(While Wriothesley was talking to Grandpa Nel)
Neuvillette's POV
"You are pouting, young master." Grandma Felice teased.
I quickly schooled my expression but it was already far too late.
"So eager to go back to Mister Handsome? You've been singing his praises for a while now, young master, and yet you forgot to mention his looks till now."
I nearly choked on my own spit at the blunt accusation.
"Grandma Felice!"
"Oh come now, Neuvillette. I am merely stating the truth. now stop moving around or you'll ruin the braid."
The braid.
Right, the braid.
"Can't we just drop the braid so I can-"
"No." She cut me off.
And I could do nothing but let her continue while I sulked.
...
No.
I did not sulk.
There was no sulking.
That would be far too childish.
"Have you eaten breakfast yet, young master?"
"Yes. Wriothesley made some."
It was lovely.
"Under your watchful gaze? How impressive of Mister Handsome. Most people would cover in fear." She chuckled.
"Hmm?"
I tilted my head in confusion only for it to be pulled back into place with a small tug on my hair.
"Sit still. As for the other matter... You can't possibly want me to believe that I just hallucinated your piercing gaze every time I cooked food over the years. You were watching me like a hawk."
...
Alright.
That may or may not have happened a few times.
...
Okay, maybe more than a few times.
But...
"Wriothesley cooked while I showered." I corrected her.
And her reaction was just:
"Oh?"
Oh?
What do you mean by 'oh?'?
"You didn't feel the need to watch carefully what he puts into it?"
"He made French toast." I protested.
What can you possibly add to French toast?
An extra spoonful of sugar?
"And I put together a bowl of cereal for you once and yet there you were, watching my every movement." Grandma Felice retorted.
"That was-"
"You making sure no one would lace your food with anything?"
I couldn't help but freeze.
I suppose that particular action was quite easy to see through.
"I'm not blaming you for it, Neuvillette. No one would. I'm just trying to point out that you seem to trust someone you barely know an awful lot. I just want you to be careful." She said softly.
And she was right.
I...
I really did-
"A few days ago when we last spoke you said you liked him. Want to tell me why?"
Why I liked Wriothesley?
That's because-
Huh?
Why is this question so difficult to answer?
I-
I just do.
Is there a need to define it?
"Difficult to answer? Let me rephrase that question for you. What is it that you like about him?"
Now that...
That was a bit easier to answer.
"His smile."
"His smile?"
"He is so kind and gentle. His smile reflects that, along with a kind of childish glee. His smile is like a ray of sunshine cutting through the clouds. It can light up the room so easily. Fill it with joy without much effort."
Be it a small gentle smile or a cheerful grin, it is all so beautiful.
And...
"Wriothesley is such a wonderful parent. You should see him with Sigewinne, Grandma Felice. She may not be his own blood, but he treats her better than most parents treat their own. So wonderful, caring, kind... Every single look, each action, every word... No matter what, as long as it is for her, everything he does is filled with so much love."
So much so that I find myself feeling jealous.
I truly am quite a greedy person.
It isn't like before. I have my own family as well now.
A family that loves and cherishes me.
And yet...
And yet I find myself coveting what belongs to a child.
I find myself wanting to share that endless, unconditional love of his as well.
Greed...
Greed is an ugly thing.
It can make people do such horrible things.
I got involved in his life, influenced his future, and for what?
Even just yesterday, I had the thought of poking the unstable tower of cards which is the argument between the insurance companies discussing who should pay what in relation to the explosion that destroyed their apartment.
I didn't do it in the end, but...
The thought of them leaving soon hurts me more than it should.
I never had a problem being alone. I preferred it, actually.
It was safe. It was peaceful.
Sometimes the children would come for a few days, other times someone would come by for dinner.
But most of the time I was alone.
And now...
Now when I think of going back to that, I find my chest tightening at the thought of not hearing the excited call of 'mister' again, most times followed by Wriothesley scolding her about running around recklessly.
I don't want them to leave.
But how do I tell them that?
How do I justify telling them that?
Suddenly, a familiar wrinkled hand appeared within my line of sight and I reached out to hold it without much thought.
There was a gentle squeeze followed by a soothing voice.
"My, my... Haven't you fallen quite deeply in love, my dear?"
"Love...?"
"Well... This is way past just liking someone, dearest." She chuckled.
Love...
Then this would be the first time I've experienced anything other than familial love.
