Sanem ran into her parents' living room with Can following right behind her.
Anne! she called out, and finding her mother crying alone in the slightly dark living room, her heart broken.
Anne, she whispered as she gathered her in her arms and wept together.
Can slowly sat down nearby, not wanting to disturb them but making sure they knew he was close.
Where is baba? Why, why did they call? We were to see them soon, Sanem asked as mother gathered her strength.
He, um, he went to bed. He was exhausted from work and wasn't able to wait for you and Leyla. He said he would see you in the morning. They wanted us to know as soon as possible so they called. They will reschedule the appointment we had into one with an oncologist, Mevkibe answered, wiping tears from her eyes.
Besides, I didn't want him to see me like this, she continued.
What did he say when he got the news? What are they saying are our options, Sanem continued, lifting her head when she heard Leyla come in with Emre in tow.
Anne? Anne! I'm here. Where is baba? Leyla cried, kneeling in front of her mother.
They don't know much without a biopsy but they said it was a large mass in his stomach. We will know more once we talk to the oncologist. I tried to understand everything but after they said that word, my heart beat so loud I couldn't hear them, she said, the tears coming fresh again.
Emre walked in and patted his brother on the shoulder and squeezed. Can did the same with Emre's hand, neither knowing how they could help.
Baba didn't say much. You know him. Stoic and strong. He said we would fight this together and that he was going to be alright. He didn't want us to worry, Mevkibe answered, sobbing. I can't lose him, girls. I can't!
Leyla and Sanem held their mother as she cried, not knowing what to say.
Can stood up and came and kneeled in front of them with his large hands spread over the three women.
Mevkibe, if there is one thing I've learned about the Aydin family is that they are strong and brave. We don't know what will happen but I know this for certain. Nehat will fight. You will fight, all of you. You won't let this take you down. You will take this one day at a time and face it together. And know this. My family will be fighting with you, right there, helping any way we can, he said with all the confidence he could muster.
Emre nodded as he put his arm around Mevkibe and Leyla.
Can is right. We will get through this together. You're not alone in this fight, he said softly.
Sanem looked into the face of this man who she loved with everything in her and thanked him with her eyes. Can put his big warm hand on her cheek and nodded, letting her know that he was there no matter what.
Emre rubbed Leyla's back gently, making her cry at the knowledge that he too was making his presence known.
Thank you, Can. Emre. You are both a part of our family so you're right. We will fight this with everything we have, Mevkibe said, taking a big inhale in.
That's right, anne. If love could cure this, baba would already be well, Sanem said with a sad smile, kissing her mother on the cheek and holding Leyla's hand.
Emre knew that Can wouldn't leave unless he knew Sanem would be alright without him and talked him into heading out so they could get some rest.
Sanem walked him out to the door, holding his hand with a tight grip.
Askim, I am here. Day or night. I will park outside this house and sleep in my truck if you need me to. I don't want to be in the way but I want you to know I'm near. You don't have to be afraid, he whispered as he kissed the top of head when he held her.
Thank you, Can. I know that. I don't know what will happen next but I know that with everything in me. Nothing can take you away from me. Ever, she said back, already feeling the physical and emotional fatigue taking hold. It had been a long day.
Kissing her gently on the lips, he said, Get some rest, canim. I will call and check on you in the morning. And give your dad a hug for me. Tell him I'll see him when he's up to it.
I will, Can. I love you. I love you so much, she said as she hugged him once more.
Emre had said his goodbyes but waited for Can near his car before taking off.
When Sanem closed the door, Can saw Emre and said, Thanks for waiting, abi. I don't know what to say or how to fix this. I hate to see them hurting.
I know, Can. I know. There are some things you just can't fix. But just like you said. We will all fight and do what we can, Emre answered, hugging his brother goodbye.
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The next morning, Nehat awakened to the sight of Sanem and Leyla resting in chairs nearby and he chuckled. He knew his girls wouldn't wait until he got out of bed.
His smile faltered as he thought about them. If this was stage 4 and he had little time left, he would spend it making sure they were taken care of and knew what they meant to him. They said it all the time but he wanted to leave them no doubt of his unconditional love for them.
