Hello and welcome back. I am not dead. To be honest I don't know what I am doing here. This chapter is odd, but I guess it's nice to read anyway. So, I will just use this as a little announcement here. I am still writing all my books that I haven't ended just yet. It just takes time, because it's a lot of work and especially because another fandom took hold of me.
Just an information for me, would anyone of you like a Top Gun story? I might be writing one right now, but I'm not sure if I should share it.
So, no more distractions and straight to the new chapter.
Cheers!
<><><>
"Jules' daughter?" Max echoed while his fiancé nodded.
Joanna could see one emotion morphing into another on Max's face before he climbed out of the bed, starting to pace up and down the room, before he stopped at the foot of their bed, about to say something, to give a statement or rather his opinion to what Joanna had just told him, but then he shook his head and reassumed pacing the room. The Austrian let him, she remembered only too well her own reaction to the news.
"Well then, I need a drink." Max then told her his arms thrown into the air for a moment, before he gestured for her to come along, which the Austrian considered for a moment, before she pulled the blanket back and climbed out of bed. Reaching for Max's old Red Bull sweat jacket to pull it over her body, before following him dutifully.
"Max." Joanna called softly as she followed him down the corridor which led into their living room, not to wake Henry as they passed his nursery, unsure what was going on in the Dutchman's head, but it seemed like Max didn't know either. Still, Joanna would have preferred to be able to guess if the news were received positive or rather negatively.
"I ... this." Max muttered under his breath while he was pouring himself a drink and before throwing it back quickly and wincing at the taste, which had Joanna raise an eyebrow.
"Max." She protested, but he held up his hand, a gesture for her to give him a moment, before pouring himself another glass full of liquid and flopping down on the couch with a heavy sigh.
"Sometimes I wonder what you're thinking when you keep something like that from me." He admitted after a long moment in which he kept starring at the bronze liquid in his glass, before facing Joanna.
"If you secretly enjoy betraying me, going behind my back. Are you testing how long it will take me to finally be done with the shit you always pull?" He wondered, out loud, before taking a big sip, while Joanna stood by the loveseat, her arms crossed over her chest for warmth, her eyes jumping from Max to search the room for something that would give her an idea what to say now. She didn't want a fight, telling him was meant to prevent a fight in the future, that was the whole fucking idea behind it, but what she might have not considered thoughtfully was that Max would give her a fight right now for it all.
The Austrian exhaled slowly, looking off towards the TV where a framed picture of the two of them was now joined by a new one. The first pictures they ever took of their baby boy. Joanna was smiling down at Henry, who was resting in her arms. Max only having eyes for their newborn as well. It was a cute picture.
For a moment, she thought about using it, about bringing Henry into the game and setting Max checkmate but going such lengths just to gloss over that she had told Max something, she now in retrospect never wanted him to learn was one too far. Even for her. She should have just written a letter and put it into her will or something. It would have been the quieter solution to this issue. Max would still be angry, but at least she would be too dead to hear it.
"I didn't betray you." Joanna told Max, as she moved to sit down on the couch next to him. Not ready to apologise for giving a child a life when no one else was left to do so, but then Max huffed, which caused anger to boil in Joanna's veins. How dare he. Reaching out, Joanna grasped his jaw and forced him to look at her.
"I didn't even know you back then. Don't make everything about yourself." She warned him, before letting go of his jaw again, with a little push maybe. Not that it was intended, but it did happen, nevertheless and if Max's look was anything to have a guess by, he hadn't enjoyed it one bit. No he was fuming with barely concealed frustration which would turn into anger quickly if Joanna kept pushing his buttons.
Joanna had sat back, her back resting against the arm rest, one leg pulled up to her chest, the other flatly buried in the soft carpet while Max sat on the other side of the couch, his back against the backrest, his left leg thrown over his right, his ankle resting on his right thigh just over his knee while he held the crystal glass in his right hand, his long fingers around the rim. He was starring at the liquid as if he considered if this was worth a fight with their son sleeping down the corridor.
"Have you been dying to tell someone? To let someone know what a good person you are?" Max asked her, before emptying his glass and putting it on the coffee table in front of them. He was glancing at Joanna, challenging her to say something, to do anything at all, but there was a dangerous glimmer in Max's eyes which let Joanna pause from saying what she normally might have already thrown his way. Something told her that it was a warning not to overstep now, but Joanna never cared much for warnings in the first place.
"Where is the girl?" Max asked her, only for Joanna to realise what that fool had been considering since the moment he heard that there was an orphan out there. Joanna, hurt by his plan, wanted to mock him. To ask him what he was doing hording strangers children like a creep, but she bit her tongue. Denying him to know her whereabouts would end badly enough as it was.
"You won't need to know, because she stays where she is. We won't welcome every stray dog into our family." Joanna warned him, which caused Max to look over at her for a brief moment. The were starting right at each other. She knew that what he was about to say would hurt, even before he had let her hear it. Joanna had seen it in his expression. She knew her own fiancé well enough to know when he intended to harm.
"That's rich coming from a stray dog." He let her know, only for Joanna's expression to change to one of hurt. She had been prepared for a lot of things. But not this. She wasn't expecting Max to ever say something like that. But her hurt morphed into anger quickly. Anger she threw at him mercilessly, coloured in frustration and mockery.
