I watched Elijah as he was explaining our assignment to us. I was all happy on the inside, the last four weeks between us have been good. We have no bumps in the road and we were all just chilling happily.
I went to meet a therapist about what happened that night and it actually helped me. I just get trying to brush what happened to me under the rug, because others have experienced way worse than me. I didn't think what happened mattered, but it did affect me.
I tried to act like I was normal, which didn't work in my favor at all. It just made me worse without even knowing, but I'm getting there. I have been going to my sessions and on my fifth one.
Now I'm doing better. I feel better and have a better deeper understanding of my emotions on why I disregarded what happened to me. I was comparing my experiences to others, because I always felt invalid somehow. I was glad that they decided to get me a therapist, because it's helped a lot.
Elijah soon dismissed us and Keon wasn't in our lecture today. I had texted him to see what was up, but I think he was sick. I would check up on him, but he was being a bitch to me the other day, so he can perfectly suffers where he is.
I packed up my things and I waited around for Elijah. He was talking to a few of the girls and I watched with annoyance. One of them was resting on his desk and the two other girls were laughing. I rolled my eyes and I folded my arms. Move the fuck along.
He rubbed his beard and he smiled as he answered a question. I scowled and I was just glaring daggers at him. It was like he felt my stare and he looked in my direction. He smiled and he dismissed the girls. They left and I went up to his desk.
There were still a few people in the lecture hall, so I couldn't jump on him and shower him with kisses. Elijah had grown down his beard again, so he was giving off an older fine man with a beard. He looked so sexy with a beard that I just wanted him to eat my pussy.
"Iris, how can I help?"
"I need to speak to you in your office."
"Do you know?" He asked, smugly.
"Yes, hurry up."
I turned away from him and started walking off, left his classroom. I walked down the hallway and all the Valentine's Day decorations were already up. I can't believe Valentine's was already around the corner. I was excited for Valentine's, because I knew it was nothing, but fun nasty sweaty dirty sex.
I was mostly excited for that as I have been waiting for the right moment with them. I have a therapy session later on today and I hate the fact I will be discussing my sex life with a random woman, I just want to be sure I'm ready.
I stood outside of his office waiting. I rested against the wall and I checked the time. Five minutes went by, then ten minutes went by. I walked up and down the hallway aimlessly waiting for him. What was even taking him so long.
I sighed and kept walking up and down the hallway. I looked on the random boards in the hallway reading the stuff on them. The different books that were studied and it giving a rundown of the assignments.
"Iris," he calls.
I turned and he was standing near his door opening it with his key. I hurried towards him and he opened his door. He went in turning on the lights and he held the door open for me. I went into his office and he let the door shut behind him.
"What took you so long?" I asked.
"I had to speak to a teacher, I'm sorry."
He kissed my forehead and he moved away going to his desk. I put my bag down in one of his chairs, then moved around his desk.
"About?"
"A meeting that's being held later on today about the curriculum," he answered.
"Female or Male co-worker?" I asked.
He was sat in his chair, he had it pushed back, because I was sitting on his desk. I completely blocked the view of his computer, so he couldn't do any work. I played with the hem of my skirt.
Today I wore a khaki cargo skirt and a white crop top. I wore my white Jordans to keep it looking simple and cute. I recently got my hair done, but I had put my hair back into a claw clip. I wasn't trying to have my hair in my face at all today, so I put it up.
"You're jealous," he said.
"Why would I be jealous?"
I gazed at him and I began fiddling with my bracelet. I had gotten a new charm three weeks ago, because Gray was proud of me for not skipping my economic lectures since I was doing a bit too much. I have stopped skipping as it only affects me and nobody else.
"You were glaring at me earlier," he mentions.
"Mhm was I?"
"You were and you gave me your death stare," he laughed.
"Because they were flirting with you and you were entertaining them," I said.