Watching them sleep, he felt like he did when they were little girls. Sanem covered in mud, babbling about this and that. Leyla dressed up and ready to conquer the world. Where had the years gone? They were still like his little girls no matter how old they became.
He wanted nothing more in that moment but to hold them in his arms and promise them that everything was going to be alright. That they were going to be alright.
Looking over at his beautiful wife sleeping next to him, he smiled when he remembered how he felt when she chose him over all the other young men that were vying for her attention. How had he gotten so lucky?
They had just made amends, both asking forgiveness of the other. So many wasted years. And if he only had a short amount of time left in this world, he would make sure she knew every moment of the day that she was loved and cherished.
There was so much to make up for. So much lost time.
Time..something it would seem he may not have much of now. He had felt like something was wrong but he couldn't put his finger on it. It was so easy to justify the fatigue and ongoing issues with his stomach. His job was stressful and made worse by the ongoing overwhelming feeling of being less than in the eyes of his father-in-law.
Fire burned in his eyes when he thought of leaving this world soon and his three girls having no one to protect them from that evil man.
Something broke inside him in that moment.
I won't let him win. I won't give up. I will fight to live to make sure my family is guarded from his poison, he thought.
Baba...
He turned to see Sanem slowly sitting up and blinking as she looked at him.
Holding his arms out, she ran into them and immediately started crying, which woke up her mother and sister.
Opening them wider to accommodate Leyla and Mevkibe, he said, I know, canim. I know we're all scared and worried from this news. But I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere any time soon! I will find a way. I promise you that.
They all wept and spoke softly, saying the words that they all needed to hear. Promises to fight, to hold on to each other, to be there for one another.
I emailed the director of the program in Paris and withdrew my application so they could make room for someone else, Sanem said with a determined tone in her voice.
Sanem! You shouldn't have done that! Mevkibe said.
Anne, do you think there's any way I could be thousands of miles from you while you face this? Did we not just say we would fight..together? she asked.
After a few more tense conversations, it was accepted that Sanem would stay in Istanbul until Nehat recovered. Leyla would cut down her working hours as much as possible and Sanem would only go in when absolutely necessary since her replacement was being decided on that week.
Leyla had some meetings that she couldn't reschedule and had to leave after breakfast but promised to be home soon. They would all go together to the oncologist appointment the next day.
Sanem watched as her father tried to eat but could see that he was forcing himself. He looked so tired and mentioned it to her mother who agreed.
Canim, why don't you go and take a walk while baba sleeps? Get some fresh air, Mevkibe said, patting her arm.
But I can stay and help you, anne. You're tired too, she answered.
I am. That's why I'm going to lay down with him. It's been a lot to process. Go! I will call you if I need you, I promise, she prompted and watched as Sanem finally conceded.
I will have my phone, then. I'll take a walk by the coast, Sanem said as he watched her mom head to her bedroom.
Driving to her favorite spot, she walked over the huge rocks and found a place to sit down.
What will I do if baba doesn't make it through this? she thought as tears started to flow. She had held them back all day, trying to be strong and brave. That's what her parents needed from her right now.
She felt so helpless. She had always been the flighty one that everyone took care of. Living in Paris on her own had made her stronger and less dependent on others. She loved that she had finally found her life's work, the thing that made her passionate. Fighting to get into that program and get a scholarship had cost her a lot of things but it was worth it.
As she looked over the Bosphorus, she remembered how much she loved this city. She had missed it so much while she was away. Holding her arms to her chest, she thought about the email from the entrepreneurial program administrator. He had been disappointed but understood why she was letting her scholarship go. He told her that he try to hold her spot open for as long as he could because he believed that she had what it would take to be successful. Worst case scenario, she would have to wait until the next one began and he would do what he could to keep her scholarship open.
Taking a deep inhale, she pondered how much had happened in such a short amount of time. Being home with her family again, helping at the office, meeting Can and his family.
Just then she heard something behind her and turned to see what the noise was.
Seeing Can standing there, a ways away, just watching over her filled her heart with joy.
Can? she said as she got up.