"Well, that stray dog overthrew every legitimate heir and got the big prize. All the money, and the fucking house you live in, princess, so shut up." She warned him, causing Max's gaze to snap towards her.
Only to then reach for her ankle, his fingers closing around it, before turning his body to kneel on the couch and pulling strongly, until Joanna was laying on the couch before him, her hands coming up to prop her up, but Max was quick to lean over her, his left arm coming around her shoulder, before reaching for the back of her neck.
They were both so cruel if they wanted to be. The knife right between their teeth. Sharp silver tongues. Training to hurt and injure. To cut deep and make it last.
"Don't fucking call me that." Max warned, as they pushed and pulled at each other.
"What are you doing?" Joanna snapped at him, pushing her hands against his chest and as she realised that wasn't working, she pushed one of her hands into his face like siblings fighting over some shit would do, but other than what normal people would have done Max didn't try to pry her hand from his face, he moved his upper body to lose her hand in his face, causing them to tumbled down onto the carpet. Right into the narrow foot space between the coffee table and the couch.
"For fucks sake." Max cursed, while Joanna tried to free herself from under her fiancé. Giving up soon after, her hand coming up to push against the side of the coffee table, to give them some more room to get back up to their feet, despite brawling like little children, but then she felt Max's fingers hooking around the waistband of her sleeping shorts and she thought, oh well, that is as good as any solution to this situation. Not the grown up one, or a sane one, but fitting for them.
"At least push that fucking coffee table to the side. I can barely move here." Joanna hissed at him, as they went from pushing at each other to fumbling around to get out of their underwear while still being a mess of limbs on the ground.
"Don't tell me what to do." Max growled back, working on pulling his own underwear down, before leaning over Joanna only to then push the coffee table away with one arm. He was strong enough to move that bloody thing in their current situation, other than his soon-to-be wife, who could only weakly push at it and complain about it, needing Max to do the job as usually.
Watching Max for a moment in which he pushed the coffee table away, so they would have a bit more space for this insane scene, Joanna moved up and hooked her arm around his neck, pulling him back. So, his attention would be on her once more, as she was about to kiss him, but Max moved his head away, her lips just brushed his cheek, before tugging her arm from where it was resting around his neck and pressing it into the carpet. His fingers tightly around her wrist. Turning her head to look at where Max had wrapped his long fingers around her wrist for a moment, she looked back up at him. Hovering above her and fumbling around with his free hand, pushing her legs apart. But then he noticed her gaze on him, causing the Dutchman to move his hand up to force Joanna's head, his hand on her cheek, so she would have to look away from him, causing her to huff.
"You're so childish sometimes." She told Max, who did smirk, she was so sure of it, her face half pushed into the carpet, before he moved his head to rest against her collar bone, preventing her from turning her head back around, while he moved his other hand back downwards.
"Shut up." Max told her, the heat in his voice not from anger alone any longer.
Pushing in, a bit gentler than Joanna had expected him to be with how furious he was with her, the Austrian nearly choked on her own breath, causing her to throw her head back, while Max's other hand came up to pin her other wrist down as well, stopping her from touching him at all, which they both know she hated more than anything. She also hated the clothes between them. Max rarely wore a shirt to bed, but of course tonight, when it turned into this situation, he was wearing one. Just as she was wearing one of his shirts and the sweat jacket.
"Max." She gasped, while he not so gently bit her collar bone, before moving up the side of her neck, causing her to pull her legs up, hooking her ankles over each other right above his ass. She could really kick him for not leaving her any possibility to touch him.
Leaving his marks over the side of her throat, Max seemed happy enough with his marks, before he tried to move down the front of her chest, but the shirt got in the way, causing him to travel down to where hem of the shirt was pressed into Joanna's skin from Max's weight on top of her. Only for him to take the hem of her shit between his teeth and pulling it up, revealing her chest to him. Her chest that had grown in size a bit since she had had Henry, but what was way more fun was how sensitive she was now that she was breastfeeding their son.
"That's unfair." She muttered, but Max ignored her once more, only to capture one of her nipples between his lips, before letting his teeth out to play. Biting softer than before at her skin, sucking it into his mouth and leaving love bites all over her chest as if he was a rather dedicated artist.
It took barely much more to dip them both over the cliff, before Max decided to drop his entire weight on top of Joanna, rather than helping her ride out her high and not giving her a possibility to help herself to enjoy it longer either, due to his hands holding onto her wrists tightly, and with him pressing into her.
Ladies and gentlemen, soon-to-be Mister and Missus Verstappen. Parents to a little boy. And a fucking mess.
"Hope you're pleased enough now." Joanna muttered, pulling her wrists away, as Max's hold finally loosened, only to instantly start to push on his shoulder, to move him off her. She loved him, but he was so fucking heavy when he just dropped on top of her like that.
"Depends." Max said, after pulling out and turning so he was sitting on his ass with his knee bend and his back against the front of the couch, Joanna's calves resting in his lap. Her upper body propped up on her elbows, while she glanced at her soon-to-be husband, who had moved to massage her calf absentmindedly.
"On what?" She wondered, only for Max to title his head to look at her, a smirk blooming on his lips, but a dangerous one.
"Are you going to be a cunt again?" He wondered, only for Joanna's soft features to morph into a deep frown.
"Careful now." She warned him, but Max ignored her.
