From dropping out to that fight where he was outnumbered, Wei Qian had been living a mechanical and repetitive life for a year, a life that felt like coarse sandpaper grinding away the youthful recklessness from his skin like dead cells.
The doors to his future were slowly closing in front of him, time pushed him to run tirelessly. Wei Qian initially thought such days would be filled with pain, but later he realized that once a person is in the midst of "painful days," their sensitivity to "pain" diminishes. He still managed to find joy and talked about it with relish for a long time, making the year pass quickly.
One of those incidents was caused by Wei Zhiyuan.
Zhiyuan was not like Xiaobao; Wei Qian didn’t have to say much for him to listen, usually not needing to waste words. But unexpectedly, when it came to going to school, this kid actually learned to resist.
Wei Zhiyuan absolutely refused to go to school. His living environment was somewhat abnormal, knowing excessively about things related to survival, yet astonishingly lacking the common knowledge a normal child should have. He had no concept of school; Xiaobao told him, going to school meant sitting in a classroom to learn reading and arithmetic. Wei Zhiyuan thought about it and decided he had no interest in reading and arithmetic either.
The little boy stubbornly believed that going to school meant doing nothing, living a life of ease and laziness, dependent on his elder brother.
This made him fearful of going to school—even though that autumn, Wei Zhiyuan had been picked up by Wei Qian for a full year, had blended well with Xiaobao to the point of being very close, and even frequently fought and wrestled together, he still harbored a fear of being abandoned at any moment.
Wei Zhiyuan saw contributing to the household as a way to alleviate this fear, doing chores and collecting bottles to sell for change were his ways of contributing. When he was "deprived" of the opportunity to contribute, Wei Zhiyuan subconsciously felt it was a precursor to being abandoned, leading to his fierce resistance.
Wei Qian was as busy as a dog every day, of course, he wouldn't notice the twisted little minds of young children. On the morning of the school's opening day, he simply and crudely dragged Wei Zhiyuan and Song Xiaobao out of the house, ignoring Zhiyuan's flailing and attempts to lock the door from the inside, then dragged and pulled them all the way to school.
During this, Wei Zhiyuan behaved like a cat with its fur standing on end, held aloft by Wei Qian along with his backpack, feet dangling in the air, flailing and biting in a desperate attempt to escape, occasionally attracting the attention of passersby.
They bumped into San Pang on the way, who couldn't help but laugh upon seeing them: "Yo, Qian'er, what's this about? He's struggling so hard, have you finally decided to butcher them for meat?"
Wei Qian slapped Wei Zhiyuan hard on the butt: "Hear that, you disgraceful thing? Even pigs led to slaughter have more dignity than you!"
Wei Zhiyuan, red-faced and neck bulging, declared: "I'm not going to school!"
Song Xiaobao, stirring up trouble and hopping around beside them, happily parroted: "Then I'm not going to school either!"
Just as Wei Qian was about to speak, another cry for freedom erupted nearby, another little boy being forcibly dragged to school by his dad, crying his heart out along the way, despairingly saying, "I don't want to go to school!"
The boy's mom followed closely, chattering away at her son, trying to educate him from the perspective of becoming a scientist to earning big money, from future prospects to buying him braised pork knuckles in the evening, covering everything from astronomy to the history of the past five thousand years.
As the elder brother, Wei Qian couldn't agree with this tedious method of education. He preferred a straightforward approach, scoffing coldly, turning his head to give those two troublemakers a noble, chilly glance, and said heartlessly: "Did I ask for your opinions? Do you two think you have the right to say 'no'?"
His words, firm and authoritative, silenced Wei Zhiyuan immediately. Song Xiaobao, who was just going with the flow, also quickly backed down, not causing any more trouble. Even the boy who couldn't be consoled stopped sobbing all of a sudden, inexplicably no longer daring to cry.
Wei Qian put Wei Zhiyuan down at the school entrance, gesturing towards the elementary school with a nod of his chin, speaking with a tone as if granting amnesty: "Go in."
Song Xiaobao took a few steps, then looked back to see Wei Zhiyuan still standing there, hesitating, and stopped as well.
Wei Qian, completely out of patience, frowned at Zhiyuan: "What’s with the rebellion? What do you want?"
Wei Zhiyuan stiffened his neck and remained silent, Wei Qian scoffed coldly: "Go or don't, I'm not begging you. If you're so capable, then run away."
