My heart rate slows down and I actually feel like time has stopped. I feel George's surprise as his body becomes rigid. What have I done? I knew this was a bad idea. He's going to hate me. Maybe I could just play it off as a prank or a dare or something. Pulling away I look down, unable to meet his eyes. This is so awkward. George still hasn't said anything, and I can't bring myself to say anything either. Instead I turn to walk away, but a hand grabs mine and stops me.
George pulls me and wraps his arms around my waist. I look up at him confused, but his eyes have an unfamiliar look in them. A fire I've never seen before. They stare into mine causing me to go weak at the knees. Then he smiles and I can't help but smile too. He leans in and kisses me, pulling me closer as if he's scared to lose me or something. Huh. That's weird, he is scared about losing me.
After what feels like forever he pulls away and presses his forehead against mine.
"Best Christmas present ever," he whispers as I redden. Wrapping my arms around his neck I smile. This is perfect. Ginny was right. I should listen to that girl more, she knows what she's talking about.
The moment is perfect, but like most moments with George it's soon interrupted by Fred who bursts in the room and whoops at the sight of us. I move away from George, but he still keeps an arm on my waist, as if he's protecting me.
"Finally!" Fred grins clapping George on the shoulder as Ginny, Harry and Ron walk in. Ginny winks at me and I hide my face in George's shoulder.
"Oh leave us alone," George mutters but Fred roars in laughter.
"What's your excuse now brother? Oh she's not ready yet. I don't want to scare her. She'll never speak to me again. What if she doesn't like me?" Fred says in a slightly girly voice and George reddens but doesn't say anything.
"Told you he likes you," Ginny says and I press my face harder onto George's arm. His grip tightens and I can't help but smile. The others continue teasing George but all I can think about is the fact that George has wanted to do this for a long time and didn't because he was worried about how I would react. He actually likes me. Despite everything, he likes me. He knows the rumours about my father, he knows that Severus is the closest thing I have to family, he knows that I've got issues beyond comprehension but he still likes me.
"Alright, shut up now," George mutters and everyone smiles at him but doesn't say another word. My smile widens as a warm feeling spreads throughout my body. It's a feeling of acceptance; of family.
"We should go for breakfast now," Harry says and soon everyone piles out of the room leaving George and I alone again. He pulls me into a hug and I wrap my arms around him.
My best friend.
My saviour.
"We'll talk later." He promises kissing me lightly on my cheek and I nod unable to speak just yet. My heart hammers in my chest as we walk out hand in hand. Out of the corner of my eye I see Sirius wink at me and I have to stop myself from rolling my eyes. Mrs. Weasley frowns at us but doesn't say a word. I doubt this is the end of her disapproval, but I push those thoughts aside as I sit next to Ginny and George takes a seat next to me.
Throughout breakfast, I keep getting teasing glances from everyone around me, but namely Fred. Trying to keep a straight face, I spend most of the time listening into conversations between Harry and Sirius. They're dynamic makes me miss my guardian. I can't help but smile as I picture his reaction to the developments over these holidays.
After breakfast, we all decided to play a game of exploding snap, but I can't help but rest my head on George's shoulder and let my eyes droop.
"Aw, look at the two lovebirds," Fred says smirking at me and I don't even have the energy to retort back at him but mumble something along the lines of: "I'll squish your eyeballs out if you don't shut up".
"Hey, she didn't deny it this time!" Ginny says with a laugh and I scowl at them all. We haven't even had a conversation about what we are and they're already teasing us like we're an old married couple.
"I'm going for a nap," I announce when none of them stop laughing. I see George flip Fred off from the corner of my eyes and smile. I push my door open and heave into bed, pulling the covers over my head.
SNAP.
I scream but then a hand goes over my mouth. I consider kicking the person in the face but then stop when I realise who it is.
"George?!" I whisper furiously as he removes his hand.
"That was harder than I thought, I was supposed to land on Ginny's bed." He says with a frown and I punch him on the shoulder. "But I guess my mind was distracted," he muses to himself unfazed by my attack.
"You gave me a heart attack you ass!" I growl as he smirks.
"Looks like you're wide awake now, so we might as well talk." He continues and I scowl at him.
"Sod off," I growl but he leans against the headboard next to me and sighs.