"Because if I have to fuck that attitude out of you, I'm here to help, baby." He added, as if Joanna would have never said anything at all in the first place, only for her frown to deepen.
"Take this seriously." Joanna warned him.
"If you are like that, I would advise you to keep that legs open for me." Max replied, his second hand wrapping around her other calf and pretending to pull her legs apart again, but the Austrian was quick to pull her legs from his lap, which he allowed, before climbing to her feet.
Joanna rolled her eyes, pulling the sweat jacket from her shoulders and throwing it at Max, as she rounded the coffee table from the other side to stalk off, down the corridor and back into their bedroom.
"Don't bother coming to bed tonight." She threw that comment into Max's general direction before she was down the corridor and, in their bedroom, only to take a quick shower and then get herself another pair of sleeping shorts, before climbing into bed alone.
"You're really serious?" Max wanted to know, after opening the door to their bedroom, only to lean against the doorframe while glancing at Joanna, who had just gotten into her side of their bed, the bedside table lamp still turned on.
"Yeah. I know, funny, because you aren't taking anything serious." Joanna replied, while wrestling her pillow down behind her back, before realising that it was off, because it was Max's and not hers. Huffing, she pulled the pillow out behind her back and put it down on Max's side, before finding her own pillow below.
"I just fucked you on our living room rug, how am I supposed to take that seriously." He was so smug sometimes. Cockier than what was ever good for him, and Joanna was really at a loss where that was coming from sometimes. It's not like she couldn't take it, or that Max had forced her to sleep with him when she didn't want at all, but something was off about him the last few weeks every now and again. Causing him to act harsher, to be less lovingly, maybe it was her doing after all.
"You can throw it out. I want a new one. Henry is so not playing on this one anymore." Joanna grumbled, before she turned over and switched the bedside table lamp off, leaving the room in completely darkness, until Max turned on the dimmed light they normally only used before going to bed or very early in the morning when it was still dark outside. To ease them into the morning.
Joanna could see how Max moved through the room, over to his side of the bed and she was about to bring on an entire storm if he thought he could just slip into bed with her when she had thrown him out, but the bed didn't dip. The only thing that happened after Max had sorted something out that was resting on his bedside table was a small plastic card hitting her on the stomach. For a moment she was confused about what just happened, but then realisation dawned on her, causing her to turn on the lights swiftly, before facing Max angrily.
"Are you kidding me? You didn't really just throw your credit card at me!" Joanna yelled, not caring if she was waking Henry up in that moment. Not when Max just treated her as if she was just some gold digger, just after his money. She could very well buy herself a new fucking rug for under her coffee table. A more comfortable one.
"Treat yourself to the rug of your dreams, baby." Max told her and Joanna was close to climb out of the bed, only to strangle him.
"What on earth is wrong with you today?" She wanted to know, yelled once more and Max fucking Verstappen had the audacity to fucking shrug. "You are an entirely different person since I told you about Jules's daughter."
"Tell me about her." Max demanded.
"No, I don't think I will." She hissed back, scrunching up her nose in that totally adorable way which she just did when she was furious or pretended to be. "If you haven't noticed, it's three in the morning."
Joanna pointed out and then she had a thought. "No." She uttered to herself while looking Max up and down, he wouldn't do it, he knew what it did to her, before she climbed out of the bed and moved over to him, starring him down, despite being a bit shorter.
"Hey, baby." Max said in greeting, teasing her. Making a mockery out of it. Something was so off with him, calling her baby as if that was a nickname, he used for her. He only ever called her J or a form of schat if he felt like going all fancy. This was just strange, and she feared she had an idea about what might be causing him to behave like that.
"Honestly, tell me. Have you taken something? Do I need to be worried?" She wondered, but Max just huffed.
"Don't be dense." The younger one told her, before titling her head up and pressing a kiss to her forehead, before he let go and left their bedroom. Joanna sat down on their bed confused, waited and listened in to hear if Max was leaving the apartment, but after fifteen minutes of waiting, she decided to get into bed. Not that she could sleep that night, but she hoped once morning came, Max would be more himself again.
She didn't know what it was just yet, but she knew something was definitely off. Joanna would have an eye on Max.
<><><>
"I know you are preparing for war." Mathias said as he was standing next to his little sister while he looked down at what she was working on, her laptop open while Mathias was gently rocking Henry in his arms, smiling down at the baby ever once in a while.
Still feeling slightly out of place in Joanna's office that once had belonged to their father. It's not like she changed much at all about the room at a whole, there was just a white rug hung up on one of the walls, where a painting had been before with a massive red wine stain, but upon asked about it, Joanna just told him that it was symbolic, that it meant something and that it was there to remind her of its meaning each and every day.
Mathias has wondered what a red wine stain on a white rug could mean, but he could never fully put his finger on the meaning. He had asked her if it was symbolic for something good, but maybe unfortunate, since the rung was ruined by the stain, but his little sister didn't look up as she muttered that that stain was meant to be a warning to herself, a reminder not to risk losing who she was. It was quiet poetically when he considered it. Mathias didn't think his sister had it in herself to be, actually. She never seemed like someone mussing over the meaning of words for long, or something that considered the deeper meaning of words spoken, of things done.
"I'm just not convinced of letting it come to that now." He pointed out, causing Joanna to fold her hands together before putting her chin on top of it. She looked tired, outright exhausted but her brother couldn't tell why.
