Kabir's pov
She stood in front of me. Her eyes were wide with shock, her breath hitched as I stood equally as dumbfounded as her. I felt my heart drop. The doors opened wide for me to enter but all I cared to see was her properly. My heart broke with each breath I took. Each breath, each blink was a reminder that she wasn't mine.
That she hated me.
Why wouldn't she hate me? I'm not just another sore loser who she rejected but I'm also a guy who hurt her. She has every right to hate me. Even if it breaks me into pieces.
I inhaled sharply when the doors were closing, my hand in between it. It opened again for me to enter. I blinked and gulped, entering the elevator. She shifted aside, avoiding my gaze. I exhaled and was about to press my floor's button but it was already pressed.
She did it? Probably going to meet Kiaan I guess. I pulled my hand back and doors closed as we went up. She kept fidgeting with her fingers. she's nervous. I had this urge to hold her hands and stop that fidgeting. But it would make the situation much worse than it already is. so I suppress the urge. I could feel the tension is the air and I'm sure she could feel it too. It was the longest 3 minutes of my life. As soon the elevator stopped at 6th floor, we both rushed to get out of the door.
However, the door was small for both of us get out so we just bumped into each other. I took a sharp breath and stepped back, indirectly gesturing her to get out. I looked up to see her properly and she glanced back at me. My heart skipped a beat. We had a eye contact for less than 3 seconds until she walked forward and i followed after her. Kiaan's room was opposite mine. I went into mine and for a second I don't understand why, I expected her to call out for me. However, that never happened. and I just closed the door.
closing the door in other circumstances would've been normal but It hurt this time.
I felt like I didn't just close the door of my room but also my heart.
it's funny how I met this girl less than 3 months ago and hated her so much back then. It's funny how much I love her now and how much it is hurting me to not being able to talk to her. To flirt with her and laugh whenever she blushed hard. To annoy her. To admire her. To smile whenever she gave me her sassy comebacks. I ruined everything. We would have been fine if I didn't confess to her and we continued the way we were. Not lovers but at-least I could talk to her, i could annoy her but also make her blush. We could've just friends.
Only if I didn't confess to her.
I shake away the thoughts and decide to work for awhile to be distracted. I always did that. I would drown myself in work whenever something was hurting me. The more hurt I was, the more time I would spend working. But I didn't have the time today. It was 3pm. I had to be ready by 7pm. 8pm was supposed to be the wedding. I turned on the laptop and started working on the new medicine research reports.
Meera's pov
The moment my eyes fell on him, My heart just dropped.
He looked so...
sad.
His eyes were full of hopelessness, sadness and hurt. As much I hate him for hurting me, I felt bad for being the reason he felt sad. Should I just talk to him? I don't want him to have any hopes. I'm just not worth of him. He deserves someone who makes him happy, who gives him the love he deserves, who treats him and his family right. He deserves to experience the feeling of being a father. And not a woman, who steals his rights to experience these joys. Not a woman who takes a son away from his family. It will be unfair. To his family.
To him.
To me.
I know I'm being selfish right now. But I, myself, am really complicated and difficult. And knowing this and getting with someone like Kabir is just going to destroy his and my life. I already am a disappointment, I don't want to create another havoc in his life.
Why am I even confirming myself about him?
Meera, you are letting your feelings get inside your head, my conscience reminded.
Yea, true.
I shouldn't be letting myself giving in to my feelings. I don't want to go through the same thing again. Everything is already complicated. I'm here for my work only. No relations, no feelings attached with anyone. Feelings just complicate life. There isn't any need for for relationships when I can't handle these many already. and he is immature. He needs to face rejection to understand himself better. To focus and become a better man.
For someone else.
When we came out the life and I headed towards Kiaan's room. I don't know why I wanted him to turn behind, and call out to me. I would honestly forgive him and give the guy a hug. But it would only labyrinthine feelings for him. To be honest, I'm not even sure what I'm scared of.
I'm not sure if I'm scared that I might complicate things and bring up his hopes again.
or I'm scared of falling in love?
