We both get down silently by the side of the library and the car walks away. Oh my god!! What in the world should I feel? Aadarsh would go to this extent. I know my parents were really strict and talked to his parents very formally about the issue. But he would go to this extent? Did this men ever really love me? How abusive can one be?
I try to calm down myself.
" Are you okay?" He asks concerned. He knows what just happened. It is 2:30 at the night. And I am losing my shit really.
" Yeah I think I am fine. He is like that. It's okay. It will be fine." I try to stand straight. Everything seems so heavy. I feel so much hot and sweaty. I am taking a lot of stress. I should calm my nerves down.
We both proceed to the library. Everyone is chitchatting along side the garden taking a stroll. Aashna Di and Kalpana are clicking photos still. They all look at me and Abhi.
"HEY Anika. You got here a bit late. We are all tired yet not tired. Hahahaha." She laughs like crazy. They all are still enjoying their hangover maybe.
I give her a weak smile and try to calm myself down. I don't feel good at all. Nausea is getting over me. Maybe because I am a little too drunk too.
I look at Vihaan standing so composed like it's still day and he still wants to do his work. He looks at me, makes a tense face then looks away. Was it so hard for him to fit me inside his car? What an idiot.
" I feel sleepy. Good night everybody." I say trying to rush to my room.
" Uh wait. You have to give me the file first." says Vihaan taking a step ahead.
What a dick. He is doing it on purpose in order to get back at me.
" May I give it to you in the morning sir?" I ask politely.
" You may not. Give it now." He says vehemently.
To the hell with him. I rush to my room to take out the file and come out. Nobody's here. It's been like 5 minutes and everybody's gone or what that too without saying a goodbye.
I climb the stairs to reach the library. I can hear someone inside the library. I prepare myself to go and just hand it over to him in 2 mins and then return back.
Vihaan is taking off his coat and loosing off his tie. It's been a long day for everyone obviously. And here I am still in this heavy bridal like attire. I just want to get rid of it and sleep like a rabbit without remembering of whatever happened with me in the meantime.
" Sir, the report." I say while handing it over to him. He takes it while giving me a deep stern look. Abhi sir is standing there too with his hands crossed and a stern look. What if this idiot told him everything.
" Files are fine. I'll check them soon." He says calmly. He is loosing his tie and rolling his sleeves. I see the his belt kept on a table neatly folded.
Now it's all getting to me. I remember that guy taking off his belt and keeping it on side. I remember his face grinning like a monster and warning me to stay quiet. I take my mind off it. I suddenly start feeling very hot around my face like loo is gushing over my face in a chilly winter. I try to calm down.
And the next moment, my chest suddenly starts to hurt. I feel very helpless at this moment. Like nothing feels good and everything is dreadful. Like I won't be able to live any longer. Like this is the end. I try to catch back my breath by deep breathing but no I just can't.
" Are the windows not open? It's just very hot in here." I say worryingly.
" Urm I have just opened the AC." Says Abhi sir.
" Oh okay sir can I go?." I ask Vihaan Sir hurriedly.
" Uh wait for a while. This will take few minutes." He is marking everything in file.
The temperature is not going down. It's getting heavy. My chest feels heavy. I feel very uneasy and uncomfortable all of a sudden like somebody is sitting over me. I don't feel good that's the only thing I know now. And my chest starts hurting. It's hurting bad. My muscles are tense and the pain is there in my hands too. What If something is so terrible with my health.
" Uh you haven't marked the people who have arrived here." Vihaan says looking up at me.
I am not good. I keep a hand on my chest. All my muscles feel so tight. The pain is there in my left hand and my back and I guess everywhere. I feel breathless.
" Sir I don't feel alright. I feel like I am having a heart attack. It's very serious. I can't breathe. It's it's painful." I say out loud trying to gasp for air. " Please help. Call an ambulance. It's not right." I say out loud again.
Vihaan observes me getting breathless. " Are you okay?" He asks calmly.
Vihaan rises hurriedly from his chair and comes in front of me. He pushes me down towards the chair calmly again. Is he mad. I might die. What the fuck does he care?
Abhi Sir rushes towards the phone and starts dialing.
" Stop. Bring water." Vihaan says calmly.
" Wateeeerrrr.." I gasp for air again. Feeling of impending doom has crossed over me like anything. " Sir I can't breathe. I feel breathless. I will die. It's not getting better. Oh no. I will die. The pain. My body is aching, I will pass out." I say out loud. I have completely freaked out at this point.
My heart beats like crazy. It's in my ears and I feel dizzy like I'll pass out anytime. All I know is I am scared. Scared of everything. Scared of living. Scared of dying. Like all this world would sink down in a mound of garbage and I will be at the lowest of it.
" Calm down. Take a deep breath." Vihaan says.