Henry seemed content enough, Joanna hadn't said anything about him having a bad night and Adrian had been well enough this morning too, but something was weighing on Joanna's mind that kept her up at night. Mathias could see it in her eyes, there was something bothering her mightily.
And Max was missing.
As Matthias arrived this morning and was led into the dining room, there was no trace of the young father to be seen. The Dutchman normally never missed the opportunity to have breakfast with his little family, but Mathias simply guessed that he was out, attending to his responsibilities.
He really hoped it wasn't this stupid feud with the Piquet family. Sadly enough, they had so much more members than they had.
"Believe me, I could do without this exploding into our faces now too. Or ever." She told him, before getting up from her seat and stretching a bit, before smiling down at Henry in his arms. "I have other things on my mind than a war we seemed to have inherited."
"What else is on your mind?" Mathias wondered, before cooing at Henry, who pulled a funny face, being delighted enough by his uncle's tries to entertain him, but it was no secret that they boy would have preferred his parents.
"Forgive me, I shouldn't have asked." Mathias backtracked the moment he realised that Joanna won't answer his question which was her good right, but he was still her brother, he still worried about the things plaguing his sister's mind, because if he had learned one thing, then that the things on Joanna's mind would more often, sooner than later, become relevant for him too.
"It's Max." Joanna admitted then, her gaze on the garden still hulled in snow. "He's ... off. We are off with each other. It troubles me quite a bit actually." Mathias watched her for a moment before shrugging. He guessed that they were facing such big challenges all the time that maybe his sister was worried about nothing. Not everything had to turn into something big and ugly. Sometimes couples just have quarrels. It happens, it's natural.
"Maybe he's trying to hide a Christmas present? I tried that once, Claire thought I was having an affair and threatened to leave me if I don't tell her what it is." He told her, a smile on his face now, even though he hadn't found the whole ordeal funny at all as he was accused of cheating on his wife all these years ago.
"I don't think that's quiet it." Joanna replied, stuck in her own head, before she turned around and smiled at her brother softly, even though he knew that that smile was really for her son more than anyone else. Max maybe, if they were on good terms.
"I could try to talk to him, if you want. Form man to man." Mathias offered, which caused Joanna to look up from Henry, who she had just taken into her arms, rocking him softly, before glancing back at Mathias. It couldn't harm, she guessed, but she also was rather sure that the conversation wouldn't be welcome either. Max was so fucking stubborn sometimes.
"Or we're bringing Claire and Max together? She knows what it's like to be the spouse of a Lauda. She might be able to offer support." He then offered, which caused Joanna to nod softly. That could work, as long as Max was under the impression that they didn't try to set them up for this. The moment he figured that out, they would face real issues and she didn't want to get herself into even bigger problems right now.
"I plan on getting it out of the world, but if it's no use, maybe you and Claire could join us in a few days for dinner?" Joanna wondered, which caused her brother to smile and nod. He was happy to help, knowing damn well that his little sister's marriage would be the very thing that would hold everything together. The base and the fundament of their family's power. It had to work. They had to appear strong and united. Some complications before the wedding were normal. He just hoped whatever was causing their differences, it wouldn't be too gravely.
"Of course." Mathias agreed with a smile. "Is there something else I can be of any assistance with?" He wondered, which caused his sister to nod before handing him a folder.
"I made plans." She told him meaningful. "Would you make sure everything is in place should we need to go such lengths." Mathias nodded and told his sister that he would make sure of it, before bidding her a good day and a merry Christmas, which had Joanna smile at him slightly, saying her goodbye and wishing him a merry Christmas too.
Mathias was almost out of the door already, as he stopped and turned around to look back at his sister sitting in their father's office chair, holding her son in her arms. She was looking down at Henry, her fingers gently brushing over the long slope of his nose, which had the baby grab at her fingers.
"There is something else, actually." Mathias addressed, even though originally, he thought about not telling her, not at least until after Christmas, maybe he could have even left it unmentioned until the new year, but then again, Mathias new how much his sister hated to be left in the dark about things going on in her own house or company.
Joanna looked up, their eyes met, but Mathias had to advert his gaze for the following words, because he knew what they meant. He knew it the moment he saw who it was that was calling in the hope of reaching his little sister.
"Julian called." Mathias said and they both knew it was enough to have Joanna on guard in her own home, just in case. Bracing herself for the information to come, but there was a dangerous sparkle in her eyes, interest, to know why that man reached out to her, despite surely already having heard about her current absence and Mathias stepping in for the time being, managing almost the entire business the Laudas had. Even though people knew that Joanna was still the one with the strings in hand in the background. Mathias frequent visits to the Lauda House only further proof to that.
"He asked to meet you for dinner. I said that I would inform you of his request, but that you're on maternity leave and that I am to be addressed about business. He was insistent that he needed to see you." Mathias explained, letting his sister know all the details about his phone call with the older man.
"I think it was a private matter, Joanna. He didn't seem interested in doing any business." The older Lauda added, which had Joanna giving him a look at meant 'with you, Julian wasn't interested in doing any business with you, when it's so blankly clear that I am in charge here.'.
"It's always about business with Julian." Joanna warned Mathias, not to make a mistake and think for a single moment that the heir of the Porsche empire so to say, just wanted to catch up with her over dinner, that had never been Julian's style.
He watched as his sister lifted herself and her son out of the office chair, before changing her hold on Henry, who was watching his mother curiously, just as his uncle.
