May 12th.
I was told by Nagumo today that at 5:00 p.m., I'd be called to the trial.
It was... eerie. I had walked outside my dorm room, but every person's eyes were placed on me. Every passerby, every stranger, those orbs were tracking my every movement. I thought it had almost stopped before, but I suppose word was getting around that my trial day was today. It's odd, Sudo's case was nowhere near as known.
I suppose the combination of factors here elevates it into a different category. The exam score, the cheating scandal, and finally the complaint that the school was mistreating me.
"Oh, Kiyotaka!" Yosuke called out to me.
He seemed to be in the elevator and held it open for me. Walking a little faster so he doesn't have to hold it for long, those gates began to close.
"So, it's today, huh?" Yosuke mumbled indistinctly.
"Yeah, guess so."
Yosuke leaned against the wall, "If... If you do get expelled, is there anything you want me to do?"
"Protect Kei and support Horikita to the best of your ability, that's the only things I can think of," I shrugged.
"I can do that... Sure," he claimed.
To Yosuke, the thought of me being expelled would be a tough one to bear, but he seems to be getting through it.
"Kiyotaka... Thanks," Yosuke stated indistinctly.
"For what?"
"Helping me out."
"I see."
There were no more words to be said. A mutual understanding was present.
* * *
"Why are you all so quiet?" I asked.
It was lunch now, and all of our final periods weren't with each other.
"Well, after school ends we've got like 2 hours before the trial. More like an hour and a half if you minus all the miscellaneous stuff. So... It's just kinda weird to know what to talk about," Keisei sighed.
With the looming case, it was difficult to get the words out.
"Do you guys want to do go-karting after school then?" Haruka asked.
"It isn't like we'll have much time anyway. It's always the most crowded right after school ends, people rush there, especially since it's a Friday," Akito sighed in dissatisfaction.
"Well, we can still hang out for a while. I do want to get back about 10 minutes before 5, though," I proposed.
"I guess..."
"Sure."
Airi and Keisei softly nodded.
I suppose they're really down in the dumps.
"Yo, dumbass."
Turning around, I found Ryuuen and his usual group behind him. With the addition of Hiyori.
"Hey, Hiyori."
"Hello, Ayanokouji," she politely waved.
Ryuuen took a seat next to Airi, who scooted away as far as she could. She looked like an old cartoon character having her soul leaking out of her mouth.
"What are the odds of you winnin' that trial?" he asked me.
"I dunno. I've gotten a good amount of evidence, I'd say it's winnable, I don't know how winnable exactly."
"You didn't think about getting 20 million points?" asked Ibuki.
"It'd be impossible. Our class was nowhere near the number, Ichinose's was even worse. Sakayanagi must've exhausted most of her funds already after the first exam, and even she only gained an additional 4 million in May. I doubt you guys have 20 million either," I sighed.
"Even if the guy were to get every point from every first year it's still probably not enough," Ryuuen added.
And as for Nagumo... He's compromised.
"Man, looks like your class is going to get pretty damn pathetic, huh?" Ryuuen grinned.
"Maybe," I shrugged.
The Ayanokouji Group were all staring at Ryuuen with hostile expressions. With the exception of Airi, who was looking at her empty tray of food as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.
"Did I push a button? Sorry, sorry, just came to give my final messages. Do my part, you know?" Ryuuen remarked with an amused smile, placing his hand on the table and using it as support to stand upright.
"Well, maybe I'll see ya again," Ryuuen remarked casually as he walked away.
"Bye, Ayanokouji..." Hiyori waved goodbye with a sad smile.
"Bye, Hiyori."
The bell rang, and so began what could be my final lesson.
* * *
"You suck, dude," Akito told Keisei with a smug expression.
"I can still make a comeback..." Keisei stated with an embarrassed expression.
"How?" I asked.
