Director: Dear Chairman.
Fade in to a remote base of some sort, with Washington and Caboose approaching the structure
Director: Rest assured we have the situation under control. While the Meta is proving to be an elusive enemy, our Recovery agent is already closing in on it. I expect this incident will reach a conclusion soon, and I will be able to return to my research. Hopefully, without further interruption.
Washington: And you're sure this is where we can find this guy?
Caboose: I think so. We all found out our new orders at the same time; he tried to hide his from me so I would not know where he was.
Washington: Really. I can't imagine why.
Caboose: I said it was like a game of hide and seek, and he said that that was right; he was going to hide from me. And the only way he could win, is if he dies without ever seeing me again.
Washington: And he knows about Freelancer as well.
Amity: And he's kind of a asshole.
Caboose: Oh, yeah, he knows the most. He knows uh, all about your A.I. game. He dated Tex!
Washington: Agent Texas? Um, how could a person-
A sniper shot rings out between them
Voice: Fuck!
Washington: Sniper! Get down!
Amity: Oh shit!
Both Amity and Washington take cover.
Caboose: Huh?
Voice: Okay, that was your one warning shot! The next one's goin' right between your eyes!
Washington: Private Caboose! Get down!
Amity: Luz get down here!
Caboose: Wait a minute...
Luz: Oh it's Church
Voice: Alright! I warned ya! Sayonara, biatch!
Another sniper shot misses Caboose
Voice: Aw come on, what the fuck!?
Washington: Caboose!
Caboose: I know that voice! Church! Church! It's me! Your all-time best friend!
Church: Caboose? Caboose is that you?
Caboose: Yes! Church, it's me!
Luz: Can you let us in!?
Church starts firing at Caboose and Luz a lot, and missing, a lot
Caboose: I have missed you so much! It has been so long! Did you miss me!?
Church: Fuck! I missed him!
Caboose: I knew you did!
Luz: How are this bad with your aim?!
Church: Go away!
Washington: This is your friend?
Caboose: Yeah.
Luz: Kind of.
Amity: Really?
The shooting resumes
Washington: And he's shooting at you.
Caboose: Well, at me and stuff around me. Yeah, this is kind of like our thing. See, he acts like he doesn't like me, but he really does. Oh and he might bring up something about me killing him, but that's only the truth. Uh it's a joke. *inhale* You could play along if you want!
Washington: Wait, that doesn't make any sense. You did what? You- you killed him?
Luz: Don't ask it's a long story. If it was a show it would have to be six to five seasons to do it justice.
Church: Hey, scram, seriously! Get the fuck outta here!
Caboose: Hey Church! This is Agent Washington! He needs to speak to you.
Church: Agent Wa- You brought a Freelancer here? What's wrong with you?!
Washington: Open this gate.
Church: Uh, no can do, bud. See this is a secure facility: nobody in, nobody out. Sorry, I guess you'll have to come back, never.
Amity: Oh no, then I guess we'll have to just walk through the huge hole in your secure wall.
Camera aims at the huge hole in the wall
Church: Fine, I'll open the fucking gate.
Amity: Why didn't we just go through the wall in the first place?
Cut to the inside of the base
Church: Okay well, sorry the place is so messy. I would have cleaned up if I'd known you guys were coming. But hey, no one called ahead.
Washington: How long have you been here?
Church: How long? Um... What day is today?
Washington: Today is Tuesday.
Church: I've been here fourteen months.
Washington: What? Over a year, by yourself? Alone?
Church: Yeah, it's been um... it's been great, I mean just, just, it's been great. Really great.
Luz: How have you not gone crazy?
Church: I have no idea.
The radio sounds
Command: This is Command calling Recovery One, come in Recovery One.
Washington: (to the Blues) You are really an odd group of people. Hold on. (to Command) This is Agent Washington. I found some Blue Team members that have extensive experience with Omega.
Church: Did he just say Omega?
Caboose: Yeah. And some other words too.
Church: How about Boasha?
Luz: He never said anything about her. So he doesn't know about her. Which means Willow still got her all locked up.
Command: Excellent, Agent Washington, please stand by for orders.
The camera pans behind someone invisible who then darts off before Caboose looks where he was
Command: Now that you have reassembled the Blues, you should head to Outpost 17-B. See what clues your team can gather there based on what they know.
Washington: Roger that.
Command: They want you to stop the Meta at all costs. This is a Level One directive. Good luck Wash. Recovery Command out.
Washington: Recovery One out. (cuts off radio) Come on, let's move out.
Church: Move out? Hey at what point in this conversation did you think that we were buddies or somethin'? I'm not goin' with you.
Caboose: Yes! You are not in our buddy club!
Church: Shut up Caboose, and what did I tell you about that armor when we had to pick new suits?
Caboose: You told me to upgrade.
Church: That's not an upgrade! This is Mark Six armor, that's Mark Five. This is an upgrade.
Caboose: In a Top Ten list, five is better than six.
Church: We're not a top ten list!
Luz: One is the best spot for a top ten.
Amity: It really is.
Church: That's not the point!
Washington: How do you ever get anything done if all you ever do is argue with each other?
Church: We don't, that's part of our charm. Quit fuckin' it up!
Washington: Look, I know you guys are all wrapped up in your little "red versus blue" battles-
Caboose: Blue versus red battles. No one says red versus blue, it sounds stupid when you say it backwards.
Washington: But this is important. Actual military operations. Not your fake simulation stuff. Something is hunting our top agents, and I need all the help I can get to stop it.
Church: Stop it? If it's killing Freelancers, I want to start a fan club for it, build it a website.
Amity: Hell I gave it a dinner for that. Take it to five star restaurant.
Washington: And now that the ship from your canyon is crashed, we think it's more powerful than ever. It gains new abilities every time it kills-
Church: Wait, wait, wait, whoa- you found Tex's ship?
Luz: Tex!
Washington: We believe so.
Church: Where?
Washington: Come with me, and I'll show you.
Church: Okay, I'm in.
Caboose: Yes, this will be the greatest road trip ever!
Amity: We'll need snacks.
Caboose: I'm picking!
Amity: Hope it's good.
Church: If you say anything positive, I will fucking kill all three of us right now.
Caboose: Okay. I will be very depressed about how awesome this will be.
Luz: Church are you sure about this. I mean it was a big crash. Just...just don't get your hope up. Okay?
Church: Fine it's just... I need to know.
They all run off.
The Meta decloaks on the base and starts meddling with a recording he made of Washington's conversation with Command to create new audio, then sounds the radio with it
Command: This is Command calling Red Base, come in Red Base.
Sarge: This is Blood Gulch Outpost Number One.
Command: Please stand by for orders Red Base.
Sarge: Go ahead Red Command!
Command: Agent Washington has reassembled the Blues.
Sarge: I knew it! I knew he was a Blue!
Command: Gather your team. We want you to stop Agent Washington at all costs. This is a level one directive. Good luck, Red Base.
Sarge: Hey, one sec. Any word on that soldier poison I ordered?
Command: No. Good luck, Red Base.
Sarge: What about the robot nuts?
Command: No. Good luck, Red Base. Command out.
Sarge: Well you don't have to get so te- ...
Meta closes the connection
Sarge: Hello? Hello, can you hear me? ...How 'bout now? This thing gets terrible reception. Only have one bar. ...Hello? Can you hear me now?
Meta sees someone in purple armor off to the side. South steps out from behind a broken wall with Delta activated
Delta: I still believe this course of action is dangerous. If we are following Agent Washington, logic would dictate that others could be as well.
Meta hops down the wall and sneaks towards them.