"What am I to answer?" Mathias wanted to know, which had Joanna title her head slightly, starring at the red wine stain on the rug hung up on her office wall for a moment, before a stray hand of her son found the collar of her shirt and pulled slightly, which had Joanna dedicate her attention back to Henry, where it should be. Joanna should have all the time in the world just to be with her son and watch him grow up, but they were Laudas, they had no such luxury despite all the material things they possessed.
"Tell him, I will think about it." Joanna told Mathias, which had the older Luada grimace. He had feared she would say that, he had feared she won't shut Julian Porsche's request down right away.
"As your adviser and substitute, can I speak freely?" He wondered, which had Joanna nod. She valued her older brother's opinion and the know-how he held as the one, who should have been the one inheriting the entire Lauda business. Mathias knew what he was doing, even though he was slightly less strong will that Joanna and their father was. It was uttermost important to her that he spoke freely, always. Even though she already knew she won't like what he had to say now.
"Meeting with Julian Porsche of all people in the current situation will look like a declaration of war towards the Piquets." Mathias pointed out and Joanna knew that, which is why she was so surprised by Julian's call in the first place.
"I agree and I know Julian knows that too, which is why I am intrigued." She admitted which had the frown on her brother's face grow larger.
"Joanna, I never wanted to pass any judgement onto your relationship. I promised myself I would never do that. I would never become my father, but your marriage as the Lauda heir is the foundation of our family's power. We as a family will fall or flourish with your marriage to Max Verstappen, because he is the one you picked. He is the father of your son, your heir. Bringing Julian back into the mix now ... to be honest when you already feel like there is a strain on your relationship with Max at the moment, then meeting Julian is outrageous foolish. In every way possible."
"Max doesn't know Julian. I never said a single word about him." Joanna told Mathias, which had her brother exhale slowly.
"That's even worse, Joanna." He thought about making her promise him that she won't have dinner with Julian, but it was her, who was in charge here.
She was the Lauda heir their father picked, and Mathias knew that he had picked her for a reason, but he also knew that other than him, Joanna didn't know how to run a business. She knew how to be an F1 driver, how to keep the council under control and how to work with the things she had gained by her own ambitions, but she was never taught how to be a businesswoman. Mathias on the other hand was taught to be a Lauda from the very beginning. He knew how to be a CEO for that was what he was meant to be. His little sister was barely guessing what might be right and he respected her for her natural instinct and her capability, but sometimes he just knew better and this situation, this mess, he was sure that he knew better than Joanna what they had to do now.
"Please, don't go to see him." Mathias asked Joanna, which caused her to swallow, before looking down at her son, then she did promise that she will agree to nothing just yet. She will think about it, and she will tell Mathias about her decision before making them final. That had her brother nodding. It was as good as a promise. It would leave him with an opportunity to stop Joanna from doing something foolish.
<><><>
"This is silly." Joanna expressed as they lay together in bed, a third person would have fit in between them, that night. "Can you please talk to me again. I had a right to be angry too, you know? You threw your fucking credit card at me, but I am trying to reach out to you. Please say something." Joanna pointed out, only to swallow as she didn't receive an answer despite knowing he was still awake. His breathing told her that. Sitting up in bed, Joanna leaned over Max and rested her hand against his cheek to force him to look at her.
"Do you want to leave me and don't know how to say it, is that it? Do you want to cancel the wedding?" She wondered, truly at a loss as to why Max wasn't responding to her attempts to make up at all.
"Don't be silly." Max told her and for a moment she wanted to be relieved that he had answered her, but his words were no reassurance at all.
"You haven't talked to me in five days. I have every right to be at a loss here." The older one pointed out, only for Max to shake his head slightly, losing her touch in the process.
"I just need more time." Max told her.
"Time for what?" Joanna wanted to know, totally at a loss.
"I'm not myself right now and I don't know why. I need to figure that out, without you." Max said, which caused Joanna to swallow thickly, her heart breaking into a million pieces. This was it, this was the final straw. She had lost Max for good.
"Do you want a break?" Joanna muttered.
"I don't know. No." Max admitted after a while, before lifting his arm for Joanna to settle down against his chest. "Come here." He told her and she did.
Nothing was alright and they both knew that, but Joanna won't refuse the touch Max offered her right now, because she feared it might be the last time she would ever lay in his arms.
<><><>
The thing about loving Max Verstappen was that fighting with him was fucking painful. It was pure agony. Neither of them took any prisoners when pissed off and in this time, this time, it showed.
Sitting opposite him during the meals spend in absolute silents, no conversation between them as long as it wasn't about Henry, or the household was threatened to cause Joanna to go mad. Max had been angry with her before, he had been upset about things she had done before, it was normal, such things tend to happen in relationships, many times even but this time was different.
In the past at some point, he would break. He would end their suffering, unable to stand the silence between them for a single moment longer and just talk to her again, but not this time. He simply ignored Joanna as she tried to address Jules' daughter again. And her request of him joining her in their bed again was just acknowledged but not spoken about. Getting ready for bed that night, Joanna expected to spend the night alone again, only for Max to enter their bedroom already changed a while later. He got into his side of the bed and promptly pretended to be asleep, while Joanna kept starring at the ceiling with the void between them growing, but as the physical separation of their bodies.