Keisei adjusted his glasses, "Well, you see, Ayanokouji. If I were to get a consistent-"
"Nerd! Go bowl the ball," Haruka giggled.
Keisei sighed, bowling the ball.
It curved, from the right to the left. As the ball travelled, it reflected off the ceiling lights, almost like it was in the spotlight. The ball rolled.
And rolled...
And rolled into the gutter for the 5th time in a row...
"0 points... I just feel bad, dude," Akito told him.
"My go next, huh?" I muttered as I stood up from the plush seat.
Picking up an '8' ball, I looked at the scoreboard. Right now, I am doing much better than last time, only a little bit behind Akito and Haruka. If I got a strike here, I'd be in first place. But I discarded that possibility almost instantly, I'd never bowled a strike before.
My fingers loose on the ball, I began to steadily walk towards the lane.
My arm raising, my lungs inhaling oxygen...
That was, at least, until I got a little shove in the back, dropping the ball on accident.
"Who did that...?" Haruka giggled, steadily walking backwards.
"What was the point of that?"
"You were only 2 pins ahead of me!" Haruka pouted.
Sighing, I looked back at the ball. It was slowly rolling forward, with no spotlight on it.
It picked up some speed.
And...
"STRIKE!"
"Noooo....!" Haruka groaned in defeat.
"Karma."
"Yeah, you deserved that."
"I know..." Haruka grumbled.
"Okay, I'm next!" Airi said loudly, most likely in an attempt to hype herself up.
Grabbing the lightest ball there is, she slowly walked up and set the ball down flat on the ground. Then, with all her might, she gave it a strong push, watching it gradually accelerate in speed until it hit a decent 7 pins.
"Nice job, Airi!" Haruka praised excitedly, running up to her and embracing Airi.
The hour went by quickly, and soon we were finished. All of us were beginning to head back to the dorms, walking in silence. We entered the elevator in silence.
My floor was first, so I walked out of the elevator.
"See you guys."
Stepping outside the elevator, I gave them a final look.
And as the metal gates began to close, the only thing I could see on their face was dejection.
I began to walk to my dorm room, however, as I opened the door, I found Airi approaching me in the corner of my eye.
"Airi?"
Her face was as red as ever as she speedwalked towards me.
"I... I wanted to talk to you a little more," she admitted.
She looked tense, almost like there was something she wanted to get off her chest. I decided to let her inside my dorm room, and Airi walked in without hesitation.
The pink-haired girl took a seat on my bed, her hands in her lap as she stared up at me.
"What is it, Airi?"
She took a few seconds to respond.
"Um... I just wanted to thank you, for everything you've done for me," she stated awkwardly.
"You didn't have to do that."
She shook her head, "No, I did. If not for you... I probably would've been alone for the entire year just like every other time. I wouldn't have made any friends like Haruka."
Maybe that's the case.
Admittedly, a part of me was happy she thought that.
"Then I guess I'm supposed to say you're welcome," I replied awkwardly.
She let out a soft giggle at my comment.
"But... That isn't the only thing I wanted to talk to you about."
She clenched her fists tightly, raising her head, those blue eyes flickering with determination.
Airi began to speak, her voice steady and filled with conviction.
"I really like you."
I looked into her eyes. The strength hadn't faded, hadn't been replaced with fear, or anxiety, the blue was as strong as ever.
A year ago, they wouldn't have been able to meet mine, but things changed.
Somewhere along the road, the fear-struck girl was growing.
But as much as they change...
"I'm sorry, Airi."
...They stay the same.
"I can't reciprocate your feelings because I don't feel the same."
It isn't that I'm not ready for a relationship like I once told Sato, nor is it that Airi and I are incompatible, it's the fact that she was too late. If this confession happened much earlier, it's possible I would've agreed.
The longer she waited, the lower her chances got. It's a cruel fact, but it's a fact nevertheless.
"It's... it's okay! Really..."
Airi's voice had grown weaker, her eyes falling down and landing on the wooden floorboards.