"Meera, are you okay?" Kiaan tugged my arm a little. I zoned out again, didn't I? I have to stop thinking about it so much now. It's literally my brother's wedding and I can't even enjoy a little. all thanks to him. Wow.
"Who are you thinking about?" He teased, and I just rolled my eyes. I scanned the room and somehow suspiciously I found it quite clean. I looked at Kiaan to ask him about him but my eyes fell on the lipstick stain on his cheek. Oh My God.
Is he cheating on Zara?
No.
NO.
OH MY GOD, MY BROTHER IS A CHEATER.
Shit, what do I do?
"Kiaan, why do you have a lipstick stain on your cheek?" i asked him calmly, while sorts of worst scenarios are playing at the back of my mind. Oh god. His eyes were wide with shock. Oh my god, my brother is a fucking cheater.
"Meera, don't tell anyone, I-
"YOU FUCKING CHEATED ON HER, KIAAN SHIVAAY SINGH?" I yelled, making him flinch. Oh my god, what do I tell Zara? That poor girl is decking up with layers of gold and makeup that goddamn 3 kgs lehenga for her fiancé to cheat on her. Oh god, she would be so hurt. Imagining her like makes my heart clench.
"Do you have any idea how hurt she could be right now? She is down there, trying to accept your family as hers, dealing with annoying aunties for you, decking up and drowning under the weight of gold and makeup for you, and you are here kissing people? fucking cheating on her? I didn't even expect you to step this down, Kiaan. This is so disappointing, you don't even understand how this is gonna ruin her-
"shhhhh" He covered my mouth with his palm. I swear I saw something move behind the curtains.
Is it that girl who he cheating on Zara with?
Must be.
I pushed his hand away and moved swiftly towards her. I pushed the curtains aside. Just to see a woman, standing her yellow kurta, smiling sheepishly at me.
Zara?
What is she doing here?
I looked between these two and finally the situation clicked in.
Her lipstick. She kissed him.
Oh.
thank god.
I started thinking my whole life is a lie at this point.
"I don't even want to talk about this" I said to them, as Zara came out of her hiding and stood beside Kiaan. They looked like teenagers who have been caught kissing by their parents. I stood opposite to them, with crossed arms around my chest.
"Y'all couldn't wait for few hours more? Zara, I thought you were the sensible one!" I whined at her. She just kept sheepishly smiling at me. How could someone even shout at this pretty thing? I felt like cursing myself to death for even whining at her. I see why Kiaan liked her.
"Twahada dimaag ghass chara riha si? Mummy nu iss bare me pata laga janda hai woh uthe tandav suru kara devegi!" I yelled at him.
(Your brain is grazing grass? Mummy gets to know about this and she'll start tandav there!)
"That is if you tell her" He said. What makes him think I won't tell her about this deed of her lonely obedient good son?
"Meera, I'll set you with Kabir. And I won't complain about it. Don't tell her about this" He bribed me. No one knows what happened. There's no point in this discussion also.
"No need, je main mom nu shikaita karangi toh woh mera gala vadha devegi" I said.
(No need, if I complain about it to mom then she'll slit my throat)
He laughed. The audacity of this man to laugh at this point. Zara nudged him and only then did he stop laughing.
"She's not supposed to be here. Zara back to your room. And now either I'm staying here or either I'll keep someone to keep an eye on you two now. I can't believe sometimes that I'm the smaller sister in this family" I complained, lifting my hands up in surrender. I checked outside the door and no one was there. I sent Zara to the ground floor. And closed the door.
Such kids I have to deal with.
I sat there and I complained about how sometimes I have to act like an elder sister and everybody else acts like a kid. We laughed and time passed by so quick that it was already 6pm. I told him to take a quick shower while I called Akhil up to help Kiaan to get ready.
He was already ready since the jutta chupai rasam kept all the sister and brother in laws alert. I went down to my room where Amaira just stepped out of shower, just a towel wrapped around her body.
She defensively clutched the towel tight and hid her tiny body. I just rolled my eyes and passed her another towel.
"I have the same thing you do, Amaira. I'm not surprised" I said and went inside bathroom to take a nice warm bath. At-least it will help feel a little better.
