Sitting on a chair beside the window, the cool breeze fanned Najah's face.
A genuine smile, one that crinkled the corners of her eyes and reached the depths of her soul, graced her lips. Peace, a long-awaited feeling, had finally embraced her. Gone were the nights choked by silent tears and the suffocating loneliness that had become a constant companion to her.
Back then, her world had shrunk in the confines of her failing marriage. Now, that she was finally free from the prison, it felt extremely good. The saying 'You don't know what you have until you lose it' is true, but it is also true that 'You don't know what you have been missing until it arrives.' And Najah resonated more with the latter.
Although she couldn't deny the sleepless nights spent thinking about Jameel, the bittersweet memories they created together, and the possibility of them ever getting back together, she was glad the divorce happened. This newfound peace, the freedom from the toxicity was all worth it. It was a gift she cherished.
She deserved this peace. It was a reminder of the strength she possessed. Walking away from that marriage was one of the best decisions she had ever taken for herself. She had chosen to move forward. Not because her love for Jameel had died, but out of newfound love for herself.
And did she regret it? No, there was no regret. Only the quiet hum of contentment, and a brighter future.
"Najah!" Hajiya's voice, warm and familiar, resounded from outside the house.
"Oh, she is back!" She muttered, a smiling curling up her lips.
Rising quickly, she sprinted out of the room, nearly colliding with the door in her haste.
Hajiya's hospitality even after her divorce with her son was something that would never cease to amaze her. Indeed, she was one of a kind. Her unwavering support was a debt Najah would never be able to repay. She had felt some type of way about having to live with her ex husband's mother but not anymore. Hajiya had made it extremely comfortable for her. The love and respect she harbored for this extraordinary woman could never be overemphasized.
Reaching the door, Najah threw it open; the smile never leaving her face. "Welcome back, Hajiya?" She exclaimed, gathering the bags Hajiya was holding. "It has only been a day since you left for your friend's daughter's wedding and I've missed you so much. How was the ceremony?"
"It was lovely, my dear," she replied, walking into the house. "I'm so tired."
"You should freshen up and have some rest," Najah said, guiding her towards the hallway. "I will bring your food to you room. I also have good news for you." Najah announced excitedly.
Hajiya's eyes sparkled a little. "What is it?"
"Don't worry about it," Najah winked. "I will tell you about it later. You will be so happy for me."
Hajiya nodded. "Please don't forget to bring the bags when coming. The red one is a souvenir for you."
"Awww! Thanks, Hajiya. You didn't forget me."
"Can I even?" She countered, playfully. "When you kept calling me a hundred times. I thought my phone was going to blow up."
"You don't know how lonely it was staying here without you."
"I can imagine."
•
The metallic tray clinked softly as Najah arranged Hajiya's food on it. Anticipation bubbled in her chest, a mix of excitement and nervousness about the news she was about to share. How would Hajiya React? Would she be excited for her? Would she support her? Despite the uncertainty, she still believed strongly that Hajiya would not have a problem with it.
Taking a deep breath to steady herself, Najah balanced the tray and made her way towards Hajiya's room to serve her and to share her life-changing news with her.
"Assalamualaikum," she whispered softly. "May I come in, Hajiya?"
"Wa alaikum salaam. Yes, my dear." Came Hajiya's reply. "Come in."
Najah pushed open the door; a gentle smile on her face.
Hajiya was nestled on her bed, scrolling through her phone.
"Here is your food," Najah said, placing the tray in front of her. "I cooked your favourite meal."
Hajiya's face lit up. "Thank you, my daughter. May Allah bless you. I'm getting so used to being spoiled by you."
"It's the least I can do after everything you've done for me. This isn't even enough. As long as I am in this house, I will continue to spoil you rotten," Afrah promised.
"What news do you have for me?" She asked. "I have been wondering."
"Okay, so..." Najah's voice trailed. She took in a deep breath before continuing. "Hajiya," she began, her voice soft but resolute. "I have decided to go back to school. To pursue a master's degree." She closed her eyes, bracing herself for Hajiya's response.
Hajiya took Najah's hand in hers and squeezed it softly.
Still nervous, Najah peeked open one eye, dreading the thought of seeing disappointment in her eyes. Why would she even be disappointed? She also had no idea why she was so afraid. But she was. Verily so.
When she peeked open one eye, she didn't find disappointment in Hajiya's eyes. Her face didn't hold disapproval, but an inquiry. She seemed genuinely concerned about her. "Are you sure, Najah?"
Najah, emboldened by the lack of disapproval, nodded firmly. Before getting married to Jameel, and even as a child, she had always dreamed of finishing school and opening her own organization. "I want to work, Hajiya. I can only achieve this dream by going back to school."