He held his arms open wide as she let the tears flow again. This man. This man held her heart like no other.
She walked quickly but carefully over the rocks, straight into them, making him step back momentarily to absorb the shock of her sudden connection.
I stopped by the house to check on you and see your dad. But I saw you leaving so I followed you to make sure you were alright. I knew you'd be here anyway even if I hadn't seen you leave, he whispered as he kissed the top of her head and then her temple.
I can't lose him, Can, she sobbed out.
I know, askim. I know. I can't imagine the fear you feel right now and it's killing me that I can't take that from, he said, fighting back his own tears.
What do you need, Sanem? Give me a task and I'll do it. Please, he pleaded.
This. Right now. Just hold me, Can, she answered as she clung to him like he would leave if she didn't.
I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere, Sanem. I will be here every second if you want me to, he promised, kissing her cheek. How was your dad this morning?
Pulling away to look up at him, she answered, He woke up strong. Saying he wasn't going to let this take him. That he would fight with everything in him.
Can was nodding his head, knowing that sounded like Nehat. The little he knew of him made him understand that this man had endured a lot but was resilient.
Just as I said he would, right? Your father is a strong man, Sanem. He will keep that promise to fight, he answered.
Can, I emailed the director of the program and told them what was going on. I've stepped down from the program, she said, watching for his reaction.
Sanem, I can't say that I blame you. I would do the same if I were in your shoes right now but I want to say how very sorry I am that you've had to let that opportunity go temporarily. I know once your dad pulls through this, you'll have another chance to make that happen, he answered, hoping his words helped.
How are you feeling about that? he asked, as he helped her sit down.
There's a sense of loss, of course, but you're right. I will have my chance to go through it again at a later time. Paris isn't going anywhere, she joked, falling into his embrace as they sat side by side.
The director was disappointed but knew that I was making the right decision. He surprised me with his words of affirmation about my talent. He said he would keep the spot open as long as he could, just in case something changed but if I needed to wait until it was offered again, he would do everything he could to reinstate my scholarship, Sanem continued, as Can tucked a strand of hair behind her ears.
She loved when he did that. Ever since that first time when they were having dinner in Agva, it was a tiny gesture that made her feel cherished.
That's wonderful to hear, canim. I know that you fulfill every dream you have. I'll make sure of it, Can said with conviction in his voice.
Thank you, bebek, she said softly as his eyebrows went up.
What? Don't you like that? she asked with a shy smile.
I do. Very, very, very much, Can answered in that low voice.
How were things in the office today? Sanem asked as they talked about their day.
Cey Cey was in a great mood and brought coffee for everyone. Seems like things are going well for he and Ayhan? Can said with a chuckle.
Yes, when I spoke to her for a few minutes last night to tell her about baba, she filled me in some, Sanem answered.
And it would seem that Leyla and Emre were together last night when anne called her, she said with a smile.
It would seem so. We didn't talk much last night. I wanted to call my parents if you're alright with that. Let them know what's going on? he asked, his head tilted.
Yes, please do. They all got along so well at the Ball and baba will need all the friends he can get. It's sad that he doesn't have many of them. He never fit in at the country club nor Grandfather's cronies obviously. And it's hard to have that kind of relationship when he's someone in authority at work. I always wanted that for him, she said as she looked over the water.
Well, he has one in my parents because they loved them. So much. They love all of you, Can answered, taking her hand in his.
Sanem loved the warmth that his hand, his presence brought to her life. Looking up at him by her side, she knew she was not alone and smiled.
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Leyla had filled Deren in on everything when she got to work that morning and they made a game plan for the next month, agreeing to get together to do that for as long as they could. Emre was such a great asset for them but he couldn't make decisions of authority. So much would fall to Deren but she would do anything for Nehat and his family and assured Leyla that it would be fine. She would finalize the hiring process for Sanem's replacement.
Baris walked into the office after a several day absence and noticed the somber mood right away. Leyla had not gotten into too much detail with the staff but they knew something was wrong when she announced that her father would be taking more time off. She hadn't bothered calling her grandparents because she felt that they wouldn't care anyway.
Deren, could you please come to my office? Baris said when he called her.