I wonder, is this different?
I suppose it is in some ways.
"Grandma Felice, what is it like to love Grandpa Nel?" I asked.
This question earned me another chuckle.
"Love... Love is a very beautiful yet fragile thing, Neuvillette. Love is not to give and take, but to share. Share your feelings, your happiness, your sadness. Share your burdens, share all that may haunt you. To love is to trust. Trust that your other half will be there should you fall, and trust yourself to do the same. Love is like a storm sometimes. Wild and emotional. Yet other times it is like a peaceful lake. Relaxing and serene.
The relationship between Nel and I started out rocky at best. We argued and fought. We screamed at each other till we lost our voice only to storm back to our rooms huffing and puffing from anger. Outraged over things as minor as a mysterious stain on the carpet that had actually been there since we bought it secondhand. But after every fight, and every argument, we sat down and talked. Sometimes, we would talk for hours, moving on from the reason for the fight to the actual elephant in the room that had been the cause all along.
Love is not easy. It sparks greed, jealousy, possessiveness... Sometimes you look at your partner speaking with another and you can't help but think that they are a bit too close for comfort. But you say nothing about it. You bottle it up. Hide away the thoughts you consider to be ugly and shameful. You hide them away yet they leave a wound and with time this wound festers. It hurts and it hurts till you cannot take it anymore and it all explodes out. You say hurtful things, things you don't actually mean, and... You hurt the one you love and by hurting them you hurt yourself as well.
But my Nel... My lovely husband... He would always sigh at my outbursts and pull me into a deep hug without saying another word. He would always wait for me to calm down. For my actions to hit me. And then I would apologize. I would apologize and hope that he would not leave me for hurting him like that. But instead of leaving me, he would pepper me with kisses. Scold me for being a worrywart again and even these scolding would hold nothing but love.
It was after one such fight that I decided to change. To talk first before assuming. And slowly but surely we got better. And Nel... My wonderful husband was there through it all. Through all my mistakes, through all my struggles... I know now and I knew back then too that he could do better. He could have chosen to leave after I had hurt him and opted for a more peaceful life with someone else, but he stayed.
I love him because he can love me at my worst. And because he can love me at my worst I've vowed to be my best for him.
We've had our fair share of difficulties, but along with those came countless priceless moments and memories. Little things that brought joy even in the darkest moments.
To me, love is like a flower. It isn't something that just becomes perfect on its own. It requires careful care and much effort, but if you take good care of it and nurture it, it will one day bloom into a beautiful flower. A flower that will perhaps never wither till you breathe your last."
Suddenly, I felt her hold around my hand tighten, snapping me out of the daze I had fallen into.
"Now, while I might have made it out like that, living someone doesn't just mean years of drama. I just wanted you to acknowledge that... You are quite a lot to deal with, Neuvillette. I'm not saying you should not pursue love, I just want you to be prepared to make an effort for the relationship, for the two- well, with the child, three of you." She smiled down at me.
To make an effort...
"Grandma-"
"That said, your little crush needs to put in some effort himself to get Nel's approval first."
Huh?
He needs to do what with Grandpa Nel?
A thousand alarms went off in my head in an instant.
"Granma Felice, what do you mean by that?"
I have a really bad feeling about this.
"You didn't really think that we ambushed you like that for nothing, right? We've been planning this ever since you first started singing his praises out of nowhere. There was no way we would let some weird guy close to you without some questions."
But-
But-
"Grandpa Nel's gaze is too pressuring! What if Wriothesley says something that's easy to misunderstand?" I asked worriedly.
I was rewarded with a suspicious glance.
"Such as?"
"Last night I had a nightmare and he held me while I slept. It was nice and I was the one who asked him to do that, but if under Granpa Nel's gaze he blurts out something like 'I slept with-'"
Oh...
Oh oh.
Ugh...
"Neuvillette are you okay? You look pale."
No.
No, I was not okay.
"I messed up. I said something equally easy to misunderstand to Zhongli!"
What was I thinking?!
No, that's the problem.
I wasn't thinking.
Just as I was about to jump up to go and hide Wriothesley away somewhere safe while I fixed this potential misunderstanding, Grandma Felice squeezed my hand once more to gain my attention.
"Easy now... Let's go one at a time. How about saving him from my husband first?" She smiled reassuringly.
Right.
One at a time.
Let's just hope Wriothesley has yet to say anything too incriminating.