"I'm leaving for a few days." Max announced during breakfast, which caused Joanna to drop the cup of coffee she was holding, only for David to rush over to clean it up, but right in that moment, the Austrian couldn't care less about the expensive wooden floor. She dropped a napkin over the puddle of coffee on the ground and rested her shaking hand against David's shoulder to stop his attempts of cleaning it up.
"Would you please give us a moment." Joanna said to David, who looked at her with wide eyes for a moment, because there was still coffee soaking into the floor, but the expression on her face told him that they all had to go, right now, which is why he nodded and told them just to ring for him, should they need something.
Max had been watching Joanna's expression the entire time, only to look at David as he was thanking him shortly, then his eyes were back on Joanna, who fumbled with her fork for a moment, before looking up to meet Max's gaze.
"I haven't said I'm leaving you. I just think that a few days of separation might do us good. We're walking on eggshells around each other, and I am tired of it." Max told her, before he folded his newspaper. The newspaper he had made fun of Joanna for reading in the print format and now he got twitchy when he didn't have the newspaper ready by his breakfast.
"I understand." She told him, her voice only slightly wary but Max saw right through it. She tried not to cry, and it hurt him to see her like this.
"Do you have any idea when you will be back?" Joanna asked carefully, before swallowing as if that would keep her heart from breaking. She finally did it. Max finally had enough of her. She finally lost him for good.
"Not yet. Before Christmas though. I'm not missing Henry's first Christmas." Max told her which had her nodding. That wasn't a date perse, but it was giving her a timeframe, which was better than nothing.
"Understandable." Joanna agreed slowly, her voice unsteady, while Max rolled his eyes and got up from his chair on the opposite side of the table.
"Can you quit being so fucking polite out of nowhere?" Max asked of her which had Joanna snort.
"What do you want me to do? Scream and cry because you're leaving me, because you can't stand to be with me any longer. Please, leave me with that last bit of dignity I still have left." Joanna was still seated, her phone laying next to her, display facing upwards as Max moved over to stand next to her and look down at Joanna.
"I'm just spending a few days with Lando and Daniel in Monaco." He said, which had Joanna look at his clear blue eyes. The eyes of the man she loved. The eyes of the man she loved and that was fucking lying straight to her face without showing any remorse or any other indication that he was lying right in that moment. Maybe he had learned something from her after all, only that she was a terrible liar when faced with him. Joanna couldn't lie to Max, never quite managed. He on the other hand, she would blindly believe him, if she wouldn't know for a fact that he was lying.
"Daniel is in Oz and Lando is surely with his family in the UK. If you lie to me, do us both a favour and get better at it." He was fucking great at it, but Joanna won't tell him that. She just raised her phone and showed Max that she got the confirmation for a take off of their jet too.
"What do you want to hear?" Max asked her and she just wanted to cry. She wanted to cry and she wanted him to hold her and tell her all those sweet little lies, that he still loved her, that he won't leave her, that this hasn't finally broken them apart.
"Nothing. I want to hear nothing." Joanna told Max weakly, before she pushed her chair back and moved to leave the dinning room. Henry must be waking up from his nap soon and she could really need a few cuddles right now.
"So what?" Max asked as he got hold of her wrist to stop her. "You will just let it go. I'm leaving for however long to a place unknown to you and you don't want to hear anything more." Max wasn't flying private with their jet for that long yet, but he must have known that she didn't only receive the confirmation for the flight, but also all the details which contained the destination, which wasn't Monaco.
"I'm just asking you to be discreet about seeing your mistress in Brazil. Oh, and give the media a call, before you sleep with her, best way if they hear about it from you and not her." Joanna told him, but she wasn't angry, she was just so fucking devastated. She never thought that he would do such a thing to her, that he would leave her for Kelly.
"That's unfair and you know it." Max pointed out but she felt that there was nothing she could do which would ultimately be unfair to him right now.
"Then fucking tell me why our jet is taking you to Brazil, you liar!" Joanna yelled at him, as she turned around and pushed her flat hands against his chest, which caused Max to catch them and hold them in place there as he watched Joanna cry.
"Are you leaving to see Kelly?" She wondered out loud and Max didn't answer for a long moment. She guessed he was considering if lying to her once more would change anything. In the end, he decided to tell her the truth.
"Yes." The Dutchman admitted, which had Joanna close her eyes painfully for a moment, before she let her hands slip from his chest and opened them again. She reached for her engagement ring and pulled it form her finger, before pressing her hand against his chest again, her ring between them.
"Then take this with you, will you." She said, which had Max cradle her hand from below, so as she pulled her hand away, her ring fell into the palm of his hand, looking so tiny compared to when it was on Joanna's ring finger where it belonged.
"Joanna. Don't do this." Max said and it almost sound like a warning to not hurt them like that, but he was the one hurting them. He was the one that was leaving to be with someone else and Joanna honestly couldn't keep wearing her ring if he did this now and she also won't be able to marry him.
"It's not what you think it is. I never slept with anyone but with you. Can you honestly say the same?" Max pointed out, while reaching for her hand in an attempt to put her ring back in place where it belonged, but Joanna pulled her hand away.
"That was never the benchmark between us." She reminded him. Joanna would have never hit that mark, she had been pregnant before she had first been with Max and she certainly was no mother marry.