When she knocked a few minutes later, he motioned for her to come in.
Is everything alright, Deren? he asked, wondering what was being kept from him.
Why do you ask, Mr. Furkan? she answered, her expression unreadable.
Well, Sanem isn't here and neither is Nehat. Leyla has been on the phone for over an hour so I couldn't talk to her. And the staff seems pretty somber. Did we lose an account? he asked, trying to understand what was happening.
I was only told what I needed to know from the business standpoint mostly. But Sanem and Nehat are at home today. It isn't my place to say anything else, Mr. Furkan. I think you need to call them yourself. They are, after all, your family, she answered, not wanting to divulge more than was necessary.
But I'm asking you, Deren. You obviously know something but you seem unwilling to tell me. Besides, I'm not sure...I'm not sure if Sanem will answer my call, he said carefully.
And why exactly do you think that is, Mr. Furkan? she asked as she held his intense gaze, relishing in the shocked look.
I'm sorry, please excuse me, sir. I need to take this, she said, showing him her phone as she said "hello" and walked out of his office.
He had no idea what had gotten into Deren but he would get to the bottom of it.
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The next morning the Aydin family drove in silence to the oncologist's appointment. Nothing could lift the heavy feeling of dread that had hovered over them that morning. This appointment, no doubt, would change their lives.
When the nurse called them back to speak to the doctor, he introduced himself to them all.
I'm glad you've brought your family with you, Mr. Aydin. It will be important to have a strong support system in place as we walk through this, Dr. Aderack said with a smile.
I like that you said "we", Dr. Aderack, Mevkibe said.
Nodding, he answered, It will definitely be "we". My staff and I will be here for you and your family every step of the way, he assured them.
Turning to his computer, he showed them on the screen the results from the MRI and other tests that had been done.
The mass is significant but until we can do the biopsy, we won't know which stage it's in, as I told you on the phone. So, I pulled some strings and got you an appointment in the morning, Mr. Aydin, he said.
That's wonderful, doctor! Sanem said excitedly.
Leyla asked, After the biopsy is done, how long before we know the results and then after that how will you know how to proceed? How much success rate does chemotherapy have on this type of mass?
Smiling, he answered, I know you have a lot of questions and I will answer them all but we will have to take it one step at a time. Tomorrow is our first big step. It should be back in a few days but I've put a rush on that as well. Let's get your father home and well rested for the surgery tomorrow. The nurse will come in next and go over all the instructions for you. Just follow them closely and I will see you at the hospital first thing tomorrow, he said confidently.
They all thanked him. As he went to leave, he tapped Nehat on the back and said, You have a lot of people here that love you. That's worth more than any medicine.
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As Nehat was wheeled into surgery for the biopsy the next morning, he kissed Mevkibe and his girls and told them not to worry.
Once home, Sanem and Leyla took their tea to the backyard while their parents laid down to rest again. Everything had gone as planned at the hospital. All they could do now was wait.
How are you feeling about all of this, abla? Sanem asked as she put her cup down on the table.
Shaking her head, Leyla answered, I don't know. I don't know how to feel. One moment I feel strong like he can fight this and be well and the other I'm worried about losing him.
It's the same with me. I want to be strong but most days I feel like crawling into his lap like I did as a little girl. It's real, abla. There's a real possibility that we can lose him, Sanem answered, wiping fresh tears.
I'm scared too. I wanted to ask you. Have you told Grandfather or Grandmother yet? Leyla asked as she held Sanem's hand.
No, we haven't spoken but a few words since the Charity Ball. And I'm fine with that. They called once..once when he was first sick. And never came by that I know of, Sanem said loudly.
I haven't told them either. But Deren sent me a text to let me know that he asked her about you and baba's absence. Said he noticed that the staff was somber, as he put it, she said as Sanem sat up in her chair.
Pfft, I doubt that. That man has the emotional intelligence of a gnat! I have no problem if you decide to tell them but I won't. I think it would hurt less for anne if she thinks they don't know as opposed to telling her that they do, and the same thing happening as before, Sanem snarked.
