Reading my reports with sweaty hands and feet, I am sitting on the couch in the afternoon. I gave my sample first day in the morning. Thankfully, everything is good except my heamoglobin which is 10 and iron which is very low basically stating that I am anemic. I also have low vitamin D and B12 which basically means i need to work on my nutrition. But thankfully it is nothing very serious. But I still wonder if my anxiety and heart palpitations is because of that. Maybe, I have just been too stressed.
I go on to forward my reports to Abhi sir so that he can check and allow me to work accordingly. But atleast I have today with me free. I go to the kitchen to prepare and some snacks so that we all can enjoy some chitchat. Anjali Di and Sanjana Di and Maitreyi di all join me. I get the task to prepare tea and white sauce pasta and the other two are making fritters, chips, sandwiches.
We all sit down gleefully eating and enjoying. Kalpana di asks me," How are you feeling Anika? What happened to you?"
" Nothing di. I think I was just too tired that night turns out I have loads of vitamin deficiency so will take care of that from now." I reply.
" Oh but Vihaan was saying something about your unsafe trip to the library from the event and about you passing out." She says in a not so decent voice.
" He told you that?" I ask with shock.
" Not me. But he told Krishant bhaiya to look out for your safety." She says.
I feel my gut getting unhealthy again. I told him personally not to spill anything. I don't want any drama on this issue from this further and god forbid if Aadarsh gets to know about this, I don't hold the energy to argue this out with him that what cause me to spill this much to no one but Vihaan. And I already sense some uncomfortable energy from him but thanks to my tired body that I slept early last day.
" No actually it was not that big of a deal. That personally was just me stressed out. Also about that stranger, nobody knows him so I think there's no point discussing it any further. What matters is I am fine now." I reply.
" But I mean it was obviously something serious otherwise why did Vihaan personally took you here and you are on a leave and getting paid simultaneously. What work culture does that?" says Ahana di trying to get some more of it.
" Work culture where they care for their employees". I say sarcastically but soon realise that I don't want to offend anyone. " It's alright now di. It's nothing to worry about." I reassure her. " Everyone I am doing just fine. There's no need to bring that up anymore. Let's talk about what we have to wear on Di's wedding." I say
" We have done the shopping already Anika. You were busy that day. You should do it soon too." says Sanjana Di. " I'll go with you. Don't worry"
" Yes I will go today for some remaining shopping. You should go today itself." Says Anjali Di.
We spend the rest of the time witb playing cards and UNO and Antakshari. I haven't had such great laughs from a long time.
NEXT DAY
I go with White shirt and brown pants for my library outfit today since I want to feel that vibe again. I am coping with my anxiety still. I don't know why my body is not responding well. I feel dizzy during nights and get palpitations sometimes thinking too much. My back hurts all the time. Hope I can deal with it as soon as possible.
I reach the library and I feel breeze passing my face with its soothing effect. Today, I feel a little less stressed reaching this place. I am thankful to him. I have written a vintage themed short letter for him. I could write a thousand words for him right now but I don't want it to look like what everyone thought of me. So I kept it short and concise.
When I reach the porch in front, I see Vihaan and Ahana talking in front, laughing and giggling about something. It feels good to see Ahana after a long time. But I pass through them since I don't want to disturb their conversation.
I greet Abhi sir at the entrance and go on the second floor and reach my desk. I put everything on the table and go on to work on the finances and report. The finance report is missing so I just work on the report instead. The one who was here before hasn't put everything in a organised way so I start it afresh.
I see Ahana entering the place. She gives me a cheery smile. " Sorry I was unable to talk to you earlier. How are you?" She asks kindly.
" Hi. I am actually doing quite well. You look pretty today." I reply back. She looks pretty in her gorgeous brown bodycon dress.
" Um actually I am here to check on you you know." She raises her one eyebrow. " Vihaan told me that you had an episode with your anxiety yesterday. Is everything okay?" She asks in a concerned manner.
What should I even say now? " Uh I am actually doing really well today. I feel very well after visiting my mom and having some good time. I am grateful to Vihaan Sir for that." I reply.
" Oh okay. ANIKA. Are you hiding something. What actually happened yesterday if I may ask?" She asks again.