"Lily Argent. Who would have known you would have the hots for me?" He says airily. I punch his shoulder lightly.
"You're the one whose been pining after me for so long," I smirk but George grins at me, unfazed by my comment.
"What can I say? I'm attracted to feisty brunettes who give death glares that could kill" he shrugs and I smile a little.
"So there are others you've met?" I tease him and have to stop myself from laughing when his face falls. "I'm joking you idiot," I say as he struggles to come up with a response. He raises his eyebrows at me and then does a dramatic sigh.
"Always breaking my heart Lils," he says sitting opposite me and taking my hands in his. He doesn't just hold them, his fingers play with my own and I feel like there's nowhere else in the world that I'd rather be.
"Always the drama queen," I mutter causing him to smile again. I watch as our fingers dance with each other and think about how in the world I ended up in this position.
"Can I ask you a question?" George asks suddenly and my heart rate quickens but I smile and nod at him. "How long have you liked me?" he continues and I redden unable to say a word. He smirks at my reaction taking it as an answer. "You see Fred told me he reckons it was since the Quidditch trials but I dunno, I never really thought you could like someone like me," he says, the ending trailing into a low voice that's barely audible. I pause. George thought that I wouldn't like him? What kind of weird parallel dimension have I been transported to?
"For once Fred has more brains than you," I say after a while and George's eyebrows flick upwards. "It's funny you should say that. I never thought you would like me, I mean more than friends," I say in a soft voice. The conversation is deep and one I've been yearning to have for a long time. It feels amazing to finally get it all off my chest, to know that George shares the same insecurities as I, to see that there's no one that he would trust more than me, nor I him.
"You obviously don't see the person I do," George says with a frown. But then his face clears and he smiles, "but that's all okay since you have me to remind you how amazing you are." With his words, he causes this warm feeling to spread through my body and I forget the fact that I'm Lily Fowler cursed child and murderer. I forget all my worries and fears. I forget everything.
His eyebrows frame his face as small creases appear near his eyes when he smiles. I notice the freckles on his nose, some darker than others. I notice the odd shape his ears take as they are hidden by his longer hair. I notice the way he looks at me, his stare so intense I feel like he's looking right into my soul.
Suddenly I'm extremely aware of his hands with have left my own and are placed on my knees. They cause my skin to burn underneath them but it's like I want this fire to spread through me. Subconsciously I lick my lips causing his eyes to snap to them. My own eyes dart to his lips which are slightly parted as if they're inviting me to come closer. Our noses brush and I don't even remember moving closer to him, yet here I am, so close to him I could probably count his eyelashes. His eyes meet mine for a fraction of a second and again I see the hunger in them, the desire that I've been so blind to these past few months.
There's nothing more I want to do but close the gap between us.
"LILY!"
I lean away from George and bury my head in his shoulder. Ginny opens the door a fraction of a second later.
"Lily we have to go to Mungo's-" she suddenly stops as she takes in the sight in front of her. I'm glad I'm the one facing her as though my face might be as red as a tomato, at least she's protected from George's wrath for now. I keep my hands on his arms, and my mind can't help but think about how amazing it would feel to run my hands up and down his biceps.
"Oh did I interrupt something?" Surprisingly her voice comes out sheepish as if she's ashamed of ruining our moment. Well it would make sense, she's had to deal with me and my crush for a long time now.
Sighing I do the very thing I don't want to- I remove myself from George's arms and get off the bed. "No it's alright, we were just talking..." I mutter, putting a lot of distance between George and I so that I won't be tempted to go back into his arms.
"Right..." Ginny says in a tone to suggest my lame excuse was not believable. "Anyways, we're going to Mungo's to see dad now. And we're leaving like now," she says the last part mainly to George who still hasn't turned to face his sister. "Just come downstairs soon," she says walking off, but not before giving me a pointed look which told me now was not the time for a heated make out session with George. Now they needed to go see their father.
"Come on George," I say, my voice slightly odd. I see a smile form on his lips as he looks down at his hands. He then turns and looks at me in a way that makes me feel really self conscious. "You have to go," I whisper, not trusting my voice. George gets up and takes my hand in his.