Her confidence might go down once again, it's a common phenomenon. People open themselves up, and the moment they feel too hurt, the door shuts tighter than ever before.
However, there's nothing I can do about that.
Airi made a gamble, she took a risk, and it didn't pay off.
"I... I kinda expected this."
The gates that held the tears were slowly cracking. Each word that was uttered possessed sorrow.
"You took the risk, that's more than what most people can say. I'm sure there will be someone that feels the same way about you soon," I reassured her.
I, admittedly, didn't have many words to say.
"I guess..." she muttered, her voice cracking slightly.
A silence ensued from then on.
As the seconds passed by, it seemed to grow more and more painful for Airi.
Airi looked up at me once again, "Good luck on your trial, K-kiyotaka."
There was a soft smile present on her face.
"I'll do my best."
Airi nodded, standing up and exiting my dorm. As I saw her leave, it was as if she was more fragile and small than ever before.
But perhaps... Perhaps it would be temporary. She would grow from this experience, rather than regress.
Maybe that's just my own personal wish.
* * *
Within a few minutes, Kei arrived at my dorm room, knocking on the door. I let her inside, and she promptly went to sit on the couch.
"Why'd you ask me to come 5 minutes later?" Kei asked.
"A friend wanted to talk to me," I said, sitting down next to her on the couch.
"Who was it?"
"Airi."
Kei cocked her head to the side, her eyes narrowing in suspicion, "What were you talking about?"
"She confessed to me..."
Kei's eyes widened in surprise, her lips parted in shock.
"R-really?! Well, what did ya say? Oh, well, obviously you said no, what am I thinking?"
"Yeah, I told her no."
Kei let out a brief sigh, leaving the matter at that. Glancing to the wall, she noticed the time.
"Man, only 10 minutes left, huh?" Kei sighed, possessing a cloudy expression.
I nodded, standing up once again. I took all the documents I had stored in the first drawer of my desk and began sifting through them. Each and everything I had collected over the last week. I looked through my phone for every piece of footage, every piece of recorded testimony.
"Oh, I know, we should practice. Go ahead, try and be a lawer!" Kei suggested.
She took a seat on my bed and waited expectantly.
I didn't really know what to do, so I just decided to go with what a stereotypical lawyer might.
"So when it comes down to the evidence, undoubtedly, the only thing that can be discerned for anyone with eyes to see is--"
"Why are you sounding like you have a giant stick up your butt?"
I sighed, "You told me to be a lawyer, so I have to command the room, right?"
"But you're crap at that."
How reassuring.
"No, no, that was mean. Okay, what I meant was that you shouldn't try to say crap you'd hear on a bad episode of Law & Order. You should be yourself."
Being myself is what got me into this mess.
"And that is?" I asked.
Kei giggled, "You should be a little awkward sometimes, be open to listening, and when it counts, you'll say the perfect thing that'll win them all over."
Well, I guess that being told that wasn't so bad.
"Guess you might not need to do the project, huh?" Kei chuckled, but it felt oddly forced.
My eyes met hers, and it was obvious how she was feeling.
"I thought of a name for that dog app," I told her.
I stood in front of her and her eyes looked up at mine.
"Oh yeah?"
"Mhm. PawPlanner."
Kei's expression went blank for a moment until she burst out laughing, putting her hand on my shoulder for support.
"That is so dorky!" she laughed, clutching her side with her left hand.
This lasted for a few more seconds until Kei stood up straight, a few tears in her eyes due to the laughter.
"Sorry, sorry, I love it!" Kei told me excitedly.
After her laughs died down, a silence seemed to have taken a hold of the room. As if all superfluous sounds evaporated.
The words were lost.
I looked into her eyes, and she looked back at mine.
Kei moved forward slightly, but she hesitated, averting her eyes.
"Uhm... Do you got any snacks? I'm kinda starving here," she forced out, moving away from me and heading to the fridge.
