"Ultraviolet" by Spiritbox plays through the speakers of the car as we come over the hill, Lochness coming into full view.
"Woah." Jolly says in awe of the sight.
"It's stunning isn't it." I smile at the beauty of the countryside I was so lucky to grow up in.
"Can we pull over? I wanna get a quick photo." Jolly asks.
"Okay but you'll need to make it real fast. There's no lay-bys in this part." I reply pulling over for the guys to take photos.
"Margo you need to be in the photos too." Noah tells me as they all exit the car. For people who don't have a huge personal media presence they sure do like to take pictures.
I get out the car and make my way over to where the boys are standing and we take a couple of pictures as a group then individually.
"Are we gonna see the Lochness monster?" Folio asks as we get back into the car.
"Oh for sure. She's spotted regularly by locals." I laugh starting up the car.
"She's a she?" Folio seems surprised.
"Yeah she's a she. What a weird ass day, taking us to try find the Lochness monster with my grandparents and baby brother." I shake my head as we park up at the stone beach.
"Fifty bucks for whoever spots it first." Noah chuckles as they undo their seat belts.
"Bet. Let's go." Nick laughs as we exit the car and join where my family have seated themselves further along the beach.
"Ooooh yes, move over I'll play." I say sitting down next to my grandma.
"What are we playing?" Noah asks taking a seat next to me as the guys start to skim stones along the water.
"We stack a bunch of flat rocks into a tower and try to knock them down from back here. Whoever wins has to go seat themselves further back for the next round." I explain as my grandparents play, Rowan happily babbling away sitting on my grandmas lap.
"Awesome let's play." Noah smiles as my grandma finally knocks down the pile.
I restack the pile and we start a new game. My grandma places Rowan on my lap and I kiss his curly red hair as I look out to the Loch. Jolly, Folio and Nick now pushing each other about near the water. Noah scooches closer to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder then kissing the side of my head.
"Please can we come here in the summer." Noah asks and I shake my head.
"We'll see." I mutter back.
"I won't give in Margo." He whispers with a smile as Rowan wraps his hand around Noah's finger. I look over to Noah who's smiling down at Rowan with a glimmer in his eye.
"Do you want to hold him?" I ask Noah who now looks at me worried.
"I... I'm not great with kids. I'm not around them and uh... yeah. I don't know I've never-" I cut him off by putting Rowan on his lap and he automatically stables him.
"What was that?" I smirk at him. "You're doing fine." I say and throw a rock at the pile narrowly missing.
Noah tries after me one arm on Rowans waist keeping him firmly in place as he throws the rock only knocking the top stone off.
"Close Noah." My grandad kindly says as I turn back to Noah who's started to relax a little.
"Suits you." Nick mocks nodding at Noah holding Rowan. I catch Noah starting to blush looking down at Rowan clearly uncomfortable at Nick's comment. Nick winks at me regarding Noah's awkwardness making me laugh as the others come over.
"What we doing?" Jolly asks quickly glancing at Rowan on Noahs lap looking slightly confused.
"Playing a game." Noah says like it's obvious.
"I love games!" Nick replies excitedly.
"Dude we know." Folio chuckles and they start to stack their own rock pile. "Right, how do we play?"
*
"Are you going now?" Isla asks me as she's getting ready for bed. Rose and Rowan already tucked away and fast asleep.
"Yeah baby, I'm going now. I have to go home." I reply gently, her eyes begin to well. "Oh Isla, come here." I wrap my arms around her stroking her beautiful hair. "I'll be back soon."
"For when Santa comes." She asks her voice small.
"Yes, I'll be back for Santa coming to visit you." I smile then kissing the top of her head.
"Mar, that's the cab here." Noah gently says from behind me.
"Well it was lovely to meet you all. Thank you for coming even under the not so great circumstances." My grandma hugs everyone one by one.
"I'll miss you." I say as I hug my grandma then my grandad.
"We'll miss you too. Stay safe. You're in good hands you've got yourself some great friends there." My grandma smiles as I pick up my case.
"The best... I guess that's us." I say turning around to see Isla hugging Noah goodbye the sight begins to make my own eyes well. "I love you all."
"We love you too." They chorus.
"I love you lots and lots." I hear Isla mumble as we get to the front door, Folio and Jolly already piling cases into the taxi.
"Like jelly tots." I say back to her earning a smile.
"Like jelly tots."
*
Noah's knee is bobbing up and down as we take our seats on the plane, I place my hand over his own hoping the small amount of comfort will calm him.
"You're okay." I kiss his cheek and pull out my earbuds. "Wanna share?" I ask holding one out for him.
"Please." He smiles taking the ear bud from me putting it in his ear. There's something so intimate about sharing earbuds with someone, about sharing music.
"Do you wanna choose?" I ask holding my phone out for Noah who shakes his head.
"You pick." He replies and I open Spotify settling on I Prevail "Every Time You Leave" Noah takes my hand in his squeezing it gently.
"We'll be home soon." I try reassuring him as he closes his eyes resting his head against the headrest.
I sigh looking out the plane window as we start to take off Noah squeezing my hand harder then pulling me into him.
"I love you." He whispers into my hair as I rest my head in the crook of his neck.
"I love you. Just one flight and then we'll be back home."
"You're my home too Margo..." I look up looking into Noah's dark eyes who hold mine. "Margo I think we-"
"Dude do you want anything from the trolly?" Nick suddenly turns around interrupting Noah mid sentence.
"No I'm all good." He replies then looking back to me shaking his head.
"You think we?" I press on a million things racing through my mind.
"Never mind." He sighs closing his eyes once more.
"Noah..."
"Here's not the right place Mar. I'll tell you at home."
"...is it bad?" I hesitate knowing Nick can hear us.
"Never. It's never bad baby. I promise." He tells me his pinky searches for mine then wraps around my own.
It stays there for the rest of the flight, his always entwined with mine.