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Rilos sat down on the couch with me on his lap.
"Go see your wolf, sweetheart."
I nodded, drying my tears with the back of my hand, and closed my eyes. I saw her, her tail wagging. I ran to her and hugged her, rubbing my face in the fur of her neck. I missed you Keeshee. That was the nickname I gave her when I was younger. It meant storm. She whimpered in approval. She looked exactly like I remembered, pure white fur and big purple eyes. Why did it take you so long to come back? She shrugged and showed me a question mark. You don't know? She shook her head and showed me a cage. You were trapped? Was it my fault? She just stared. It was, sorry. What made you come out? She showed me Rilos' wolf and a wolf howling. You heard his wolf call you. She nodded. Well then, come with me, you have to meet our soul-mate. She backed away from me, shaking her head and growling. Don't be like that; he's really nice. He'll never hurt us. She arched one brow in disbelief as she showed me the memories from Henina's attack. It wasn't him and you know it. I approached her carefully and she growled louder, showing her teeth. Please don't leave me alone. I need you. I reached out to touch her and she snapped her jaws at me. Okay. I get it. Tears formed in my eyes. I won't force you to come out, but he's our soul-mate and you'll have to give him a chance eventually. She scoffed, turning her head away from me. Look, I know that you're scared and I still am a little, but... I sat down, tears falling. I didn't like being in conflict with myself. I stared into her eyes, a perfect reflection of mine. You have to know. I'm having a hard time acknowledging this, but saying it to you might help. I'm in love with Rilos, Keeshee. I'm not ready to tell him, but I love him. One day you'll feel the same way. I just wish I didn't have to wait longer for you to come out. I drifted back to consciousness. I was still on Rilos' lap.
"She's not coming out, is she?" he asked softly.
"She's scared."
"Of me."
"Of everyone, not just you. Let's give her some time."
"Lyra, if she's scared of me..."
I turned my head to look into his eyes.
"No. Just because she is scared doesn't mean that I am."
"Sweetheart, she is you."
"Well, I'm rational and she isn't."
"Emotions aren't known to be. I'll wait for her to be ready."
"I know you will."
"I'll go take a shower now, okay?"
He let me go, kissed the inside of my wrist and walked to the bathroom, but hesitated before entering.
"Are you scared of leaving me alone?"
"After what I learned today, yes, a little bit."
"Call Satie, she wants to talk to you anyway."
"Okay, I'll do that."
Satie appeared in the middle of the room. I jumped. I thought she would walk through the door and not that fast.
"Sorry, sweetheart, I made her appear. Satie, look after her. We'll talk when I'm done."
He shut the door and started the shower. Satie sat down beside me, rubbing my knee.
"How did everything go since you ran off?"
Tears swelled up in my eyes.
"Satie, he was hurting himself. He broke his hand probably more times than I've had birthdays. While I was creating these stupid lights and remembering happy times, he was devastated and hurt and I did nothing."
"You did something, Lyra. You found him, calmed him down and brought him back. That's more than Talia was able to do. That's more than any of us would have been able to do. Talia told me that he was hurting himself and I didn't know how to help him, but you did. You helped him, Lyra. And your lights are not stupid, I bet he liked them very much."
"He did."
"I want to know what happened to you."
"I repaired his hand, he hugged me and it took me 7 hours to calm down. Then we came back here and talked about what had happened when we were separated. I hugged him, I asked him to hug me, he did and kissed my wrist."
I deliberately omitted the biting talk. Not that I didn't trust her, it was between Rilos and me. I didn't talk to her about my wolf either. I still had difficulties wrapping my head around the fact that my wolf didn't want to have anything to do with Rilos.
"Well, I'm glad that you are able to touch him again. I thought that it would take you as long, if not longer, than last time. Are you still scared of him?"
"No, but my body is still a bit afraid. I still see the snarl on his face, well, Henina's face. I can't get the image out of my head."
"You might never will. You just have to realize that what you saw wasn't the reality. He didn't do that to you. She did. And she is dead. She can't hurt you anymore. Rilos will always be there for you, Lyra. You just have to let him get close to you. Speaking of the wolf, you finished your shower, Rilos?"
I turned around. He was standing next to the bathroom door, dressed, and his hair were still damp.
"Why don't you go to bed, sweetheart? You must be really tired. I'll get one of your girls to come and watch over you. I have to talk to Satie, Talia and Vriany."
As soon as he said that, my heart clenched.
"I don't want you to leave," I cried.
He looked at me, confusion and panic rising in his eyes.
"Lyra, I'm not leaving you. I'm just going to talk to them. I'll come back after, I promise."
I ran into his arms, crying on his shoulder.
"Can't you stay here? I'm scared, Rilos. Afraid of not waking up, afraid that if I do, you won't be there."
****
"Lyra, is your wolf amplifying your emotions right now?"
I looked and saw her crying and growling at the same time. She didn't like to be so close to him, but didn't want him to leave either.
"Keeshee, if you don't want to come out, that's fine. But don't blow my emotions out of proportion either."
"You call her Keeshee?"
"Yeah. When we were younger, she used to explode and destroy everything if I was bottling up my emotions for too long. She felt like a storm. Do you have a nickname for yours?"
"Jinary."
"Warrior? Why?"
"We were born in a blood bath and he would come out only when it was time to fight until you came along."
"A blood bath?"
"I'll tell you tomorrow, okay?"
"Promise?"
"Yes."
****
"I'll be there when you wake up, sweetheart, don't worry."
"We could have the meeting here, Rilos," said Satie.
"We can't. Last time I checked, Vriany was still a man."
"Lyra, do you think that you'll be scared of his wolf?"
I looked at Keeshee to see what she was thinking. She shook her head and puffed her chest. I smiled at her bravado. She was a bit scared, but was courageous enough not to show it. My healing process was going better than expected.
"It should be fine. I'll get on the balcony if it's too much to endure."
"No, he will go out if it's too much for you," replied Rilos.
"Deal."
He squeezed me harder.
"You're doing great, sweetheart," he whispered.
He let me go and sat on the couch. I laid beside him, putting my head on his lap. He started stroking my hair.
"Let's do this."