"We have to go," he corrects me. "I said I wanted you to meet my parents, and I meant it. I want you to meet dad." He says rendering me speechless. I nod at him and let him lead me out of the room and downstairs to meet everyone else. I get a cheeky wink from Fred causing me to roll my eyes. But then I see Mrs. Weasley give me the same disapproving look I got yesterday. She doesn't say a word when George grabs my hand and pulls me into the car.
The journey to St. Mungo's is uncomfortable and a large pit grows in my stomach for some unknown reason. I know I'm not that nervous about meeting George's father. I mean it seems like his mother already has formed an opinion on me, so if both parents hate me, it's not completely insane. No this is something else. As we get nearer and nearer to the hospital I feel more horrible.
All the same I find the strength to plaster on a smile as we enter the building. A horrible smell fills my nose and suddenly I feel really weak. It's as if I've been here before, but I can't ever remember going to the hospital before.
Ginny gives me a questioning look causing me to plaster on my smile again.
"You don't need to be worried, dad will love you," she whispers to me, giving my arm a small squeeze. She thinks I'm worried about meeting her father. Of course she does, she knows how much it bothers me that her mother isn't exactly jumping for joy at my relationship with her son. I feel like if they know my secret then I have no hope of getting through my dark past with George.
Smiling at her, I follow everyone through to Mr. Weasley's ward. I linger by the door way whilst Mrs. Weasley has a rant at her husband for dabbling with muggle healing methods. It weirds me out as well. Stitches. Does the person actually get stitched up like a cloth or something? It does not sound very secure to me. Both George and Fred also choose to wait by the doorway until their mother has finished her rant. Harry, Ron and Hermione slipped away quietly before Mrs. Weasley could begin her full rant, an idea I wish I also came up with.
The more time I spend in this hospital, the worse I feel. I feel like every atom in my body is screaming for me to leave. Many times I find myself hiding away from the Healers that walk past as if they're going to take me somewhere as well. I'm being irrational, I think. George brought me here to meet his parents and here I am acting like this massive baby. I need to find strength somewhere and get through this.
"Come on, I think they're done," Fred says snapping me out of my trance. My eyes meet George's and he looks away quickly as if he's been caught staring. He wasn't observing my near panic attack all this time was he? That would be embarrassing and really hard to explain because I don't even know why I'm acting like this.
I get up slowly and follow the twins into the room. Mrs. Weasley has disappeared somewhere, probably to go rant at the Healer that was involved in Mr. Weasley's experiments. I use George as a human shield and for once I'm thankful for his height.
"Hey dad, Merry Christmas," both the twins chorus.
"Hello boys," Mr. Weasley says, his face still slightly pale. "Merry Christmas to you too."
"Mum seems really stressed," Fred says, and I have to bite my tongue from saying something sarcastic for pointing out the obvious.
"Ah yes," Mr. Weasley pales further if that's even possible. "Well she worries too much," he says, his eyes unfocused as if he's thinking about something else.
"Yeah it's not really been her morning," Ginny says sitting on the bed next to her father. Mr. Weasley narrows his eyes at the twins suddenly becoming more alert.
"Did you boys do an-" he starts but then George interrupts him.
"It was Percy," he says and I frown. I haven't heard that name before. I know they have two more brothers who are both working abroad but I don't recall any of them being called Percy.
Mr. Weasley looks angry for a second but then his face clears when he glances at his daughter. In his eyes you could still see the signs of anger, hurt, betrayal. I wonder who this Percy is who has caused this family such pain.
"And who is this?" Mr. Weasley asks as my eyes meet his briefly. George turns and raises his eyebrows at me as if he's surprised to see me shy in front of his father. Well what else was he going to expect? It's not like I'm great with strangers or something and this is the-guy-I -like's father.
"This is Lily, she's my best friend," Ginny says quickly with a glint in her eyes. That's the second time she's stolen the introduction from George. But George rolls his eyes at her and gently puts an arm around my shoulders as he moves me so that I'm closer to Mr. Weasley.
"This is the girl I was telling you about yesterday dad," George says and Mr. Weasley's eyebrows raise as he gives me a quick inspection. I suddenly feel very conscious about the clothes I'm wearing: jeans and a green flowy top. Is it suitable?
But then Mr. Weasley smiles at me. "Well it's nice to finally meet you Lily," he says. "I would shake your hand but I'm a bit tied up right now," he continues cheerfully and I find myself smiling at his pun. He's got bandages all over him, so he is quite literally tied up.
