•••small town rumors•••
The tempurature seems to drop extremely fast as I wait for him. The sky goes down to dark, and so does the temp. It seems like hours when he finally comes around a corner, coming into view. "Oh my god!" I breath out with relief as I stand up. "Cole." I walk over to him, and look up into his eyes. My hands are around myself in a hug, trying to warm myself up.
"Are you okay?" He asks me, wrapping me in a tight hug. I shrug, not wanting to divulge anything to him.
"Let's go."
He guides me to his car, halfway to it, starting to rain. "Shit." I whisper.
Cole opens the passenger door for me, despite all of the angry tension between us. I already know this car ride isnt going to be good, especially after how I treated him in the lunch room.
In complete. silence, he drives down the road, starring straight forward. The loud rain pounds onto the vehicle. The familiar smell of the natural water oozes into the car with us, bringing me some form of comfort. My fingers are cold, burried under my thighs, attempting to warm them up.
I finally look over at Cole, remembering Nathan. "Thank you for calling me about Nathan." I whisper, moving my eyes to the dusty dashboard. Cole says nothing, staying like a stone. "I said thank you." I add, my voice getting sharper. "Cole. Fine. Im sorry about the damn cafeteria. How did I know that was going to be a problem?" I add, louder.
My eyes fly up to the road as I notice him pulling over the car. "What are you doing?" My curiousity gets the best of me as he puts the car into park.
He unbuckles his seatbelt, quickly, and with a sharp yank at the seatbelt, he turns to me with his hand still on the wheel. "You know, I dont remember what you said in the cafeteria. Care to remind me?" Suddenly, his attitude is at an all time high.
I sit back, my face falling into even more attitude than he could ever muster. I am ten times more angry than him. "No Cole. This stupid childs game. You know exactly what I said because it is clearly effecting you this much. Im just trying to make things right between us again."
"For Alex?" He asks me, bringing his brother into the conversation.
Rolling my eyes at him, I shake my head, appalled he would even suggest him. "I never mentioned him. But yes it would be nice, because you both should apologize."
"You might find this difficult to understand New York, but here its the guy who throws the punch that apologizes, not the guy with the black eye." He points at his face.
"Oh shut up Cole! Dont make me feel like a fucking idiot. First, you know Im not full New York, and second, you literally had it coming."
"Oh, uh huh right. Cause I stole Paige?" He asks with sarcasm, sitting back in his seat.
"Thats exactly why." I cross my arms. "You went after your brothers girlfriend Cole. I knew you did some shit. But I never ever expected that."
"I didnt do anything wrong." He repeats, not meeting my eyes. I shake my head with a deep breath. How thick headed can you be?
"Please just admit it. Once you do, you know it will be better. Everyone will move on." Coles eyes fly up to mine.
"Oh move on? You mean Alex with you?"
"Why do you keep bringing him into this?" I yell, completely in the dark. Is he that jealous? If he was, his actions would absolutely say differently.
"Look Im sorry I dont get it. Is it because hes a good guy? He makes you feel stable? But look, he didnt even call you when Nathan was in the hospital!" Cole gets a couple things right in his statement. He knows me so well, but I will not let him have that satisfaction.
"He didnt want to worry us!"
"Yeah, right, sounds like youre just making excuses because hes safe."
Shaking my head, again, I unbuckle my seatbelt and adjust, so I am looking at him more. "Ive been hanging out with Alex because he doesnt treat girls like you do. Hes not throwing me around."
"Like I do? What is it I do?" He laughs, unbelievingly.
"Yes. You sleeping with random girls, the way you treated Erin, what you did to Paige too!"
"And youre just little miss innocent huh? Flirting with me, and kissing me, and then cozying up with Alex? We had this exact conversation just the other night Elle. I thought you wouldve at least done some thought."
I close my eyes. "Ive never ever cozied up with Alex. Ive been waiting for you to maybe get in some fucking good state of mind, so we can be friends again Cole! You need at least apologize with everyone before you even think we can be anything!"
He sits up, and slams his back into the seat. "Sure just friends." His tone is dead now, not even sure what to say.
With that, I turn around, and open the door into the pouring rain. I dont even care that it is like this. I need to fucking get away from him. Distance is the best thing for us. I step into the rain, my heart beginning to pound from everything that just happened.
"Hey Elle! Youre going to get lost again!" Cole yells over the loud rain, stepping out his door too.
"Im on the road now genius." I call back.
"This is so stupid! Come back! Hey, maybe youre right." I stop, not even turning around to see how far he is from me. "Maybe I have pulled some dick moves with girls in the past. Okay? But swear Paige," I turn around, my eyes meeting his. The ones that are absolutely broken. The ones I get lost in every ime. The ones I can relate to so much. The ones that challenge me. The ones I hate and the ones I like so much. "She came onto me. I had no idea she and Alex were together. Until I saw his reaction at the party. But I had known there was anything going on between them, anything at all, it would have never happened. Theres no way I would hurt my little brother like that. Not then, not ever. And I thought after everything, that you of all people, would know that." His whole rant, I couldnt keep myself away. Not even thinking about it, I took steps towards him, and now I stand, a foot away from him. "But I guess I was wrong."