Wei Zhiyuan instinctively took a step back, not afraid of his brother getting angry, but dreading his cold, mocking indifference.
Wei Qian, tired of indulging his whims, turned and walked away.
Wei Zhiyuan felt extremely wronged inside. All along, he had tried hard to get closer to this person, to do more for him, but it seemed no matter what he did, it was never appreciated. His brother always seemed like someone he could never please, always leaving him with a view of his retreating back, even a smile was a rarity.
Suddenly, Wei Zhiyuan lunged forward and bit Wei Qian's wrist.
Wei Qian instinctively pulled his hand back, and the young boy's sharp teeth struck against his wristbone. Wei Zhiyuan suddenly let go, and when Wei Qian looked down, he saw the boy spit out his first baby tooth.
Wei Zhiyuan's expression was one of utter shock; no one had ever told him about losing teeth. He could understand teeth being knocked out, but for one to fall out on its own was beyond his comprehension.
In Wei Zhiyuan's understanding, arms and legs could be cut off, and cutting them wouldn't kill you, but would they just fall off on their own?
Standing there shivering, Wei Zhiyuan stared blankly at his fallen tooth, his face showing a mix of shock and fear, reminiscent of someone in a TV drama who just learned they have a terminal illness.
Wei Qian was amusingly distracted by his bizarre expression, nearly losing his composure and breaking into laughter. He turned away, laughing as he left, even forgetting to be upset about the bite.
Wei Zhiyuan was annoyed and confused, and to make matters worse, Song Xiaobao, ever the instigator of chaos, saw the whole thing and began to dramatically exclaim, "Oh no, your tooth fell out! You must be deeply poisoned, your days are numbered!"
Wei Qian had spent five dollars on an old TV someone had thrown away, fixed it up, and recently, Song Xiaobao had been watching wuxia films on it, picking up a bunch of nonsensical jargon.
Unintentionally spoken, yet taken to heart, Wei Zhiyuan turned pale upon hearing these words, instinctively looking for Wei Qian, only to find him gone. Suddenly, a deep desolation overwhelmed him; feeling like a ghost, he was aimlessly dragged into the school by Song Xiaobao, thinking to himself, "I'm going to die."
Wei Zhiyuan stopped resisting going to school with Wei Qian — he was going to die, after all, so all struggles seemed pointless.
During that time, Wei Zhiyuan often woke up in the middle of the night, sitting up in darkness, feeling his other teeth becoming increasingly loose, convinced his days were numbered. He endured the torment and sting of imminent separation from life, greedily gazing at Wei Qian's peaceful sleeping face, as if wanting to imprint his brother's image in his mind to carry to the next world.
A month later, with three teeth gone and his speech becoming sibilant, Wei Zhiyuan chose silence, adopting a stoic demeanor as he awaited death.
In this period, while other kids were still grappling with Pinyin, Wei Zhiyuan, driven by his extraordinary learning ability and a motivation unlike any other, self-taught himself the commonly used characters from the back of the textbook—his motivation being to leave behind a suicide note before he died.
For this letter, Wei Zhiyuan made a special request to learn how to use a dictionary from his teacher, spending every moment of his break and playtime feverishly learning characters from the old dictionary lent to him by the teacher.
Thus, with his undivided attention, thinking a dying person had no need for making friends, he paid no mind to anyone, naturally failing to notice that there were many other kids in class who, like him, spoke with a lisp due to missing teeth.
Finally, as the mid-term exams approached, Wei Zhiyuan, with the resolve of someone on their deathbed, learned hundreds of Chinese characters and incidentally scored full marks in his Chinese language exam.
Unmoved by praise or scorn, he paid no attention to the teacher's commendation, rushing to complete his magnum opus—a suicide note—before all his teeth fell out.
On the day when Mazi and San Pang were having dinner at Wei Qian's place, Wei Zhiyuan solemnly handed his suicide note over to Wei Qian.
San Pang asked without any hint of understanding, "Yo, little brother, you've been in school for just two months and you're already writing love letters to your big brother?"
Wei Qian, with chopsticks in his mouth, took the letter, opened it quickly, and started reading with interest. Wei Zhiyuan glanced at him, his mood heavy, and lowered his head: "It's a will."
San Pang didn't hear clearly: "What is it?"
Wei Zhiyuan said with the calm of a soldier facing sacrifice: "It's a will. I'm about to die."
Everyone looked at him with a bizarre expression.
After a pause, Mazi asked, "How... how did you, you figure you're about to die?"