I know that I can't tell her anything. It will make my problem double times worse. " Oh please relax." I say touching her by both her shoulders. " I am all fine. It's just that to be honest, I had my first panic attack yesterday. And you know what, this is my first job plus I am preparing for an exam with my parents away from me. I hope you can understand the pressure on me. Also with the wedding happening, I just sometimes think too much about my preparation being affected. So that's it. Plus that harassment thing took a toll on my mental health hence the panic attack. But I should tell you one thing very clearly, that Vihaan Sir actually took care of me really well and he was the reason I did not end up in ER because I thought I was having a heart attack." I reply breifing her on everything that happened.
" I completely understand plus all that really makes sense. I wish you a good health now. You look very modest today. Just to tell you, I am there okay. If your anxiety is getting out of control, you know whom to call." She says smiling softly and comes near my one ear and whispers while cupping my one ear" Plus I don't charge my friends. I take care of them."
I smile back. " Really thankyou so much Ahana. This means a lot. Okay."
" Bye love yaa girl." She goes back. I am forever grateful to have a friend like her.
" Well Well Well.. You just saved yourself from having a really horrible day my love." I hear a voice from behind. And it's a familiar one.
And all of a sudden, my heart skips one big beat. I am all frozen again. What the hell is he doing here? I turn around and there he is.
Aadarsh is standing with some files in his hands and smiling cunningly while looking right at me. " Hii-eee-- ii What brings you here?" I ask calmly.
" Oh nobody told you yet. I am the new manager of the public library. I was able to get it so easily with my impressive resume + Aashna putting in softer words in Vihaan's ears about me. Since I am here for the summers, I was wondering what should I do. So staying with my girlfriend felt like a great choice. Isn't it.?"
" Well. It's your life. You can do whatever you want to I guess. I need to go to the washroom." I say while rushing back.
He obstructs my path. " You haven't apologised with my mom yet. When is that gonna happen?" He says while looking at me strictly. There's anger in his eyes.
" I couldn't find her anywhere that's why." I say calmly again with my teeth clenched tightly.
" Okay. Talk to her now then." He dials the number and hands it over to me.
It rings two times and then " Hello?"
" Namaste Aunty. How are you? Anika this side." I reply back.
There's a long silence. And then comes a rude " Yes say."
" Uhh Aunty I am really sorry for what happened in the past. My mon and dad shouldn't have done that."
" And because of whom they told us such miseries."
" I know Aunty. There was a misunderstanding. I really misunderstood Aadarsh. But I want to apologise for my mistake."
" And what about the hurt that Aadarsh felt because of you. He had to suffer in London and he is suffering even now because of you."
What the literal crap. " Uh I don't know what you're talking about." Aadarsh gives me a stern look and whispers " Say what you're told".
" What I am taking about. Listen girl we've already undergone a lot of misery because of you. The only reason I am tolerating is because Aadarsh loves you." She says raising her voice.
" I know that Aunty which is why I am saying sorry to you and uncle. Please bare with my mistake." I am almost urging her helplessly so that nothing goes wrong with my parents.
" It's okay. I have a big heart and I am a woman too. It's okay to make mistakes but make sure it happens never again. You want find a man like my son."
Oh I don't even want to. I say inside my head. " Sure Aunty. Thankyou so much. Please take care." And she hangs up.
" Good job but can you be a bit more polite the next time." says Aadarsh rudely. " And what about these nanny clothes that you've started wearing." He says looking at my brown shirt and cream pants. " IN such hot summers, you are wearing these Antarctic kinda clothes. Are you out of your mind." He says rudely again.
It's my choice dickhead and you won't get what vintage style means. " I was in a rush so wore anything that I came across." I say with a weak smile.
" Whatever." He says and starts walking away.
I call him " Aadarsh." He turns back. " What was that thing about having our memories." I ask him desperately.
He starts smiling heavily. " Oh you mean our memories with a heavy focus on you." Wait a minutes. He does something on his phone while I am waiting for the worst. " Here."
There's a whole another folder of my name with approx 500 pictures and 84 videos on them. It involves all the sweet memories but the worst the intimate ones too. I used to stop him from making them but he always used to convince me by saying that he'll miss me in London and these will help him and dumb me used to get carried away.
He watches tears roll down my cheeks. I urge him. " Please delete it." I say helplessly.
" Help yourself." He says carelessly and walks away.
I've never been treated this way ever by him. In the past, at least he used to be there with me to caress me. Today, he's the worst version of himself. I kneel down and start crying with all my baggage.