I love the night.
But the night is when all my faults and things I hate play threw my mind on repeat!
They remind me how worthless I am and much I really want to die.
Times when I did something I wish I never did plays through my mind.
I'm a fuck up.
I mess everything up.
I ruin everything.
I make things worse.
Over and over they play.
I cry so hard and want to scream and die so badly, but I can't not yet.
I never have these thoughts in the day, why at night?
I find the thoughts in the day are all false things I come up with to make things, better.
The thoughts at night at loud and there right in front as the others in day seem distant.
I'm a different person in night and in day.
I feel more me in night. But I don't know who the real me is.
I like the night better but it's brings out the worse in me.
Maybe that's why I like it, to show how worthless I really am.
I know I'm worthless.
Maybe, just maybe, that's why.
But who knows, maybe it's not too.