As I strip my clothes and get inside the warm bath tub, I felt slipping into tranquility. As I just sat there for a while as foam covered me, I started analysing my life.
How dreadful is it? I barely talk to my parents, I broke someone's heart.
Kabir.
I imagine him telling his family and my heart clenches. How disappointed would Dipti Aunty be? She loves me like her own daughter. Shekhar was more of a father to me than my own father was. How much would he have hoped that I was his daughter in law? I close my eyes and imagine Shaurya and Kirti. Shaurya wouldn't even show but I would know he would be disheartened. How much would they be sad?
Don't let him affect you so much, Meera.
I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. I don't want to date him, or marry him in any case. That I'm sure of. But then I hate the hopelessness on his face. Like someone just stole his life away from him. I hate the fact that I'm gonna disappoint a family and not just a guy.
How will things be now? He won't talk to me, I don't expect or for some reason, don't want him to.
Wait.
He won't talk to me now?
I think it's finally hitting me then.
He'll fire me? I mean he doesn't have a reason not to. We won't ever meet again? That's not how I wanted things to be.
What else did you think? He'll become a rainbow after you broke his heart?
I hate my conscience for being too honest sometimes.
I mean I knew and I think it's good that we don't meet each other later but.
I don't know.
An uneasy feeling settles in my heart. I inhale in a deep breath and drown in the tub of warm water. I hold my breath inside for a few minutes before it starts feeling suffocated. I come up, panting. I continue doing so for a while and finally walk out of the tub, wrapping myself in a bathrobe.
Kabir saw me almost half naked once. From then I have been conscious about my post bath wear.
Why do I keep thinking about it? Why does everything remind me of him? This is getting so darn annoying now. I can't even enjoy my brother's wedding for fuck's sake.
I come out to, wiping my wet hair and Amaira's not in the room. She probably went out already. I blow dry my hair and straighten them, using the same straigtner to curl the front hair strands, making them bounchy and pushing them aside to the sides of my face. I use the curler from my bad to curl the rest of my hair.
I wanted to wear a saree this time. I know how much of a goddamn work it is and I didn't know how to wear it. Amaira knew but she wasn't present right now so I have to wait. I tried calling her since my patience is starting to wear off. She picked up after few rings.
"Coming-"
"HERE I AM" She yelled, as she burst inside the room. I stepped back, covering my ears from her loudspeaker. What's up with her sudden burst of energy? She was freaking dreading early morning how tiresome the whole ceremony is going to be.
"I'll award you for that later. Now help me with this darn thing" I said, suddenly feeling irritated with the idea of wearing the heavy saree with high heels the whole night. It's literally equivalent to 4 days of workout. I also have work which I have to do as the groom's sister. How will I handle the whole night?
"You chose that darn thing, Meera. Secondly, stop being so cranky , it's your brother's wedding" She tried to cheer me up, possibly not wanting to deal with my wrath. She knows how hard it is to deal with me being all cranky.
As a 11 year old, when I first started getting my periods, they were horrible. I would get the worst pain, the flow of a river Nile through my vulva, I would get sick half of the time and the shooting pain I felt was traumatic. I remember being this cranky during that time. I took the whole house on my head at that point. Soon, it started worsening to a point where it literally stopped after 3 years.
I was really grateful for it that time for the next two months. I didn't have to deal with cramps and horrible pain but after 3 months of my periods abruptly stopping, I started to gain weight at a tremendous amount. I had body hair growing, I know it was normal but it was worse for me compared to others girls.
I was just 14 then.
My mom took me to the gynaec and then was it found out that I had PCOS and that my fertility rate for very low. I honestly didn't understand much at that point. I was happy that I didn't have periods anymore, but then I also wasn't happy that I was becoming fat and hairy compared to others.
Bua ji would taunt how no one would marry me because not only was I just fat and hairy but also infertile. No one would want a woman who's fat and infertile. But I bottled up my feelings until I couldn't handle it anymore.
I was 15 when I started shaving my body hair four times a week and started having Eating Disorders. Yet I didn't get thin, rather I gained more weight. The children of my school kept bullying me.
"Wear the blouse and come out first" Amaira ordered. I opened the bag where the saree was and Gosh.