If I were to guess, she hesitated because of Airi.
Kei grabbed a chocolate bar I was saving and sat down on the couch.
Well, I guess I probably wouldn't need it if I lost, but still.
I looked over at the clock, and it seemed like it was time.
"You gotta go, huh? Maybe if you come back, I'll give you a reward~" she giggled.
The intended effect was probably seduction, but with her face being a red mess, it looked more cute than anything.
"I'll be sure to get it then," I told her as I picked up the documents and turned around, heading for the door.
In a few steps, I would leave this dorm.
3 steps.
2 steps.
1 step.
I turned the door handle, but I felt a sudden sensation on my back. It was Kei, gripping my blazer tightly.
"You better come back, okay?" she asked in a fragile voice.
"I'll do my best."
"Then there's nothing to worry about, huh?"
Letting go of my back, I walked onward outside the dorm room, and into the elevator.
I don't know what her expression was at the end because I didn't turn around.
This might've been our last meeting, seeing her expression that must've been filled with sorrow would've dampened it.
This school life of mine was... just starting.
Did I do well?
I had made connections, I made friends, I got a girlfriend, I had succeeded in many things. I had learned about things I never had the chance to.
And yet, I feel the same.
I have a new goal inside this school, but as a person, I don't feel entirely detached from the person I was in the White Room.
But a small, insignificant part of me... wished for it.
I suppose that part of me will continue to fester its roots. In some deep corner of my heart, it will continue to pray, it will continue to chant, 'I can change'.
What simple words they are.
And yet, it's a nearly insurmountable brick wall.
To be separated from the Ayanokouji created in the White Room.
To grow.
To live.
Even on my deathbed, it might continue to recite.
Like a mantra to the heavens above.
* * *
I walked towards the student council office, and I found a group of people present.
Chabashira and Horikita possessed tense expressions, glancing at me nervously.
Yagami looked calm. I suppose this didn't matter to him all that much.
But I did notice that Sakayanagi wasn't present. That'd be a problem if she didn't show, but it's also illogical for her to abandon the trial.
"Are you ready?" Horikita asked.
I shrugged, "As ready as I can be, I suppose."
"Is that so, Ayanokouji?"
A cool voice rang from behind me and I could place it immediately.
"Hello, Sakayanagi," I greeted.
Sakayanagi's cane was the only sound in the hallway. As it click-clacked toward us, the lilac-haired girl stared at me with a joyful smile.
"I'll see you inside," she remarked, possessing a pleasant expression.
But behind that pleasant, gentle face, lurked a girl itching to crush Tsukishiro.
Horikita already knew that Sakayanagi would be making an appearance, but not for what purpose, and I did my best to make sure she wouldn't find out.
"Good evening, good evening," Tsukishiro cheerfully said, walking past us and into the student council office.
He seemed perfectly calm, a deep contrast from the two people next to me.
"Waiting won't do us any good, isn't that what you said, Horikita?" I asked.
"I said worrying won't do any good, actually," Horikita corrected.
I've been wanting to say this to someone for a while now.
"Nerd."
"Rude," she complained.
Her eyes softened, though.
"Good luck... Ayanokouji."
I nodded, turning around, walking through the oak door that was like a portal.
Moving back the seat, I sat down, just like I did a year before.
My eyes looked across the long, wooden table, meeting Tsukishiro who was leaning back in his chair with a calm smile.
At the head of the table where the president usually sits, three men sat. The two on the side were looking through documents idly, but the man in the middle was different.
He had a blank expression, his eyes looking dull and bored as he stared off into the distance.
"Good luck to you, Ayanokouji. I hope your complaint gets the results you think it deserves," Tsukishiro told me with a calm smile.
"Thank you, Tsukishiro."
It was as if the temperature in the room was dropping.
The door had shut.
All parties were in their seats.
"It seems like everyone is here."
The trial has begun.