-Silva's Point Of View-
My eyes open as i'm looking to the ceiling. Where am I? I'm supposed to be dead.
I suddenly notice someone holding my hand, I hear profound sobs and cries around me.
"Silva, you're awake." I hear a voice say, I can't make out who's voice though. I turn my head to see the one holding my hand is Tyler, I look around the room seeing my family and Tyler's family. Everyone looks terribly anguished. What's going on? I thought I was dead.
"We were so worried, we thought you weren't going to make it." My mum cries.
But I didn't make it, I was dead, I died, whats going on. I look down at my wrist seeing it's all bandaged up. Where's all the blood that was on the sheets? I was bleeding, I was dead and I saw Tyler, he was heartbroken, I saw him when he found out what had happened, then when he came here, I was laying dead on the bed with blood all over the sheets, I could hear his thoughts, but I was dead.
Wait. I think...Maybe I was dreaming...but i'm still so confused.
"What happened?" I whisper.
"You don't remember?" My mum silently asks.
"I...um remember what I did...but why aren't I dead?" I nervously say.
"You were found unconscious under the bridge by some people, they called an ambulance, we had been out looking for you since you had been gone for so long, then we got the phone call that you had been sent to hospital because you-" She says but is unable to finish the last part.
"You were bleeding a lot, but the doctors were able to stop it before you died, they stitched up the wound, if you had been found any later then we would have lost you." Tyler's dad, David, finishes. Everyone in this room seems hurt from what I did. But why? No one really likes me.
I look up at Tyler who seems relentlessly dreary and depressed.
What have I done, I made such a big mistake, I am such a terrible person. I never knew this could hurt people so badly.
"Could I please have a minute alone with Silva?" Tyler listlessly asks.
Everyone walks out of the room as Tyler grips my hand tightly.
"Please never do this again, you have hurt all of us so much." Tyler half yells from the stress. He looks so tired, he has black lines under his eyes, he must have been pretty stressed about it all.
"We were all so worried, we could have lost you," He whispers the last bit, "You have no idea how much pain you put us all through. Now I don't know what made you do this but you have to tell us."
I look at him, a tear runs down my left cheek. I can't tell him, I can't tell anyone. No one would understand.
"The thing is I feel that maybe all of this was my fault, if it is then just say so, it doesn't matter if you hurt me, what matters is that you're safe and if I am doing this to you then it's better that I am out of your life." He cries.
"No, no, it's not your fault, nothing would be better with you out of my life, it would be so much worse." I quickly rush out.
"Please Silva. Tell me the truth, how do you really feel about me?" He is getting really upset now, his face is soaked in tears. Why won't he listen, it's not his fault.
"It's not you, you mean the world to me, you are one of the best friends who I have ever had, in fact, probably the best because you have never left my side." I reply lowering my voice at the end remembering Esther.
He looks at me confused.
"It's just, I used to have this friend, Esther, she killed herself over a year ago. Thats what made me stop talking to people, I couldn't bear having another friend who would leave me, before Esther every friend I had would eventually leave me after not long, she never left me, well, until she killed herself."
Tyler looks at me in shock, "Thats why you didn't want to talk to me about why you act that way towards people back when we met isn't it?"
I nod, "But I am happy I talked to you, Esther left me because she didn't care enough about me, I never expected someone to care so much about me like you do, I never knew you did, thats why I didn't think I would hurt people by doing this." I reply.
"Well, maybe Esther left because she couldn't see how much you really cared for her," Tyler whispers, "Love is blind, it's only in situations like this where some people really see who cares, in fact, some people still can't even seen then."
I look up at him and smile, "Maybe you're right."
"Can you tell me why you did it though?" He asks.
"I can't tell you why, it's too complicated for me to even completely understand, but i'll tell you this, I believe that people who are different like me are God's mistakes, thats if there is a God, it's like when you are drawing something and then you make a mistake, you need to erase it. So his way of erasing us, as in his mistakes, is by torturing us enough so that we end up...killing ourselves." I reply getting really anxious about how he will react from my theory.
I look into his dark brown eyes, they're glowing from all of the tears, he's one of those people who's eyes change depending on their mood, when they cry, their eyes sort of glow.
"So you've felt tortured?" He asks a bit hurt, I think he feels even more blame now.
"Yeah, but it wasn't you, you had nothing to do with it." I whisper.
"I don't agree with your theory." He replies.
"Why?...Have you ever felt the way I do? You wouldn't even understand if-" He cuts me off.
"At my old school I got bullied pretty bad, they beat me up a lot, the kids there were pretty mean, I hated myself and everyone else so I started isolating myself from people so I wouldn't get hurt any longer, my parents and the school noticed, so they tried so hard to help me, when I moved to Bellport High and I met you, I started to want to talk to people again, and also, at Bellport High, the bullies aren't as bad as at my old school, well the type who would pick on me anyway weren't. It was when I moved there that I realized how cowardly isolating myself from people had been, I wasn't being strong, I was just hiding."
I look at him shocked with wide eyes, I never knew any of this nor expected it.
"But when you came they were all saying that mean stuff about you, and plus, how did they know you?" I ask in curiosity.
"That was just words, they may be really hurtful, but really, unless they're people who I want to like me who are saying it then I don't see any point in being offended, and they knew me because they knew kids at my old school, and also the kids at my old school posted pictures and videos of me online all the time to bully me, everyone pretty much knows me." He says and I nod.
"You see Silva, i've never understood why the 'uncool' kids want to be like the 'cool' kids, why would they want to be such evil, cold hearted people who they hate anyway, and why do they let them tell them who they are, people just need to decide who they are themselves, it doesn't matter what label you are given, like if you're uncool or cool or if people like you or not, what matters is that you are a kind hearted person and you believe in yourself and don't let others get to you. You can't let people tell you who you are." He says, he is so wise.
"So why do you think we are tortured so much then if you don't agree with my theory?" I ask him.
"Well, I can't say I believe in any God or anything, but I believe the ones who get tortured the most are the ones who are the strongest. They are the ones who can cope, they may not know it, and thats why they may make silly mistakes like hurting themselves." He replies.
I nod in agreement.
"If a 'cool' kid who has everything they could ever want and more and has the best life one day receives an insult, even if it is small like 'your hair looks weird today', what do they do? They get really upset, they won't ever have their hair like that again, they are weak and they let others tell them who they are and what they can do. People are not tortured, no matter how bad it may seem, they're just challenged, going through this really helps to often make you a better person, no matter how much people doubt it. I understand some people become terrible people but it's because they don't look at all of this in the right perspective."
"You're really wise you know," I say admiring it, "I wish I could be as positive as you."
"Thanks, and you can if you want, just practice your mind to think positive, whenever you're in doubt try to think positive, but Silva, I know you can get through all of this, just don't look down, keep being strong and you'll get through it all." He smiles.
I smile back, it may be a weak one, but I still smile. He helped me a lot with what he just said and by caring about me, it may not have helped me completely but it still did help.
"I never want to lose you Tyler, you're such an incredible friend." I whisper.
"I never want to lose you either." He replies.
A/N I'm happy you kept reading because it turns out she's not dead, so thank you.
Also, I am not sure if this is the end of the book or not, I have more planned but it depends what you want, so if you want me to continue please comment and tell me.
The House You Built - Hands Like Houses