It was shining just the way we was when I decided to go with it for the wedding. I took the blouse and told Amaira to turn around while I wore it. She turned around, while I also faced my back towards her, wearing the blouse. It was quite heavy. It was full sleeve padded blouse with a U neckline. It was paired with tassels and intricated with fine embroidary and jewels. I fell in the love with the blouse all over again. It did feel heavy and quite itchy but I soon adjusted to it. I wore my skin coloured petticoat that was perfect to my size, by God's Grace.
I turned around and asked Amaira to turn around too. She smiled looking at the blouse, which meant she found it pretty.
"You look so pretty, are you sure Kabir will keep his hands to himself today?" She teased. My smile dropped along with my heart. Again. I, however, masked it quickly with a fake smile and an eye roll. She laughs and starts drapping the saree on me. She asks me to hold one end of the saree and tug it inside the petticoat and I very delicately tugged it in as she asked me.
She drapes the saree around me so professionally, I'm quite impressed. As soon as she's done with plates she hands then to me, and tells to tug them inside the petticoat. I follow her instructions and tug it slowly and delicately. She then takes the rest of the saree and throws it around my shoulder and makes plates and secures the pallu on my shoulders with safety pins.
It is heavier than I am. It was a floral net embroidered net saree.
I turn around to check myself out. And Oh my god.
Not self obsessed but definitely self obsessed. I twirled a little and I loved the way I was looking. Efforts worth it? Absolutely. It had some wired work near the hip that made my curves look better.
I giggled and twirled again like a little girl. It was shining and stunning. Just what I needed. Amaira laughed and hugged me tight. The moment she hugged me, I felt some sort of peace. I might not admit it but I love hugs. They feel so peaceful. I exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding. It's like I could breathe again. As she left, I felt uneasy again.
I turned to the mirror to apply some a little darker shade of pink nude lipstick. I wore some white and pink earring to go with it.
Everything seemed to be heavy and pulling me down but I felt pretty. After a very long time. I applied some mascara and applied another very thin stroke of eyeliner. As soon as I was done with everything, Amaira stepped out in a dark blue coloured saree with a strapped blouse.
Everything was suddenly feeling better. I spray some lovely body mist on me. We stepped out to the lawn where the mandap was set up.
It looked extravagant. We quickly clicked pictures for our Instagram. But my heart was beating so fast, not wanting to see him. I did want to but at the same time I didn't want to either.
"Dulhe ko mandap par bulayiye" We heard pandit ji say after setting up the fire-alter. Mom, who was standing near Pandit ji, gestured for me to call him. I nodded and called Akhil on his phone. He picked up after a few rings and I ordered him to get him down fast. I hung up his call and was talking to some people here and there.
He isn't here till now?
"Meera Singh? The lawyer and the only daughter of Shivaay Singh?" I heard a unfamiliar voice behind me. I turned around to see a tall, guy, in a kurta looking at me with a soft smile plasteree om his face. Do I know him?
"That's me, Yes. Do I know you?" I asked him. He blinks and puts his hand forward for a handshake. My gaze falls between his hands and him. Huh?
"Rishab Mehra, a CEO of Mehra Steel Industries and Private. Ltd. Nice to meet you, Ms.Meera" He said. Why does he seem familiar? I don't remember seeing him anywhere. I just mentally shrug off and shake his hand.
"Nice to meet you too, Mr. Rishab" I said, passing him a smile.
"Before you think I crashed the wedding, let me tell you that I was invited by your father" He said, pulling his hand behind. I laugh a little and shake my head.
"It's alright, I don't know a lot of people here and we can't assume that they all have crashed the wedding, can we?" I played along, at which he just laughed as well. There was few scars on his face but other than that, he seemed like a nice person.
He asked me about few details about myself and I answered them. I just turned a little to see him
Kabir.
Why does he look so angry?
And here's part 2 of Kiaan's wedding. I left it with a cliffhanger. I know a lot of y'all will complain about irregular updates but it's hard to write so many chapters a day while studying as well.
Anyway, Do y'all remember Rishab? Let me know in the comments!
Till then
Toodles~