start putting the shirt on him and mumble "you sure act like one."
"What was that?"
"Nothing" I innocently answer, plopping his head out of the top, causing his hair to flop in front of his eyes.
I giggle and pull his hair back, he slowly opens his eyes and stares intensely at me.
Sorrow and sadness swirls in his eyes and I could see how much this women had affected him over the years.
"We'll find her" I say determined.
"Let's go" his soft, deep voice says.
I don't say anything and let him lead me into the living room. I look behind him and see his back muscles ripple as he rolls his shoulders.
So strong.
We walk down stairs and see the boys looking over a file.
"Why hello love birds" James smirks,
I roll my eyes and flip him off. The boys all laugh and go back to the file.
"What do we have?" Ryder asks, walking towards the boys.
"She's definitely in this state. There's pictures of her at the mall, so she's close, but we don't have an exact location" Dani answers.
I peek over Ryders shoulder and look at the photograph. Which causes my blood to turn cold and to drain my face from colour.
It can't be! There's just no way!
I push Dani and Ryder out of the way and grab the photo, lifting it up.
"Impossible" I whisper, my eyes wide. "It can't be!"
"What? What is it!?" Daniel ask, looking at me curiously.
"I know her" I shout, looking at Ryder.
Ryders looks at me in anger and shock.
"What! How?"
"At the mall! I met her a few weeks ago and I talked with her today! But her name wasn't Lucinda, it was-"
"Maria" Ryder finishes, slamming his palms on the table.
I throw the photo back on the table and turn my body towards his.
"How did you know that?"
"That was her fake name she gave to her clients" he grits, shaking in fury.
I can't believe she was that close! She was right in my grasp and I didn't even know. I rub my forehead and blink rapidly.
She could've finished me off! She didn't even seem like that kind of women!
I scream in frustration and flip the table over.
"She was right in my grasp! I could of done something!" I yell angrily.
From the corner of my eye I could see Danny look up and a tear slide down his cheek, whispering, "every god damn time."
We really do destroy everything in this house.
"No. You will not get involved. This is between my mother and I, not you" Ryder says, seriously.
I stare at him intensely "You still call her mother?"
He doesn't bother answering me and looks to the floor and turns away silently.
I purse my lips and sigh. Even though this women has hurt him so much, he still thinks of her as his mother.
All he wanted was a loving mother who cared and looked after him, and all he got was a crazy psychopath.
He grew up with guns, violence, blood and coldness. I'm surprised he didn't kill me the second I talked back to him. He didn't even have a father to wipe his tears when he remembered those awful days.
I peek under my lashes and see him help the boys pick up the table and put it back to normal.
Oops. My bad.
I sigh dramatically and lean against the couch when all of a sudden my breathing becomes harsh.
What's happening? Shit. Am I having a panic attack? I wasn't even panicking?! I can't breath!
Ok maybe I was a little, but not enough to cause a panic attack!
I roll my body over and land on the couch, trying to not let the boys notice. Tears started to swell and I could feel my face turn red.
I can't breath! It's like my heart was being squeezed and squeezed. The pain in my chest was getting worse and it felt like my lungs were on fire.
I gasp for air, and claw my neck trying to get myself to breath.
"Katrina?"
I squeeze my eyes shut and roll over so my face was now facing the cushions. I can't let them know.
Breathe Kat! Breathe!
"Katrina?!"
The voice sounds more urgent now and more worried.
Fuck!
I can't keep this up much longer. Black dots were invading my vision and the pain was getting unbearable.
"Katrina?! What's wrong?! Talk to me!"
I feel hands try to pull me away from the couch and turn me over.
No! I can't let them!
I use all my might to not move but the pain had attacked my whole body and it felt like I was getting ran over by a truck.
I can't do it anymore.
I let them roll me over and i gasp once more, desperately trying to breath.
"She's having a panic attack! Daniel do something!" Ryder barks.
Daniel quickly rushes to my side and sits me up.
Tears start running down my cheeks and I see the boys scared and worried expression.
"Her face is turning purple! Quick we have to do something" Nathan yells frantically.
I scream in pain and try to breath in and out. What if this is how I die? I still have so much things I want to accomplish. Like graduating, getting a job etc. I haven't seen my parents in months and I miss them like crazy. What if I never see them again?
More and more tears began falling and I could feel myself start to loose conscious.
"Katrina! Your over thinking! Calm your mind and just focus on breathing" Daniel orders, "you've got this Kat. It's just like walking, one step at a time."
I grab his hands and squeeze them tight, making Daniel wince in pain but he never moves away from me.
"Come on Kat! Breathe!"