"What type of work is that?"
"It's a social work. I want to help people, especially..." Najah hesitated, a familiar knot forming in her stomach. "Especially women and even kids caught in difficult situations...like women who are caught in abusive relationships, and children who are exposed to violence and neglect, and their childhood being taken away from them. I want to be a voice for the voiceless...to guide them towards safety and healing. They deserve a chance, Hajiya. A chance to heal, to feel safe..." Tears welled up in her eyes, but she blinked them back. "I really want to become a youth counselor, Hajiya."
Hajiya's lips curved into a smile of admiration. "You have my support, Najah. One hundred percent. In fact, I'm so happy you've decided to do this."
Tears of appreciation streamed down Najah's face. "I know I have thanked you a million times already and you're probably fed up with it," she choked out; her voice thick with emotion as she wiped her tears. "You don't know how much your support means to me."
"The path you've chosen to take isn't an easy one, Najah, but I trust that you're going to ace all your examinations and emerge victorious. Your good heart shall be the light in your new journey. You have my support, as well as my blessings."
More tears welled up in Najah's eyes, blurring her vision. For the first time in her entire life, Najah felt a sense of purpose—a clear direction for her dreams. Her passion to help people and be there for them in difficult times was second to none.
Looking back, Najah realized that Jameel's shadow had unintentionally dimmed the flame of her ambition, putting her aspirations on hold. But now, free of that shadow, the desire to help others surged back, stronger than ever.
"And I hope you find the happiness you deserve," Hajiya added, reaching for her hand. "You deserve to love and be loved."
Tears welled up in Najah's eyes, but this time, it was for a different reason. Those tears weren't fueled by sadness or regret, but by gratitude and hope. A hope for a new begining. "Someday," she whispered.
"You deserve all the happiness in the world and I pray you get it. It's unfortunate that my son blew his chance. He doesn't deserve you at all. You deserve better, and that is why whatever path you choose to take in the future, you have my unwavering support. Be it forgiving Jameel or moving on entirely from him."
The possibility of going back to Jameel had once held a faint allure, but now, it held no power. The possibility had been completely dismissed from her mind. Extinguished. She wanted absolutely nothing to do with him anymore. Najah's heart hammered a steady rhythm of 'Forward Ever, Backward Never. "I know, Hajiya, and I appreciate that a lot. Speaking about Jameel..." Najah trailed off, calculating her words carefully. "I want to beg you on his behalf to please forgive h—"
"I don't want to hear it!" Hajiya raised a hand, stopping her from speaking further.
"I know you're mad at him, and rightfully so," Najah continued. Though separated from Jameel, a part of her yearned to mend the broken relationship between him and his mother. It was the last thing she wanted to do for him. She could have chosen to overlook the situation as it had nothing to do with her anymore, yet a stubborn ember of loyalty remained alive in her. Not for Jameel, not anymore – but for the memory of a friendship that had once existed. "But," she swallowed a lump in her throat. The thought of advocating for Jameel felt like a betrayal to her newfound freedom, but she couldn't just stand still and allow the relationship deteriorate for she knew how much they meant to each other. She had witnessed their bond firsthand, the way Jameel respected and loved his mother. "He is still your child. Your only son." Najah's voice was laced with a silent plea. "I know there is a part of you that misses him. Maybe there is a chance to mend things? Even a little? I'm sure he's having a hard time with how the situation with you currently is."
Hajiya's brow furrowed; her gaze unwavering. "As long as he remains entangled with that woman, he can never do what's right. And why," Hajiya asked; her voice dropping. "Are you still concerned about him?"
"No," Najah was quick to reply. "I'm more concerned about you because I can see how this is affecting you. I'm sorry if I have crossed a boundary."
"No, you haven't," Hajiya's demeanor softened. "I just don't want to talk about Jameel right now. Let's not ruin the mood, okay?"
A defeated sigh escaped Najah's lips. She nodded. She had tried her best to help. There was nothing more she could do. "I will leave you to enjoy your meal."
Not getting a reply from Hajiya, she took that as a cue to leave the room. Her heart was heavy. She thought she could at least talk to Hajiya but it seemed her anger wasn't going away soon.
Reaching her room, she fumbled for her phone nestled among her clothes on the bed and she found it. As she picked it up and the screen lit up, her eyes widened in surprise. A string of missed calls, all with the same name.
"Jameel?" Her heart thumped frantically against her chest.
Twenty missed calls?!
•
Najah's POV ☺️
She's doing so well after the divorce and plans to further her education. She's also open to finding love in someone else 🥺 what do you think about this?
And Jameel? 😭
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