"I don't want you here for Christmas if you leave to see her. Call me when you're done with whatever you have in mind and we will schedule days for you to see Henry. I will make sure to call everyone about the wedding." Joanna told him, the tone of the conversation so final, so exhausted and hurt.
"Will you stop?" Max asked her, but Joanna didn't know what he wanted her to stop. Stop leaving him in return to how he had just left her? She had ever right to do that. She had ever right to give back the ring and call off the wedding if he flew to Brazil to see Kelly Piquet of all people.
"Okay, yes. I am seeing Kelly. I am flying to Brazil put not to be with her, but to talk to her." Max said, which nearly had Joanna laugh in despair.
"Talk to her, right. About how many children she will give you?" She wondered out loud and she knew that was below the line and playing dirty and all that, but in that moment, she didn't care about how it would make him feel. In that moment, she was just in pain and wanted it to stop. She had never been left before, but she had had separations before which all have hurt, but not a single one came even close to this.
"That's a low blow." Max let her know, what Joanna was already aware of.
"Is it? I guess you must know." She returned. "Make sure you say goodbye to your son before you leave. He might not see you in a while. Brazil is far away after all." With that she left and what hurt even more was that Max let her go as if he had never loved her in the first place.
<><><>
Henry wasn't settling, it was a fucking nightmare. Joanna had tried everything. She checked his diapers, tried to feed him. He had no fever, and he also didn't teeth, which was a wild guess with him being a month old, but she was running out of ideas. The Austrian was at such a loss, she had even handed Henry over to Emma in the hope she might be able to help, but twenty agonising minutes later, he was back in her own arms, screaming out his little soul and it won't take much more, and Joanna would cry with him.
"Do you think it's a tummy ache?" Max asked as he entered the nursery, which caused Joanna to turn around to look at him. She was bouncing Henry in her arms since after she returned to the nursery to find him crying after she left the dining room after the conversation with Max that morning, trying to calm him down. The sun was setting now, and Max had spent the last three hour or so packing to leave.
Joanna would love to claim that Max didn't even bother to look inside the nursery to see what was going on, but she couldn't tell honestly. She had no idea, she was so distressed by her baby's distress. She had barely noticed Emma's presence and the woman had stood right next to her, while offering support.
"I have no idea." She replied, swaying Henry in her arms gently and cooing at him in a desperate try to calm him down, while Max came over to her, but other than thought, he didn't reach out to take Henry from her, but to touch her shoulders, before sliding his hands gently down to her upper arms and shushing her now.
For a moment, she thought about murdering him from even attempting to sooth her like they would normally sooth their baby and for touching her. She really didn't want any touch from that man right now, but her body was betraying her. Knowing and craving the familiar touch Joanna relaxed her shoulders and rested back against Max's chest, the tears now flowing freely, as his arms slipped around her torso around her middle to hold her against him, while Henry kept crying.
"I don't know what to do." Joanna admitted, even though she didn't want Max to know any of this. She didn't want him to think she was unable to take care of their baby, when she was Henry's mother. She was the only human he needed on this planet, and she was a good mother.
"It's alright, just keep holding him. Make sure you hold him tight." Max told Joanna, as one of his arms suddenly left her, only to reach around the back of her knee as he lifted Joanna into his arms, who held onto Henry tightly, who was sill crying, but quieter now. He was settling, even though slowly.
Joanna's head rolled against the top of Max's shoulder so she would be able to see Henry's little face. Gently she brushed over the long slope of his nose with her index finger which seemed to do the trick, as it normally would do, which had Joanna smile exhaustedly.
The Austrian hadn't asked where Max was bringing them, she didn't care for it had calmed their son down, only to then feel a soft mattress under herself and realising that Max had carried her into their bedroom. Adjusting her hold around Henry, Joanna allowed herself to lean against the pillows, her own eyes fluttering shut for a moment, before she forced them open again and glanced at Henry. Within moments of finally having stopped to cry, Henry was asleep in his mother's arms.
"It's alright. You can give in. You need the rest too." Max muttered into her ear from where he had laid down on the bed, flanking Joanna, to make sure Henry was safely tugged into her arms, the pillows Max arranged around them making sure he won't fall even if both mother and son should move in their sleep. Brushing Joanna's hair back, Max pressed a loving kiss to her temple, which caused her eyes to flutter open again for the briefest of moments, before Joanna was asleep too.
Being woken by the terrible sound of an alarm going off, Joanna fished for the phone which was charging on the nightstand while trying her best not to move. As she finally was holding the stupid thing, Joanna realised that it wasn't an alarm clock, but a phone call, causing her still half asleep to accept the phone and press it against her ear, while her hand gently brushed over Henry's back.
"Where on earth are you? You said you would be here by now, but they don't even have a flight written down from Austria. I swear to God, you aren't worth the trouble you mean, Verstappen. Do you have any idea what the mommy of your baby will do to me if she gets any wind of this? She will kill me! You think the paddock war you have at your hands going to be costly, you have never seen what Joanna Lauda can do when she's pissed off and by God, that woman isn't one to share. I will see it done that..." Joanna was surprised with being faced with Max, who gently pulled what must be his phone out of her hold, before he ended the call.
"What are you doing here?" Joanna asked, blinking at him confused, which caused Max to lean forward and capture her lips into a soft kiss which Joanna instantly returned before she regained some of her senses and got one hand free from holding Henry, before pushing Max away from her.