I'm contemplating everything ever. There is so much I want to do right now, but I have no idea the outcomes. I have no idea what would happen between us or anyone else. I want to be with him. I want to kiss him so hard right now, but I don't want reprocussions. I want to ignore it after this, until we can figure it all out. I hope he is on the same page.
"Cole I," I take a pause with a deep breath, not even sure how to ask him yet. "I know you would never hurt your brother like that. Which is why I need you to know, Alex and I are not together." His eyes lighten, knowing what I am incinuating. "I understand all of that. And I am so sorry for everything Ive done. I just need you to apologize. We need to figure this out. Because if we don't," He nods, understanding what Im saying before I even finish. "This," I gesture between us. "Will keep being a secret."
Cole nods once. Giving me a long blink. Droplets from the sky fall into his eyelashes, and then down his face. He looks beautiful, but I cant imagine the state I am in.
When he finally opens his beautiful green eyes, I drown in them again. My entire body erupts in chills. His hand runs up my sleeve and to my cheek. His warm thumb moves up and down my cheek. I cant help it as my hand lands on his cheek, and under his arm, at his waist. Neither of us know what is happening. Neither of us can help this. It is an undescribable feeling.
Taking deep breaths at the same pace, it becomes only us. We step closer, just watching each other, our hands moving ever so slightly ever once in a while.
I could admire every inch of him without even strictly thinking about it. It makes no sense what is happening here. I like organization. I like knowing what will happen. I like control. But I love this lack of sense between us.
Cole and I have no idea what to do, we are trying to decide in our minds as we get absolutely soaked from the nonstop rain.
"Elle I crave these escapes more than you know. If a secret is what we need right now, I am fine with that." He finally whispers to me, making my stomach erupt in absolute butterflies. A smile climbs across my face as I nod, our foreheads hitting each other lightly.
"Youre so complicated." I joke, shaking my head.
"I know. You can keep hating me after all this. There is definitely reason."
"I dont hate you. I never could. But I know." He also smiles before his pulls my face to his, and like magic, our lips meet.
A electric current erupts all over my body. My hand at his waist squeezes him, pulling his body onto mine. And my other hand on his cheek runs into his hair, pulling his head down a little as I look up even more at him.
His large hands move along my body, like hes trying to map out everything. He is so gentle, yet so perfectly rough when pulling my middle against him. Every time Ive looked at him for the past couple days, this is what Ive seen. All I could remember was being in that bathroom with him.
Trying to fall asleep was so hard because I wasnt able to stop thinking about him. I wish we never had to make this so complicated.
Cole bites at my lip, making me grin against his lips before I seperate from him, grabbing his hand. "What are you doing?" He asks me, as I lay down, halfway in the road.
"Come here." I demand. At first, I was going to go back into the car, and finish all of the kissing there, but instead, I figured some distance would be good for us. We are still angry teenagers, and we need to just figure some things out before doing anything.
"Elle, get up, there might be cars." He shakes his head. The water pounds down against me, pulling me down against the earth. It feels so freeing to just surrender myself.
"Oh come on Cowboy, no cars have passed in the last," I pretend to check my nonexistent watch, making him laugh. "Eleven minutes." He shakes his head nervously as he lays down beside me. Our arms are touching, and my hand is still in his. "You remember me telling you to live a little?"
"I do." He laughs.
"It was the day Jackies hair got bleached, and you took me to the watering hole. When I went into the water, and you were freaking out. I thought you were a rebel and would do it with me.But you were actually really worried. And then I almost drown because of the undertow." This whole scenario reminds me of that day. He is always the one saying live a little to everyone else, but when it comes to me, he won't say it, because he knows I'll challenge him. He knows I'm alive.
"I remember, you dont have to remind me." He chuckles nervously.
"I was so surprised that you werent as crazy as me."
"I was as crazy as you, I just wanted to watch out for you."
"You know the crazy thing?" I ask him, looking over at him. His eyes were previously on the side of my face, taking me in.
"Hm?" He hums with question.
"I dont think it wouldve bothered me if I got taken away by the current." I admit. His eyes go wide. Ive never admitted anything like that to anyone before. But Cole just gets that piece of me.
"Why not?" He asks with understanding instead of anger or confusion.
I shrug. "I was just so sad. I had no idea what to do. I was so so lost." I swallow, a pit growing in my stomach from even talking about that time of my life. "Im glad you saved me."
"I am beyond glad I saved you Elle. I want you to be happy."
I smile again, squeezing his hand once. "I want you to be happy too." I repeat back to him. "I know youve been struggling recently. Ive seen you drinking and smoking." His eyes fly away from mine, ashamed of himself. "I understand wanting to do that. And Im not shaming you for it. I just cant wait for you to figure everything out. I wish I could save you too." I confess, spreading chills along my own arms. This whole night has been complete honesty with each other, which Ive only ever reached complete honesty with Lucy.
Everything gets locked up in my mind so I dont hurt anyone. But Cole and I, we are meant to be hurt right now. He understands my hurt.
"Elle, you dont need to do anything to save me. Youve done your part. I just need to figure out mine." I hope he does.
I hope he figures out everything so I can finally put everything in my mind at peace. There will no longer be a piece of me biased to Alex. Cole and I can go back to acting like this in the real world, not in our escape.