I agree. We won't say anything unless it becomes necessary. I'll just tell him that baba started to feel bad again and that you were leaving for Paris this week anyway. I guess you don't want me to tell them that you're staying either, Leyla answered.
No, they don't need to know anything about my life, Sanem answered with a scowl.
________________
Vera had decided it was time to find a way to mend her relationship with her granddaughters. She had stayed away from the office for long enough. Neither the girls or Mevkibe would answer her calls so she decided to see if they would talk to her face to face.
Walking into Fikri Harika, Vera waved away the new receptionist saying she owned the place and walked upstairs to find Sanem.
When she wasn't at her desk, she went to Leyla's office but only found the Divit brother there. He stood up when he saw her and asked if he could help her with anything.
Do you know where Sanem and Leyla are? It's too early for lunch, she said as she looked at her watch.
Ah, they aren't in today. I don't know where they are but you can try...he said but was cut off.
Never mind. I'll find them myself, she scoffed as she walked out, rolling her eyes.
Emre sat down slowly, inhaling and trying not to lose it on the woman. He was pretty sure she called him "useless" as she walked out.
She knew that Baris was in a meeting downtown so she turned to leave when she heard some of the staff talking at the snack counter.
It is, isn't it? I feel so bad for him. He must be really sick if he needed to take another leave of absence. I saw Leyla crying in her office, the woman from the graphics department said to another co-worker.
Leaning to the side, Vera realized that she hadn't even checked to see if Nehat was there. That must be who they were talking about.
Standing there, she tried figure out how she could find out what was going on.
Turning back towards the stairs again, she left with an idea. Theo owed her a huge favor. It was time to pay up.
Picking up her cell phone as she sat back in her town car, she called a familiar number.
Good afternoon, Helga. This is Vera Furkan. I'd like to speak to your boss please. It's very important, she said in her most authoritative voice.
Hmm. Not until tomorrow, you say. No, no I understand. You can't disturb him at the medical conference. That's fine. Please tell him to call me as soon as he's back in town. Thank you, she said as she hung up.
_________________
The next afternoon, Mevkibe's phone rang and when she saw that it was the oncologist's office, she went to the bedroom where Sanem and Nehat were playing a card game.
Hold on, please. Let me get the rest of the family in here, she said as she hurried to the bedroom.
Mouthing the words "doctor's office" to them, she put it on speaker and said that they were all there.
Mr. and Mrs. Aydin, I would have you come in but that would have taken longer. I asked for a rush on the results of the biopsy and it just came in. First, let me say that it wasn't what we wanted to hear, honestly, he said with a somber tone.
Sanem closed her eyes, trying to prepare her heart for what was coming.
Nehat took Mevkibe by the hand, nodding that it would be alright.
It's a rare type of cancer. There have only been about a 3000 cases of this kind of cancer diagnosed over the years. So the bad news is that it's stage 4, he continued, listening to the gasps and quiet sniffling coming from the other side of the phone.
But, wait, the good news is that it's contained and has not metastasized. This is really good news in light of what I just told you. I won't sugar coat this. This will be a difficult road to walk. We can do chemotherapy but it won't be enough, he went on.
Doctor, can't you just remove it with surgery? Sanem asked, wiping the tears.
No, it wouldn't be a good idea to do that with his health history. But we have seen good results from an experimental drug trial with similar cancers in the past few years. Once in particular has seen a few people even go into remission, which is a miracle, he explained.
Can you get us into this drug trial right away? Mevkibe asked, her hope increasing.
I can but I have to tell you that it is extremely costly, he answered, not wanting to destroy their hope.
W-what are we talking about, doctor? Financially, Sanem asked, her mind reeling with possibilities.
The doctor took a long pause and said, You'd be looking at about $20,000 a month. It is so specialized that unfortunately the maker of the drug can charge whatever they like. I can look into some grants or donors willing to help but I'm not sure it would be enough to cover it.
Nehat dipped his head and said, I wouldn't want to take from other less fortunate people than myself by doing that, doctor.
Nehat! You're the only one I'm worried about right now! Mevkibe exclaimed loudly.