"I'm keeping myself from committing the greatest mistake in my entire life." He told Joanna, which had her swallowing.
"That was Kelly." She realised who had just talked a mile per minute into her ear after she had just woken up. "You stayed home."
"I stayed where I belong." He corrected her, before his neutral expression suddenly broke and he reached for her hand to hold. "Joanna, I'm so fucking sorry." Max said, which had her look at him in disbelief.
"Can you make up for fucking mind?" Joanna returned, not believing Max was backtracking now. Not after that fight, not after wanting to leave for Brazil to be with Kelly, not after getting the jet ready and packing his stuff.
"I did. I'm here, aren't I?" He was so mightily mistaken right now, Joanna couldn't even express it.
"Who says I want you here any longer?" The Austrian wondered, which had Max pause for a moment.
"I fucked up, I know. Big time." Max told her.
"Big time?" Joanna echoed in disbelief. Was he for real? He was ready to call of the wedding yesterday to be able to go and fuck Kelly Piquet and now he describes that as fucking up, oh no, as fucking up big time, so yes of course, everything is perfectly fine again. Why won't they be fucking peachy right now.
"What on earth is wrong with you as of lately? I don't even recognise you. You act so unlike yourself. Has the knowledge of Jules's kid done your head in or something?" Joanna wanted to know, because by God, she had fucked up before too and Max had forgiven her, she knew that, but she had never fucked up like this. Never so... big time. Maybe he had a stroke, and no one noticed it.
"I will fix it, I promise." Max said instead, which wasn't really an answer to her question, but yeah sure. He's fixing it. She was too fucking tired to fight about this now.
"You just better make sure you are here when we wake up." Joanna told him, before she readjusted Henry in her hold and got comfortable again, before closing her eyes. She's not dealing with that now. She's napping with her son.
Joanna felt the ghost of lips against her temple, before the bed dipped slightly and a hand brushed over Henry's back, before Max was gone, the door the last thing Joanna heard before she was back to falling asleep.
Walking through their living room, Max moved past his packed luggage and left the family apartment to walk down the corridor and then down the flight of stairs into the great hall, only to find Adrian there, who was already watching him with big eyes.
"A taxi to the airport, sir?" Adrian asked Max, who caused the younger man to huff, before biting the inside of his cheek for a moment.
"No." He told Adrian. "I need to address something else." That had the older Austrian's full attention.
"What can I do for you, Mister Verstappen?" Suddenly he also sounded way friendlier.
"I need you to do something for me, but you can never tell, Joanna. Never. You need to swear it." Max started to speak, which had Adrian muster him with worry, but he saw the determination in the Dutchman's eyes, which had him nod.
"What can I do for you, sir?" Adrian pressed on, which had Max exhale once. Saying it out loud made it real, but nearly losing Joanna because his drunk ass had the idea to have something with Kelly totally out of the blue already nearly ruined everything.
"Okay, listen." Max began to talk. "You need to remove all the alcohol in the house for me. Lock it away, pour it down the sink. I don't care but keep it out of reach from me. Don't give me anything, not a single drop, not even when I request it, you understand me?" Max asked of Adrian, who tried to keep a neutral expression, but suddenly a few things began to add up.
"Consider it done." Adrian promised Max, because he won't ask questions. It was his job to serve, not to gossip and be noisy about the Laudas' and now also one certain Verstappen's business.
"You need to make sure that nothing is left. It all needs to be gone and Joanna cannot know why it's gone. I'm trying to reign myself back in quietly. There is no reason to cause a scene and I don't want her to worry, when she doesn't have to, just yet. Tell her, it's a new safety police due to Henry living in the Lauda house or think of something else, I trust that you will find a solution." Max added, before he paused once more, the expression on his face changing slightly.
"Adrian, I need to ask of you to keep her safe from me if you must. If I ever get strange and do questionable things like I did the last two weeks again or I lose it or worse ... get her away from me. Joanna and Henry, and don't let me close to them. I won't end like my father hurting my own family just because I'm not strong enough to fight it."
"I will follow your instructions." Adrian agreed, which caused Max to thank him again, before joining his hands at his front and fiddling with his hands slightly.
"Mister Verstappen." Adrian addressed. "You're stronger than this, son. You got this." Adrian encouraged Max, who gave a thankful nod, before he returned upstairs his fingers fishing for the engagement ring in his jeans pocket. He needed to return it to its owner while Adrian got David and Emma and started to work, even though he didn't tell them the real reason behind what they were doing.
"With Miss Lauda in the house unable to drink due to feeding the child and with the child in the house, it's more than just insensible." Adrian had told them, which caused Emma to nod before she moved to do as she was told while David paused, before addressing Adrian.
"Sir, what about Mister Verstappen. He likes a drink or two every now and then." David told Adrian, which had the old Austrian assure him that he had had a conversation with Mister Verstappen and that it was in his interest to remove all alcohol from the house too, so their son won't grow up surrounded by bottles.
David did as he was told then, of course, after having voiced his concern, which caused Adrian to wonder if he was getting too old for the job. David had noticed Max's struggle, but he hadn't even suspected it. Shaking his head, he knew there was no use in thinking about what had already happened, he would just make sure to have an eye on the young man from now on. They were all so worried about Joanna and the child most of the time, they tend to overlook Max, but no more of that. Adrian was on watch now and nothing would go past him ever again.