Wei Zhiyuan felt a blockage in his throat, making his voice barely a whisper: "I've lost several teeth, and several more are loose."
San Pang's fleshy face twitched, and he carefully asked, "Didn't you... notice any new teeth growing in the places where the old ones fell out?"
Finally, Wei Zhiyuan couldn't hold back his sob: "Isn't that just the last light before death?"
Everyone was silent for two seconds, then San Pang and Wei Qian looked at each other and burst into laughter. Only Mazi tried to be kind, barely suppressing his laughter: "Don’t—hey, don't laugh, you... don’t make fun of him, he... he's still young..."
Wei Qian choked on his own saliva, rolled onto the sofa, coughing and laughing simultaneously, tears streaming down his face.
Big brother, always so serious at home, never showed such unrestrained laughter in front of them. Wei Zhiyuan was almost stunned, momentarily forgetting all about the "parting of life and death."
He hadn't expected that his brother, whom no matter how much he tried to please seemed indifferent, could be so thoroughly amused by a mistaken will.
So, later on, for reasons unknown even to himself, Wei Zhiyuan secretly treasured that "will."
Later, when Wei Qian made a name for himself in Le Ge's nightclub, Xiaobao and Zhiyuan had already safely advanced to the second grade.
It's said that Wei Qian impressed many onlookers that day, and a southern boss visiting the area, Hu Siye, took a particular liking to him, secretly passing him a business card in an attempt to recruit him. Unfortunately, Wei Qian, with family responsibilities, couldn't leave and had to decline Hu Siye's kind offer.
From then on, "Little Wei" became "Brother Wei."
Wei Qian did indeed fracture his arm, which was set at the hospital. Le Ge's attitude towards him did a complete 360-degree turn, being very attentive and personally driving him home. He also called Mazi over to help take good care of him, saying there was no need for work in the near future, but the salary would continue.
Mazi, to help support the household, also worked under Le Ge—Mazi was responsible for cleaning the nightclub early every morning.
Mazi cleaned diligently, but sadly, he didn't have much to show for it. If it weren't for Wei Qian, Le Ge might not even remember him. On the other hand, as San Pang grew older, he began to distance himself from Le Ge and his group. Although still connected by brotherhood, he would only offer help or support occasionally out of loyalty.
San Pang seemed to have more passion for the family business of butchering and selling meat.
When Wei Qian, with his broken arm, returned home to rest, the two kids came back from school.
Wei Zhiyuan, without even putting down his bag, rushed over: "Bro!"
Mazi quickly stopped him: "You can't... can't pounce on him, his... his arm..."
Wei Zhiyuan's brows furrowed: "What's wrong with his arm?"
Wei Qian, with a cigarette in his mouth, mumbled: "Got bitten by a dog."
Song Xiaobao, ever carefree, commented: "How come a dog bite is wrapped up like a rice dumpling?"
Wei Zhiyuan's face was tight with concern, ready to ask more, but Wei Qian clearly didn't want to elaborate. He put on a stern face: "Do your homework. What are you wasting words for? Don't meddle in adults' affairs."
With that, he dismissed the children without further discussion.
Mazi, seeing Wei Zhiyuan's reluctant look and rubbing his hands, turned to Wei Qian and said: "Tonight, San... San Ge will cook for you, I... I still have to go..."
Although Le Ge generously gave him time off, Mazi didn't dare to take it seriously.
Mazi, feeling a bit awkward, looked at Wei Qian, stuttering as he tried to explain. Mazi was always straightforward; deceit was not in his nature. Wei Qian had known him long enough to understand this, waving his hand: "Alright, I know. Go on, you!"
Mazi, with difficulty, advised: "Don't... don't touch water, be... be careful..."
Wei Qian replied: "Alright, alright, do me a favor and talk less. You save your energy, and I might live a couple more years."
After Mazi left and San Pang was cooking in the kitchen, Wei Qian, utterly bored, picked up a piece of extracurricular reading material belonging to Xiaobao and started reading.
The material, distributed by the school for second graders, usually featured inspirational stories about heroic figures. After reading, the kids were expected to write book reports, sometimes even requiring parental supervision and signatures on the homework.
Reading a few stories, Wei Qian suddenly felt rather foolish. In these tales, either the characters were sacrificing themselves for their country at a young age or overcoming insurmountable odds despite disabilities, still managing to study hard and aim high. It seemed everyone's troubles were greater than his, yet they still managed to become role models.