Watching him shake his head, she said with a new found courage, Then we will sell the house. We can move to an apartment. Doctor, sign us up for the trial. We will find the money.
Mevkibe, we can't do that. I need to have a place for you to live. What if something happens to me? This house is all you will have besides my life insurance policy. I won't do that to you, askim! he said desperately.
She went to answer him but the doctor interrupted.
Mr. and Mrs. Aydin, wait, wait now. Let's not get yourselves stressed about this decision because it's a moot point, he said trying to talk over them.
What do you mean? Sanem asked, her brows furrowed.
I mean..I mean that there just isn't time. Mr. Aydin, you will need to start this right away. As soon as possible for it to be even remotely successful. I'm sorry. I wish I could buy you some time but with the size of the tumor, we have to act quickly.
Now like I said, I will, with your permission, start looking for some help for you. For now, I need you to do what you've been doing. Rest, avoid stress, eat properly. I'll have the nurse send over some medicine that you'll need to start right away and I will keep you updated on the trial and donations. I'll talk to you soon, he said as he wished them a good day.
When Leyla walked in a few minutes later after her last meeting of the day, she asked, What? What happened? Neither of them were speaking and they looked like they were in a state of shock.
Please! Sanem, tell me what happened! she asked again, her voice raised.
Looking at her mother about to shed more tears, she got up, kissed her father on the forehead and led her sister into the living room.
Sanem filled her in on what the doctor had said, watching her sister go into what Sanem called her "take charge" mood.
Ok, let me think. I'll sell my car. Anna and baba can move in with me. I will cash in my 401K from the business. That could get us enough for maybe a month or two, she said, her mind filled with numbers.
Nehat walked in just as she was speaking and sat next to her.
Leyla, my beautiful girl. I will not allow you to do any of that. Not on something that we're not even sure will cure me. I won't see you give up what you've worked so hard for. When I leave this world, whether it's from this or something much later on, I need to know that you and Sanem and anne are going to be taken care of. Do you understand me? I would fail you horribly as a father to know that I've left you in this condition. And that goes for my 401K as well, That is for anne, he said quietly but firmly.
But baba, I can't sit by and pass up an opportunity to possibly provide you with a cure, she protested vehemently.
I understand that. But, Leyla, let's face reality. I have no idea what the future holds with your grandparents being at odds with us all right now. I need to know that you will be able to take care of yourself and anne and Sanem if anything happens to me, he said, trying to get her to understand.
Shaking her head, Leyla answered. I can't sit by and let you just, what, baba? Deteriorate before my eyes when I could have done something to help?
No, but I want you to think about the future. You're a very smart and savvy woman, Leyla dear. If I don't make it through this, I will need you as my oldest to be there for our family, he explained.
Sanem said, I feel so helpless, baba. We all do. I can sell my moto but it won't help with that kind of a bill.
Sanem, I don't want either of you to do any of those things. We will start the chemotherapy and do everything the doctor tells us to do. Everything. And we will fight without the drug trial. I will need you, both of you, to help me be strong for anne. Can you do that for me? he asked, his eyes filling with tears.
They both launched into his arms saying they would do everything he asked.
Mevkibe walked into the living room and her heart broke as she watched her little family. She had heard everything. But she couldn't stand by and do nothing. Nehat would forbid her to try to sell the house, which she couldn't do without his authorization since he was on the mortgage.
But she knew who would have the means to help them. She had no idea what this would cost her but she would do anything to see that he got the care he needed. She shivered at the thought of what she would be inviting into their lives again but she had to do something.
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Author's Note:
So many emotions in this chapter! What are your thoughts?
I've realized the last few days I've been MIA in the comments. Please forgive me. I'll try to catch up soon but know that I read them all and love them so much. It's been a crazy busy week and I've been writing furiously in my spare time.
After this I have 3 more chapters close to being done. Some are pretty climatic so I want to write the chapters that follow those soon so I don't leave you hanging for too long which means some long nights of writing and less time in the comments.
But as soon as I catch up, I'll meet you back there! Promise! Muah!
Today's chapter is dedicated to:
Debbookme
Mollyhawkins2
TomFerrell
Linda8845
Thanks for the love!