It felt as if I was walking in a tunnel ,suffocating . Coping up . Breathing a little. Still I was alive ,
I was not ready to stay in the darkness
I have been in for past few years .
It reminded me of all the things I missed
I missed a true person .I missed painting, I missed writing .I missed my friends. Offcourse I can't be fully blamed but I was so scared of light .
.I was searching that light in everyone else when it was all inside me .the capacity to still give after being so wounded. I realized I am precious .
Regret was slapping me hard when I realized " the hidden one " . Someone I never praised ,someone I never gave a chance since four years .
Doing the same constant ghosting and finally when I started recovering I was
Sharing myself but I shared even the scary parts of me with him emotionally. I was going to meet him for the first time . I was seeing a right person . I was afraid as before now but for the first time I was facing genuiness .I was being genuine . The circle ended . I unloved Cameron.
I forgave him as I understood the cycles we all are trapped in . But I refused to hold him ever again and if he ever loved me he would be happy I ended what he always wanted me to .