I rolled my eyes and he gently pinched my thigh. Elijah doesn't like when I roll my eyes, but I don't even care. Rolling my eyes is my favorite thing. He came closer to me and it made my pussy throb. I haven't been intimate with them for almost two months now.
I would expect them to want to break of our contract, but instead they comforted me and cuddled me. They gave me all the kisses I wanted, they always made sure I was okay and always checked up on me.
"You know, you should never be jealous," he says.
"No."
"No?"
He was smiling with his brow raised and I folded my arms. How can I not be jealous when girls are flirting with him, but I know he's all mine. Still it doesn't mean he doesn't find them cute or could enter a relationship with another student after me.
"You could think one of them cute or you would want to be in another student teacher relationship."
"Absolutely not, You are the first and the last. I knew you before you were my student," he defended, quickly.
"So if we never met at the club, you wouldn't have become my dom?"
"No, I wouldn't have even looked at you in that way," he answered.
"Okay, what if I came to the club and you saw me there?"
He pressed his lips together as he thought about it. He leaned forward and he rested his head on my lap and rested his hand on my thighs.
"That I do not know, maybe."
I played with his hair for a bit and he yawned. I tilted my head to the side as I saw he had his eyes closed. He must be tired if he's closing his eyes. I played with his hair and allowed him to use my lap as a pillow.
Even though my ass would start hurting me sooner or later, I liked seeing him rest. He moved his hands to be around me and he stayed like that. I just admired him as he rested his head. I continued to brush his hair with my fingers and was probably ruining his hair.
Sooner or later my ass did start hurting me and I wanted to get up, I didn't want to move. I shifted a bit, which made him lift his head up. He looked up at me through lazy eyes.
"Were you actually sleeping?" I ask.
He nodded his head and he sat up. He yawned again and he covered his mouth. I wish I could bring him a coffee that way, he could at least get some energy.
"Did you have your morning coffee?"
"No and I stayed up late last night."
He yawned again and I have never actually seen him tired in school. He rubbed his face and let out a sigh.
"Should I get you coffee?"
"Don't worry princess, I'm gonna get some now, but I just needed to rest for a little bit."
"I can come back later if you want me to?" I suggested.
"Don't you have a session later?"
"I do."
"That's more important, I will see you on Wednesday or on Friday."
"Nope you will see tonight, after my session."
"Okay, well go get something to eat before your second class."
"I will."
I get off his desk and I leaned in to kiss him. I gave him a small peck and played with his beard for a second. I also quickly fixed his hair as I had messed it up a bit.
"Bye daddy."
"Bye princess."
I gave him another peck and I grabbed my bag leaving his office.
***
"So how are you doing today Iris?"
"I'm doing pretty good," I responded.
I reached toward the little table in front of us and picked up one of the fidget toys. I had picked up the rubix cube. It was the small one and only had four squares instead of the big one. I never attempted to solve it, I just fiddled with it.
"We have had five sessions in total, you have made it known that you didn't want to do this, so would you like to discuss anything so far about your treatment?"
"Umm... I'm not sure. I mean I feel that I'm in a better place than I have been in a while. I have accepted what happened to me. I realized that I'm not the only one who experiences these things and I'm glad that I have people around me that make sure I'm doing better."
"Those people being Grayson and Elijah."
"Yes, my mom and Brooklyn as well."
"I'm happy to hear that, but Iris there's something I have wanted to discuss with you. Your relationship with Elijah and Grayson."
"Why..?"
I looked to the side and I screwed my lips a bit. I don't know why she always wants to speak about them. I looked down at my hands and the rubix cube. I turned it to the right making the blue be correct. The blue was all matched and I didn't even want to mess it.
"Well, I'm curious to know why you are very sure of being in a relationship with two older men at your age."
"Okay?"
"Well what about boys closer in age to you?" she asked.
"I don't want to be and plus our relationship isn't that big of a deal. It's a BDSM relationship I think that speaks for itself..."