I close my eyes and try to clear my mind.
Clear it. Clear it. Clear it. Clea....
I take in a deep breath and my breathing starts to become normal again.
In and out. In and out. In and out.
Soon my breathing became regular again and I see the boys all let there breaths go and fall on there backs.
"We made it" James says, covering his eyes.
"You didn't even do anything" Nathan remarks, hitting him on the head.
The pain slowly subsides when I feel a heated gaze.
I slowly lift my head up to be nose to nose with Ryder Black.
I yelp in fright and move back.
When did he get so close?
Ryder tilts his head to the side and looks at me with an unreadable expression.
Now I'm uncomfortable.
Ryder slowly gets up, causing me to gulp and gaze upon his muscular, tall frame.
I sheepishly smile and give a little wave when he suddenly throws me over his shoulder and walks to the back yard, the boys right behind him.
"Ryder! What are you doing?! Put me down" I yell at the top of my lungs.
He doesn't respond and goes outside, towards the pool.
"James! Danny! Daniel! Nathan! Help me!" I screech, hitting Ryders back.
The prick doesn't even flinch and all of a sudden I'm surrounded by icy cold water.
I swim to the surface and gasp for air, shivering under the water.
"What was that that for?" I yell ferociously.
"That's for making me worried and being too stubborn to not realise there is something wrong with you" Ryder yells crossing his arms over his chest.
I pull my wet hair back and look at him like he was insane.
"Are you crazy?!"
He just glares at me and storms inside.
What the fuck?!!
I gape at him, coughing up water and swim to the side in the freezing cold water.
I'm going to kill him! I am actually going to kill him.
Anger scorches through my body and I angrily follow the maniac.
"Ryder!" I screech looking around the living room.
"Shut up women! Your giving me a headache" I hear him yell from upstairs.
Mother fucker!
I sprint upstairs, purposely making noise and fling the bedroom door open to see a very butt naked Ryder.
"Fuck!" I spin around and cover my eyes with my palm. My face flushed and hot.
Even though I only saw his tan, muscular- no stop! Bad Katrina!
"Ever heard of knocking?" His calm collected voice asks.
"Why are you naked?!"
"Can't I be naked in my own room? Plus that's what you need to do to, to have a shower."
Calm down Kat. You only saw his butt, nothing else.
If only he wasn't facing backwards I-
No! No! No! No! No! No!
Uhhhh I'm such a horny bastard!
I hope from one foot to another and huff out loud.
He's too distracting right now. Maybe I should come back later.
"Can I help you?" He asks rudely shuffling behind me.
My clothes stuck to me like a second skin and my wet hair was stuck on my face.
"If your not going to say anything can you leave. You're getting my floor all wet."
This asshole!
"And who's fault is that?! Why did you throw me in the pool?!" I yell angrily, still not facing him.
"I need to shower. We'll talk later."
"No we'll talk now! Why did you throw me in the pool?!" I turn around but don't leave my eyes from his.
Don't look down! Don't look down!
"Get out Kat" he sighs wrapping a towel around his waist.
Thank god! But still his chest was very mouth watering.
"Why. Did. You. Throw. Me. In. To. The. Pool." I grit out, glaring at the chiseled, handsome sculpture.
Curse his good looks!
He narrows his eyes and takes a threatening step forward. I hold my ground but gulp, hoping this doesn't turn ugly.
"You wanna know why, Moores?" he asks, lowering his head "because I was angry."
I scrunch my eyebrows in confusion and lean my head back,
"I was angry because I couldn't do a thing to help you. I was angry because I just watched you nearly pass out and I couldn't do a single damn thing!" He says, raising his voice.
He places his hands on my arm and leans in closer so our noses were touching.
"I threw you in the pool so I could see the Katrina I fell for. The girl that doesn't take shit from anyone. I threw you in the pool so I could forget that tear stained face just a few minutes ago!" He says.
He brushed my lips softly, making me beg for more but he thens leans back.
"Go shower Kat. You're freezing." He says, with no emotion as he walks into the bathroom, leaving me speechless.
What just happened?
I rub my face and sprint towards another bathroom, hoping my face would turn back to its normal colour.
I lock the bathroom door and strip, taking the wet clothes off of me. I shiver and quickly plop myself into the shower.
The warm water hitting me softly, making me sigh in happiness.
That was close. I thought I was going to have a heart attack with him that close. I shake my head and try to forget what just happened.
Why did I have panic attack all of a sudden? This is not what the boys need right now, and the worst thing is I can't even control it!
I slam my fist on the wall and lean my head against it.
I'm losing my fucking mind!
What am I going to do?