"It's nice to meet you too," I say once I find my voice. The room becomes quiet and I find myself in the spotlight once again. What am I supposed to do? What if I do something wrong without realising it and then he'll hate me too?
"She's shy when she meets strangers but don't worr-" Fred starts.
"Alright we got it the first time you said your speech," Ginny interrupts him and I smile at her thankfully. Fred scowls at her but doesn't say another word.
"So Lily, I hear you're in your fifth year now. O.W.L.s and all that?" Mr. Weasley says making conversation between us.
"Yeah, but they're all in the summer so I'm not worried yet," I say. "But don't tell Hermione I said that," I mutter in a low voice causing Mr. Weasley to smile knowingly.
"I'm sure you'll be fine," he says and I just shrug at him.
"I'm not too fussed. I feel like it's a waste of time considering what's going on and all," I say and immediately the atmosphere of the room changes. I mentally scold myself. Why is it so easy to talk to Mr. Weasley. Truth be told speaking to him makes me see where George and Fred get their charming qualities from and that makes it easier to talk to him.
But Mr. Weasley gives me a grim smile. "It shouldn't rob you of your Hogwarts experience though. That will stay with you for the rest of your life," he says and I'm surprised he didn't tell me off for my views like I thought he would. Instead he acknowledge them, but offered a different outlook. I find my respect for this man treble with that statement.
"I guess I didn't think of it like that," I say with a smile. George looks clearly relieved and I can tell he thinks my mission to join the Order has stopped. But it's the very opposite. Dumbledore has a mission for me and who knows what that will entail. Whatever it is, I know George will not be happy with it. More secrets. More lies. How can I expect him to trust me when I barely tell him anything about myself?
"Could you give Lily and I a moment please?" Mr. Weasley says suddenly and I find my heart rate speeding up. This is it. I've done it again. I've made him dislike me in some way. George gives me a reassuring smile and walks out giving his brother a punch in the gut for his earlier attempts at a speech about me. Once the room is clear, Mr. Weasley gestures to a chair next to his bed which I tentatively take.
"So Lily," Mr. Weasley starts and I prepare myself for the worst. "I just want you to know I'm glad George met you," he says causing me to look up in surprise. That is not what I expected him to say at all.
"I-I'm sorry?" I splutter and he smiles tiredly at me.
"You bring out a different side to him one neither I nor Molly have seen before. He's different when he's with you and I think it's good." He says simply.
"I don't think Mrs. Weasley would agree with you," I say again without thinking. Mr. Weasley laughs at my comment and shakes his head.
"Yes, my wife is more protective over our sons. It will take time for her to adjust, but don't worry it's not you. I believe it's due to how serious you two seem to have gotten in such a short amount of time," Mr. Weasley says again his eyes glazing over if he's thinking about something else.
"I disagree," I say causing him to raise his eyebrows at me. "It took- It took George a long time to make me trust him and he's always cautious around me because I'm... I'm so difficult." I whisper the last part and Mr. Weasley gives me a sympathetic look.
"That might be true, but they way you are together tells a different story. You might not see it now, but you will one day" Mr. Weasley says kindly. "And George used a lot of words to describe you but difficult wasn't one of them." He continues with a cheeky glint in his eyes. One I'm very familiar with. I raise my eyebrows at him and he briefly checks the door to check that it is closed.
"He said something along the lines of you being the most brilliant yet intimidating girl he's met," he adds in a low voice causing heat to rush up to my cheeks. "And that's a really good thing for him right now," Mr. Weasley continues giving me another smile. I return it with one of my own.
"Now I think you should go before Molly comes back with that Healer. No one should be here to witness that poor man's execution," he says and I find myself laughing.
I walk out of the room and George looks up immediately with a small crease of worry on his forehead, but when I smile at him, it disappears. I think I just got a sick father's blessing and that makes me feel wonderful. It makes me forget the uncomfortable feeling I have in this wretched place and when I reach up to wrap my arms around George to hug him, I feel like no matter how bad an environment is, as long as I have him by my side, I'll get through it.
"What's that for?" George asks as I pull away. Our face are still relatively close to one another as I stand on my tip toes and he leans down.