" It won't help. I need an ambulance. I will pass out." I say catching for air, breathing so heavily. Abhi sir looks out of his mind.
" Look at me. Look at me. Look in my eyes." Vihaan says raising his voice. He is literally on his knees and I don't give a fuck. He is trying to kill me or something. He takes my hand and starts rubbing it back and forth. My hands are sweaty and I don't have courage to feel awkward.
I look at him with fear. " Take a deep breath. Breathe in to 4, hold your breath to 7 and exhale to 8. Do this without freaking out. If it's a heart attack, it will get better. Ambulance is on its way. I called for it through my emergency button." He says with deep concern.
I follow him. I breath in to 4, hold on to 4 and exhale to 8. Things seem to get in hold but not better. " I I can't."
" Shhh. Just do it 8 times. It's a panic attack. It will get better. You must be nervous or something. It will get better. Just believe in me okay. I have practised in psychiatry. Just trust me." He says calmly.
" What if it's a heart attack? What if I die." I say while tears start gushing down my cheeks.
" You are 22 Anika. You are healthy. It cannot happen to you okay. Do you have an underlying heart issue?" He asks.
" No. I don't." I say with pain.
Abhi sir brings the BP machine. Vihaan takes my hand and fixes the tape around my arm. It's 142/100. It's elevated. Damnn..
" Chill. It will get better. I promise. Just keep your faith." Says Vihaan in a relaxed manner. Who taught him this? Is he a doctor or something. Holy grail.
After approx 7 minutes of crying and shivering, I feel better. I drink the water.
Vihaan checks my BP again. 117/68 it is.
"See." He says assuringly. " What happened with you today? Did my orders made you this stressed out?" He asks looking at me.
I can't meet his eyes. He is gorgeous and I can't help my situation anymore.
" It surely must have been the car incident. She got harassed badly." says Abhi sir loudly.
Man this man. I can't tell him everything here. It just does not make sense. Aadarsh's father recently got promoted again. I don't trust Aadarsh at all. His guts can ruin anything. If these people will ever get to know that it was Aadharsh. Aadarsh will not let it slide silently. He will take revenge in the worst way possible. I am very strong but at this point I trust nobody. Not even me. I have not been this scared from a long time.
" Yea but we don't know who it was. Also it was not that big of a deal." I say trying to relax meanwhile.
" But it was." Abhi sir interrupts.
" It was nothing that big. But yes that thing might have triggered me." I say while trying to communicate with Abhi. He stays quiet while nodding silently.
" Wait what happened?" says Vihaan looking flinched.
" It was nothing. This man was passing lines. I might have got triggered by that. And I was thinking too much about this situation so maybe that's why." I say trying to close the matter then and there.
" Something happened and you both let them go and pretend to be normal. But wait they are your relatives right?" Vihaan speaks lastly while I try to make it make sense.
" Urm I really don't have any idea about that one man. He was abusing others so they kept mum because of that." I say calmly.
" What? There was a stranger in the car? " asks Vihaan shockingly.
"No. I mean he was some guest only. His destination was same as the friends so they agreed to his request." I observe Vihaan's muscles getting tense. He is really confused and active at this point. I have to slide this matter in any way possible. " But yea it was nothing. He just said something about my eyes and that was it and was singing a song that I don't really know uhh yea that's what happened." I say gulping my saliva. I don't know if I sound convincing enough. I want to brush it off as soon as possible.
"Did they touch you?" asks Vihaan with concern in his eyes.
What should I even say at this point. From the looks of it, he really takes care of his employees. I didn't expect this much from him.
" Urm I really don't know. I was drunk." I observe his face muscles getting dense. " But I don't think he touched me as far as I remember." I say calmly.
" Really?" He asks not believing a word I say.
" Yea I think I am certain." I reply "Infact Abhi sir was sleeping so it was not that serious to be honest. I think I might have taken the situation too seriously. Also it might be due to the underlying stress that I've been taking due to my exams." I say trying to make it sound more convincing.
" Whatever might be the case you need to report the matter. Meet me again tomorrow and we'll go to register a complaint." says Vihaan getting up and turning to his chair. He sits down and takes a sip of water and starts thinking something.
" it's really fine sir. I'll inform bhaiya about this. I am fine too." I reply.
" Do you regularly have instances like this? With your behaviour I mean." He asks seriously.
" Urm no. I don't think I am still sure of what just happened with me. It's just that I got really breathless and dizzy and things just started feeling horrible to me. I think I am too tired. I need to take some rest." I say to him calmly trying to divert the situation.
" Urm Ahana is coming here tomorrow. I'll fix one session for you with her." He says while getting up.
Ahana is a great psychologist in Delhi and I've actually seen her performing her job really well. But why would I need a psychologist. I think I will do just fine.
" Uh I am really fine sir. There's no need. Thankyou so much for your help. You've already done a lot for me. Good night." I say and leave.