"Yes, I'm aware that it is a kink based relationship. Although I get from you that it is more than just kinky relationship."
"Ugh what do you want me to say?"
I looked up at her and she had her little notepad in front of her with her own in her hand. She had her legs crossed and her arm resting on the arm rest.
"Well, what are your feelings towards them? Some girls who are assaulted are more likely to isolate and distance themselves from loved ones, but you have told me that you attached yourself to them."
"I feel safe when I'm with them, I feel comfortable and I feel that I'm in a place where I can be myself."
"Do you think this is because you didn't have a father figure in your life? Those emotions can sometimes be what a daughter wants or should feel from her father. To feel safe, comfortable, accepted and loved."
I looked towards the clock that was on her wall. We had just started and only ten minutes passed. We still had fifty minutes left. Even though I could see how much time we had left I still counted the numbers in fives.
"You're looking at the clock, your checking to see how much time we have left," she pointed out.
I didn't look at her, I just looked back down at the rubix cube fiddling with it even more. I began turning it at a faster pace, hoping that she would move one.
"You don't like to discuss them, why?"
"Can we just discuss something else, like the fact I want to have sex again, but I'm scared I would freeze up."
I looked at her and I watched as she wrote something down. I always wanted to know what she wrote down, but I guess I will never get to know. She lifted her head back up at me.
"Are you ready to have sex for yourself or for them?"
"For me," I said.
"Well how do you react to their touch? Do you feel scared when they try to incite sexual contact?"
"No, because they don't incite anything. I usually am the one to do it, but it's just kissing."
"They are respecting what happened to you and don't want to trigger you, they are being considerate of what happened. They want you to feel comfortable."
The way she said that, threw me off. I know she was trying to get to a deeper issue within my relationship with them, but I was choosing to ignore it. I already said it to mom and she was the only person who needed to know what issue it stemmed from. Although she knew, she didn't pry as much.
Should I just give in to her? Tell her the reason why I think I actually like being with them? I sighed and I stopped playing with the rubix cube. She was here to help me, so I might as well.
"I think it has something to do with me losing my dad. I have never had a father figure in my life, my mom barely dated, but if she did I barely interacted with them. When Elijah and Grayson started our relationship, I just saw it to be sex, but in the beginning with Elijah it was mostly the attention I always wanted. He would cuddle me at night, he would always give me kisses without me asking, he would do small things to annoy me, he would always make sure if I had eaten anything or if I drank water, he always made sure my needs were met. Gray was a bit stone cold in the beginning, but he warmed up to me."
"They both watch movies with me and we have a specific show that we watch together. We cook together, we eat together and we go out and do things together. With them it just feels possible and easy in a nice way. I feel constantly loved and praised by them, I mean sure I do shit that gets me a punishment, but I don't mind it. I don't fucking know how this stems with my dad, I just know that with them it's like they are my safe place. They literally are my safe place for me and I have never had that before, besides my mom," I ranted.
"A safe place? To you they are your safe place, because you never had a relationship where you have felt outside love. They give you what you wanted in younger years and you might be attaching yourself to them, because you know that your relationship with them is temporary and you want to hold onto this feeling you have never felt before."
I hated that she was right though. Our relationship was temporary and I know it could never been something more. My eyes glossed over as tears began gathering in my eyes and I hated the fact I was going to cry. I really cared about them and I didn't want it to end, but I knew it would eventually end.
"It's temporary because I'm too young, Grayson wants to have a family and I can't give him something like that. I don't know about Elijah, but sooner or later he's going to want to have a family of his own, but I can never give them that. I hate the fact that I have to move on from them later on, but I just don't know if I will ever find love like what they give me. I just want to spend every moment with them, but I know it won't be like that forever. That's why I started writing about us, because at least I will still have something to constantly remind myself about them."
I kept wiping my tears as they fell out of my eyes. She had gotten me tissues and she handed them to me. I took them from her and I began dapping at my face, at least I wasn't wearing any makeup.