"I guess I never really thanked you for helping me with my trunk on that first day of school," I say smiling as the tips of his ears go red. My eyes dart to his lips and I remember where we left off before we were rudely interrupt. I glance up and his eyes are fixed on my own lips causing me to smile again as I realise he's also thinking about that too.
"Hey guys!" We hear Fred's voice call from the end of the hallway but George doesn't move and neither do I.
"Guys come on, don't leave me alone like this!" He continues causing me to wrap my arms more tightly around George's neck.
"Kissing is unhygienic in this place!" Fred calls loudly and I shut my eyes willing for him to disappear.
"I could just hex him," I mutter in a low voice with my eyes still shut.
"It's the perfect place for it as well," George murmurs in a similar tone.
"Guys" Fred says his voice getting louder as if he's walking towards us. I sigh and lean away from George. I guess it's the problem of having a big family, you can never find a moment for just you. George scowls at his brother who just claps his shoulder.
"I just saved you from whatever diseases are in this place," Fred says grinning cheerfully at us. I roll my eyes at him and push past him to a refreshments table. Pouring myself a glass of water I can just about imagine the non verbal argument the twins are probably having right now. The first time I witnessed it, I was really weirded out. It's just a lot of angry staring with some nose wrinkling. But the Ginny told me it was normal for them two and I got used to it.
"So you're less nervous now," Ginny says walking towards me. "Must have been the fact that I was right and my dad is a huge softie," she continues and I grin at her. I do feel much better now but there's still a tightness in my stomach. I guess I'm just the type of person who doesn't do too well in this type of place. It's probably due to the fact that I've lost so many people and these Healers are supposed to save people yet they failed to do that for me. Not that they could do anything anyways. Still I can't help but feel angry and hurt.
"Come on you idiots," Ginny calls to the twins as we head on out of the building. I feel much better now that I'm no longer in there and find myself smiling as I look around at the beautiful layer of snow. Ginny goes back to talk to her brothers for a second and a moment later George is pushed towards me as Ginny pulls Fred to the other side. She gives me a smile as I catch her eyes and I guess this is her way of apologising for earlier.
"Merry Christmas," I say softly, nudging my shoulder on George's arm and he smiles down at me.
"Merry Christmas to you too Lils," he whispers.
I glance up at him and realise he's yet again fixed on my lips. It's like we're in uncharted territory and all we want to do is explore. He smiles at me as if he's read my mind causing me to frown.
"What's wrong?" He asks inching his face closer to mine.
"Why are you smiling?" I ask and his smile just grows.
"I'm just thinking about how you're absolutely, outstandingly gorgeous and quite frankly that's the least interesting thing about you," he says in a low voice causing goosebumps to appear on my arms. I stare at him speechless as his words rerun in my mind over and over again.
"Oh just kiss already!" Fred calls loudly from the other end and despite the interruption for the third time today, I smile feeling weirdly ecstatically happy. George smirks as he leans in, bridging the gap between us. And suddenly the world around me dissolves and it's just me and him. In the background Ginny punches her brother and Mrs. Weasley yells at them to behave. Ron calls at us complaining about being cold and wanting to get home but we just ignore it all.
None of it matters. All that matters is his lips on mine, his arms wrapped around my waist pulling me closer to him, but mostly, his smile that creeps in when Fred calls him a traitor.
_________________________________________________________
A/N: THE DATE IS FRIDAY 19TH OCTOBER 2018 AND THIS FANFIC IS NUMBER 1 UNDER THE TAG OF JK ROWLING IM NOT SCREAMING YOU ARE.
THANK YOU.
GUYS - HOLY MACARONI, I'M STUNNED. I HOPE YOU'RE ALL ENJOYING THE FIC SO FAR- I'M TRYING TO EDIT AS FAST AS I CAN!
On another note, sometimes I really rEALLY cringe when rereading my work, especially when I end a sentence with 'or something'. Like seriously Saf, great imagination you have - 5 stars well done 10/10. Also how many times do I use the word 'just'?! Enroll me into the league now pls.
A quick note on how I've been editing. I haven't been completely changing the story, only adding extra parts, expanding certain areas, but the gist is the same. To rewrite it all would take way too long and tbh, I like seeing how my writing changes and develops.
Sorry for the extra long A/N I'm jUST (bleugh) really chuffed
Much love
~Saf~